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Initially it was anxiety for me. The whole "I forgot to bring a hammer" and "Why are there so many Canadians drinking all of my beer" thing got a bit ugly for a few.
Lmao...... ;D
Sorry, don't mean to laugh at your discomfort, but that's funny. Where were you camped? Cause I was right next to some hard-partying Canadians, and also lent my hammer to several tool-less tent raisers in my vicinity. Maybe we were neighbors.
It was also my first roo. We went to see Black Angels and Clutch thursday night and I started asking myself if I really wanted to be stuck in a feilds with thousands of other people for four days. Then Clutch came on and the rest of the weekend was utterly amazing.
The Clutch show is what chilled me out as well. The music was great, the crowd was great. my sister wanted to sit down and she went off and I got worried and looked for her and found her all at ease and chilling on the grass, eyes closed listening to the music... and I realized it was a good thing, this Bonnaroo. No need to be on on on all the time... it's okay to chill and do what YOU want to do.
I get clausterphobic in large crowds, freak out when I'm overheated, prefer to be in control of the situation and because of this was seriously considering not going to Bonnaroo last year.
But then I realized that I'd be really sad if I missed it so I started psyching myself out weeks in advance. I gathered all of my supplies - and brought extra so I wouldn't care if others needed to borrow. I preplanned my clothes so I wouldn't have to think about what to put on my body when I'm stuck in a small, hot tent. And I just readjusted my thinking. It was hard, but it worked.
When I went back to the tent to change one afternoon, I hung out by myself for a bit because I needed the time to myself. My friends were completely fine that I was gone longer than expected. When the crowds closer to the stage got to be too much, I just went to the sidelines and chilled for a bit.
And most importantly, I stayed sober during the day so I could properly determine if I needed to take a break or not.
Doing all of this has also helped me keep that Roo state of mind all year and I know I'll be even better prepared for this year.
Also, my mom used to get severe panic attacks when she was younger and has said that the best thing to do was to focus on something else. She'd turn to the stranger next to her and compliment her outfit, try to engage her in a conversation. Helped her take the focus off herself, which would then calm her down.
Wise words, dcbee. I think planning well and understanding that you really are in control the entire time (by taking time out, moving to the side of the crowd, whatever) are the keys to success.
Post by localweather on Feb 8, 2008 14:44:13 GMT -5
The first time I went, on Saturday night around 3am or so a couple of members of our party go really bummed out about a variety of things and decided to leave 1st thing Sunday morning. Initially, I was right there with them but on the way back to our camp I stopped and talked to this local guy who was volunteering as a 1st aid person. He was so positive and all about taking in the whole experience, that it wasn't just the mud or the rain or the music or the crowds, but the whole of it, that me and one other guy were completely converted and ready to stay until Monday.
Unfortunately we weren't driving so we had to leave. Boo.
Post by msfelithatsme on Feb 8, 2008 16:48:16 GMT -5
i can honestly relate to you. i have a fun time at bonnaroo but the heat and dust really affected me. i also think i was expecting something different than i got, and for some reason i felt "off" in some way the entire weekend.
its like i was disappointed in myself and my lack of motivation due to the heat. something was strange.
when talking to my friend last night.. who was there last year and is going back.. i was teling her how i was apprehensive about going this year because im afraid of feeling like i felt last year. then i said to her something like "i dunno.. im not sure if i really had fun" and she was like.. are you kidding me.. silent disco.. girl talk.. remember.. LOL. and of course i did have fun. i just feel like the fun was at times overshadowed by the dust and the heat.
oh and of course the bad bonnaflu i got upon returning home.
but with all that said and done. i am 90 percent going back again this year.
yeah, at the time I was just thinking from moment to moment - can I wait to pee or should I just get it over with now? Am I not hungry because I have enough food in my stomach or is it because of the heat? Is it late enough in the day for me to not be sober anymore or is it still too early and I'll end up falling asleep at a show? Where is shade? How long are the lines for water? Are there any more Doritos? Dammit, I have to fix my bandana again.
But when I stopped and thought about it, I realized I was having an amazing time - and that's what I remember now
Post by msfelithatsme on Feb 8, 2008 19:01:32 GMT -5
dcbee said:
? Is it late enough in the day for me to not be sober anymore or is it still too early and I'll end up falling asleep at a show? Where is shade? But when I stopped and thought about it, I realized I was having an amazing time - and that's what I remember now
i went this route also. the heat hit me hard.. i vowed i would only start drinking beer when the sun went down. i chugged water all day.. i dont know how my friends were able to drink beer while watching regina and then ziggy.. HOLY HOT!!
back on the social anxiety thing, i'm kinda backwards. i have social anxiety, but it's only in small situations, like one-on-one coversations with strangers, or a group of 5 or 6 people "vs. me". i was completely fine at bonnaroo. you lose the insecurity cuz you disappear into crowds that big.
Post by henotbusybeingborn on Feb 8, 2008 22:47:01 GMT -5
I can totally relate to this. Last year's Bonnaroo happened to unfortunately coincide with a rough period for me. I was sick as a dog, and just constantly feeling down on myself. For the most part, Roo was the perfect medicine, and I had a great time. However, Friday night, during Tool's set, I decided to eat a certain something, hoping that it would have the desired positive effects. I think the combination of Tool playing in the background and my physical state of being really got to me, and for about 3 hours I felt terrible. It was like every sick and sad feeling in my body was just amplified, and I couldn't get happy about anything. Then I started to feel like my body processes were slowing down, and that they were going to cease. Basically, I thought I was going to die. It was at this point that I laid back in the seat of my van, and had a friend hold my hand. It was at that moment that "In The Aeroplane Over The Sea" by Neutral Milk Hotel came on Bonnaroo Radio. As soon as the song came on, it was like a giant boulder being lifted off my shoulder. Lyrics like "What a beautiful face I have found in this place that is circling all around the sun" and "Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all" rung so true in that moment that it completely reversed my pathetic state. Just in time for the late night sets!
Initially it was anxiety for me. The whole "I forgot to bring a hammer" and "Why are there so many Canadians drinking all of my beer" thing got a bit ugly for a few.
Lmao...... ;D
Sorry, don't mean to laugh at your discomfort, but that's funny. Where were you camped? Cause I was right next to some hard-partying Canadians, and also lent my hammer to several tool-less tent raisers in my vicinity. Maybe we were neighbors.
We were in Scott Evil, aka Toronto. I actually just got an email from the aformentioned Canadians yesterday. It looks like they're all in for this year. Should be a fantastic time..........
Post by purplefuzzystuff on Feb 9, 2008 13:54:21 GMT -5
henotbusybeingborn said:
I can totally relate to this. Last year's Bonnaroo happened to unfortunately coincide with a rough period for me. I was sick as a dog, and just constantly feeling down on myself. For the most part, Roo was the perfect medicine, and I had a great time. However, Friday night, during Tool's set, I decided to eat a certain something, hoping that it would have the desired positive effects. I think the combination of Tool playing in the background and my physical state of being really got to me, and for about 3 hours I felt terrible. It was like every sick and sad feeling in my body was just amplified, and I couldn't get happy about anything. Then I started to feel like my body processes were slowing down, and that they were going to cease. Basically, I thought I was going to die. It was at this point that I laid back in the seat of my van, and had a friend hold my hand. It was at that moment that "In The Aeroplane Over The Sea" by Neutral Milk Hotel came on Bonnaroo Radio. As soon as the song came on, it was like a giant boulder being lifted off my shoulder. Lyrics like "What a beautiful face I have found in this place that is circling all around the sun" and "Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all" rung so true in that moment that it completely reversed my pathetic state. Just in time for the late night sets!
Neutral Milk Hotel has that effect, I'm glad it made you feel better.
I don't know about depression at roo but it appears that most of the people only felt it for a little while, so I guess it is anxiety and you shouldn't let it get the best of you. It should be reassuring that other people felt it too and still had a great time
I tend to thrive in mass social situations like this. Go with the flow and have a open mind and it usually pans out in the wash. It's the driving I hate.
Post by steveternal on Feb 9, 2008 14:41:56 GMT -5
In any event, glad you felt better and are coming back for more, fiveleavesleft. You'll probably be fine the second time around, but just remember that Inforoo is just about the best support group you can find, and it doesn't stop at Bonnaroo. There's Camp Inforoo set up every year in the tent-only section, and the people there are always so friendly and happy to help out another Inforooster (or even someone who's not on Inforoo!). If you need anything at all, you know where you can go.
Post by venusinfurs on Feb 9, 2008 14:54:47 GMT -5
2006, my first year, on Thursday night, I was severely depressed as I laid in my tent, trying to fall asleep even with the loud noise all around me. I thought I had made a mistake coming to Bonnaroo, and all I wanted to do was go home. I think it was a mixture of sleep deprivation, home sickness, anxiety, and culture shock. I was over it by the next morning, though.
Post by popsicle sarah on Feb 9, 2008 21:32:29 GMT -5
wow, until i read this thread i forgot about a similar feeling i had last year. the rest of the weekend was so spectacular it had never crossed my mind again.
we got on the farm late thursday afternoon and had a really amazing night. i was really tired from not getting much sleep the night before because of our pre-roo party. and didn't get much sleep thursday night either for obvious reasons. the next morning we were stoked to go do yoga. i hadn't realized how hot it would get so early and i forgot to put on sunscreen until we got back from yoga. i got so hot and sunburned during the practice i couldn't even function for the rest of the day. i felt sad and anxious and was having the same thoughts of wanting to leave. i felt like a sissy. everyone was partying during the day and i just wanted to go home. once friday night came the feeling went away and i just let myself get immersed in the experience. we ended up meeting the most amazing group of people and i had the time of my life. we are meeting up with the same folks this year. knowing what to expect i know i will handle the first day a lot better this year. glad to know i'm not the only one that had an experience like this.
Post by frankthemute on Feb 10, 2008 13:43:03 GMT -5
Oddly it was my 2nd Roo when I had a panic attack. As soon as we got the tent up I "socialized" with the neighbors and I had quit "socializing" for a while just for Roo lol. Well, as soon as I hit Shakedown I started panicking a little, but then I sat down and my buddy bought us some waters and dollar grilled cheeses and we sat there talking about how glad we were to be back and after about 20-30 minutes the anxiety/panic had subsided and after that it was gravy. It was weird cause I've never had a panic attack. One person in our group was really worried he would have the same problems cause he gets them on the reg. but he was fine. So yea its all about just chillin for a bit and relaxing.
The only "attack" I had was last year when the Black Angels were playing, They must have hit the Brown note or something because everything turn back and white like I was going to pass out, so I had to make my way out of the tent and sit on the grass. Funny thing is 2 of my other friends felt the same way and they had to come out and sit down too...lol I think it was the heat, being crowded and the loudness, the rest of the time was awesome except for the DUST AND HEAT, but this year I will be prepared!
also this year will be great, cause Eddie will be there!!!!
I experienced anxiety. The heat and just the logistics of everything, and the overwhelming atmosphere, made for a lot of stress. Plus I did have that feeling of being "stuck". After 'Roo, I felt like I needed a vacation from my vacation. I think knowing what its like will help me out this year. I will be better prepared both materially and emotionally.
I'd like to share an expierance that occured while "On the Festival Road" (title to be of my dreamed of book) in 2007.
I had been racing agains the clock. One one wrist the watch of reality consumed my attention. On the other wrist and forgotten about was the clock of my spiritual connection-being with "Family"festivalin.
I had been so consumed by mundania and the polluting muck that sometimes occurs I had forgotten about "The Gathering of the Vibes" a fest held in the North East (check it out on the web).
As I broke out of the concrete jungle of Philly I found my self pondering the weeks travel ( I spent some R&R in Atlantic city then Philly). I realised I had this pressurized drive in me to head north. I couldn't get through the muck in my mind to decipher what my spirit eye was telling me.
Then the cell phone began singing a collective song and a flury of calls came in. Yep, I had forgotten about the gatherings of the VIBEs mannnnn! Sh*T!! I rushed to dial up the web on my phone. Ticks sold out!!!! F***ck!
Then a call came through a tribal brother had a ticket at his camp just sittin there with my name on it!!!!!!!!!!!!! yea ah hhhaah baby go tribe!!!!
Upon signing into my world full time as "Triptoy" I came across a lovely Gorgeous and kindered spirit. She till this day thanks me for genuineness as she had been
Depressed for the day and a half prior to my arrival. She proclaims that the VIBE I brought around her sent her depression into another orbit far removed from her and thus allowed her to remember all things that were good. Coincedently, she became my festie mate at the vibes and we were inseperable through out and in spirit till this day.
I remeber my first festival, it was a more earthy festival (if you will) and I also remember crying uncontrollably and hysterically the day it was ending. The emotions were uncontrollable and reminded me just how human I really was and what I did and did not have control over. The best moment of my life, crying that day because for the first time in 30 yrs (or so, lol) I cried genuinely and for no real reason-just a release of mundania's weight.
So yeah I can relate to the depression element just as my new tribal sister from the vibes (Tripette) and my expierances prove. You do, can and will with out choice set the tone of the enviroment around you at a festival it is a collective whole.
Remeber this and be kind , decent, and love thy neighbor even if you do get depressed we are family-naturaully.
Post by starrynight on Feb 12, 2008 15:34:17 GMT -5
I had a complete breakdown as I was leaving on Sunday evening. I sat in my jeep and cried, loudly for quite a while before leaving the grounds. I definitely didnt experienced any depression the first night. The first night I just couldnt believe I was actually there and feeling nothing but awesomeness!! The last day it started setting in and as I was getting ready to leave a series of events happened to bring it on but I also think it was a mixture of exhaustion, substances and just not ready for it to be over. There may have been a little bit of disappointment in myself that i didnt make as much of it as i shhould have.
Right on Moe right on! I wanted to be there last year intended to go. Could not get the logistics worked out in time among other attributable to Bonnaroo facts (please do not ask at this time).
But my festivalin expierence and "festival road" dates were after Roo so I tried to salvage the best of a terrible start. This year tho I am going even if I gotta gotta dress like jesus and steel his pogo stic (still can't get that thought from the ticket prices thread outta my head lol). Or unless there is a need for me to be else where, but it better be a pretty big need seeing I'm making up for Bonnaroo '07 too.
I can relate to alot of these posts. Last year was my first Roo and I was totally overwhelmed and had culture shock. The heat got to me and I was just out of it for half of the weekend. I still had a good time, but I also forgot how much fun I did have until I sat back and thought about it. It was a totally uncomfortable situation for me, but I made it through it and all in one piece. I think I also put unrealistic expectations on Bonnaroo as a whole and might have been slightly disappointed. Then I realized what it was all about and had the time of my life on Saturday night. I definately learned from last year. I know now that I need to try and chill more during the day and, yes, stay sober. Save the festivities for the night/late night, unless there is some rockin' bands during the day that I want to see. I am also going to shower this year, I think it will help immensely. All-in-all I have my ticket for this year and I am totally stoked. I know what to expect and it is going to be a much better time! See you all there!
i have to admit. there's a part of me that's worried about being a bit of a wet blanket on the first day this year. on june 12th it will be a year since my mom passed away. i almost decided not to go to roo but music is how i get through everything and i would rather be around 80,000 people who are feeling the music with me then stay at home and dwell on the negative. i know it will definitely effect my mood but i'm hoping to make it a cathartic experience. i'm staying optimistic.
not trying to bring the thread down. . just putting in my 2 cents
Post by Darth Boo Boo Kitty @#*& on Feb 25, 2008 8:48:38 GMT -5
I always go through a rough adjustment period on Thursday night. I've been there every year, but I have a dark streak. The harsh floodlights, seas of people and noise make me think of a post-apocalyptic refugee camp. I just find a happy place, talk to happy people and eventually I'm able to gain control of my thinking again and see things for what they are.
I think the key is to remind yourself that you're in control. You don't have to be in Centeroo if you don't want to be. There is a vast amount of space to walk and plenty of things to see if you aren't in the mood for the crowd. Conversely, if you need people, they're all around and mostly pleasant. Make a good camp site so that you have a base to go back to. That helps too.
. just putting in my 2 cents 