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A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.
The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, Busdriver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."
The hippie of course says he’d love to know, so Busdriver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says Busdriver, "you could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."
The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule; the nun shows up. While she’s in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them, but you must have sex with me first," he says.
The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.
After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I’m the hippie! "
The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I’m Busdriver!"
We didnt get mod'd...the thread just broke. If a mod had deleted our posts, there would have been an explanation why last in their place. When a thread hits a certain number of pages, it has a tendency to just break like ours did.
"We're no longer called Sonic Death Monkey. We're on the verge of becoming Kathleen Turner Overdrive, but just for tonight, we are Barry Jive and his Uptown Five. "
There's no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard. No song that I could sing. But I can try for your heart Our dreams, and they are made out of real things Like a, shoebox of photographs With sepiatone loving Love is the answer
A little feeling in my gut that I get of late when I think about these cats running the world with hate
Post by inertiaticc on Feb 26, 2008 15:29:54 GMT -5
Aw. the thread breaking is WEAK. that disappoints me
hm. we were in the middle of favorite experiences. so how about worst experiences?? i hope for funny ones, but i dont want to spit up my chipotles haha
Post by inertiaticc on Feb 26, 2008 15:38:05 GMT -5
we all have sex powers! ;D ;D especially us girls
could be! awkward stories are usually funny after the fact.
i once had a mother run in on me & a guy and she said "_____!! STOP SNEAKING GIRLS IN AT 3AM. GET OUT!" at which point me in my drunkenness accidentally stumbled into the mother's room.
Post by blankaflip on Feb 26, 2008 15:43:06 GMT -5
inertiaticc said:
Aw. the thread breaking is WEAK. that disappoints me
hm. we were in the middle of favorite experiences. so how about worst experiences?? i hope for funny ones, but i dont want to spit up my chipotles haha
Well... When I was in 9th grade, in my first real relationship... We were at her house, in her room, thinking the door was locked, (Which, of course it wasn't.) We just got done with the sex, I had just finished, and in walks her dad. Her dad was about 6'6 and easily weighed 300 pounds in pure muscle.... I'm surprised I didn't piss myself. Luckily for me, I didn't get pounded into dust- He seemed to ignore it... *phew* Brings back shivers to this day.
Post by inertiaticc on Feb 26, 2008 15:44:01 GMT -5
dancingantsy said:
anicwilliams1580 said:
So......is this like the awkward morning after, when you don't know what to say???
what was your name again??
ahaha. it'd be even worse if the other person was awake already and looking at you, then you wake up and the first thing you see is their face and the first thing out of your mouth is "GAHHHHH!!!! "
Post by inertiaticc on Feb 26, 2008 15:47:47 GMT -5
Well... When I was in 9th grade, in my first real relationship... We were at her house, in her room, thinking the door was locked, (Which, of course it wasn't.) We just got done with the sex, I had just finished, and in walks her dad. Her dad was about 6'6 and easily weighed 300 pounds in pure muscle.... I'm surprised I didn't piss myself. Luckily for me, I didn't get pounded into dust- He seemed to ignore it... *phew* Brings back shivers to this day.
rofl.
that reminds me of Grind, where Sweet Lou's girlfriends dad comes to beat the crap out of him. He was played by Kane Hodder so he was HUGE
Post by fallenangel on Feb 26, 2008 16:10:34 GMT -5
hahahaha....
my akward moment...when i was completing my internship in FL, i met this guy...we hit it off and hooked up several times over a period of 2 months...the one time, my roommates were all working and he and i were in the apartment by ourselves...a couple of our friends ordered pizza and were coming over that night for a movie night...so me and this guy proceed to occupy our time of waiting and were getting downt to business on the floor...well clothes were being removed and wouldn't ya know it...in walks two of our friends...so we just sat up, and went to the bedroom to finish what we started...
There's no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard. No song that I could sing. But I can try for your heart Our dreams, and they are made out of real things Like a, shoebox of photographs With sepiatone loving Love is the answer
A little feeling in my gut that I get of late when I think about these cats running the world with hate
Post by experiencehaze on Feb 26, 2008 16:15:30 GMT -5
inertiaticc said:
dancingantsy said:
what was your name again??
ahaha. it'd be even worse if the other person was awake already and looking at you, then you wake up and the first thing you see is their face and the first thing out of your mouth is "GAHHHHH!!!! "
Karma for making me laugh.
This thread will probably break many many more times. Same thing happened with the clues thread. we lost like 30 pages, then 60 or something like that.
"I want you to notice When I'm not around You're so fücking special I wish I was special But I'm a creep I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here" -Radiohead
“Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.” -Benjamin Franklin
Post by GratefulHippie on Feb 26, 2008 16:17:23 GMT -5
my serious bf in high school and i went at it like little nymphs. he's probably the reason i love sex so much today.
we always went to his house to get busy because his mom didn't care. like, REALLY didn't care. we'd do our thing, and then just lay in bed together and watch tv. she'd hear the tv come on, and just walk in to put laundry away or ask what we wanted for lunch or dinner. all the while our clothes are strewn about the floor and we're obviously naked under the covers.
I managed to survive my early adolescence and college years w/o ever getting walked in on by anyone...*knocks on wood* I had a couple of close calls to be sure, but lucked out every time.
"We're no longer called Sonic Death Monkey. We're on the verge of becoming Kathleen Turner Overdrive, but just for tonight, we are Barry Jive and his Uptown Five. "