Whether it's your first Bonnaroo or you’re a music festival veteran, we welcome you to Inforoo.
Here you'll find info about artists, rumors, camping tips, and the infamous Roo Clues. Have a look around then create an account and join in the fun. See you at Bonnaroo!!
Can you just smile and nod until you get to Bonnaroo when she talks? My advice would be to do Tent Only and camp there and hook up with them afterward or something to that effect.
That's a great idea! One of my other apprehensions was that we wouldn't have enough room if we had 3 people and one car. This would take care of that, and I know he doesn't want to lug shit over to Tent Only. Question is, will there be space for me if I roll in Thursday morning? I'll just have a small tent and an EZ Up.
If I end up going alone, I'd probably just head down Wednesday night and go straight for Tent Only.
I did ACL with someone batshit crazy. I ditched the b!tch and did my own thing and had a great time. So I totally understand where you are coming from. I am also a selfish royal b!tch.
Be honest with the guy. If that doesn't work, make some new plans and new friends.
Oh so THAT'S why you ditched me. I'm cutting up the rainbow loom bracelet you gave me.
Welcome back Bonz, but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal.
I did ACL with someone batshit crazy. I ditched the b!tch and did my own thing and had a great time. So I totally understand where you are coming from. I am also a selfish royal b!tch.
Be honest with the guy. If that doesn't work, make some new plans and new friends.
Oh so THAT'S why you ditched me. I'm cutting up the rainbow loom bracelet you gave me. :(
How many times have you actually spent time with this person?
We've hung out a few times for about 3-4 hours, so maybe 15 hours total? Plus Facebook interactions, when she's even less tolerable (most people are less tolerable online, myself included). I've come to trust my instincts on these kinds of things, but I'm not perfect. Nobody is. I'll admit that there's a possibility she's a great person. Honestly, she's probably not a horrible person, but I think she does have some severe mental issues. That's really my concern, that she'll do something unpredictable that results in me missing a day, having to leave early, etc.
You guys are right. It's not worth ending a friendship over. If she must come along, I'll make the best of it. I'll try to spend some more time with just the three of us before we go, to try and get to know her better. I think my best bet is making the third wheel argument along with the "I don't think we'll have enough space with one car" argument. If that doesn't work, maybe I'll buy a ticket for a closer friend (the one I really wanted to go with in the first place) that can't afford it, and we'll have to split into two cars.
I don't think wanting your festival experience (which you're putting YOUR time and money into) to be unhindered by someone you don't like is selfish. I was in a similar position not that long ago - I had a friend who wanted to come but I wasn't sure if I wanted her there. I decided against it, and a couple weeks later I learned something made me say "Wow, I'm glad you trusted your instincts there." Quite honestly from what you've described, I wouldn't want your friend's gf camping with me either. You could even say something like "Bonnaroo is an intense experience, where you spend a lot of time in close proximity with one another in intense conditions. I don't know your girlfriend well enough to want to do that with her. I want to be around people I know I'll get along swimmingly with. Plus, I thought it was going to be a fun guys' vacation. As you and your girlfriend get closer and we each start our own lives, there are going to be less opportunities for that." This makes it less likely that your friend will take it as a personal affront about his new girlfriend, while also showing him that HE has a reason for her not to go with him. He wants her to go, obviously, but if you can show him why a trip with just you two might be the better choice for HIM, I think things might work out in your favor.
Last Edit: Apr 18, 2014 15:49:38 GMT -5 by Jaz - Back to Top
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Emoney serves more of a purpose than any of you, especially Nate, whose incessant, garbled ramblings are so mindless and pointless that I get depressed just seeing them.
I don't think wanting your festival experience (which you're putting YOUR time and money into) to be unhindered by someone you don't like is selfish. I was in a similar position not that long ago - I had a friend who wanted to come but I wasn't sure if I wanted her there. I decided against it, and a couple weeks later I learned something made me say "Wow, I'm glad you trusted you're instincts there." Quite honestly from what you've described, I wouldn't want your friend's gf camping with me either. You could even say something like "Bonnaroo is an intense experience, where you spend a lot of time in close proximity with one another in intense conditions. I don't know your girlfriend well enough to want to do that with her. I want to be around people I know I'll get along swimmingly with. Plus, I thought it was going to be a fun guys' vacation. As you and your girlfriend get closer and we each start our own lives, there are going to be less opportunities for that." This makes it less likely that your friend will take it as a personal affront about his new girlfriend, while also showing him that HE has a reason for her not to go with him. He wants her to go, obviously, but if you can show him why a trip with just you two might be the better choice for HIM, I think things might work out in your favor.
I concur. I don't see you as being selfish in a negative sense. I only do live music with people I trust completely, and people that are 100% committed to the experience. Even if this means someone could possibly be slightly annoying in the car ride there, I won't go with them.
I have had "the talk" with a lot of different people I go see shows with, which basically sums up to: "If you get arrested, I will not miss a minute of music to bail your stupid ass out of jail. Or, if you are doing something dangerous or recklessly illegal, I have no qualms about pulling over to the side of the road and leaving your ass there."
Similarly, if I ever have a money issue with someone, I'll never buy tickets for them again. So if I buy your ticket so we can all sit together, and then you can't make it and waffle about paying me for the ticket, or even tell me "first see what you can get in the lot for it then I'll pay you the difference," fuck you pay me. I calculate gas/tickets/hotel equitably before the trip, and all receivables are due the day we leave for the show. Before we even get in the car all the cash has changed hands, so we don't have that shit hanging over us during the trip.
Is this an asshole attitude? Yeah sure you bet, but I'd prefer to give people all the information they need upfront so they can determine if they are willing to put up with me to do live music. The end result is I have a core group of badass concert goers that love the experience, respect each other, take care of each other, and generally keep shit real.
It also means I go to a lot of live music alone. Because I tend not to try too hard to get "untried" live music buddies to do music with me. If someone has any doubts about spending 4 days in the TN heat, or any doubts about 30 hour round trips and multiple show runs, I'm not going to try and convince them.
Anyway, my whole point is don't feel bad about not wanting to spend your precious Bonnaroo experience with a psycho. Plenty of other good advice has been presented in here on how to handle it.
Can you just smile and nod until you get to Bonnaroo when she talks? My advice would be to do Tent Only and camp there and hook up with them afterward or something to that effect.
That's a great idea! One of my other apprehensions was that we wouldn't have enough room if we had 3 people and one car. This would take care of that, and I know he doesn't want to lug shit over to Tent Only. Question is, will there be space for me if I roll in Thursday morning? I'll just have a small tent and an EZ Up.
If I end up going alone, I'd probably just head down Wednesday night and go straight for Tent Only.
Thanks for all the advice, everyone.
Yes there would be room on Wednesday, and a good possibility there would still be room by Thursday morning (early).
I had a similar situation with a friend of mine who wanted to take his girl "last minute". I explained to her how hot it was and the pro's and cons of going (but yes, I REALLY played up the cons) and she decided THEY should not go (and made him sell his ticket. Yes you read that right).
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I don't think wanting your festival experience (which you're putting YOUR time and money into) to be unhindered by someone you don't like is selfish. I was in a similar position not that long ago - I had a friend who wanted to come but I wasn't sure if I wanted her there. I decided against it, and a couple weeks later I learned something made me say "Wow, I'm glad you trusted you're instincts there." Quite honestly from what you've described, I wouldn't want your friend's gf camping with me either. You could even say something like "Bonnaroo is an intense experience, where you spend a lot of time in close proximity with one another in intense conditions. I don't know your girlfriend well enough to want to do that with her. I want to be around people I know I'll get along swimmingly with. Plus, I thought it was going to be a fun guys' vacation. As you and your girlfriend get closer and we each start our own lives, there are going to be less opportunities for that." This makes it less likely that your friend will take it as a personal affront about his new girlfriend, while also showing him that HE has a reason for her not to go with him. He wants her to go, obviously, but if you can show him why a trip with just you two might be the better choice for HIM, I think things might work out in your favor.
I concur. I don't see you as being selfish in a negative sense. I only do live music with people I trust completely, and people that are 100% committed to the experience. Even if this means someone could possibly be slightly annoying in the car ride there, I won't go with them.
I have had "the talk" with a lot of different people I go see shows with, which basically sums up to: "If you get arrested, I will not miss a minute of music to bail your stupid ass out of jail. Or, if you are doing something dangerous or recklessly illegal, I have no qualms about pulling over to the side of the road and leaving your ass there."
Similarly, if I ever have a money issue with someone, I'll never buy tickets for them again. So if I buy your ticket so we can all sit together, and then you can't make it and waffle about paying me for the ticket, or even tell me "first see what you can get in the lot for it then I'll pay you the difference," fuck you pay me. I calculate gas/tickets/hotel equitably before the trip, and all receivables are due the day we leave for the show. Before we even get in the car all the cash has changed hands, so we don't have that shit hanging over us during the trip.
Is this an asshole attitude? Yeah sure you bet, but I'd prefer to give people all the information they need upfront so they can determine if they are willing to put up with me to do live music. The end result is I have a core group of badass concert goers that love the experience, respect each other, take care of each other, and generally keep shit real.
It also means I go to a lot of live music alone. Because I tend not to try too hard to get "untried" live music buddies to do music with me. If someone has any doubts about spending 4 days in the TN heat, or any doubts about 30 hour round trips and multiple show runs, I'm not going to try and convince them.
Anyway, my whole point is don't feel bad about not wanting to spend your precious Bonnaroo experience with a psycho. Plenty of other good advice has been presented in here on how to handle it.
Selfish B@stard.
You sound like someone I would want to go to shows with.
Post by ColdCruise on Apr 18, 2014 18:34:06 GMT -5
I've been in a similar situation before where I had a friend invite himself into the group going to Bonnaroo. He was an extremely annoying person, and we, his friends, didn't particularly care for his presence on a day to day basis. He always acted like he was your best friend, but would constantly argue about random bullshit even though he would know that he was completely wrong, wouldn't through in money for things and partake anyways, and had this look about his face that just made you want to punch it. It would be heaven to feel my knuckles press against his nose as the bone shatters and breaks away, then you feel his warm sticky blood on your fist. I get tingles just thinking about it. Also, he was secretly (not really) "madly in love" with everyone else's girlfriend. Well, anyways, he joins us for Roo, and it turned out pretty much all right. I had to see some shows that I had absolutely no interest in whatsoever, while missing some other things I would have enjoyed, and he wasn't particularly extra tolerable. The thing is, when I think back on my Roo experiences, I always remember how amazing and awe inspiring the performances were and not what my friends were going on about while we passed the time.
I've been in a similar situation before where I had a friend invite himself into the group going to Bonnaroo. He was an extremely annoying person, and we, his friends, didn't particularly care for his presence on a day to day basis. He always acted like he was your best friend, but would constantly argue about random bullshit even though he would know that he was completely wrong, wouldn't through in money for things and partake anyways, and had this look about his face that just made you want to punch it. It would be heaven to feel my knuckles press against his nose as the bone shatters and breaks away, then you feel his warm sticky blood on your fist. I get tingles just thinking about it. Also, he was secretly (not really) "madly in love" with everyone else's girlfriend. Well, anyways, he joins us for Roo, and it turned out pretty much all right. I had to see some shows that I had absolutely no interest in whatsoever, while missing some other things I would have enjoyed, and he wasn't particularly extra tolerable. The thing is, when I think back on my Roo experiences, I always remember how amazing and awe inspiring the performances were and not what my friends were going on about while we passed the time.
I liked the last part; can't co-sign on the nose crunch face punch, though.
Couldn't do two cars and just grab another person to head down with you? Two years ago I accidentally brought the person to Roo that no one at my site liked. My solution was to just basically go into Centeroo and play the "yeah I'll meet up with you guys later" game. Solves the issue of having to be in the car with her and you'll at least have another person with you that you can hang with when you've had enough of her shit. One con is that its less time with your friend, but honestly you have to strike the balance. If you bring up anything about it now, she'll get the information out of him -- no bueno. You'd also have another person to help you drag shit over to TO -- Pondo has the right idea on that one. And having been there -- the drive back is the worst part.
Just drink a bottle of Nyquil on the way there. That should help on the drive with her. When you get there do your own thing. Go to the inforoo brunch and meet some of your fellow infooroosters. There's a couple cool people here. Ya never know you just might meet your new best friend. There's so much to do and so little time don't let the man hold you back.
whoa whoa, way too much tylenol in a whole bottle before a weekend of drinking, drink a bottle of zzzquil instead
*these thoughts are my own and do not represent the views of any corporation. always read the label of all medications before using and take only the recommended dose
I've been in a similar situation before where I had a friend invite himself into the group going to Bonnaroo. He was an extremely annoying person, and we, his friends, didn't particularly care for his presence on a day to day basis. He always acted like he was your best friend, but would constantly argue about random bullshit even though he would know that he was completely wrong, wouldn't through in money for things and partake anyways, and had this look about his face that just made you want to punch it. It would be heaven to feel my knuckles press against his nose as the bone shatters and breaks away, then you feel his warm sticky blood on your fist. I get tingles just thinking about it. Also, he was secretly (not really) "madly in love" with everyone else's girlfriend. Well, anyways, he joins us for Roo, and it turned out pretty much all right. I had to see some shows that I had absolutely no interest in whatsoever, while missing some other things I would have enjoyed, and he wasn't particularly extra tolerable. The thing is, when I think back on my Roo experiences, I always remember how amazing and awe inspiring the performances were and not what my friends were going on about while we passed the time.
I liked the last part; can't co-sign on the nose crunch face punch, though.
Going to be at the Meshuggah show?
Haha. No. I'm a very laid back and restrained type of guy. Very easy going and a true born pacifist, but I'm telling you, man. I want to beat this guy's face in, but I can't because he's my friend for some reason. If you met the guy you would know.
Post by Jake Jortles on Apr 18, 2014 20:27:40 GMT -5
I don't find you to be selfish, but I do think you could be a cooler human here.
I briefly skimmed the last two pages so this may have been answered, but how much is actually going to change for you? You absolutely can't handle the car ride? You're going to be sooooo damn excited on the way there and so will they. I could ride along with nearly anyone in this situation. A lot of people carpool with complete randoms to Roo.
I think the minimal burden in this situation is going to fall on your friend. Hopefully, he has the presence of mind to not completely ignore you, but shit, even if he does you kinda get what you want. I felt held back in ways last year at Roo with my GF. I'm going to assume that she loves the outdoors and being up all night with little sleep. If not, your friend could be in for a few untimely escorts back to camp, arguments, etc... You're friend has more to navigate imo, you don't have to attach yourself to anyone for any amount of time while at Roo. You'll just end up doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm in a similar situation, but I just have the mindset that this awesome vacation is going to allow me to get the best out of anyone. Even if he's annoying it won't have a significant effect on my enjoyment. I'm going to be having too much fun to be worrying about if my friend's girlfriend is weird or has lied in the past.
Not the same situation as yours, but two of my best friends who couldn't stand each other all went to our first 'Roo in 2007. After that weekend those two became really good friends and we could all finally hang out together!
I would be very concerned about her ability to travel that far. It's not 'selfish' to think that she could sabotage the drive/never leave for roo in the first place. Unfortunately for now he is gonna pick her... I say plan and pack as if you are going alone, take 2 cars and have them follow you. Everyone's right that it'll be cool once you're there but ya gotta arrive! Good luck!!
Post by beavdog151 on Apr 19, 2014 13:22:40 GMT -5
You don't sound selfish, it's your friend that sounds selfish. He should've asked how you felt before inviting her. With that being said, if you could stomach her for the drive I think once you get to Roo just go your own way, maybe meeting up with them occasionally. The thing about Roo is there are so many cool, nice people that she'll probably make friends with others so I wouldn't worry too much about her annoying you, there are plenty of others to be annoyed. Some might actually enjoy her company, who knows. Personally I wouldn't bring up your dislike for her unless you enjoy drama. If your friend really likes her then that's what should matter. If she's really that horrible then don't hang out with them. If he asks why then let him know. I'm sure most of us has dealt with this or dated someone that sucks. I had a friend that hated the girl I dated, he was weird and just plain selfish. He never dated anybody so he wanted the bachelor lifestyle for all his friends. He even told me if I continued to date her he didn't want to hang out anymore. Needless to say we're not friends anymore.
Post by 773chicago on Apr 19, 2014 19:43:23 GMT -5
It's a big farm. I'd say at the very least have your own tent. Best case scenario would be to take two cars. There is always the possibility of a break-up if this is their first trip together.
Definitely don't stay in Nashville. That would be awful.
She might be more tolerable one on one. I've found that some people I can't stand in a group aren't so bad if it's a smaller crowd or just you and them. Sometimes people get all crazy and weird in a group of people especially if it is a lot of people they don't know.
Post by abrakapokus on Apr 20, 2014 18:25:53 GMT -5
I would bring your things and set up in tent only so they have their "space" as a couple. Hopefully she will get tired a lot or whatever and you can invite your friend to hang out at your tent.
I'm in a somewhat similar situation for a fest I'm going to next week. A big group of friends is going together and one person there gets on my nerves. I can tolerate this person, but I'm not spending my own money, time, and festival experience to battle negative vibes from the get go. I'm going to meet up with my friends when I can but I want my retreat away.
but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal. 
Because I tend not to try too hard to get "untried" live music buddies to do music with me. If someone has any doubts about spending 4 days in the TN heat, or any doubts about 30 hour round trips and multiple show runs, I'm not going to try and convince them.
