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Just wondering if anyone ever cut ties with a buddy before. A good friend of mine recently cut ties with me cos i was an idiot and prolly did or said something to offend her. im sad and i miss my friend. we used to discuss bout music and stuff, i miss them all. How to mend ties, or is it even possible? I always thought good friends make mistakes, but they apologise and forgive each other. I might be wrong.
I did not speak to my bf for a year and a half. Stupid stuff got in the way and we both acted like children. We made up and fixed some of the problems. Sometimes you need a breather, but if you really value what you have, you find a way to fix it.
i do treasure this friendship alot and believe me i've tried almost everything to save this friendship. Christmas is coming, and it just makes me feel worse. Maybe i should wait for a few years and then try again.
Post by slorchiepoo on Dec 16, 2007 9:19:37 GMT -5
sometimes friends just grow apart. it doesn't mean that either of them love each other less, but the things that brought them together in the first place may not be as prevalent in either of their lives anymore, causing a natural breakaway from each other. my best friend and i have been going through this. she is doing different things in her life (positive things though) and i am still at home working a low level job, trying to get on my feet after some past mistakes (DUIs). meanwhile she is three hours away in a very hard architecture program at a university. we don't have as much in common as we used to. it hurts to feel that we are losing each other, but such is life.
Like Druid - I did not speak to my BF for over a year - we have recently begun talking again - although it is really nit the same - I have no desire to hang out with her on a constance everyday basis like it used to be but it is nice to be friends again - we have alot of history together
Ahem....but seriously....I have had experiences with two close friends, once caused by stupid insensitive crap, and one just the growing apart and natural ebb and flow stuff....both worked out in the end, though the growing apart is def harder. It really never is the same....but it can be good, jus different....
It just may need some time and distance....give her a little of both....for a Christmas present of sorts....
a few of my friends and i cut ties. and it sucks. I've tried to resolve our differences, but they don't seem to care enough. we're friends, but it just isn't the same as it was.
Thanks for all the replies. It's been like 4 months and i still can't get over it. Good friends are hard to comeby these days. I just hope that my friend will be happier without me being her friend. And hopefully time can heal the pain.....
Frienship are living things. They grow and change. It may be it's over.
But a couple months may not be enough time to resolve everything. Different people heal in different way and at different rates. It may be that she just needs more time to get over it. Stay in contact once a month or so but don't be pushy. Things will either come back together or get further apart. Either way you'll have time to adjust to the new situation.
I agree that good friends are hard to find and should not be readily let go. But you can't force friendship. Good Luck.
Post by slorchiepoo on Dec 17, 2007 10:49:13 GMT -5
amen to the comments above about good friends being hard to find. the older you get it seems the harder it is to find someone you click with...most people already have their circle of close friends and aren't really open to gaining new ones since as adults our lives are already so full (jobs, kids, spouses/partners, other responsibilities). it takes a lot of time and patience to get to know and love a new friend.
it takes a lot of time and patience to get to know and love a new friend.
and sometimes you find a friend and you realize almost immediately that you have found the other half of your brain. Who knew mine was in Florida cooking food at a yacht club Either way... a friend is a treasure
*edit* I must add that I didn't know such good friends lived in NYC, Baltimore, Roanoke, PA, Alabama, Atlanta, or Mississippi either
sometimes friends just grow apart. it doesn't mean that either of them love each other less, but the things that brought them together in the first place may not be as prevalent in either of their lives anymore, causing a natural breakaway from each other. my best friend and i have been going through this. she is doing different things in her life (positive things though) and i am still at home working a low level job, trying to get on my feet after some past mistakes (DUIs). meanwhile she is three hours away in a very hard architecture program at a university. we don't have as much in common as we used to. it hurts to feel that we are losing each other, but such is life.
karma for this - very succint way of describing what happens.
as for me, i tend to lose a lot of friends to children. i dont have them, they do.. suddenly, all that stuff you use to do together is no longer possible.
ive losts many friends in the way you describe too - people back home who never left and people here who moved away. in many cases, due to different life decisions, i have very little in common with friends that ive really loved in the past.
now, all we would have is the ability to talk about the past...so why bother.
