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"Elvis or The Beatles?" "Elvis obviously... he changed music first."
I'm sorry, you know I'm not one of those people blinded by The Beatles greatness, but this is the wrong answer. As overrated as The Beatles are Elvis is a million times more overrated. The only thing he changed about music was the people that listened to it.
"Elvis or The Beatles?" "Elvis obviously... he changed music first."
I'm sorry, you know I'm not one of those people blinded by The Beatles greatness, but this is the wrong answer. As overrated as The Beatles are Elvis is a million times more overrated. The only thing he changed about music was the people that listened to it.
Oh, the date went mediocre guys... We'll leave it at that. I haven't decided if there will be a date 2
Here is where I reference the article I know at least Jaz and abrakapokus shared a while back. It's either a fuck yes or it's a no.
I read it, and it's a good one. I think I'm mainly just "eh" because I'm not looking for anything real out of this guy.. I don't know. I leave here in like a month and a half, I guess it'd be nice just to have someone around for that time to hang out with and do things with.
Here is where I reference the article I know at least Jaz and abrakapokus shared a while back. It's either a fuck yes or it's a no.
I read it, and it's a good one. I think I'm mainly just "eh" because I'm not looking for anything real out of this guy.. I don't know. I leave here in like a month and a half, I guess it'd be nice just to have someone around for that time to hang out with and do things with.
So how did you enjoy spending time around the guy? There's nothing wrong with having a short term relationship like that. Just make sure it's with somebody that you actually wanna spend the time with.
I read it, and it's a good one. I think I'm mainly just "eh" because I'm not looking for anything real out of this guy.. I don't know. I leave here in like a month and a half, I guess it'd be nice just to have someone around for that time to hang out with and do things with.
So how did you enjoy spending time around the guy? There's nothing wrong with having a short term relationship like that. Just make sure it's with somebody that you actually wanna spend the time with.
He wasn't bad, he let me nerd out about music for a while, though I could tell he had no idea who anyone I was talking about was. So that's a plus. But we only hung out for like 2.5 hours last night and I felt like I was reaching for things to talk about the entire time. I probably won't go out with him again actually. Answering that question shouldn't be so hard to answer...
So how did you enjoy spending time around the guy? There's nothing wrong with having a short term relationship like that. Just make sure it's with somebody that you actually wanna spend the time with.
He wasn't bad, he let me nerd out about music for a while, though I could tell he had no idea who anyone I was talking about was. So that's a plus. But we only hung out for like 2.5 hours last night and I felt like I was reaching for things to talk about the entire time. I probably won't go out with him again actually. Answering that question shouldn't be so hard to answer...
Maybe he wanted to nerd out about movies and realized you were a just as much of a hopeless case as he is with music? Ya'll were never meant to be.
I'm still waiting on tonight's report on his smooth text moves.
He wasn't bad, he let me nerd out about music for a while, though I could tell he had no idea who anyone I was talking about was. So that's a plus. But we only hung out for like 2.5 hours last night and I felt like I was reaching for things to talk about the entire time. I probably won't go out with him again actually. Answering that question shouldn't be so hard to answer...
Maybe he wanted to nerd out about movies and realized you were a just as much of a hopeless case as he is with music? Ya'll were never meant to be.
I'm still waiting on tonight's report on his smooth text moves.
you're right. I don't do movies, so I'm in for a hard time. And just wait. I promise you. It's coming. It'll probably happen after the sun is down, so it's a good thing you're up late because I'm going to take a picture and send it.
"Elvis or The Beatles?" "Elvis obviously... he changed music first."
I'm sorry, you know I'm not one of those people blinded by The Beatles greatness, but this is the wrong answer. As overrated as The Beatles are Elvis is a million times more overrated. The only thing he changed about music was the people that listened to it.
Elvis is quite literally a pale imitation of Chuck Berry. You want to revere someone as the King of Rock & Roll? Chuck Berry is the man.
I'm sorry, you know I'm not one of those people blinded by The Beatles greatness, but this is the wrong answer. As overrated as The Beatles are Elvis is a million times more overrated. The only thing he changed about music was the people that listened to it.
Elvis is quite literally a pale imitation of Chuck Berry. You want to revere someone as the King of Rock & Roll? Chuck Berry is the man.
I'm partial to Chuck's cousin Marvin Berry, who discovered Johnny B. Goode at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance, replete with the best guitar solo known to man.
Elvis is quite literally a pale imitation of Chuck Berry. You want to revere someone as the King of Rock & Roll? Chuck Berry is the man.
I'm partial to Chuck's cousin Marvin Berry, who discovered Johnny B. Goode at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance, replete with the best guitar solo known to man.
These sorts of bootstrap paradoxes are exactly why I don't believe in true love.
This girl in my office has been trying real hard to be my work wife for weeks and I finally gave in today. There aren't any sparks from my perspective but I needed a work wife. It's as close as I get to flirting these days.
I'm gonna try not to ramble, but I make no promises. I haven't been in a relationship since towards the end of 2010, which is to say I've never really been even remotely close to an adult relationship since I had just graduated high school when I was in my last relationship. Over the past several years I haven't been desirous of one because I'm pretty good at being single. My irreverence serves my personality well and the summer after I graduated college I slept with 7 different women, so that aspect was never an issue. None of those situations led anywhere that I wanted them to, however, post-sex. I'm still friends with four of them, two of which are my roommates, both of which have boyfriends and one of which I was in a threesome with at 4am one time, another I only see rarely and things are cordial, the last I see pretty regularly and she tells people that I'm her best friend and she has all but admitted her love for me on several occasions. She started crying uncontrollably when I told her we couldn't sleep together anymore a few months ago. Anyway. Holy fucking a, that's a lot. I guess I'm just giving you all the background information on where I'm coming from in this newfound situation I've found myself in. I already hate how this anecdote is gonna start and I know myself so I can't state it any other way so here goes: So there's this waitress. She works at the bar at the end of my street that I'm something of a regular at. She's been smiling at me and getting me hamburgers with a fried egg and pineapple on them for two years now. A couple weeks ago I went over to Sporty's (the name of the bar, obviously you guys) to watch what must have been Game 2 of Warriors v. Cavs. The second I walk through the door of the bar she practically ran up to me and asked, "Did I see you at a concert a couple weeks ago?" She wasn't working at the time, she was wearing this nice, unassuming, sort of salmon colored blouse and I had absolutely no idea who she was when she started talking. I was so caught off guard that my brain short-circuited and refused to make any of those all-important neural connections that allow people the convenience of facial recognition. While I let my mind reel to attempt to come up with some sort of answer as to why she looked so familiar, I responded to her question simply by saying, or perhaps more accurately, muttering, "Probably." I'm usually smooth in situations of this nature, but she saw right through me and before we got to the subject at hand, she explained very briefly that she's waited on me like 100 times and she brings me hamburgers with pineapple on them and that she calls me "Pineapple Guy." The second she said the word "waited" I figured it out. Fucking genius, am I right? Anyway, I'm getting bored of telling this non-story. Apparently she went to the same Lady Lamb concert I went to and she asked me if I went because a friend brought me and I told her I had listened to her prior and she got really excited that I wasn't just a tag-along and that I was actually a fan of her music and that's the reason I went. We talked about how good After is, but then her friend grabbed her and essentially walked her away from me. I learned her name is Kelly and that she works Wednesday and Friday lunch shifts. I've been really into this girl for the past two years and I've always been too nervous to do anything about it because hitting on someone while they're working sounds like a fucking nightmare. So. Tomorrow I'm gonna go in and ask her when she gets off (and then I'll really quickly interject and say later tonight, ayeeee) and then come back later and see if I can muster up the balls to ask her out.
tl;dr I've been a sexually satisfied dude the past 13 months and tomorrow I'm gonna do something I haven't done since 2009.
As with everything lengthy that I write, I refuse to reread this before I post it. So. Have fun.
I'm gonna try not to ramble, but I make no promises. I haven't been in a relationship since towards the end of 2010, which is to say I've never really been even remotely close to an adult relationship since I had just graduated high school when I was in my last relationship. Over the past several years I haven't been desirous of one because I'm pretty good at being single. My irreverence serves my personality well and the summer after I graduated college I slept with 7 different women, so that aspect was never an issue. None of those situations led anywhere that I wanted them to, however, post-sex. I'm still friends with four of them, two of which are my roommates, both of which have boyfriends and one of which I was in a threesome with at 4am one time, another I only see rarely and things are cordial, the last I see pretty regularly and she tells people that I'm her best friend and she has all but admitted her love for me on several occasions. She started crying uncontrollably when I told her we couldn't sleep together anymore a few months ago. Anyway. Holy fucking a, that's a lot. I guess I'm just giving you all the background information on where I'm coming from in this newfound situation I've found myself in. I already hate how this anecdote is gonna start and I know myself so I can't state it any other way so here goes: So there's this waitress. She works at the bar at the end of my street that I'm something of a regular at. She's been smiling at me and getting me hamburgers with a fried egg and pineapple on them for two years now. A couple weeks ago I went over to Sporty's (the name of the bar, obviously you guys) to watch what must have been Game 2 of Warriors v. Cavs. The second I walk through the door of the bar she practically ran up to me and asked, "Did I see you at a concert a couple weeks ago?" She wasn't working at the time, she was wearing this nice, unassuming, sort of salmon colored blouse and I had absolutely no idea who she was when she started talking. I was so caught off guard that my brain short-circuited and refused to make any of those all-important neural connections that allow people the convenience of facial recognition. While I let my mind reel to attempt to come up with some sort of answer as to why she looked so familiar, I responded to her question simply by saying, or perhaps more accurately, muttering, "Probably." I'm usually smooth in situations of this nature, but she saw right through me and before we got to the subject at hand, she explained very briefly that she's waited on me like 100 times and she brings me hamburgers with pineapple on them and that she calls me "Pineapple Guy." The second she said the word "waited" I figured it out. Fucking genius, am I right? Anyway, I'm getting bored of telling this non-story. Apparently she went to the same Lady Lamb concert I went to and she asked me if I went because a friend brought me and I told her I had listened to her prior and she got really excited that I wasn't just a tag-along and that I was actually a fan of her music and that's the reason I went. We talked about how good After is, but then her friend grabbed her and essentially walked her away from me. I learned her name is Kelly and that she works Wednesday and Friday lunch shifts. I've been really into this girl for the past two years and I've always been too nervous to do anything about it because hitting on someone while they're working sounds like a fucking nightmare. So. Tomorrow I'm gonna go in and ask her when she gets off (and then I'll really quickly interject and say later tonight, ayeeee) and then come back later and see if I can muster up the balls to ask her out.
tl;dr I've been a sexually satisfied dude the past 13 months and tomorrow I'm gonna do something I haven't done since 2009.
As with everything lengthy that I write, I refuse to reread this before I post it. So. Have fun.
"boys really do suck. but don't worry boo, I'll treat you right" - text from nico after my birthday
check out this suave fuck ^ jokes. go get 'er, son!!
I'm gonna try not to ramble, but I make no promises. I haven't been in a relationship since towards the end of 2010, which is to say I've never really been even remotely close to an adult relationship since I had just graduated high school when I was in my last relationship. Over the past several years I haven't been desirous of one because I'm pretty good at being single. My irreverence serves my personality well and the summer after I graduated college I slept with 7 different women, so that aspect was never an issue. None of those situations led anywhere that I wanted them to, however, post-sex. I'm still friends with four of them, two of which are my roommates, both of which have boyfriends and one of which I was in a threesome with at 4am one time, another I only see rarely and things are cordial, the last I see pretty regularly and she tells people that I'm her best friend and she has all but admitted her love for me on several occasions. She started crying uncontrollably when I told her we couldn't sleep together anymore a few months ago. Anyway. Holy fucking a, that's a lot. I guess I'm just giving you all the background information on where I'm coming from in this newfound situation I've found myself in. I already hate how this anecdote is gonna start and I know myself so I can't state it any other way so here goes: So there's this waitress. She works at the bar at the end of my street that I'm something of a regular at. She's been smiling at me and getting me hamburgers with a fried egg and pineapple on them for two years now. A couple weeks ago I went over to Sporty's (the name of the bar, obviously you guys) to watch what must have been Game 2 of Warriors v. Cavs. The second I walk through the door of the bar she practically ran up to me and asked, "Did I see you at a concert a couple weeks ago?" She wasn't working at the time, she was wearing this nice, unassuming, sort of salmon colored blouse and I had absolutely no idea who she was when she started talking. I was so caught off guard that my brain short-circuited and refused to make any of those all-important neural connections that allow people the convenience of facial recognition. While I let my mind reel to attempt to come up with some sort of answer as to why she looked so familiar, I responded to her question simply by saying, or perhaps more accurately, muttering, "Probably." I'm usually smooth in situations of this nature, but she saw right through me and before we got to the subject at hand, she explained very briefly that she's waited on me like 100 times and she brings me hamburgers with pineapple on them and that she calls me "Pineapple Guy." The second she said the word "waited" I figured it out. Fucking genius, am I right? Anyway, I'm getting bored of telling this non-story. Apparently she went to the same Lady Lamb concert I went to and she asked me if I went because a friend brought me and I told her I had listened to her prior and she got really excited that I wasn't just a tag-along and that I was actually a fan of her music and that's the reason I went. We talked about how good After is, but then her friend grabbed her and essentially walked her away from me. I learned her name is Kelly and that she works Wednesday and Friday lunch shifts. I've been really into this girl for the past two years and I've always been too nervous to do anything about it because hitting on someone while they're working sounds like a fucking nightmare. So. Tomorrow I'm gonna go in and ask her when she gets off (and then I'll really quickly interject and say later tonight, ayeeee) and then come back later and see if I can muster up the balls to ask her out.
tl;dr I've been a sexually satisfied dude the past 13 months and tomorrow I'm gonna do something I haven't done since 2009.
As with everything lengthy that I write, I refuse to reread this before I post it. So. Have fun.
This was weird. But yea, if she likes Lady Lamb she has to be cool. Go for it.
I'm gonna try not to ramble, but I make no promises. I haven't been in a relationship since towards the end of 2010, which is to say I've never really been even remotely close to an adult relationship since I had just graduated high school when I was in my last relationship. Over the past several years I haven't been desirous of one because I'm pretty good at being single. My irreverence serves my personality well and the summer after I graduated college I slept with 7 different women, so that aspect was never an issue. None of those situations led anywhere that I wanted them to, however, post-sex. I'm still friends with four of them, two of which are my roommates, both of which have boyfriends and one of which I was in a threesome with at 4am one time, another I only see rarely and things are cordial, the last I see pretty regularly and she tells people that I'm her best friend and she has all but admitted her love for me on several occasions. She started crying uncontrollably when I told her we couldn't sleep together anymore a few months ago. Anyway. Holy fucking a, that's a lot. I guess I'm just giving you all the background information on where I'm coming from in this newfound situation I've found myself in. I already hate how this anecdote is gonna start and I know myself so I can't state it any other way so here goes: So there's this waitress. She works at the bar at the end of my street that I'm something of a regular at. She's been smiling at me and getting me hamburgers with a fried egg and pineapple on them for two years now. A couple weeks ago I went over to Sporty's (the name of the bar, obviously you guys) to watch what must have been Game 2 of Warriors v. Cavs. The second I walk through the door of the bar she practically ran up to me and asked, "Did I see you at a concert a couple weeks ago?" She wasn't working at the time, she was wearing this nice, unassuming, sort of salmon colored blouse and I had absolutely no idea who she was when she started talking. I was so caught off guard that my brain short-circuited and refused to make any of those all-important neural connections that allow people the convenience of facial recognition. While I let my mind reel to attempt to come up with some sort of answer as to why she looked so familiar, I responded to her question simply by saying, or perhaps more accurately, muttering, "Probably." I'm usually smooth in situations of this nature, but she saw right through me and before we got to the subject at hand, she explained very briefly that she's waited on me like 100 times and she brings me hamburgers with pineapple on them and that she calls me "Pineapple Guy." The second she said the word "waited" I figured it out. Fucking genius, am I right? Anyway, I'm getting bored of telling this non-story. Apparently she went to the same Lady Lamb concert I went to and she asked me if I went because a friend brought me and I told her I had listened to her prior and she got really excited that I wasn't just a tag-along and that I was actually a fan of her music and that's the reason I went. We talked about how good After is, but then her friend grabbed her and essentially walked her away from me. I learned her name is Kelly and that she works Wednesday and Friday lunch shifts. I've been really into this girl for the past two years and I've always been too nervous to do anything about it because hitting on someone while they're working sounds like a fucking nightmare. So. Tomorrow I'm gonna go in and ask her when she gets off (and then I'll really quickly interject and say later tonight, ayeeee) and then come back later and see if I can muster up the balls to ask her out.
tl;dr I've been a sexually satisfied dude the past 13 months and tomorrow I'm gonna do something I haven't done since 2009.
As with everything lengthy that I write, I refuse to reread this before I post it. So. Have fun.
"boys really do suck. but don't worry boo, I'll treat you right" - text from nico after my birthday
check out this suave fuck ^ jokes. go get 'er, son!!
Post by potentpotables on Jun 23, 2015 16:45:15 GMT -5
So how do you tell if you're being flirted with while she's working? I've never been able to tell. I can't go out with my dad anymore because he tries to hook me up with every waitress we ever have. In fact, he remembers it weeks after the fact (he doesn't remember anything which is why my cell ends in 5555) and says something like "hey, did blondie ask for you when you were at ____?". He's also not a feminist.
My general rule of thumb for whether a waitress is flirting is "she's not". Is is possible I'm wrong?
This girl in my office has been trying real hard to be my work wife for weeks and I finally gave in today. There aren't any sparks from my perspective but I needed a work wife. It's as close as I get to flirting these days.
I'm gonna try not to ramble, but I make no promises. I haven't been in a relationship since towards the end of 2010, which is to say I've never really been even remotely close to an adult relationship since I had just graduated high school when I was in my last relationship. Over the past several years I haven't been desirous of one because I'm pretty good at being single. My irreverence serves my personality well and the summer after I graduated college I slept with 7 different women, so that aspect was never an issue. None of those situations led anywhere that I wanted them to, however, post-sex. I'm still friends with four of them, two of which are my roommates, both of which have boyfriends and one of which I was in a threesome with at 4am one time, another I only see rarely and things are cordial, the last I see pretty regularly and she tells people that I'm her best friend and she has all but admitted her love for me on several occasions. She started crying uncontrollably when I told her we couldn't sleep together anymore a few months ago. Anyway. Holy fucking a, that's a lot. I guess I'm just giving you all the background information on where I'm coming from in this newfound situation I've found myself in. I already hate how this anecdote is gonna start and I know myself so I can't state it any other way so here goes: So there's this waitress. She works at the bar at the end of my street that I'm something of a regular at. She's been smiling at me and getting me hamburgers with a fried egg and pineapple on them for two years now. A couple weeks ago I went over to Sporty's (the name of the bar, obviously you guys) to watch what must have been Game 2 of Warriors v. Cavs. The second I walk through the door of the bar she practically ran up to me and asked, "Did I see you at a concert a couple weeks ago?" She wasn't working at the time, she was wearing this nice, unassuming, sort of salmon colored blouse and I had absolutely no idea who she was when she started talking. I was so caught off guard that my brain short-circuited and refused to make any of those all-important neural connections that allow people the convenience of facial recognition. While I let my mind reel to attempt to come up with some sort of answer as to why she looked so familiar, I responded to her question simply by saying, or perhaps more accurately, muttering, "Probably." I'm usually smooth in situations of this nature, but she saw right through me and before we got to the subject at hand, she explained very briefly that she's waited on me like 100 times and she brings me hamburgers with pineapple on them and that she calls me "Pineapple Guy." The second she said the word "waited" I figured it out. Fucking genius, am I right? Anyway, I'm getting bored of telling this non-story. Apparently she went to the same Lady Lamb concert I went to and she asked me if I went because a friend brought me and I told her I had listened to her prior and she got really excited that I wasn't just a tag-along and that I was actually a fan of her music and that's the reason I went. We talked about how good After is, but then her friend grabbed her and essentially walked her away from me. I learned her name is Kelly and that she works Wednesday and Friday lunch shifts. I've been really into this girl for the past two years and I've always been too nervous to do anything about it because hitting on someone while they're working sounds like a fucking nightmare. So. Tomorrow I'm gonna go in and ask her when she gets off (and then I'll really quickly interject and say later tonight, ayeeee) and then come back later and see if I can muster up the balls to ask her out.
tl;dr I've been a sexually satisfied dude the past 13 months and tomorrow I'm gonna do something I haven't done since 2009.
As with everything lengthy that I write, I refuse to reread this before I post it. So. Have fun.
i used to relentlessly hit on the girl who served me beer. she hated every minute of it and on more than one occasion had me thrown out of the bar. it took me about a year, but i finally won her over enough to go back out with me (we'd dated previously for a hot minute and then I pulled an asshole college dude move).
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
So how do you tell if you're being flirted with while she's working? I've never been able to tell. I can't go out with my dad anymore because he tries to hook me up with every waitress we ever have. In fact, he remembers it weeks after the fact (he doesn't remember anything which is why my cell ends in 5555) and says something like "hey, did blondie ask for you when you were at ____?". He's also not a feminist.
My general rule of thumb for whether a waitress is flirting is "she's not". Is is possible I'm wrong?
As someone who used to work in a kitchen and knew the waitresses, I'd say yeah generally they're just putting up the kind facade to make more tips. But I'd say me thinking that she might be into me makes more sense that she made such an effort to talk to me when she was off the clock and just a regular woman. Your rule of thumb is probably a smart one.
I'm gonna try not to ramble, but I make no promises. I haven't been in a relationship since towards the end of 2010, which is to say I've never really been even remotely close to an adult relationship since I had just graduated high school when I was in my last relationship. Over the past several years I haven't been desirous of one because I'm pretty good at being single. My irreverence serves my personality well and the summer after I graduated college I slept with 7 different women, so that aspect was never an issue. None of those situations led anywhere that I wanted them to, however, post-sex. I'm still friends with four of them, two of which are my roommates, both of which have boyfriends and one of which I was in a threesome with at 4am one time, another I only see rarely and things are cordial, the last I see pretty regularly and she tells people that I'm her best friend and she has all but admitted her love for me on several occasions. She started crying uncontrollably when I told her we couldn't sleep together anymore a few months ago. Anyway. Holy fucking a, that's a lot. I guess I'm just giving you all the background information on where I'm coming from in this newfound situation I've found myself in. I already hate how this anecdote is gonna start and I know myself so I can't state it any other way so here goes: So there's this waitress. She works at the bar at the end of my street that I'm something of a regular at. She's been smiling at me and getting me hamburgers with a fried egg and pineapple on them for two years now. A couple weeks ago I went over to Sporty's (the name of the bar, obviously you guys) to watch what must have been Game 2 of Warriors v. Cavs. The second I walk through the door of the bar she practically ran up to me and asked, "Did I see you at a concert a couple weeks ago?" She wasn't working at the time, she was wearing this nice, unassuming, sort of salmon colored blouse and I had absolutely no idea who she was when she started talking. I was so caught off guard that my brain short-circuited and refused to make any of those all-important neural connections that allow people the convenience of facial recognition. While I let my mind reel to attempt to come up with some sort of answer as to why she looked so familiar, I responded to her question simply by saying, or perhaps more accurately, muttering, "Probably." I'm usually smooth in situations of this nature, but she saw right through me and before we got to the subject at hand, she explained very briefly that she's waited on me like 100 times and she brings me hamburgers with pineapple on them and that she calls me "Pineapple Guy." The second she said the word "waited" I figured it out. Fucking genius, am I right? Anyway, I'm getting bored of telling this non-story. Apparently she went to the same Lady Lamb concert I went to and she asked me if I went because a friend brought me and I told her I had listened to her prior and she got really excited that I wasn't just a tag-along and that I was actually a fan of her music and that's the reason I went. We talked about how good After is, but then her friend grabbed her and essentially walked her away from me. I learned her name is Kelly and that she works Wednesday and Friday lunch shifts. I've been really into this girl for the past two years and I've always been too nervous to do anything about it because hitting on someone while they're working sounds like a fucking nightmare. So. Tomorrow I'm gonna go in and ask her when she gets off (and then I'll really quickly interject and say later tonight, ayeeee) and then come back later and see if I can muster up the balls to ask her out.
tl;dr I've been a sexually satisfied dude the past 13 months and tomorrow I'm gonna do something I haven't done since 2009.
As with everything lengthy that I write, I refuse to reread this before I post it. So. Have fun.
Summary: I fuck a lot of girls. I'm going to fuck the waitress at my local bar soon.
I'm gonna try not to ramble, but I make no promises. I haven't been in a relationship since towards the end of 2010, which is to say I've never really been even remotely close to an adult relationship since I had just graduated high school when I was in my last relationship. Over the past several years I haven't been desirous of one because I'm pretty good at being single. My irreverence serves my personality well and the summer after I graduated college I slept with 7 different women, so that aspect was never an issue. None of those situations led anywhere that I wanted them to, however, post-sex. I'm still friends with four of them, two of which are my roommates, both of which have boyfriends and one of which I was in a threesome with at 4am one time, another I only see rarely and things are cordial, the last I see pretty regularly and she tells people that I'm her best friend and she has all but admitted her love for me on several occasions. She started crying uncontrollably when I told her we couldn't sleep together anymore a few months ago. Anyway. Holy fucking a, that's a lot. I guess I'm just giving you all the background information on where I'm coming from in this newfound situation I've found myself in. I already hate how this anecdote is gonna start and I know myself so I can't state it any other way so here goes: So there's this waitress. She works at the bar at the end of my street that I'm something of a regular at. She's been smiling at me and getting me hamburgers with a fried egg and pineapple on them for two years now. A couple weeks ago I went over to Sporty's (the name of the bar, obviously you guys) to watch what must have been Game 2 of Warriors v. Cavs. The second I walk through the door of the bar she practically ran up to me and asked, "Did I see you at a concert a couple weeks ago?" She wasn't working at the time, she was wearing this nice, unassuming, sort of salmon colored blouse and I had absolutely no idea who she was when she started talking. I was so caught off guard that my brain short-circuited and refused to make any of those all-important neural connections that allow people the convenience of facial recognition. While I let my mind reel to attempt to come up with some sort of answer as to why she looked so familiar, I responded to her question simply by saying, or perhaps more accurately, muttering, "Probably." I'm usually smooth in situations of this nature, but she saw right through me and before we got to the subject at hand, she explained very briefly that she's waited on me like 100 times and she brings me hamburgers with pineapple on them and that she calls me "Pineapple Guy." The second she said the word "waited" I figured it out. Fucking genius, am I right? Anyway, I'm getting bored of telling this non-story. Apparently she went to the same Lady Lamb concert I went to and she asked me if I went because a friend brought me and I told her I had listened to her prior and she got really excited that I wasn't just a tag-along and that I was actually a fan of her music and that's the reason I went. We talked about how good After is, but then her friend grabbed her and essentially walked her away from me. I learned her name is Kelly and that she works Wednesday and Friday lunch shifts. I've been really into this girl for the past two years and I've always been too nervous to do anything about it because hitting on someone while they're working sounds like a fucking nightmare. So. Tomorrow I'm gonna go in and ask her when she gets off (and then I'll really quickly interject and say later tonight, ayeeee) and then come back later and see if I can muster up the balls to ask her out.
tl;dr I've been a sexually satisfied dude the past 13 months and tomorrow I'm gonna do something I haven't done since 2009.
As with everything lengthy that I write, I refuse to reread this before I post it. So. Have fun.
Summary: I fuck a lot of girls. I'm going to fuck the waitress at my local bar soon.
I realized after I wrote it that the former section of that piece of writing made me seem like kind of a prick. But. I'm not gonna lie, I'd be completely down for that. I just wanna learn more about this girl. Expecting anything other than that at this point is just greedy.
edit. Calling my ramblings a "piece of writing" probably doesn't help me try to sound like less of a prick. I'm gonna go to work now.
as a 10-year vet of the restaurant industry, apparently I don't get hit on enough or don't realize I'm flirting. then again, I'm usually the "funny one" and generally the person people put in the friendzone due to that, soooo. my opinion is skewed.
if I actually might have interest in a customer and they gave me their number, I wouldn't be opposed. but that never happens and I've always had to pull the "sorry I'm in a relationship!!!" card with those who try.
as a 10-year vet of the restaurant industry, apparently I don't get hit on enough or don't realize I'm flirting. then again, I'm usually the "funny one" and generally the person people put in the friendzone due to that, soooo. my opinion is skewed.
I just caught (visual) feelings for the new hire we got while I was off for bonnaroo but I just put in my 2 weeks notice so yeah. also, was in love with this super cute, quiet girl that worked with us for like 6 months but I never made a move and she went to another job. story of my life. The fear of rejection is multiplied when you realize you will have to work with that person afterwards.
jokes. go get 'er, son!!
