My First Slam Poem

So, here it is. Its still kind of a draft and will likely change when I workshop it this weekend. My very first slam poem. To those in Chicago, if you've never been you should check out the Green Mill on Sundays. An amazing slam show for $6 followed by some great jazz.

I am America.

You heard me right. I am America through and through.

I bleed red, white and two all beef patties with special sauce.

So let me tell you a secret, a confession if you will.

I am America.

I drink too much and will tell you I don't smoke but the moment that beer hits my throat, I'm going to need a drag.

I never work out and I hardly ever groom. But when it happens you can bet there's something I'm not telling you.

I'll act like I'm an artist but you'll never see me get anything made. And honestly, its just a ploy to help me get laid.

You write off the things I do that annoy you as just another part of the oblivious male. And all the while I hit the toilet seat on purpose.

I could probably cook if I tried but feigning incompetence cuts my work in half. Thats how the hole got in the wall.

I am the American male.

You think cats and dogs have it made? Watch the American male and you'll see exactly how good it can be.

And if someone tells you they're different its because its all part of the scheme.

This isn't to say I'm never sincere.

When I whisper sweetly to you I swear I mean it down to my bones.

And there are some things I could never do without you, like dance.

I may grumble and rumble when you want to go. But I'll dance my ass off till the bar is closed.

The key is to set expectations low.

And now you may ask yourself;

What do you see in me?

I guess you have a love of God and country

And after all, I am America.