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Post by monkybunney on Jul 20, 2012 0:31:41 GMT -5
TRUE story
I just went and got some beer. When I pulled into the gas station there was this guy hanging out on some stairs I parked in front of. My key fab battery is dying so I had to press it a couple times to lock my car doors. He noticed me and said "Hey man I'm aint gonna steal nothing from your car." Smiling
I said,"I know that man! It aint you I'm worried about."
He said something unintelligible as I walked around my car. I didn't want to be rude and ignore him so I turned and looked at him. He held out his hand for a shake and said "I'm John."
I shook his hand and said "I'm Adam"
He said, "If you have it, could you spare a couple of dollars or anything so that I can get something to eat?"
John looked to be about 50. But I knew from experience that living on the street will make you look older than you are so I figured him for maybe late 30's. I had no cash money, just plastic.
I told him "Let me see what I can do."
I went inside and pulled $20 from the ATM and bought my beer. I asked the clerk to split the remaining $10 into to $5's. I walked out with 2 $5's and some change.
John was sitting on the steps where he had been. I palmed the $5 bill in my hand and walked towards him and shook his hand pressing the $5 into his. He looked at it and almost started crying.
He wanted to hug me. I received his hug and hugged him back. And why not? At that moment this broken human being, for just 5 quacking dollars, began to tremble. He said I was the only person since the war who'd offered him any semblance of human dignity. Since coming home and his wife leaving him because he was so quacked up mentally and physically his whole life turned to shiz. He said he had lost everything and was sleeping in the "wet weeds" behind the fence by the gas station.
He showed me his scars. He insisted I see what happened to him in Iraq. He joined the forces when the towers were struck. He thought He was doing the right thing but once he got blown up they couldn't give a quack. His scars were real. He still has shrapnel visible through his skin. He is homeless. John has no other human being left to give a quack about him so when someone like me does that means something to him. I do give a quack. I prayed to whatever it is I could possibly pray to to bring him some relief.
This guy would probably scare the shiz out of most people. He was dirty, unkempt, and mean looking. You would never know the soul behind that visage unless you spoke with it.
Monkey, thank you for this post. It shows how even a small act of kindness can make a BIG impact on someone. It's so easy for us to just ignore people like John and hide in the comforts of our lives. You're a kind soul, not just for giving him some cash, but listening to him pour all his pain out to you. We all can learn from this.
This was poignantly told, and I'm very glad I stumbled across it. I like to think I care about the downtrodden, and do what I can, when I can, to help them. But in reality, I do precious little when they don't physically cross my path.
Thank you for the reminder, and for what you did for him. My memory isn't great, but I'm pretty sure I'll remember this next time I'm in a similar situation as yours tonight.
Like you said. It was only $5 quacking dollars. But on any given day, that could be the difference between someone buying a Little Caesers pizza, or jumping off a bridge.
We all need to remember that most of us are not as far separated from being homeless as we think - especially in these tough economic times.
Before we pass judgment on what we may think of as a "dirty bum", we need to examine ourselves more thoroughly. We shouldn't automatically assume, for instance, that someone intends to buy alcohol or other substances with panhandled money. Maybe they do...but as the above scenario shows, they may very well just need some help to survive.
+1 for reminding us all what the true meaning of karma is.
Great post. I am glad people like you are part of our Inforoo family.
When I was living in Paris, the guy in front of me in line at the grocery store one day had a decent size order (people there usually shop small and often ) which he specifically packed into separate bags. On the way out, he gave an entire bag of food to the homeless man sitting outside. It had to been a solid 20-30 euros worth. That memory has been with me ever since, but your story i think will take it's place in my thoughts when I see people like John.
Welcome back Bonz, but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal.
Post by easymorningrebel on Jul 20, 2012 8:38:58 GMT -5
...a little goes a long way sometimes...most people shut themselves off from strangers and especially homeless people. I'm so glad you were able to connect with someone who needed and appreciated a little kindness. thanks for sharing this.
Nashville has done something great in the past few years with our local paper called The Contributer that is written and sold by our local homeless population. It gives people a voice and a way to not quite panhandle and at least have the symbolic element of working which lets them have more dignity than begging. I always give the guys selling it a dollar if I can (probably 5-6 times a week or you know 1 beer at the bar), and they are always excited when I say I already have a paper.
My other big thing is that usually I do not have the kids on Christmas eve so I get some Nashvillians together and we hand out pbr's and 5 dollar bills to any homeless we find while driving around drinking. I also gave a guy a 20 a few weeks ago because I saw him reading a William Gibson book and he had forgotten to work traffic. I drive around Nashville doing service calls all day and since this paper came out it has made it a lot easier on me to give.
Not drunk just going to bars and drinking, calm yourself son. Also in Tn it is completely legal for a passenger to drink just not the driver. I don't drive when I am trashed and I am willing to bet I have had less traffic citations in the past ten years than almost anyone on here.
My other big thing is that usually I do not have the kids on Christmas eve so I get some Nashvillians together and we hand out pbr's and 5 dollar bills to any homeless we find while driving around drinking.
There is so much wrong with this sentence that I can't even quite understand why you'd post it. To recap, you drive around while drinking on Christmas Eve and hand out alcohol and cash to a group of people who, more often than not, have serious issues with alcohol and addiction.
I've worked with the homeless a lot - in many states and many cities (ZOMG PRO BONO LOLZ). And I can say with absolute certainty the WORST thing you can do is give cash. Ever. If they're hungry, offer to buy them a sandwich. If they need bus fare, offer to wait for the bus with them. If they need money for a room at the Y, ask them which Y. And I know that some of these guys are veterans, or seem good, or anything else. And being addicts doesn't make them bad people, but the fact is that many of them are, and giving money only pushes that addiction forward, sad as it is.
MB, you still deserve to be commended for talking to this dude, and for showing him compassion, because that's what people really need - just a reminder that they actually do matter, and that they aren't "nothing" to everyone. And from your description, it doesn't necessarily sound like this guy was going to run off and spend your cash on NO NO WORD!!!. But for everyone else, please for the love of God don't just hand out money. Don't do it.
And DON'T hand out alcohol. That's about the single most irresponsible thing I've ever heard of.
I am pretty sure giving a dude a pbr on Christmas eve is not going to be the end of the world. I do not have your lifelong commitment to working with the homeless behind me. An occasional soup kitchen foray and fixing the computers at the mission for free is about as far as I go. Still dont act like I am out there with a tshirt launcher shooting off beers and fives. Giving an adult who wants one a beer and a little cash on Christmas eve will not hurt anyone. I am personally fine with it anyway, and I guess that is all that really matters.
Okay. Well I'm glad that handing out alcohol to a group of people who are likely to have a much higher incidence of alcoholism is just good clean fun to you.
Well the rides have been going on in Nashville since before my time, and they would continue without me anyway. I am glad you think that all homeless people are alcoholics who should never be allowed to get near a beer. On a side note do you think that just giving them money would stop the ones who want a beer from having one?
Out of morbid curiosity what is your particular problem Nod? That I take part in something Nashville has been doing for twenty years? Or that we on Christmas eve give people standing outside of gas stations where beer is sold a beer if they want one along with money that they could then use to go buy beer if they were so inclined instead of just money? Do you feel that I should be ashamed of this? Because I am not.
Anyway like I said I did not mean to tear up this thread with a Juggs Nod fight even though they apparently want one so badly today they can taste it so I am bowing out. I just had wanted to share a similar story of my own to MB's.
Jess has teenagers and is still bragging about how much he parties. It's just a lame trope.
It is not like I party with my teenagers and if you want to start knocking on my parenting skills you can suck my fat one. 9 months out of the year I am single dad who goes out with friends once a week if he is lucky. I am very thankful that my parents watch the kids during the summer so I can party some and go to festivals. For that matter anyone on here who knows my kids from Whoreshack to Zenfp, or Mike and Sarah or SFA will tell you I do a damn good job.
So in parting just let me say FVCK OFF if you want to go after my kids or the way I parent. I am not going to put up with that shit from anyone on here much less a sanctimonious asshole like yourself.
Post by monkybunney on Jul 20, 2012 12:26:51 GMT -5
A little bit of Juggs a little bit of Jess. There's validity to both your positions in my opinion. I can spot a crack head or junkie and I don't generally give them any money. Occasionally I will just reach into my pocket and give someone my loose change, but usually I stop and talk with them first. Listen to their story and ask them about their circumstances. Sometimes more than the money, it's the acknowledgment of there humanity that provides the most relief to a homeless person.
Homelessness is something that is close to my heart because I've been there. Through a series of calamities and some poor decisions I wound up on the streets of El Paso for a stint.
I think it's impossible to fully grasp what it's like and what it does to you mentally when your hungry and uncomfortable but can't do anything about it. No end in sight. I was friends with a graffiti artist and in exchange for looking out for cops while he was doing his pieces he would distract the gas station clerk by asking him the stupidest and most hilariously retarded questions while I would steal a couple cans of tuna and/or Vienna sausages. I don't romanticize those times looking back. They sucked ass in all directions and they sucked it HARD. But having been there it's made me grateful for everything I have, every day. That which does not kill us etc. etc.
I'm not Mother fucking Teresa. I didn't start this thread to show how benevolent I am. I know most of the "bums" that hang around that store, but I'd never seen John before. It was something about his story and his genuine emotion that really struck a chord in me. It wasn't the $5, it was another human being acknowledging him, engaging him and not only listening but really showing interest in who he was and what he's been through that brought this man to tears. John's been to hell, but he hasn't quite made it back yet. That disturbs me so I posted about it.
Post by itrainmonkeys on Jul 20, 2012 12:32:54 GMT -5
Let's keep personal things like family members out of these discussions....okay? Arguing is one thing. Bringing up a touchy subject like parenting always results in bigger arguments and heated comments. I personally didn't think noD was saying Jess is a bad parent but others did and I think it'd be better if we just didn't bring that kind of stuff into the discussion.
Let's keep personal things like family members out of these discussions....okay? Arguing is one thing. Bringing up a touchy subject like parenting always results in bigger arguments and heated comments. I personally didn't think noD was saying Jess is a bad parent but others did and I think it'd be better if we just didn't bring that kind of stuff into the discussion.
Well I took it that way as well as the others, and if he criticizes my parenting or children again we will have it our publicly and only one of of us will be left on here, and honestly at this point I do not care which one of us it is. He implied I am a poor parent because I go out and party and there is no other way to interpret it in my opinion. Sorry I can let a lot of stuff roll of my back but not that.
Post by nodepression on Jul 20, 2012 13:16:40 GMT -5
Yea, I wasn't saying Jess was a bad parent (I have no idea) I was just saying you would think he'd be over talking about how much he parties. Whatever.
Yea, I wasn't saying Jess was a bad parent (I have no idea) I was just saying you would think he'd be over talking about how much he parties. Whatever.
As much as I do not understand this statement. Can we just get on with the thread? Or monkeybunny, if you think it has served its purpose we can lock it up.
~All the accumulated knowledge, experience, and suffering of mankind is inside you. You must build a huge bonfire within you. Then you will become an individual. There is no other way.
~~~U.G. Krishnamurti
"I don't know whose water this is, but I'm drinkin it so F you."~~~Dale
"He is a wook in sheep's clothing."~~~Popsicle Sarah
"You know the feeling when you're in too deep, and when you make it out, the taste - so sweet." ~~DMB
Yea, I wasn't saying Jess was a bad parent (I have no idea) I was just saying you would think he'd be over talking about how much he parties. Whatever.
As much as I do not understand this statement. Can we just get on with the thread? Or monkeybunny, if you think it has served its purpose we can lock it up.
Lock it up or don't but this shit is not over. I should not have to be open to criticism on whether or not I am a good parent or act appropriately or up to Nodepressions standards as a parent. I will take it to the grievance thread but I am going to expect some resolution and at a minimum an apology.
but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal. 
