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My mom is hosting a family get-together next weekend. She's told the gf and I multiple times about it, over the last month or two.
Her sister and sister's husband are coming up from Florida. They're both pastors with some rather horrid world views. I've hated my aunt/her husband for decades, and my gf wants nothing to do with them either. My gf has two gay uncles, my aunt is wicked homophobic.
We should skip the party, right?
Are there other people there that you would like to see? Would it be possible to go and avoid your aunt and uncle? Would you feel compelled to make a scene if your aunt or uncle said something gross? Would you feel bad about it if you did?
My mom is hosting a family get-together next weekend. She's told the gf and I multiple times about it, over the last month or two.
Her sister and sister's husband are coming up from Florida. They're both pastors with some rather horrid world views. I've hated my aunt/her husband for decades, and my gf wants nothing to do with them either. My gf has two gay uncles, my aunt is wicked homophobic.
We should skip the party, right?
No. Brush up on some Bible passages and destroy them for their hate and division.
My mom is hosting a family get-together next weekend. She's told the gf and I multiple times about it, over the last month or two.
Her sister and sister's husband are coming up from Florida. They're both pastors with some rather horrid world views. I've hated my aunt/her husband for decades, and my gf wants nothing to do with them either. My gf has two gay uncles, my aunt is wicked homophobic.
We should skip the party, right?
Are there other people there that you would like to see? Would it be possible to go and avoid your aunt and uncle? Would you feel compelled to make a scene if your aunt or uncle said something gross? Would you feel bad about it if you did?
1. Maybe another aunt, but that's about it
2. It almost seems unavoidable, though I would hope to keep as much space and distance as possible.
3/4. I'm tempted to say something, though it's also out of my nature to be really confrontational. My mom would be pissed off if I went too far out of line. My gf would just flat out leave if they said something bad.
There's also the eventual battle about if/when the gf and I get married - we don't want them invited and we know my mom will invite her whole family anyway.
Are there other people there that you would like to see? Would it be possible to go and avoid your aunt and uncle? Would you feel compelled to make a scene if your aunt or uncle said something gross? Would you feel bad about it if you did?
1. Maybe another aunt, but that's about it
2. It almost seems unavoidable, though I would hope to keep as much space and distance as possible.
3/4. I'm tempted to say something, though it's also out of my nature to be really confrontational. My mom would be pissed off if I went too far out of line. My gf would just flat out leave if they said something bad.
There's also the eventual battle about if/when the gf and I get married - we don't want them invited and we know my mom will invite her whole family anyway.
Unless it’s the only chance you’re going to have to see that one other aunt or you just feel like taking a stand, I’d probably blow it off. Life's too short to spend it doing shit you really don’t want to do.
I’d also encourage you to stand your ground come wedding time. I’m shockingly unsentimental, and things like weddings mean little to me, but I believe that if you’re going to have one, you should enjoy it. It shouldn’t be about obligation and putting yourself into uncomfortable positions to make other people happy. It’s not their day. That’s not to say you can’t accommodate people if accommodating them would suit you both (I had two weddings because my grandmother didn’t want to fly, but we couldn’t get a marriage license in time to make the one near her legal). But don’t let them steamroller you into doing shit that’s likely to create bad memories of what should be a good day. (For the record, I am a very non-confrontational person as well, but my grandmother tried to get me to invite someone to my wedding that I didn’t want there, and I had to tell her no. I’m really glad I did.)
2. It almost seems unavoidable, though I would hope to keep as much space and distance as possible.
3/4. I'm tempted to say something, though it's also out of my nature to be really confrontational. My mom would be pissed off if I went too far out of line. My gf would just flat out leave if they said something bad.
There's also the eventual battle about if/when the gf and I get married - we don't want them invited and we know my mom will invite her whole family anyway.
Unless it’s the only chance you’re going to have to see that one other aunt or you just feel like taking a stand, I’d probably blow it off. Life's too short to spend it doing shit you really don’t want to do.
I’d also encourage you to stand your ground come wedding time. I’m shockingly unsentimental, and things like weddings mean little to me, but I believe that if you’re going to have one, you should enjoy it. It shouldn’t be about obligation and putting yourself into uncomfortable positions to make other people happy. It’s not their day. That’s not to say you can’t accommodate people if accommodating them would suit you both (I had two weddings because my grandmother didn’t want to fly, but we couldn’t get a marriage license in time to make the one near her legal). But don’t let them steamroller you into doing shit that’s likely to create bad memories of what should be a good day. (For the record, I am a very non-confrontational person as well, but my grandmother tried to get me to invite someone to my wedding that I didn’t want there, and I had to tell her no. I’m really glad I did.)
I second ALL of this. And as someone that eloped and disappointed/ruffled feathers, fuck them. Your day, your life, you need to live and enjoy it in a manner that makes you and your S.O. happy.
My mom is hosting a family get-together next weekend. She's told the gf and I multiple times about it, over the last month or two.
Her sister and sister's husband are coming up from Florida. They're both pastors with some rather horrid world views. I've hated my aunt/her husband for decades, and my gf wants nothing to do with them either. My gf has two gay uncles, my aunt is wicked homophobic.
We should skip the party, right?
It kinda sounds like you should have some other unmissable plans that day. Personally at this point I welcome confrontations with friends and family if they are hateful/bigoted/racist/Trump supporters. I don’t need y’all to be a part of my life. I’m not usually a confrontational person, but I’m sick of that shit and it needs to end.
My mom is hosting a family get-together next weekend. She's told the gf and I multiple times about it, over the last month or two.
Her sister and sister's husband are coming up from Florida. They're both pastors with some rather horrid world views. I've hated my aunt/her husband for decades, and my gf wants nothing to do with them either. My gf has two gay uncles, my aunt is wicked homophobic.
We should skip the party, right?
i vote skip.
my question is what reason do you give your mom for skipping? truth or lie?
Post by heyyitskait on Aug 13, 2019 8:04:37 GMT -5
Skip it, LD. Tell your mom the truth about why you guys won’t be there. She’ll be upset, but mom deserves honesty.
Also, don’t invite people to the wedding if you don’t want them there. Your wedding day is about you and your partner. Surround yourself with people that love and support you and celebrate it.
5.5/four tet, daphni b2b floating points, avalon emerson 5.12/neil young 5.19/mannequin pussy 5.21/serpentwithfeet 5.25/hozier 6.12-16/bonnaroo 6.28/goose 6.29/goose 9.17/the national + the war on drugs 9.23/sigur ros 9.27-29/making time 10.17/air
Post by Gnocrabster on Aug 13, 2019 12:44:09 GMT -5
The worst part of having consistent nightmares for years...
when you don't have close friends to call or a partner anymore, partly because of said violent depression and anxiety, you can't share with your own family about it. Why you are not showering and not taking care of yourself, slowly becoming an alcoholic, and burnt every piece of credit you have left for the last two years. It's an impossible task. And lead's to impossible outcomes when all they say is "things will get better".
You've been saying that for my entire fucking life. It doesn't always get better. PERIOD
Post by Gnocrabster on Aug 13, 2019 12:45:48 GMT -5
I'm also probably getting evicted in 16 days unless I come up with 2k some how. Have been relentlessly looking for work and have hit .000 the entire last two months. Call me crazy but maybe I'm just at a fucking breaking point.
I have currently been out of work for almost two weeks now. I had a job lined up but it got pushed. It's supposed to start next week if everything goes as planned. I am all over the paperwork and will be hired once the freeze is over. I am in an ok place, but the stress got me last night and I had a couple panic attacks in the middle of the night which caused me not to sleep.
I officially filed for unemployment and put out my graphic design resume. I would honestly rather just temp or bartend somewhere until work comes back. I just hope it doesn't get pushed back again, or for much longer. Did I mention I am stressing the fuck out? Oh, or that my laptop decided to do some crazy shit and "broke?" Luckily I have Kyle's laptop to use until he can fix mine. I spent a whole day trying to fix it but apparently it is above my pay grade (my pay grade is pretty fucking high), which is even more frustrating. thejeremy who is also very good with computers, tried to fix it without luck. For the first time since Kyle was born, I felt truly depressed. I am not 100% or even close yet, but I don't feel like the world is better off without me anymore so at least there is that.
I know work will come and I have a computer so it is not the end all be all, I just... I don't know. Needed to get it out there, I guess.
I have currently been out of work for almost two weeks now. I had a job lined up but it got pushed. It's supposed to start next week if everything goes as planned. I am all over the paperwork and will be hired once the freeze is over. I am in an ok place, but the stress got me last night and I had a couple panic attacks in the middle of the night which caused me not to sleep.
I officially filed for unemployment and put out my graphic design resume. I would honestly rather just temp or bartend somewhere until work comes back. I just hope it doesn't get pushed back again, or for much longer. Did I mention I am stressing the fuck out? Oh, or that my laptop decided to do some crazy shit and "broke?" Luckily I have Kyle's laptop to use until he can fix mine. I spent a whole day trying to fix it but apparently it is above my pay grade (my pay grade is pretty fucking high), which is even more frustrating. thejeremy who is also very good with computers, tried to fix it without luck. For the first time since Kyle was born, I felt truly depressed. I am not 100% or even close yet, but I don't feel like the world is better off without me anymore so at least there is that.
I know work will come and I have a computer so it is not the end all be all, I just... I don't know. Needed to get it out there, I guess.
Update: I ended up going to that family thing. My aunt and uncle were pleasant. Party was boring as hell, as expected, and we left after a couple hours.
Post by Gnocrabster on Aug 31, 2019 13:01:19 GMT -5
What actually kills you is the lack of contact and intimacy. Long enough and your heart turns to darkness.
I can't get on the level with all the happy people around me, in their solid relationships - successful careers - and general ability to be fine all the time (or at least what they constantly display). Some of us are dying inside and have been for a long time. I don't know how to relate with people who tell you, "just get over it" "you are not alone" but then I can count the days alone at night. The mornings waking up with fucked up thoughts and memories that you can't have closure on and you are supposed to "keep going". It just is inconsistent with logic and I know I'm a lesser human being, and that maybe some of us weren't supposed to make it this far. Success is king. Purpose is king. When you have neither what's the point?
I took my old inactive credit card by accident this morning and I have no way to buy lunch or get a bottle of water and I have a lab until 4. I’ve been here since 7:30. Fucccccck.
I took my old inactive credit card by accident this morning and I have no way to buy lunch or get a bottle of water and I have a lab until 4. I’ve been here since 7:30. Fucccccck.
I took my old inactive credit card by accident this morning and I have no way to buy lunch or get a bottle of water and I have a lab until 4. I’ve been here since 7:30. Fucccccck.
venmo a classmate?
It’s my first day of the semester, I don’t know anyone like that yet unfortunately
Google/Apple pay? Some places take paypal also. Hunger is a bitch, I hope you get some food.
Naw, none of the machines took Apple Pay, that was my first thought. Luckily since it was the first day we just did intros and my lab lasted 20 minutes, and I am now home with a roast beef sammich :-).
Went out to my car to go to work this morning to discover that some degenerate fuckhole sideswiped it so hard that it pushed the car up onto the curb, damaging not only all the driver's side panels but the steering system as well. Had to take a $40 Uber to get to work; I'm the only person available to open the doors on Monday so I couldn't even call out. My fingers are crossed they don't total this shit out because I'll likely end up upside-down on my loan if so.
I can't tell if I'm handling this really well or if there are defense mechanisms at play that are keeping me from feeling a degree of stress that would probably precipitate a full mental breakdown, but regardless I have enough perspective to recognize that it's just a material object, and this situation will hopefully be a distant memory in a few weeks' time. Just really concerned about how the money situation is gonna shake out.
5.5/four tet, daphni b2b floating points, avalon emerson 5.12/neil young 5.19/mannequin pussy 5.21/serpentwithfeet 5.25/hozier 6.12-16/bonnaroo 6.28/goose 6.29/goose 9.17/the national + the war on drugs 9.23/sigur ros 9.27-29/making time 10.17/air
The sound in our apt carries so much from the unit above us. We literally hear sneezes and coughs. Jack has even Shazam’d a song though the floor before just sitting in bed. We regularly here them having sex or fighting. Their phone alarm is the same as mine and has woken me up before.
It’s a Wednesday night and they came home at like 3am being SUPER loud in the stairway. That woke me up. Then they’ve been pacing and laughing and talking so loud it woke me up again at 5am and I haven’t been able to go back to sleep since. It’s now 7am and they just finally shut up. But it doesn’t matter now bc my alarm is going to go off in 15mins anyways bc I have to leave for work in an hour.
The most annoying thing is that they’re probably not being insanely loud since we hear everything at the best of times, but being all coked out and noisy at 3am on a Wednesday night / Thursday morning is insane. I should’ve went up and said something but I felt bitchy complaining when objectively I know how the sound carries in this place.
Oh, and it should be noted that I had the opening night of Cirque for work last night. Meaning I had a few drinks myself and didn’t get into bed until 1am. So we’re operating on a very hungover, maaaaaybe 2-ish hours of cumulative sleep today. I’m already annoyed.
Post by Gnocrabster on Oct 11, 2019 20:45:48 GMT -5
I have only talked about my issues on dates.. not with my friends, and my family just dips me in the pray it out to God-way. I'm worried I'm running into the ravine. If you are unhappy with your existence for too long - what is the consequence? You live for what other want you to live for. You can't find anything that makes you pleased or excited. You become a Zombie. I'd rather die than become a zombie. But I believe now I've been the walking dead for longer than I want to admit - but no one wanted to put me down.
Post by NothingButFlowers on Oct 15, 2019 13:44:00 GMT -5
I turned 40 this year, which means I’m due for another colonoscopy. And since we’ve met our insurance deductible, I need to have it before the end of the year. I shouldn’t complain because I’ve got insurance and access to preventative screenings, but also, I really don’t want to go do this and I’m already stressed about it and I haven’t even made an appointment yet.