Whether it's your first Bonnaroo or you’re a music festival veteran, we welcome you to Inforoo.
Here you'll find info about artists, rumors, camping tips, and the infamous Roo Clues. Have a look around then create an account and join in the fun. See you at Bonnaroo!!
Post by hibouxdufromage on Oct 15, 2010 18:58:26 GMT -5
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'
The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.
The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'
The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.
A Golden Retriever is at the Vet's office talking to a German Shepherd. The retriever ask the Shepherd, "what you in for?" The Shepherd responds, "I am a digger. I dig everywhere. I dig holes in the back yard. I dig up the couch. I even dug up my master's water bed last week. I am here to get my balls cut. I guess it is a way to change me. What you in for?" The golden retriever responds, "I am a pisser, I piss everywhere. I piss on the floor, I piss on the couch, I even pissed on the baby last week. I too am here to get my balls cut as a way to "change" me. About that time a great dane walks in the door. They both ask, "What you in for?" The Great Dane responds, "I am a humper. I hump everything. I hump the fridge, the kitchen, the guest, I even humped the wife last week." The retriever and the shepherd both ask, "So you getting the "cut"?" "No, No, No I am here to get my nails done."
A young girl wants to go to the movie and asked Dad for some money. In his drunken state he says, "Money, nothing is free around here. I need a blow job." "Disgusting, Are you kidding me?", she responds. "Nope, you want $$ and I want a blow job." "Well, it wont be the first time." and she really likes this boy that is going, so she starts to go down on her dad. When she puts her dad's unit in her mouth, she immediately spits it out and yells, "That taste like sh!t!"
Post by midnightmark on Nov 10, 2010 2:49:49 GMT -5
A lady says to her doctor," My husband has been complaining that my vagina has a horrible odor, but I bent over to take a wiff, and I don't smell anything."
The doctor examines her, and then says," You need an operation".
Post by billypilgrim on Nov 21, 2010 20:38:09 GMT -5
A Scotsman is bragging about a pub in Edinborough where if you buy two drinks, the bar buys you a third. An Irishman hearing this says he knows of a pub in Dublin where if you buy a drink the bar buys the next one. An Englishman says he knows of a place in London where they pay for all of your drinks and, at the end of the night, take you upstairs and get you laid. Incredulous, the Scotsman asks the Englishman if he's really been to such a place. He answers that he hasn't, but his sister has a bunch of times.
Police is sitting in his cruiser, bored out of his mind looking for speeders. After about an hour, this cherry red corvette comes blazing down the road. He immediately puts on the siren and asks the driver to pull over. He walks up to the car and notices an attractive blonde, he does the spiel and asks for her license and registration. She hands it to him, goes back to cruiser and reports it back to the station. -The cop on the other end of the PA says"wait a minute, I recognize that license number? Does she drive a red corvette" -The cop says "yes" -"Is she a smokin hot blonde" -The cop says "yes" -Okay, this is what you should do. Return to the car and whip out your junk. -The cop looks puzzled "You kidding me?! I could lose my job, my pension. This is not a good idea. -Don't be a puss, trust me. I'm still working. Just do what i say. -The cop obliges, he returns to the corvette, unzips, and lays out his goods. - The blonde replies "Oh no, not another breathelizer!"
Providing an outlet and a voice for music lovers to unite under the common theme of music for all. Join The Pondo Army to show your allegiance to musical freedom! Fighting for no censorship of the arts & music education in schools, The Pondo Army will triumph! The Pondo Army Movement
Follow me on twitter@Pondoknowsbest
Haha. At least there is a response. People will dedicate pages to some obscure band or bitch about music taste. But only a few regarding humor. Come on. I'm sure people have jokes or funny stories to share. I definitely appreciate the ones already submitted.
Post by pondo ROCKS on Jul 9, 2011 18:13:35 GMT -5
A paraprosdokian sentence consists of two parts where the first is a figure of speech and the second an intriguing variation of the first.
They're used typically for humorous or dramatic effect.
- Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. - Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. - The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. - If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. - We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. - Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish. - I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. - Women will never be equal to men till they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they're sexy. - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - You don't need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to skydive again. - The voices in my head may be fake, but they have good ideas! - Hospitality is making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were. - I scream the same way whether I'm about to be eaten by a shark or seaweed touches my foot. - Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go. - There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. - You're never too old to learn something stupid.
- Sometimes my mind wanders and other times it goes away completely.
- Never complain about growing old, far too many people have been denied that privilege.
- I live in my own little world, but that’s okay, they like me there
Providing an outlet and a voice for music lovers to unite under the common theme of music for all. Join The Pondo Army to show your allegiance to musical freedom! Fighting for no censorship of the arts & music education in schools, The Pondo Army will triumph! The Pondo Army Movement
Follow me on twitter@Pondoknowsbest
We're all a mess of paradoxes. Believing in things we know can't be true. We walk around carrying feelings too complicated and contradictory to express. But when it all becomes too big, and words aren't enough to help get it all out, there's always music.
Post by thebigbuddha on Jul 14, 2011 16:53:51 GMT -5
An Italian guy and a French guy are hunting together. Suddenly a beautiful, naked, buxom blonde runs past. The French guy says "Oui oui, would I like to eat her." So the Italian shot her.
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