Cum one cum all: A thread about sex

Well I’m still telling you that you’re great, and it takes guts to be honest & share.

Really? Lady, that is sad. Because I know you, and like EAP and all the other gals I know on here you are smart, sexy as fuck, funny, successful, obviously into great music, adventurous, kind and fun as hell to be around. Losers. Dudes are lucky to have you even looking their way.

If we’re talking long term like over a year then out of 3, 2 were initiated by them. If we’re talking people who had a great impact then probably 4 more. But I like assertive women, not just with sex but in general.

Amazing!

Kyle's dad came at me in Moonlight Way on Yahoo, spewing our personal drama once, it had to be 1998 or 99. It was insane.

I'm actually friends with a bunch of those people still. I guess I'm about that internet friend life. 🤣

So excited to leave work and catch up on this thread.

I count vaginal or anal sex as sex, and that's what I used for my number (42). Heteronormative or not, that's what feels right to me and counting bjs feels like falsely inflating the number. Other views are totally valid, but for me sex is largely just short for sexual intercourse (which I consider anal to be a subset of).

The internet has obviously changed hooking up, and I see nothing wrong with directly communicating what you're looking for. Sending "Damn I wanna fuck you" as an opening message versus sending a few back and forth messages and mentioning you're just looking for something physical are two totally different scenarios. I have had literally hundreds of men send me pictures of their wiener with no opening line whatsoever, so tbf I'm fairly desensitized to that sort of thing, but there are completely respectful ways to let one's carnal intentions be known.

Any guy who loses interest in someone because it's "too easy" isn't looking for sex or a connection. They're looking to feed their own ego. Best to avoid those folks anyway.

I've had a couple Craigslist hookups but much prefer the apps. CL just felt sketchy.

I. Absolutely. Love. when women make the first move, esp with online dating. Dudes will swipe right on hundreds of women and get maybe one or two matches, then the expectation is generally on them to make a move. It's exhausting if you're at all attached to the outcome. I've generally heard the opposite to be true from many women - they get a lot more matches but have to wade through a bunch of duds (which is also exhausting). If a woman messages first then I know the interest is genuine and there's less pressure for me to be charming and smart and funny and kind and convey that all within two messages. Also messaging first indicates confidence, and confident women are hot. Women generally have been socialized to be diminutive and/or play hard to get - I have a tendency to find such women boring and I find no pleasure in "the chase". That's too much work, let's just bone.

yup so anecdotally/personally can serve as a secondary confirmation of this ^^ pretty sure any dude I've actually clicked with/gone onto have more than one date with who i met via online dating/apps (even if it didn't turn into anything serious or even lead to sex--but at least to a solid initial connection, good time together, etc.) were ones i messaged first.

so long as fairly attractive, as a female you're bound to get inundated with matches and messages, and honestly there have been times where i see a full inbox and just mass delete before even opening them. especially if i can see they mostly all start with, "how r u doing?" and "wow youre so sexi" kind of bullshit.  if i have enough interest to actually be the one to send a message to some stranger male on the internet, that isn't insignificant--because when all you've got is a few photos and brief profile to work with (more info given on OKC than the others which is why i mostly have just used that the past few years when i dip back into online dating), alongside a constant stream of not-so-great prospects aggressively sending messages, it can all be rather overwhelming. most times i go back onto apps, it isnt for long because of said overwhelm.

if i message first to a guy, it means there is enough there in that profile that makes me feel cautiously optimistic i might genuinely click with him--and i just don't feel that all too often when swiping through strangers on an app (#DemisexualProblems though too).

I have two ads back to back on my feed on Facebook: Dateline and Frederick's of Hollywood. I blame you all.

need my dick and balls sucked by a freak fr‼️

raises hand.


I also took a break from this thread yesterday, but I would say that even some of the "traditionally" good looking people have self-esteem issues concerning their appearance.  I also didn't want to center a conversation around my own lack of self-confidence when approaching this conversation - but like LD said connection/intimacy can be a huge part of what works for someone, and getting back on your feet after something big can take months/years.  I still haven't.   

I'm also really more shy than I seem, and when it comes to talking about sex I'm like an open bottle or I completely closed off vessel.  

I heard this in your sassiest voice, and I love it.

When I moved back to RVA, I was using CL a lot. Jobs, furniture, concert tickets .. I found everything on there. The one thing I wasn’t expecting was I met my wife on CL. She’s absolutely the second best thing I’ve ever gotten on there.

She knows my feelings. I found my first apartment in Richmond on CraigsList. It was an old Marshmallow factory from the 1930’s that had been renovated into apartments.

Sex is great and all but have you ever lived in a place that smelled like marshmallows all the time?

My ex last night: So, what was that pity party on Facebook this morning all about?


And this is why I usually keep things to myself. God forbid I have feelings about anything.

from a friend, at this point, just tell her anything (cogent) that comes to mind about these things.  It's not healthy to bottle up or pretend about it - because it'll just come out in another wave of emotion and flare.  If you are feeling and experiencing trauma or re-examining it; just start releasing that pressure or it'll just build up and lead to shitter consequences