Whether it's your first Bonnaroo or you’re a music festival veteran, we welcome you to Inforoo.
Here you'll find info about artists, rumors, camping tips, and the infamous Roo Clues. Have a look around then create an account and join in the fun. See you at Bonnaroo!!
Post by msfelithatsme on Jul 30, 2007 13:48:17 GMT -5
well i know some of you might have read my posts a long time ago about moving across the country to arizona to be with this boy, and work a job.
well i did it. and when i arrived.. thats the moment he decided to tell me that he doesnt think he could be in a relationship. of course we were just going to see what woudl happen. and we were going to test the possibility of us being together.. but if he has decided he doesnt want to commit to someone.. well then we cant test anything. you cant get into the closet before you open the bedroom door. if that makes any sense.
soo. i was shocked. i am shocked. he lives in a little town in the middle of nowhere. i would know no one other than him. i had a job teaching 4th grade starting in a few days. but i had to leave. i booked a last minute flight and flew right on out of there. i feel terrible about quitting the job (through email, i can't get myself to call). but i feel worse about everything else. i gave up my apartment in manhattan, resigned from my teaching position in nyc, sold and gave away all my stuff, and spent all my money on the move.
now here i am .. 25 years old and sitting im my parents house in florida. the school year is approaching and i feel like i am in no emotional state to make another decision. after all.. i just spent 3 months getting excited and ready to move in with someone who liked me in the same way i liked him. and the worst thing.. he made no attempt to show me that he would be in ANY WAY affected by my decision to not stay and see how things would work. which makes me realize that he really wouldnt want to try and work things out.
wow. talk about feeling like the rug beneath you has been pulled out...
OMG - you want us to go hunt him down and beat him up for you honey? that is just not right - I mean - come on - how many times in the last 3 months could he have said something - that is just wrong of him to allow you to uproot yourself -
Last Edit: Jul 30, 2007 14:00:50 GMT -5 by Meg - Back to Top
Post by wellbalancedmusic on Jul 30, 2007 14:11:34 GMT -5
I will be glad to drive eneyone that wants to go and give the SOB a royle thrashing. It is subhumans like him that give men in general a bad name. Keep your thought as positive as you can right now. We are here with alot of shoulders to cry on, ears to bend and friendship to offer.
Post by mytwitewesties on Jul 30, 2007 15:43:02 GMT -5
Hey msfelith, I think what happened is terrible. I applaud your courage in uprooting all you had established for the love of a guy. But you say it in your post, he is a boy. Boys are not men.
If your parents are cool with it, chill a little bit in FL, but don't stay too long! Get yourself together and decide what is next for you. If you want to teach, do it. I bet you could get something local there in FL for a temporary stay or work as a sub. If you decide it is not teaching but something else that you want to take on - do it! You've proven you can take a risk and a big one. Do that while you are still young. Yeah what the guy did sucks. But it is a reflection of how much he doesn't know himself. I remember being young and insecure. I would think I had something going and then I would listen to my fear or hear the cheap talk of someone else and take it to heart. There are women who I would have had a wonderful life with if I had the courage to face my fears, but I didn't and chickened out and it took longer than it should have for me to recognize that sometimes we get to trust ourselves and take a leap. It doesn't always work out as you have so horribly learned. Sometimes it does. I've been married for 22 years now.
My heart goes out to you. Beating the schmuck up won't do anything. He has got to be doing that to himself by now (that comes with being a dumb ass). Just remember this - his loss. Time to heal and move on sister. Be strong. Be the powerful woman you are.
This might seem callous to say but in the long run I'm sure you'll find he did you a favor. Rather find out now than slowly sinking into a deeper misery with a job and other commitments that are harder to get out of (though of course, he could have told you even earlier).
Post by elusiveboz on Jul 30, 2007 16:08:16 GMT -5
sorry it happen that way because i remember you saying something about this before roo and sounded so happy.always remember real life karma... one day he will wake up and his balls will drop down and he will kick his self in the ass for having you pack up move to him and then breaking it off with you as soon as you got there. karma will get his ass 10 fold.. JUST COME TO MISSISSIPPI WE NEED GOOD TEACHERS HERE
This word also has a underground meaning once you break it down. Let’s take “Bonn” for example and it actually turns into the word “Bone”. We all know gays use this word to describe the action of when they are fecal fisting their Cuban cabana boy at their sex bath house parties. Now let’s look at Roo, “Roo” is short for “Kangaroo”.So put the full true message together and you get“Bone a Kangaroo
Man, what a D!%k. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Just remember you're better off. Chill a bit and recover. And think of what you want to do with your life. This could be your chance to move somewhere you've always wanted to move or rearrange your life for the better.
Post by sparklybecca on Jul 30, 2007 17:14:43 GMT -5
oh and like everyone else said, this could be a GOOD THING! everythin happens for a reason, maybe you will find somewhere else to go - you are young - let yourself explore for a while!! maybe do teach for america, go wherever they place you..(maybe not just thinking out loud) p.s. where in fl are you?
andddd karma when i can, for gettin through it STRONGLY.
*i like coconuts, you can break them open they smell like ladies lyin in the sun** *Hell I don't even know where I am** *for now I must sit here and ponder the yonder: The herbivores did well cause their food didn't never run** *We listen, if it feels good We shake** *You made a big impression for a girl of your size, Now I can't get by without you and your big brown eyes.**
What a douchetard...sorry to hear the guy screwed you over like that.
Glad to hear you have a family to fall back on though. It's good to have those people in our lives that will be there for us and are reliable. And it sounds like you're a perfectly capable person who'll bounce back once the initial shock wears off. Here's to your professional life and love life bouncing back in the near future and to that dickwad learning his lesson about leading on people with lives of their own.
What a scum bag. Remember that his actions will set him up for a fall. And remember . Everywhere needs teachers. Get some cash together, pick a place and go.
Post by msfelithatsme on Jul 31, 2007 9:11:05 GMT -5
awww... i can't thank you guys enough. Your words have definitley made me feel like he really is the one who ruined this whole thing. Of course I can't help but be angry at myself for actually pulling through with it and going. And uprooting my life. But when I told him my concerns about the risk on us and the pressure on us.. he was nothing but encouraging that I come. And so I figured how could I not go under circumstances such as these?
Over and over again I just keep reminding myself how much honesty is needed in relationship. In friendships. In life. He had ONE thing to think about. That was that I was moving there. I had a ton of other things to think about.. moving, leaving friends, moving further from family, resigning from my job, him.. The least he could have done was be honest.
When i told him that he shouldve told me before I came.. he said he didnt know before. That he only knew about 48 hours before. I was like THAT IS BEFORE I ARRIVED! When he made me feel guilty about quitting the teaching job.. i was like.. how could i stay? He responded that he thought i wanted an adventure. And he guesses our idea of an adventure is different. Uhmm. .. sorry.. my idea of an adventure isnt spreading my emotions flat across the table and allowing someone else to walk all over them. An adventure is NOT living with someone you like.. who gave you all the signals back that they liked y ou.. and that now they cant even say one thing to show they are affected. It would have been unhealthy to stay. I would have constantly been reaching for something from him. Of course after he smacked me in the face.. there was no way i could stay.. even if i could have.
I am hoping that deep down he realizes that what he did was cruel. He gave me no impression that he did. He said he was sorry.. but he was selfish.
The principal wrote me back and he is pissed. Rightfully so. He has to report me to the Arizona State Board of Ed for signing and breaking a contract. Part of me.. is like wow... maybe i should have stayed.. really all i have now is what i set out to have there.. which is a place to live and a job. BUt being it was a mine town.. and no one in the town but him.. i truely couldnt have stayed. I would have ended up quitting in the middle of the year and that is worse. maybe i would have fallen in love with him.. either way.. MAAAAANNNNN... what a bad situation.
Im not ready to go back to work. And so i have no clue where i will stay.. FLorida or NY.
Thanks again for all of your responses. They have helped.
edit: Becca: I am in West Palm Beach, FL right now. poopzilla (hahah what a funny name to type) to answer your is there anything you can do? -- the answer is yes. if you could manage to support me by giving me thousands of dollars a year so i can travel and not work. Well then thats a huge help!
I am so sorry that happened to you. As for the State of Arizona, my mom was a teacher in MD for a couple decades and the states never seem to talk with one another about previous experiences so it shouldn't hurt your future. And if it does come up in an interview, jsut state that a family emergency happened (you are your own family, and this was an emergency situation).
Staying wouldn't have been good for anyone, not even your students because you would have been miserable.
Take some time to think. I believe situations happen for a reason to make us take another look at ourselves and our life and possibly go down a different path. This may be life telling you to try something new.
keep us updated on how you are doing - we're all here for you!
Sounds like he didn't think you'd actually do all that, and when you were staring him in the face, he panicked. I'm so so sorry you went through all that. I hope you find your way somehow. *big hugs*
We treat mishaps like sinking ships and I know that I don't want to be out to drift Well I can see it in your eyes like I taste your lips and They both tell me that we're better than this
Post by poopzilla33 on Jul 31, 2007 13:49:59 GMT -5
msfelithatsme said:
poopzilla (hahah what a funny name to type) to answer your is there anything you can do? -- the answer is yes. if you could manage to support me by giving me thousands of dollars a year so i can travel and not work. Well then thats a huge help!
haha if i wasnt thousands of dollars in debt i'd help you out i promise
Post by bamadancer on Jul 31, 2007 14:53:45 GMT -5
Well, I agree with everyone else. Take this time to do something you've always wanted to do. Get out and adventure. See new things, experience new places, and have fun. HE is the one obviously missing out on what could've been a great future. I would gladly go kick his ass, but I'm instead just sending him bad vibes. Haha.
If you're looking for jobs in the South...Alabama is always in need of teachers, so is Mississippi, and I've heard Georgia hires teachers over the phone (they also have really good benefits/pay there).
Hey, think positively...at least now you're closer to Roo!
Post by msfelithatsme on Jul 31, 2007 16:20:11 GMT -5
hahah.. thanks guys. im still confused as to what i will do. i grew up in new york and that is where all my friends are.
my family is down here in florida. this is the internal struggle i always have in my life. its like i can never truely be happy in either place because im missing something.
since im 25 i still feel like i want to live somewhere where i can be social. so thats a plus for nyc. altho i wasnt completely happy there either.
i hate to feel like i have this invisible timeline on life. like i cant "waste" a year. like if i dont teach this year i am totally doing the wrong thing. at this point i can think of pros and cons for both places. but i dont know what to do. ive been on the couch in my parents house for days now. of course it doesnt help that besides being sick over all this.. i actually somehow got sick. prolly from the 4 planes in 30 hours thing.
If you don't teach it doesn't mean you're wasting a year. You can substitute some or tutor some or get active in some org. of some kind. You may find something while bouncing around that's perfect for you.
