Whether it's your first Bonnaroo or you’re a music festival veteran, we welcome you to Inforoo.
Here you'll find info about artists, rumors, camping tips, and the infamous Roo Clues. Have a look around then create an account and join in the fun. See you at Bonnaroo!!
Post by myscatterheart on Jul 14, 2009 18:35:33 GMT -5
so uh...what's the difference between dog poop and human poop, besides one being from a human and one a dog? I mean...both are poop, right. So either way it sounds like you stepped in poop.
so uh...what's the difference between dog poop and human poop, besides one being from a human and one a dog? I mean...both are poop, right. So either way it sounds like you stepped in poop.
well, they are 2 different type of gross outs-ackkk
so uh...what's the difference between dog poop and human poop, besides one being from a human and one a dog? I mean...both are poop, right. So either way it sounds like you stepped in poop.
Human poop is WAAAAY nastier than dog poop. Smells way worse and sticks and spreads more.
Post by 9_sectored on Jul 15, 2009 13:54:00 GMT -5
I was standing next to this guy and he had just whipped out his Iphone...Heard a huge 'splat' sound...and sure enough, bird crapped alllll over that Iphone screen. That shiz was funny as hell.
Post by popetasticperson on Jul 15, 2009 14:09:42 GMT -5
i like that people are taking the dog vs human poop issue so seriously. poop is poop at bonnaroo unless you're talkin horse poop. horse poop is like regular poop only on a massive scale...it's devastating.
Post by hibouxdufromage on Jul 16, 2009 22:23:56 GMT -5
A young german fellow named Hardt, Once lit an incredible fart, Set fire to his larder, but squeezed a bit harder, and extinguished the blaze with a shart!
Post by StreetBum87 on Jul 17, 2009 10:12:04 GMT -5
there once was a man from mantuckit.... wait wrong joke oh and while we are on the subjet here is some info for those who like to poop at work.
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.
ESCAPEE Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE) Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN) Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TED Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
FLY BY Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
Post by hibouxdufromage on Jul 17, 2009 22:52:53 GMT -5
There was a young fellow from Sparta, A really magnificent farter. On the strength of one bean, he'd fart "God Save the Queen", and Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.
Post by hibouxdufromage on Jul 17, 2009 22:53:26 GMT -5
He could vary, with proper persuasion, His fart to suit any occasion. He could fart like a flute, Like a lark, like a lute, This highly fartistic Caucasian.
Post by hibouxdufromage on Jul 17, 2009 22:54:12 GMT -5
This sparkling young farter from Sparta, His fart for no money would barter. He could roar from his rear Any scene from Shakespeare, Or Gilbert and Sullivan's Mikado.
Post by hibouxdufromage on Jul 17, 2009 22:58:31 GMT -5
He was great in the Christmas Cantata, He could double-stop fart the Toccata, He'd boom from his ass Bach's B-Minor Mass, And in counterpoint, La Traviata.
Post by hibouxdufromage on Jul 17, 2009 23:01:30 GMT -5
His repertoire ranged from classics to jazz, He achieved new effects with bubbles of gas. With a good dose of salts He could whistle a waltz Or swing it in razzamatazz.
His basso profundo with timbre so rare He rendered quite often, with power to spare. But his great work of art, His fortissimo fart, He saved for the Marche Militaire.
One day he was dared to perform The William Tell Overture Storm, But naught could dishearten Our spirited Spartan, For his fart was in wonderful form.
It went off in capital style, And he farted it through with a smile, Then, feeling quite jolly, He tried the finale, Blowing double-stopped farts all the while.
The selection was tough, I admit, But it did not dismay him one bit, Then, with ass thrown aloft He suddenly coughed... And collapsed in a shower of shit.
His bunghole was blown back to Sparta, Where they buried the rest of our farter, With a gravestone of turds Inscribed with the words: "To the Fine Art of Farting, A Martyr."
Post by hibouxdufromage on Jul 17, 2009 23:04:23 GMT -5
On the subject of farts - one last item; they've got to come out, so why fight'em? You can blast them out loudly, and boast of them proudly, or if you're so inclined, you can light'em!
I was standing next to this guy and he had just whipped out his Iphone...Heard a huge 'splat' sound...and sure enough, bird crapped alllll over that Iphone screen. That shiz was funny as hell.
A young german fellow named Hardt, Once lit an incredible fart, Set fire to his larder, but squeezed a bit harder, and extinguished the blaze with a shart!
Yay for poop jokes.
There once was a man from Rangoon, who farted and filled a balloon. It rose way up high, into the sky, and stank out the man in the moon.
Post by StreetBum87 on Jul 21, 2009 9:05:39 GMT -5
Birdy, Birdy in the sky, Why'd you do that in my eye? Looks like ice cream, tastes like spit Oh my god! It's birdy 'shit'!
The days were old, the nights were blue, And through the alleys the shit wagons flew. A bump was hit, a cry was heard, A man was killed by a flying turd!
In days of old When knights were bold And toilets weren't invented, They left their load Beside the road And walked away contented.
I had a turd whose name was Sal, Sixteen miles on the anal canal
Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He wanted to see Pooh!
What do toilet paper and and the Star Ship Enterprise have in common? They both fly around Uranus looking for Klingons.
Post by portiadebossy on Nov 1, 2009 10:51:48 GMT -5
At 10,000 Lakes a few years ago, a human pooped right outside our tent. It was truly horrifying to think that while we were sleeping someone copped a squat about 2 feet from our heads. Our daughter (about 7 at the time) made up a hilarious song. Wish I could remember it exactly but it went something like this:
(Sang in a deep Etta James type voice) Don't step in the poop...... Someone is really lame.... Those are your favorite shoes.... They'll never be the same......
We laughed so hard we cried. Then she made a sign that said "danger turds" because it took us several hours of fighting to figure out who was going to clean it up.