Whether it's your first Bonnaroo or you’re a music festival veteran, we welcome you to Inforoo.
Here you'll find info about artists, rumors, camping tips, and the infamous Roo Clues. Have a look around then create an account and join in the fun. See you at Bonnaroo!!
Post by hollyanne0724 on Apr 24, 2008 14:34:08 GMT -5
all drunk dialiing does is get me into trouble...ask aj, just spilled my guts the other day... Totally sucks, we were broken up and slowly working on it, then i got piss ass drunk anc called him and yelled at him... for no real reason... now he wants nothing to do with me... well one minute he doesnt and now we have plans to go to a museum fri...
I am waaaaaay to old for the games... say what you mean and make sure your actions reflect your decision... i am sick of the wishy washy bull shit!
sorry that was my rant... ai am totally sick over the whole situation... cant sleep eat etc etc... and I am sure that after we hang out tomorrow everything will be like we are togehter but once we go our seperate ways he won't want to talk to me again...
UPDATE: he comment my new myspace picture. i guess that means i didnt ruin it.
no you definitely didn't ruin it. what you did was shift the balance of power to his side. meaning, you tipped your hand a little early and gave him the clear message that you are more interested in him than he is in you at this point...a fact he is indicating he's aware of by his lack of communication until 4 days after the fact and then by commenting on a myspace picture instead of texting or calling or other meaningful communication.
i'm sorry cause i'm sure that sounds harsh, but thats the way the game's played
i truly value the male perspective AND i completely agree. i also hate the game.. but understand that it's played.
i havent responded to his lame comment and i deleted his number (alas... one day late.. but i need to have some sort of way to not have this happen again).. but of course... i do hope he will call.....................soon.
Post by GratefulHippie on Apr 24, 2008 17:43:14 GMT -5
^^^^ no no no no no no no no
there is no reason you have to give into someone wanting to play "the game". it doesn't exist if both parties are mature enough to handle an adult relationship. its a lot easier to say "you know, i like you and would like to spend time getting to know" or even "you know, i think you're great, but i really don't see us as more than friends"...than it is to prolong whatever inevitable fate is probably known from the beginning by one party or the other.
sorry, but its ridiculous to say that "the game" has to be played. don't fall victim to it, and don't let anyone tell you that's how it has to be.
I agree with Hippie. I know its cliche now, but "He's Just Not That Into You" is a great book. So is "You're Really Not That Into Him, Either". All these fantastic Inforoo ladies deserve someone who is into you enough that they don't want to play games.
Post by msfelithatsme on Apr 24, 2008 18:56:10 GMT -5
^ ok well this is my attitude. in fact the last time we hung out... we had the "whats going on?" conversation. i didnt want it to happen.. but it was facilitated.. but anyway.. i just need to hear things explicitly. but anyway... yes. i have been avoiding playing the game. or trying to avoid it. ive done everything ive wanted to do along the way.. called when i wanted to call.. despite feeling like he might think "im too into him." but suddenly im all into it. and im like.. i wont call him for a while. its ridiculous really. its so rare to find someone who is completely on the same page ... and on the same sentence as you in the relationship world.
i have to agree with what someone posted earlier though... its impossible to end the game if one person is being honest and avoiding it and one person is playing.
but really... how do you differentiate between whether or not someone is "playing the game" or if thats just who they are?
What do you mean, if that's who they are? Like, they're just kinda flaky? Sorry, I just don't really get what you're saying. I've never been good at games... I'm not one of those girls that can "play it cool" and not call and text. Maybe I'm naive or a little too confident, but I always figure that the guy that I'm talking to wants to hear from me, just like I want to hear from him. If you feel as if you must act differently than how you would like to so he thinks one thing or doesn't think another, I can't see why that would be worth it... even if he seems really great. Like hippie says, it doesn't have to be like that... you deserve a guy who's for real.
Last Edit: Apr 24, 2008 19:32:33 GMT -5 by Deleted - Back to Top
Post by msfelithatsme on Apr 24, 2008 20:48:27 GMT -5
well im just asking how do you really know if they are playing a game or if thats how they are as a person in the extreme beginning steps of a relationship. my own situation is unique as it is long distance (different states) so it is hard to be calling and all and getting wrapped up when we are first getting to know each other and cant hang out until someone flies somewhere.
but.. the start of getting it together with someone is so difficult. getting to know them and how they act. how do you know when someone is really playing the game?
everyone plays the game. some play a lot, some play a little...some play maliciously, some play with good intentions.
its the human mating ritual...nothing more, nothing less. and its designed by nature to ensure that each of us finds the best suitable mate.
for the girls trying to deny the game let me ask you this: do you ever wear lip gloss? eyeliner? nail polish? high heels? bras? shave your legs? pluck your eyebrows? answer yes to any of these questions, and i'd like to welcome you too to the game!
for msfeli, without prying for lots of details i'd say if you've slept together already (especially if its happened more than once) and are still in contact, then you are both playing the game. you've established that there's some level of attraction on both your parts and that you have some level of physical compatibility. beyond that you'll need to pay attention to his reactions to you to continue to appraise the situation.
why don't you try continuing to date while you're seeing what happens with this? this way all your eggs aren't in 1 basket and you'll be able to relax a little more and have fun with it which, for the haters, translates to you being more yourself than you probably are being right now!
Maybe I'll throw myself to the dogs, but my back's not to the wall Maybe I'll lay some bricks for the man, but the days just aren't that long So if I settle back and chill will I see far enough to feel the angel's dream? I thought it was the Story of the World!
^^The mating ritual games are definitely fun... MIND games that make the other person feel insecure are not. I feel like they're two different things.
Msfeli, you've gotten a lottt of opinions thrown at you, but in the end, you're gonna go where you feel pulled. I'm not trying to say holding out for a guy you really like, even if you can't figure him out and it drives you a little crazy, is the wrong choice... just beeeeee yourself, like Genie says
13. If you deleted a number sober, it was probably for a good reason. Do not try to retrieve this number. Nothing good can come from it.
i don't delete numbers unless i'm for some reason not on talking terms with someone. If there's someone I want to stop drunk calling, I write [DO NOT CALL!!!] next to their name.
for the girls trying to deny the game let me ask you this: do you ever wear lip gloss? eyeliner? nail polish? high heels? bras? shave your legs? pluck your eyebrows? answer yes to any of these questions, and i'd like to welcome you too to the game!
I am female and I fully admit to playing the game - just not with intentions of hurting anyone's feelings
If you want to call, you should call. If you want to text, you should text. Does anyone really want to be with someone who is going to judge them by something as inconsequential as how soon or often they try to communicate?
Games are for children. While the intent may not be to hurt, too often that is the outcome. Sorry, Meg...that's not directed at you. I've just always felt very strongly that people should just be who they are without apology.
^^^Oh - I would not have taken as directed at me - I live in the South - the games between men and women are a way of life down here - u just go with the flow - but I have to say - I am glad to be married and done with the majority of games - of course, it just starts a whole new game of how to get the husband to do things around the house - LMAO
Occasionally I wish I had a breathalyzer on my Blackberry. There have been a few days I didn't want to wake up and piece the evening back together by reading my emails and text messages!
If you want to call, you should call. If you want to text, you should text. Does anyone really want to be with someone who is going to judge them by something as inconsequential as how soon or often they try to communicate?
Games are for children. While the intent may not be to hurt, too often that is the outcome. Sorry, Meg...that's not directed at you. I've just always felt very strongly that people should just be who they are without apology.
everyone plays the game. some play a lot, some play a little...some play maliciously, some play with good intentions.
its the human mating ritual...nothing more, nothing less. and its designed by nature to ensure that each of us finds the best suitable mate.
for the girls trying to deny the game let me ask you this: do you ever wear lip gloss? eyeliner? nail polish? high heels? bras? shave your legs? pluck your eyebrows? answer yes to any of these questions, and i'd like to welcome you too to the game!
for msfeli, without prying for lots of details i'd say if you've slept together already (especially if its happened more than once) and are still in contact, then you are both playing the game. you've established that there's some level of attraction on both your parts and that you have some level of physical compatibility. beyond that you'll need to pay attention to his reactions to you to continue to appraise the situation.
why don't you try continuing to date while you're seeing what happens with this? this way all your eggs aren't in 1 basket and you'll be able to relax a little more and have fun with it which, for the haters, translates to you being more yourself than you probably are being right now!
i really don't get this hate, the game is fun
wearing lip gloss and making sure your legs are smooth IS NOT EVEN CLOSE to playing the "i'm going to wait 3 days since the last time i saw you to call" game.
like sass said...if he gets weirded out because you call at one time or another...or text him a couple times a day, forget it! and if you're wondering...ASK. just say "you know, i really don't want to feel like this is one-sided, so if you're not into talking on the phone or texting, just let me know."
IMO, if a guy really likes you, he's going to want to talk to you. anything else is a game, and you shouldn't put up with it.
life and relationships would be so much easier without all the games.
no kidding
but the game is there, it's all about how you play it
just to clarify myself regarding playing "The Game"... it's how you play it or how you don't
i won't play junior high mind games but the little tests and teases when you are figuring out someone are part of the mating process and I think it's fun.
;D
