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In 50% of cases, a cracking sound was heard. Yep, the horrifying sound of a penis cracking due to too much enthusiasm.
Reading that made me hurt for you.
So, I read this article in Maxim in like the late 90s early 2000s about this dude that broke his penis. It had pictures and everything... but basically he was doing doggy, it slipped out and then you know, with momentum, ended up breaking. He didn't go straight to the doctor and waited to see... well by the time he went the damage had been done basically. He went on to say how now, it doesn't always stand at attention when he wants it to, or only part of it will. It was a very sad article, and the images were horrifying.
I am the sole curator of the music selection that plays throughout our store. It's probably my favorite perk. Music I enjoy all day long, and then when the lineup drops I get to add new music to it to aid me in my lineup research. It's wonderful.
As bad as it is to not be able to listen to music at work (I have been there), it is far better than being forced to listen to terrible music at work. I am still scarred from my time slaving away at Gap Kids many years ago, where they played the same two-hour mix of godawful pop songs for 30 hours a week, 6 months straight. That's some G-Bay stuff right there.
At the place I worked at right before I left Boston, we were only supposed to listen to Kiss 108 or whatever stupid soft rock mix station replaced WBCN. I couldn't even "swing low, sweet chariot" away my slave-wage blues. As soon as the main manager was gone for the day, my Berklee-attending co-worker would share a look of 'nope!' and plug our iPhones into the stereo. I don't think the snooty Lexington crowd was ready for the Pitchfork-riffic jams.
this is why I'm scarred from christmas music. working in a restaurant with the MUZAK christmas station on from thanksgiving through new years. all terrible pop singer covers on a few hour loop. and I worked there from sophomore year of HS - jr year of college. and worked overtime because it was christmas break.
so scarred.
OMG YES! I worked at Steak & Ale in the 90s, and we had that huge "8-track-like" system. It was HUGE ass 8-tracks that were on a loop. After a double, you wanted to shoot yourself. It is the REAL reason I know the words to all the Christmas songs.
this is why I'm scarred from christmas music. working in a restaurant with the MUZAK christmas station on from thanksgiving through new years. all terrible pop singer covers on a few hour loop. and I worked there from sophomore year of HS - jr year of college. and worked overtime because it was christmas break.
so scarred.
Actually, I love working at the restaurant during the holiday season because of the music. I LOVE CHRISTMAS MUSIC. Pop and all. Bring it, Mariah.
Welcome back Bonz, but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal.
So, I read this article in Maxim in like the late 90s early 2000s about this dude that broke his penis. It had pictures and everything... but basically he was doing doggy, it slipped out and then you know, with momentum, ended up breaking. He didn't go straight to the doctor and waited to see... well by the time he went the damage had been done basically. He went on to say how now, it doesn't always stand at attention when he wants it to, or only part of it will. It was a very sad article, and the images were horrifying.
This is what scares me. I am all for enthusiastic receivers of the penis, and doggy is a favorite of mine, but doing doggy with someone who is TOO enthusiastic is absolutely terrifying. All it takes is an inch of accidental pull-out and then seconds later you're in unimaginable pain. Fuuuuuck that.
Last Edit: Feb 26, 2015 11:31:59 GMT -5 by Jaz - Back to Top
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So, I read this article in Maxim in like the late 90s early 2000s about this dude that broke his penis. It had pictures and everything... but basically he was doing doggy, it slipped out and then you know, with momentum, ended up breaking. He didn't go straight to the doctor and waited to see... well by the time he went the damage had been done basically. He went on to say how now, it doesn't always stand at attention when he wants it to, or only part of it will. It was a very sad article, and the images were horrifying.
This is what scares me. I am all for enthusiastic receivers of the penis, and doggy is a favorite of mine, but doing doggy with someone who is TOO enthusiastic is absolutely terrifying. All it takes is an inch off accidental pull-out and then seconds later you're in unimaginable pain. Fuuuuuck that.
There is a real missed opportunity of our groop name here
My mom used to sew back in the day and made us all matching sweatsuits that cut off all circulation to our feet. I think I still have nightmares about those.
Unrelated, my space heater just died.
...space heater? You make it sound so cool and futuristic.
Thankfully my mum restricted her sewing mostly to quilts, but as the youngest and tallest of three boys, circulation-cutting hand-me-downs still comprised a good chunk of the wardrobe.
My mom used to sew back in the day and made us all matching sweatsuits that cut off all circulation to our feet. I think I still have nightmares about those.
Unrelated, my space heater just died.
I was at a CVS the other day. A woman came in asking if they had any space heaters left. The manager (who was running the register) told her they had sold the last one a few hours ago. She seemed offended when he didn't drop what he was doing to show her the empty shelf and check the stockroom again. There's been snow on the ground since last Monday, lady. I'm sure people have been buying space heaters by the dozen in a blind panic.
So, I read this article in Maxim in like the late 90s early 2000s about this dude that broke his penis. It had pictures and everything... but basically he was doing doggy, it slipped out and then you know, with momentum, ended up breaking. He didn't go straight to the doctor and waited to see... well by the time he went the damage had been done basically. He went on to say how now, it doesn't always stand at attention when he wants it to, or only part of it will. It was a very sad article, and the images were horrifying.
This is what scares me. I am all for enthusiastic receivers of the penis, and doggy is a favorite of mine, but doing doggy with someone who is TOO enthusiastic is absolutely terrifying. All it takes is an inch off accidental pull-out and then seconds later you're in unimaginable pain. Fuuuuuck that.
My name is Dave Maynar and I endorse this message.
So, I read this article in Maxim in like the late 90s early 2000s about this dude that broke his penis. It had pictures and everything... but basically he was doing doggy, it slipped out and then you know, with momentum, ended up breaking. He didn't go straight to the doctor and waited to see... well by the time he went the damage had been done basically. He went on to say how now, it doesn't always stand at attention when he wants it to, or only part of it will. It was a very sad article, and the images were horrifying.
This is what scares me. I am all for enthusiastic receivers of the penis, and doggy is a favorite of mine, but doing doggy with someone who is TOO enthusiastic is absolutely terrifying. All it takes is an inch off accidental pull-out and then seconds later you're in unimaginable pain. Fuuuuuck that.
Haha, you're killing me, Jazmo. If I knew how to make that quote my signature, I'd be all over that.
So, I read this article in Maxim in like the late 90s early 2000s about this dude that broke his penis. It had pictures and everything... but basically he was doing doggy, it slipped out and then you know, with momentum, ended up breaking. He didn't go straight to the doctor and waited to see... well by the time he went the damage had been done basically. He went on to say how now, it doesn't always stand at attention when he wants it to, or only part of it will. It was a very sad article, and the images were horrifying.
This is what scares me. I am all for enthusiastic receivers of the penis, and doggy is a favorite of mine, but doing doggy with someone who is TOO enthusiastic is absolutely terrifying. All it takes is an inch off accidental pull-out and then seconds later you're in unimaginable pain. Fuuuuuck that.
I can confirm this is the worst.
I have also been kicked in the dick in this position. It is mariginally less painful but still incredible terrible.
My mom used to sew back in the day and made us all matching sweatsuits that cut off all circulation to our feet. I think I still have nightmares about those.
Unrelated, my space heater just died.
my mom put socks on me when i was about 3ish or something. the socks were so tight that they were cutting off circulation.
i can't grow hair on the back of my leg where the socks were too tight. it's interesting to see how the line has progressed as your skin grows. now it's basically in the shape of a slim U on the back of my leg, which used to be my ankle as a kid. it's not very noticeable since i'm blonde but in the right light you can see this weird smooth spot on the back of both of my calves lol. f'n parents
This is what scares me. I am all for enthusiastic receivers of the penis, and doggy is a favorite of mine, but doing doggy with someone who is TOO enthusiastic is absolutely terrifying. All it takes is an inch off accidental pull-out and then seconds later you're in unimaginable pain. Fuuuuuck that.
Haha, you're killing me, Jazmo. If I knew how to make that quote my signature, I'd be all over that.
when you quote him, change the "preview" to "BBCode" and copy and past that as your sig. if you need helps let us know!
This thread is making me so sad right now. I'm imagining every guy who has had a broken penis and that's awful. They shouldn't be able to do that. It's a cruel joke.... HOW LONG DOES IT EVEN TAKE TO RECOVER FROM THAT? Geez!!!
This is what scares me. I am all for enthusiastic receivers of the penis, and doggy is a favorite of mine, but doing doggy with someone who is TOO enthusiastic is absolutely terrifying. All it takes is an inch off accidental pull-out and then seconds later you're in unimaginable pain. Fuuuuuck that.
I can confirm this is the worst.
I have also been kicked in the dick in this position. It is mariginally less painful but still incredible terrible.
All I can think is I wish I had a snapchat channel for dick kick pics.
This thread is making me so sad right now. I'm imagining every guy who has had a broken penis and that's awful. They shouldn't be able to do that. It's a cruel joke.... HOW LONG DOES IT EVEN TAKE TO RECOVER FROM THAT? Geez!!!
i'm choosing to not read as much as possible, it hurts right now, thinking about it. ouchhhhhhhhh
This thread is making me so sad right now. I'm imagining every guy who has had a broken penis and that's awful. They shouldn't be able to do that. It's a cruel joke.... HOW LONG DOES IT EVEN TAKE TO RECOVER FROM THAT? Geez!!!
I Googled it and found this...
"After you have broken your penis, you will be out of commission sexually for a good six weeks or more until it heals up."
This thread is making me so sad right now. I'm imagining every guy who has had a broken penis and that's awful. They shouldn't be able to do that. It's a cruel joke.... HOW LONG DOES IT EVEN TAKE TO RECOVER FROM THAT? Geez!!!
I Googled it and found this...
"After you have broken your penis, you will be out of commission sexually for a good six weeks or more until it heals up."
Edit: Yes, we're that slow at work today. I'm dying.
TOO MUCH!!! OMG! It hurt me to read that. I am sorry I contributed to this.
I'm just glad I don't have a penis otherwise I'd probably be experiencing sympathy pains right now...and I just don't know that I could handle that. It sounds like an awful time.
Post by billybaroo on Feb 26, 2015 12:08:03 GMT -5
Based on how this is being described, it seems like a broken penis can be avoided by having slow, nonathletic, and dispassionate sex. I'm sure most of you are in no danger of a broken cock.
This thread is making me so sad right now. I'm imagining every guy who has had a broken penis and that's awful. They shouldn't be able to do that. It's a cruel joke.... HOW LONG DOES IT EVEN TAKE TO RECOVER FROM THAT? Geez!!!
i'm choosing to not read as much as possible, it hurts right now, thinking about it. ouchhhhhhhhh
I was worried where you were going when you started talking about your mom and socks.
I saw it last night. It was emotional, but still very good. Parks and Rec was a great show - really found its groove in the 3rd or 4th season and never really jumped the shark. I personally think they still could have made a few more good seasons, but I'm okay with it ending. It really gave a good push to the careers of Chris Pratt, Ron Swanson, and even Amy Poehler to a certain extent, so I'm happy for that too.
This article is everything that's wrong with hip-hop and those awful opinions that will inevitably be formed by it.
Please explain
Well for one, any article that deems Nicki Minaj, ILoveMakonnen, Rae Sremmurd, Vince Staples, and Earl fucking Sweatshirt as being "the most important people in hip-hop" is laughable and should immediately be discredited.