Roo without your S/O

I've gone to several concerts, especially in Florida, without the wife. Down there, grandparents and relatives to watch, simply wasn't an option. Usually what we compromised on was swapping free time. I'd go to one festival or show, then she would go to another.

Really I don't know how long y'all have been together, or what kind of relationship you have, or the type of people you are. I know I feel better when my wife goes somewhere like roo without me, if she is with her friends.

Just be open, and don't push. If he says he is OK with it, jump in both feet. Constantly second guessing if he is OK with it is only going to stress your relationship more, and it'll ruin your good time while you're there.

I'm also not sure how old your kids are. We have a nine year old anda two year old. Both are to young, IMO, for bonnaroo debauchery. However, when my son hits 12 or 13, he is coming with.

Agree. I've been with the same person for 18 years and for us at least, trips without the other actually allow for new avenues of conversation. We don't do it often because there are too many times where I say "damn, I wish she were here to see this with me," but it always keeps things from getting stale as we have new things to talk about.

I agree with what the others have said.

I've been to 7 Bonnaroos. My wife's been to 0 and has no interest in going. I missed 2009 because we had a daughter graduating high school that Friday. A couple other times I arrived on Friday because of family commitments. We've been together for 25 years and get along great. But we have different interests and allow each other to enjoy those. She goes on golf and bicycle trips to offset my concert attendance. Being a couple doesn't mean you have to do everything together. It just means you have to try to be fair in balancing the burdens.

I went my first two year without Abra and left her at home with two kids. It was really her idea that I go to begin with. I had been lusting after the line-ups when they came out for a couple of years, but we weren't in a place where me going would be feasible due to the age of the kids and finances. In '09, we were sitting at a restaurant, and I was looking at the line-up poster talking about how many acts I wanted to see. She told me I should go with a friend I knew was going. She told me that I deserved 4 days off since I was working full time and then helping take care of the kids on my day off. The good-natured jealousy began after I came back and told her all about it and then when she saw the '10 line-up. In '11, the boys were old enough that she felt okay with coming too and since then, she has been able to go some by herself (Counterpoint, Bear Creek) while I stayed home with the boys. It was important for us to get things even as they could be. I think each person has to feel like they are getting needs/wants met, and one person isn't getting to do all the fun stuff. This year, we're both going to Roo, Mtn Oasis and Bear Creek (if we can swing the money aspect), and she wants to do Counterpoint, and I want to go to Hopscotch. Those aren't based off wanting alone time. We are just not interested in both festivals.

In short, like others said, if you are going to Roo and leaving him alone, try to find out what he wants to do and help that happen for him.

I went to Mt Jam, Bonnaroo, and Forecastle last year without the gf. In the case of the first two, I hadn't met her yet when I got tickets. In Forecastle, we were only dating for a month or so. I wished she could have come with me, but then she didn't have the income. Even now, she doesn't think it's a great idea to spend so much money on a weekend at a music festival. She's not into the music as much as me, but she will do Newport Folk with me because it's fairly close to home.

I went, but I talked with her a bunch while I was out and away.

Kind of related to the topic...I'm always torn on whether or not I want to bring a girl with me to Roo. Roo is a great time to meet new people and potentially new flings, and not bringing a significant other lets you have the freedom to do your own thing. That said, there have been a few times at Bonnaroo that I thought to myself "Man, I wish I had a girl I cared about to share this moment with me". So many incredible moments at Roo have transpired and unfortunately those memories will only be shared by myself and some flings I will probably never see again.

To be honest though, your girl probably would not have even made it to that moment with you, especially if she's not a bonnaroo vet. Bonnaroo chews you up abs spits you out your first time. I feel like you have to sacrifice when you are with a first timer and as much as I love being with Amanda, I have way more fun at festivals solo.

I guess it depends on the relationship. My wife and I arent together anymore but we both use to go do things whether it be a trip like going to Roo or going out with friends without the other person all the time. It was never even an issue. I would just be like, I want to go to this music festival, is there anything going on that weekend. If there were no conflicts, I would go and it would never been an issue. She did the same thing when there was stuff she wanted to go too.

My husband and I would probably get divorced if he went to Roo with me. He is not that into music, and he is definitely not into roughing it! Luckily for me, he doesn't have a problem with me doing my own thing. Last year was the first time I asked him what he thought about me going instead of telling him, only because it meant taking 2 of my 3 vacations with my sister, not him, and the money that involved. He didn't know why I was asking. I could imagine if we had kids though, it would be out of the question for him to stay home with them.

I gotta admit, this year is gonna be hard on that front. My gf is not really into crowds and is kinda shy (I know, Pondo dating a shy girl makes no sense right?) so it goes without saying she will not be going to Bonnaroo with me. She realizes that people will be coming up to me and saying hi and yelling Pondo or Flavor Flav (imagine that!) and she gets the whole Pondo Army thing, which she is a proud member, but anxiety around huge crowds plus the heat (she loves the AC!) will keep her home. I think she likes looking at the pictures of Bonnaroo as much if not more than I do.

We are going to go to Florida at the end of March for a few days to kind of have "our time" so it makes it a little easier. I call her during certain sets and it all goes down pretty well.

I actually wish i could persuade my wife to come but I'm glad she doesn't.

On one hand, I 'd love for her to create her own 'roo memories.

I think pretty much most of us on this board has had that magic moment where you realize how special this festival (and life in general) is. We all run the rat race the other 51 weeks of the year and suddenly the music, the heat, the mud and the thousands of like minded maniacs surrounding you are a bigger rush than almost any no no word...

OR, there could have been something in those brownies I ate that day

Anyway, I hope someday she gets the chance


She isn't high maintenance, but she doesn't share my passion for music. Without that passion, 'roo can be pretty uncomfortable after the first day. I think that's the key. I have visions of her spending most of the time in camp hot sweaty and cranky which would detract from my enjoyment big time.

It's Inforoo Madison.com.

Just make sure not to let any photos, of you flashing your tatas, hit the interwebs for him to see, and he'll be fine.

Nicoli, there is no better place to make new friends!