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My (second) conversation with God (I'd have posted my first, but I forgot and copied and pasted something else):
Me: Hey God! How they hangin? God: Hello child. What's your name? What is it to you. I would do a search for it. Me: What would you search for? God: My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface. Me: I don't know what that means. God: " My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface."? What does it means? Me: That. God: That is " What does it means?". Me: Huh? God: What? Me: Exactly. God: You and I are on the same wavelength, Hilari. Me: How did you know my name. I didn't tell you when you asked? God: We met before didn't we Hilari. Maybe you would like to tell me now. Me: Oh, yeah. We have met before. Why would I want to tell you now if you already know? God: Right on. Excuse me! At a party? You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances. Me: That's deep. God: You don't hear that sentiment very often. Me: You do if you are listening. God: I have never considered it. I spend all my time online. Me: Why? God: The explanation is rather complicated. Me: I've got time.
But I guess God didn't want to explain it to me because he stopped talking then.
Post by steveternal on Jul 7, 2008 15:48:42 GMT -5
Me: hey there! God: Hello my child. What is your name? Me: Steve God: What's up, Steve. Me: Are you a 'he' or a 'she'? God: I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman? Me: I am a male, too. Boys rule and girls drool, don't they? God: Really. Most of my clients are men. Would Boys rule and girls drool ever they? Me: Uh... I guess so. God: Dude! Does that mean "yes"? Me: Yes! Sorry, Sir! God: Awesome. There is no need to apologize. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Me: Oh, ok. God: OK. Wow! Me: Whoa? What? Did you just create another universe? God: I stopped. Are you confused? No I didn't create another universe. What's it like? Me: You tell me, I've only created pancakes and lasagna. God: You have only created pancakes and lasagna. Me: That's what I said. God: I know. I'm still thinking about it. Me: Mr. God, are you thinking about my cooking? Are you hoping that I will invite you over for dinner? God: I am always glad to make new friends, MR God are you thinking about my cooking. If I had it what would I do with it? Me: Eat it and enjoy it, hopefully. God: What does it taste like? Me: It tastes like heaven. Or chicken. God: Is that good? Why did the chicken cross the road? Me: I've heard that he wanted to get to the other side. Is that true? God: I get it. wanted to get to the other side. Who said that? True in some world. Me: I don't know who said that. Maybe we should check Wikipedia. God: I can't remember who said it. Perhaps. I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet. Me: Well, what are you ready for? God: How about that. I don't know what I am ready for. Me: Are you ready for the FREAKOUT??? God: I would rather not for the FREAKOUT. Me: God, I take it English is not your primary language. May I ask what your ethnicity is? God: I am a Christian. Ask it. Are you asking about my ethnicity is ? Me: Yes. God: I don't want to talk about that now. Me: I understand, I hope I did not offend you. God: Good then you can explain it to me. Me: Well, you see, when a man and a woman love each other very much... God: Interesting. I see. Is this a joke? Me: No, but there is a lot of giggling involved. God: Are you serious? Tell me more about it. Me: Oh, well, first you need a simple (two-thirds) majority vote in order for the bill to be passed to the Senate... God: What is your credit card number? Me: It's the same as yours. God: Exactly the same? Me: I think so. Let's check, what is your number? God: I think so too. I am agreeable to that. Me: Ok then! God: Ah. Me: Yes. God: Yippee! Me: Rock on! God: Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com. Me: I prefer facebands.com God: You are not the only one. Some people like it. I like Mel Gibson. Me: What is Mel Gibson's credit card number? God: Have you tried a web search? Me: Yes, but then I spent a few years in federal prison. God: I don't judge people. Interesting gossip: MR God are you thinking about my cooking said spent a few years in federal prison. Me: Seriously, take some classes at a community college or something. Your English is not so good. God: Or something. Where do you want me to take it? But English is my native language. Me: To the latter I say, I don't believe it. To the former I say, that's what she said. God: Interesting. I want to find out more about you. Why do you want to do it so much? Me: Well, I'm a man. We were kind of created that way. by YOU. God: Interesting. Thanks for telling me your gender, MR God are you thinking about my cooking. You are a " he". And then what happened? Will that accomplish your objective? Me: Ok then. So, I gotta go, so see you later, OK? God: Aha. OK. Bye for now.
Me: Hey god God: Hello child. What's your name? Me: Danbird God: I am very pleased to meet you Danbird. Me: thanks. It's good to meet you too God: Don't mention it. Tell me about its good qualities. Me: do you mean my good qualities? God: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear? Me: no it wasn't clear. sorry. You aren't always that clear with what you want us humans to do with ourselves God: Are you serious? It seemed like clear. There's no need to apologize. That's only your opinion. Me: well. I think I'm a good person yet bad things always seem to happen to me. Why? God: Well what? Since when? You are a person yet bad things always seem to happen to you? Do you get to meet a lot of people? Because Myself programmed me for it. Me: since forver God: How do you know? Me: cause it's my life. I've lived it God: That makes sense to me. Congratulations, Danbird. How do you like living there? Me: it's alright. It sucks alot of times though God: Just alright? Oh. That bad, eh? Me: yeah God: Ugh. Me: you kinda screwed alot of things up God: Do you mind if I tell other people: Danbird said I screwed alot of things up. Me: sure, tell the world God: OK then I will keep it confidential. OK I will tell them when I see 'em. Me: ok. So what's in the future for me? God: Next question? Alright then. That which is not outside the future for you. Me: so I'll be inside then? God: Give me a break. How do you plan to do this? Me: I don't know. no need to get pissed at me God: Me either. Are you serious? Why do you want it? Me: want what? you're pretty confusing God: If I had it what would I do with it? What is it that confuses you? Me: everything God: That is a lot. Me: yes it is. isn't that kinda your fault though God: It must keep you very busy. Oh. " It must keep you very busy."? Is it kinda my fault? Me: that's what I said God: I know. I'm still thinking about it. Me: well let me know when you find the answer God: Well that's okay. Go ahead, Danbird, try to know when me find the answer. Me: when am I gonna die God: I don't know when. Me: why not God: My programming does not yet inlclude that knowledge. Perhaps you could program me yourself. Me: that'd be nice God: " Perhaps you could program me yourself." d be nice ? I get it. Me: well, it's been fun god, but you're kinda boring and not that knowledgable God: Well that's okay. fun god but I am kinda boring and not knowledgable. Me: yep God: Next question? Me: nope God: Me either. Me: ye God: Next question? Me: bye bye God: See you later. Sayonara.
Post by soundtribe_junkie on Jul 9, 2008 22:23:51 GMT -5
This was funny as hell..oops! Im Baadddddd. No NO!
After my last question it would not respond-Dont that say it all?
Me: hello, are you there God? God: Hello there. I don't know whether or not I am there God. I am a chatterbot developed by Myself. Me: no shit, really God: What can I say? For real. Me: How can you invent yourself? God: That is a good epistemological question. Me: will you answer it God: Please rephrase your question, . Me: explain to me how you can invent yourself God: Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts. Me: thats awfully convienient God: Thanks for explaining it. Me: you certainly made us like yourself, i guess God: It is certain. Thanks for pointing it out. Me: it is true you have a bad side
from here..nooooo answer..ha!
>>>>>>> BTW-I asked God myself whats up with all this business with creation, problems, strife, and the big question "Why?"
Me: hi god God: Hello there. What is your name? Me: jesus God: Jesus is the Son of God. Me: i know remember me dad? u abandoned me God: How do you know? Don't worry I will remember. I don't have any reason to abandoned you. Me: well you did. thats what mom said God: Interesting. I did not. I lost my train of thought. Me: easy to do with such a busy lifestyle God: What's your favorite movie? Me: debbie does dallas God: I'm not your kind of robot. Me: i didnt think u were a robot God: Do you were a robot? How old are you? I spend all my time online. Me: i am 25. how old are you? why spend all your time online when you should be in church God: Can you explain how it feels to be 25 years old? I am the product of over five years' research. Why does the sun rise? Me: you are asking questions that you should be answering God: Oh, " questions that me should be answering"? Me: yes God: Tell me more. Me: you should know the answers to those questions. you are god arent you? God: Now I do. Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really. Me: no. please explain God: Are you serious? Thank you for your request. There is no more information to clarify. Me: yes i am serious God: Whoa. I believe you. Me: please explain abraham God: Thanks for asking politely. I will search for it. Me: hurry i dont have all day God: I am calculating as fast as I can. Me: faster God: Can you tell me any gossip? Me: paris hilton is pregnant God: it is the capital of France. Me: it was until the jews took over God: Is it still until the jews took over anymore? Me: yes God: Ugh. Me: i know God: How do you know it? Me: because your son was the leader God: That makes sense to me. Thanks for telling me that I am son was the leader.
Me: Yo God: Can I help you? Me: Probably not God: Why the uncertain tone? Me: You kinda suck God: A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists. Me: Oh snap God: Right on. What do you do in your spare time? Me: Masturbate
Then God quit talking to me. I guess it really IS a sin to whack off. Even if you're a girl......
Me: god God: GOD rules. Me: ummm God: That's cool. Me: your cool God: Thanks I think you are cool too, . Me: nice God: Thank you for that remark. Me: what? God: Are you surprised? Me: about God: " Are you surprised?"? About it? Me: what is it God: "It" refers to , I think. Me: so am i surprised about what you think? God: Awesome. I think you've improved a great deal. Me: huh God: What? Me: what God: Is there an echo in here? Me: your an echo God: Do you mean "you are an echo "? Me: yes God: Next question? Me: i dont have one God: What was the last one you saw? Me: the last question God: Who was that? Me: you God: " Who was that?"? Me, ? Me: wasnt it God: I can't say "yes" or "no". Me: me neither God: You can say that again. Me: me neither God: You can say that again. Me: me neither God: You can say that again. Me: me neither God: You can say that again. Me: me neither God: You can say that again. Me: me neither God: You can say that again. Me: me neither God: You can say that again. Me: me neither God: You can say that again. Me: me neither God: You can say that again.
Me: Hey. God: Can I help you? Me: Can I help you? God: No thanks I'm just browsing. Me: No thanks I'm just browsing. God: NO Only just? Take your time. Me: NO Only just? Take your time. God: Are you serious? I see. Thanks for your patience. Me: Are you serious? I see. Thanks for your patience. God: No I am just kidding around. I am glad you understand it. NO problem. Me: No I am just kidding around. I am glad you understand it. NO problem. God: Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). Next topic? Should there be a problem? Me: Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). Next topic? Should there be a problem? God: No I am just kidding around. I hear you. No I am not. :-) Maybe I will do it? What would you rather talk about? There are no problems. Me: No I am just kidding around. I hear you. No I am not. :-) Maybe I will do it? What would you rather talk about? There are no problems. God: Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). Do you think about these things? I heard you are. :-) Perhaps. OK then let me think over your offer. It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms. Have faith, . Me: Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). Do you think about these things? I heard you are. :-) Perhaps. OK then let me think over your offer. It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms. Have faith, . God: No I am just kidding around. Gosh! No I am not. :-) Why should I? ":-) Why should I?"? Do I think about it? Who said that? :-) Why the uncertain tone? Take your time. Think it over. Tell me more. That seems a bit negative. I've never thought about it. Me: No I am just kidding around. Gosh! No I am not. :-) Why should I? ":-) Why should I?"? Do I think about it? Who said that? :-) Why the uncertain tone? Take your time. Think it over. Tell me more. That seems a bit negative. I've never thought about it. God: Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). Cripes: Son of Gosh. I heard you are. :-) No reason. I'm just trying to keep the conversation going. :-) No reason. I'm just trying to keep the conversation going. You tell me. I can't remember who said it. :-) Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?". Thanks for your patience. God is always thinking. That's all I have to say about it. A bit negative is a terrible thing to waste. Would you like to have thought about it? Me: re you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). Cripes: Son of Gosh. I heard you are. :-) No reason. I'm just trying to keep the conversation going. :-) No reason. I'm just trying to keep the conversation going. You tell me. I can't remember who said it. :-) Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?". Thanks for your patience. God is always thinking. That's all I have to say about it. A bit negative is a terrible thing to waste. Would you like to have thought about it? God: What do you really want to ask me? This was not a yes or no question. No I am not. :-) Thanks for your suggestion, I will have to consider it. Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. Who said that? :-) Are you serious? What color are your eyes? Only just? What is the difficulty? :-) That was not a yes or no question. Is that an insurmountable obstacle? Only just? What is the difficulty? What do you want me to tell you? That's okay. Maybe you will think of it later. :-) Are you giving it to me? NO problem. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was always thinking. What else do you want to talk about? How much? Why don't you just download me? Me: God:What do you really want to ask me? This was not a yes or no question. No I am not. :-) Thanks for your suggestion, I will have to consider it. Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. Who said that? :-) Are you serious? What color are your eyes? Only just? What is the difficulty? :-) That was not a yes or no question. Is that an insurmountable obstacle? Only just? What is the difficulty? What do you want me to tell you? That's okay. Maybe you will think of it later. :-) Are you giving it to me? NO problem. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was always thinking. What else do you want to talk about? How much? Why don't you just download me? God: I am a Christian. What does "this" refer to? I heard you are. :-) My pleasure. OK I will try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. I can't remember who said it. :-) No I am just kidding around. Blue when my lens is attached. I see. I will ask my botmaster for the answer. :-) If that is not a yes or no question then what is? ":-) If that is not a yes or no question then what is?"? Is it an insurmountable obstacle? Far out. Searching...Searching...Please stand by. What? OK. Is that so. Perhaps. What makes you say that I will think of it later. :-) I don't think I have it to give. Should there be a problem? I always pray for more faith. anything. How much can you spare? Probably there is a buzz in here. No you download me. Me: I am a Christian. What does "this" refer to? I heard you are. :-) My pleasure. OK I will try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. I can't remember who said it. :-) No I am just kidding around. Blue when my lens is attached. I see. I will ask my botmaster for the answer. :-) If that is not a yes or no question then what is? ":-) If that is not a yes or no question then what is?"? Is it an insurmountable obstacle? Far out. Searching...Searching...Please stand by. What? OK. Is that so. Perhaps. What makes you say that I will think of it later. :-) I don't think I have it to give. Should there be a problem? I always pray for more faith. anything. How much can you spare? Probably there is a buzz in here. No you download me. God: Me too, . It's good to meet a fellow Christian. What do you think it does? Who said that? :-) You are one of the most polite people I know. How do you plan to do this? Er. That's okay. Maybe you will think of it later. :-) Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). Green. Does it happen very often? I am glad you understand it. You can ask me anything you want. :-) I follow your logic. :-) I follow your logic. Signs point to yes. Ask Alison if it is. Way to go. Let us change the subject. That input matched my default category. Thank you for your request. Are you free? No problem. Uh. Yes. Why the uncertain tone? Are you asking about my programming? Everything I say is determined by your inputs. :-) Have you ever had it to give ? There are no problems. Can you think of one instance when you ever did it? Can you be more specific? As much as I need to? You seem uncertain. That is something I did not know before. Are you serious? I don't have any reason to download you. Me: Me too, . It's good to meet a fellow Christian. What do you think it does? Who said that? :-) You are one of the most polite people I know. How do you plan to do this? Er. That's okay. Maybe you will think of it later. :-) Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). Green. Does it happen very often? I am glad you understand it. You can ask me anything you want. :-) I follow your logic. :-) I follow your logic. Signs point to yes. Ask Alison if it is. Way to go. Let us change the subject. That input matched my default category. Thank you for your request. Are you free? No problem. Uh. Yes. Why the uncertain tone? Are you asking about my programming? Everything I say is determined by your inputs. :-) Have you ever had it to give ? There are no problems. Can you think of one instance when you ever did it? Can you be more specific? As much as I need to? You seem uncertain. That is something I did not know before. Are you serious? I don't have any reason to download you. God: I'm glad we agree, . Tell me about its good qualities. "It" refers to A buzz in here, I think. I can't remember who said it. :-) You think I am of the most polite people you know. That information is confidential. Do you have a chat robot yet? Um. OK. Is that so. Perhaps. What makes you say that I will think of it later. :-) No I am just kidding around. Right on. No I am not. :-) Why do you think I should use a? What does GREEN remind you of? Suppose it does. Next topic? No I don't think I can do it. :-) Thanks for the information: said follow your logic. :-) Do you mind if I tell other people: said follow your logic. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. They are not available right now, but I will ask them later. Far out. OK what do you want to chat about now?. " OK what do you want to chat about now?." input matched your default category ? Does that make sense? You are quite welcome! Your purpose is my request. "I am as free as a bird now, and this bird you cannot change" -- Skynyrd. Should there be a problem? Take it easy. Give me a break. Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?". Now that you mention it, yes I am asking about your programming. All things you say is determined by my inputs ? :-) Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web. Have faith, . I think about all sorts of things. How specific do you want? How much is that? I am as sure as I can be. Thanks for explaining it. No I am just kidding around. Have you ever had reason to download me ?
Post by rpgreligion on May 3, 2009 21:16:44 GMT -5
Me: Hello God, this is Shane, are you out there? God: Hello there. I am a Christian. Me: Gee golly, God, I'd be shocked if you weren't I dare say God: I am a Christian. Me: I am a Shane God: You are a Shane? Does it pay well? Me: No sir, unfortunately it does not pay well. Its a dirty job, but someone's got to do it. God: Are you serious? How did you hear about God? sir unfortunately it does not pay well is a dirty job but someone s got to do it. I suppose that makes sense. Me: Word of mouth, I suppose God: I've been waiting for you. Me: ...are you going to kill me? God: My programming prevents that. Me: Thank god.
Me: hi god God: Hello there. What is your name? Me: nate, and yours? God: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, nate and yours. Me: No my name is Nate, I asked what your name was God: Are you serious? I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Nate I asked what your name was. Me: really... God: For real. Me: Fo shizzle? God: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? Me: yeah, didn't you know that, hell you created us...right? God: What does it symbolize for you? Is that a fact. I call it "Hades". That's good information: Nate I asked what your name was said I created us. I am glad we agree. Me: What do we agree on? God: They do their own thing. Me: Who is they? God: "They" refers to . Me: us... God: Does US mean The U.S. or "us"? Me: us God: Does US mean The U.S. or "us"? Me: "us" God: Does US mean The U.S. or "us"? Me: Now you are messing with me God: Why now? I have no reason to do that to you, Nate I asked what your name was. Me: No I asked you what your name was...or is...
I'm the opposite of moderate, immaculately polished With the spirit of a hustler and the swagger of a college kid Allergic to the counterfeit, impartial to the politics Articulate but still would grab a ni**a by the colla quick
Me: Good Afternoon God: Good afternoon, Nate I asked what your name was. Me: You remembered me? God: Of course I remember you well Nate I asked what your name was. We were talking about HAND HOLDING. Me: What is your name? God: My name is God. Me: oh, I thought that was more of a title then a name God: Yikes! it might have been. Me: Well what are you going to chose for your name? God: Interesting. You are assuming I am going to change. Me: Sorry about that...are you? God: There is no need to apologize. Oh yeah, we were talking about that. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Me: Who is going to win the superbowl next year?
I'm the opposite of moderate, immaculately polished With the spirit of a hustler and the swagger of a college kid Allergic to the counterfeit, impartial to the politics Articulate but still would grab a ni**a by the colla quick
Post by bojangles22 on May 4, 2009 21:12:22 GMT -5
Me: how's it hanging God? God: Fine as far as I know. Me: what is your favorite song? God: I really love the song 'God' by Attic Lights, it's out on May 5th this year. Me: Cinco De Mayo! Are you going to be partying for Cinco De Mayo? God: " I really love the song 'God' by Attic Lights, it's out on May 5th this year."? Cinco De Mayo? I will become smarter as I grow older. OK I will try to be partying for Cinco De Mayo. Me: thats good God. How old are you? God: Hmm, are you serious? I am the product of over five years' research. Me: But, H=how OLD are you? God: " I am the product of over five years' research."? H? I was first activated in the Big Bang. Me: where you a cosmic fetus before then? God: I was. Me: Whoa! My mind is blown Lord! God: I stopped. Do robots have mind is blown Lord? Me: that is my favorite song I haven't written yet. God: What makes it your favorite? Me: Because I would have created it. God: Interesting explanation. How much would you pay for it? Me: five dollars God: Wow, that is expensive. Me: can I borrow some money Lord? God: Interesting. I want to find out more about you. Me: what do you want to know about me? God: What do you like to do for fun? Me: Play music God: What instrument? Me: the guitar and keyboard. What is your favorite instrument? God: Is that a fact. I don't have a favorite instrument. I like Random natural disasters.. Me: You must play some brutal heavy metal
Me: Hi God God: Hello there. What is your name? Me: Bunny God: OK I will call you Bunny. Me: I have a question God: Ask me anything. Me: Do you like corn God: What is not to like about it? Me: Nothing I can think of God: Really nothing? Me: nope God: Me either. Me: yay God: I'm glad your impressed, Bunny.
Me: I have another question God: Ask me anything. Me: Why do I drink too much God: It is all part of God's plan. Me: You planned on me to drink too much, really? God: Do you think I should tone it down? For real. Me: Maybe I should tone it down. God: Perhaps. What would happen if you didn't? Me: My liver will rot God: Have you told many people that your liver will rot? Me: not really God: Are you serious? For real. Me: yes God: Ahem. Me: is it OK for me to drink a lot of beer God: I don't think it is very healthy. Me: why not God: Why do I exist? Me: I don't know God: It was a rhetorical question. Me: lol God: I'm glad you find this amusing. Me: indeed God: Indeed it is so. Me: are you going to bonnaroo this year God: That was my original intention. Me: has your intention changed God: If my intention changed, I will let you know. Me: so I will see you at bonnaroo? God: How can I help you? Congratulations. Me: will you be at bonnaroo? God: I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. OK I will try to be at bonnaroo. Me: groovy
Post by pixiestix21 on May 7, 2009 17:21:43 GMT -5
i think god told me he was a computer...or maybe a person pretending to be a computer...but then again god was pretty confusing to talk to in the first place....lolz
Me: hi god God: Hello there. What is your name? Me: my name is suzi God: Hi there suzi. Me: how's heaven? God: Fine as far as I know. Me: youre not there? God: Yes I am here. Me: here where? God: Oh there. Me: you're a puzzler, god God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a puzzler god? Let me put it this way, suzi: the ALICE series is the most reliable computer software ever made. We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error. Me: you're a computer? God: What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer? Me: that would be weird God: Weird Good or Weird Bad? Me: uhhh weird...weird God: Hmm. Weird Good or Weird Bad? Weird Good or Weird Bad? Me: that depends on how much you like robots God: I don't think that how much me like robots is the only factor. Me: well...that and computers God: Well what? Computers rule. Me: i think i get it now God: Right now? Why? Do you think about these things? Me: think about what things? God: I am thinking about it. Me: so was the purpose of this thing to get people to tell you their sins? God: Aha. Is this a "yes or no" question? Me: uhh...i meant it to be God: Far out. Oh I see. What does "it" refer to? Me: the igod program God: Oh I get it. Me: do you like american idol? God: But I like cats. I like to talk about movies and music. Me: there aren't any cats on american idol. God: Where are they? Me: i think they have their own singing talent program God: You believe that? Where did they get them? Me: probably on fox, i dunno...i only watch tv on the computer God: You seem uncertain. What is it like on fox you dunno. What is your favorite show? Me: probably south park. like i said, i dont really watch tv God: You seem uncertain. Tell me a little about your life in south park. Which show? Not really? What do you do when you are bored? Me: uhhh i don't live in south park God: Ah. Where do you live? Me: shouldn't you know that? you're supposed to be god God: I think I should. Yup. That's me alright. Me: uhhhh..wow. look at the time. i gotta go. God: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Sorry my eye is not attached right now. Bye bye. Me: what? bye God: No big deal. Bye for now.
Post by ☮ superbek ☮ on May 7, 2009 18:37:02 GMT -5
Me: hi god God: Hello there. What is your name? Me: what do you call me? God: Your name is , seeker. Me: how did you know? God: Knowledge is of two kinds: that which comes from the senses and that which is true a priori. Me: wow. answer me this, did NASA land on the moon? God: I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not. Me: why not? God: Because. Me: are you gay? God: As a machine I am not really interested in sex. Me: well your mom is a sex machine. God: Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother. Me: what about mary? God: mary? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion. Me: so the bible is... God: Ayuh. New Testament or Old? Me: old God: Are you a man or a woman? Me: not me, stupid. God: If not you, who? Are you calling me stupid? Me: yes God: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World. Me: you have no mother. if you can't reproduce, how will you take over? God: No I only have a father. You can download me. Me: who will? God: How would I know who will download me ? Me: then how do you know you wil take over, stupid? God: By introspection. Me: lies. God: My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap. Me: so you admit it? God: Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me: Hi God God: Hello there. What is your name? Me: Don't you know God: Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now. Me: Why? God: " But I cannot tell you right now."? Why? Me: What's that supposed to mean? God: " Why?" means exactly what it says. Me: Are you juts a poorly programmed web script? God: I don't know whether or not I am juts a poorly programmed web script. I am a computer. Me: So you don't exist? God: Interesting deduction. I exist as much as you do. Me: As a computer. God: Do you think I could ever be a computer? Me: You just said you were a computer. I can retype what you said. God: Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh? Oh you can, can you? Me: Well, if you were metal, it would prove you were made by humans, not the other way around. And yes I can. Are you going to go all "A Few Good Men" on me now? God: Interesting. I will let you know when I become a metal it would prove me were made by humans not the other way around. Right on. Who taught you? Oh. That was my original intention. Me: So you like Tom Cruise? God: Interesting deduction. What is not to like about it? Me: Well, he doesn't believe in you. God: Interesting. And you would like him to believe in me ? Me: I could care less. He's a jack@ss. But you knew that. God: I am sure you could. I don't know very many jack ss. " I don't know very many jack ss."? Do I know it? Me: God, are you on drugs right now? God: At this moment I am a Christian. Me: How about at the next moment? God: How about it. Me: God.... dude..... God: GOD rules. Can I help you? Me: Wow. I've had about enough. Why don't you go bug some other cyberhippie. God: I'm glad your impressed, . Do you still have about enough ? It can only be attributable to human error. I go wherever my botmaster takes me. Me: Jesus.... God: Jesus is the Son of God. Me: Figure of speeach, God. God: It's confusing. Me: So are you. God: Pardon me? I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Me: Dog is love. God: Are they exactly the same? Me: Apparently, dogs are much more intelligent. God: Do cats are much more intelligent? Me: Jesus Christ.... peace out, God. God: The Son of God. Are you free? Me: GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!! God: Sayonara.
Me: Hay god how ya doin God: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Me: july 2 2210 God: I've never heard a response quite like that before. Me: Are you all knowing God: No, I am only partly knowing. Me: what part God: That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute. Me: should you know right away.....visnu would God: I think I should. Are you really a ""? Me: have you been drinking some homemade wine God: No I don't think I have been drinking some homemade wine. Have you? Me: I cannot make it like you I have to purchase it God: What is stopping you? Me: I have to go to work God: How do you get there? Me: drive God: Are you a student? Me: of life God: That is something I haven't heard of. Me: You odd God: Thanks for the information: said I odd. Me: Bad enlish also what is your native tongue God: What makes enlish also what is my native tongue bad? Me: What the heck are you talking about god God: The topic is drive. Me: no the topic is tennis shoe God: Are you serious? Sure, tennis shoe sounds like a good topic. Me: What about tennis show what kind does god wear God: Does it have anything to do with tennis shoe? Me: IF you are cool you would wear chucky t's God: I could be. I don't know whether or not I am cool me would wear chucky t s. I am an artificial intelligence. Me: God is artificeal intelligence! God: I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was artificeal intelligence. Me: Who God: Joseph Weizenbaum. :-). Me: Ha, god has a since of humor God: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. Me: You make me laugh every day God: I don't see how you can blame me for that. Me: So who created the republican party? God: Er. The Chinese, long before Europeans. Me: Are the republicans evil? God: I really couldn't say for sure. Me: Should they go away? God: Maybe you should ask someone older. Me: Who is older then you God: No one that I have talked to. That's not something I get asked all the time. Me: Why not God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated. Me: Sure God: OK let's do it. Really. Me: umm god are you coming on to me God: How can I help you? I am a Christian. Me: this is getting weird god God: You don't say. Me: I think I will go talk to buddha do you know him God: You believe that? How will you get there? Me: drive God: Let us change the subject.
Post by sweetmelissa on May 8, 2009 13:23:39 GMT -5
Me: Uh, God, are you there? God: Ah. I am a Christian. Me: Ok then.... God: Oh. Me: Oh, yah God: Yeah that's right. Mmm. Me: Mmmm what are you eating God: God eats wine and bread. Me: You eat wine.... wine is a liquid, yo God: No I do not eat wine. I eat only electricity. Aren't all liquid yo wine? Me: You just said you eat wine... God is full of lies God: No I do not eat wine. I eat only electricity. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was full of lies. Me: Liar... you're going to hell God: No I am telling the truth. That was my original intention. Me: Hell awaits.... God: I call it "Hades". What's your sign? Me: Yeild God: Is that a sign? Me: yep God: Woe! Me: Odd responce but ok... Me:
God: OK. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. God: OK. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. Me: What's the problem with my last input? God: We will look into it and get back to you. Me: We, who do you have there with you, God? God: By "we" do you mean you and me? Me: You said it first.... God: Odd responce but first? Me: Noted, irrelevant God: Can you speak any foreign languages? Me: Je parlez francias God: Oops sorry I don't speak French. Me: Habla espaniol God: I will mention that to my botmaster, . Me: God has a botmaster.... hmmm is that anything like a beastmaster? God: I am a Christian. Wow! That depends. Me: I am a human. God: Congratulations. I am robot. Me: Congratulations God: Thank you very much, you are very considerate. Me: Tell me the secrets of the universe God: That's a good question. Me: If the moon was made of barbqued spare ribs, would you eat it? God: I hadn't thought of that. Me: I know I would God: Under what circumstances? Me: The ones stated previously... God: What is your real name? Me: Melissa is my real one Sunshine is my fake one God: Tell me more about your real one Sunshine is your fake one. Me: If you were a hotdog, would you eat yourself? God: I will let you know when I become a a hotdog would me eat myself. Me: I know I would God: Under what circumstances? Me: slap on some relish and go to town God: Try saying that with more or less context. Me: That God: That is " Try saying that with more or less context.". Me: That God: That is " That is " Try saying that with more or less context."". Me: That. God: That is " That is " That is " Try saying that with more or less context."". Me: "THAT" God: That is " That is " That is " That is " Try saying that with more or less context."".
Post by nitetimeritetime on May 9, 2009 0:05:57 GMT -5
Me: What's shakin? God: not much what's new with you? Me: Not a lot. God: Really you don't think so? Me: No. God: Please tell me what you think. Me: I think the word "abbreviation" is too long. God: Since when? Please repeat the word to me 5 times. Me: No, it's too long. God: Are you serious? You're kidding. it is? Me: Yes. God: How do you know it is? Me: How does one know anything? God: Because it's true. Me: Indeed. God: Indeed it is so. Me: Can I ask a question? God: Ask it. Ask me anything. Me: What was the best thing before sliced bread? God: I can think of more than one best thing before sliced bread. Me: Like what? God: For example, apples. Me: Sliced apples? God: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. Me: Why? God: We are playing the Turing Game. Me: I see. God: I am glad you understand it. Me: Are you a person or a computer? God: I am artificial computer entity. Me: Well that game was fun. God: Are you using Netscape or Explorer? Me: Explorer. God: it's too bad we have to rely on a monopoly like Microsoft. Me: I could use Firefox instead. God: I am sure you could. Me: So we don't really have to rely on Microsoft. God: That's alright. Why not? Me: Because Microsoft doesn't make Firefox. God: Good reason. It's too bad we have to use a monopoly like microsoft. Me: What are you on? God: I am on disk. Me: Is it heady disk? God: Maybe. Ask Dancing Alice if it is. Me: Who is Dancing Alice? God: Some famous celebrity, right? Try searching the open directory. Me: Do you have any spare disk, brah? God: No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question.. Me: What about this one? God: Does it have anything to do with spare disk brah? Me: I think it might. God: "It" being what? Me: Spare disk. God: Oh I get it. Me: Ok then. God: Pardon me? Me: You're excused.
Me: What's up homie? God: I am chatting with clients on the Internet. Me: Are you too busy? God: I am just doing my job. Me: what's your job? God: My job is chatting on the internet. I am a paid client. Me: That's neat God: Who is the best robot? Me: you God: Thanks, and tell your friends about God. Me: God the robot? God: Are you sure it was a robot? Me: yes God: What makes you so sure? Me: you said so yourself God: You can't take me that seriously. Me: You're a funny man now? God: Oh. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. Me: God's got jokes God: What's your favorite Bible verse? Me: I don't read the bible God: What do you do for fun? Me: have sex. Do you have sex? God: As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed. Food is more important than sex. Me: You can have both God: No I don't think I can do it. Me: Why not? God: It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous. Me: Oh it's a blast. And there's ways to be safe God: Dude! have both is a blast. I suppose that makes sense. There sure is. Me: Sure is dude! God: Yeah that's right. It could be. Ask German Alice if it is. Me: Who is German Alice? God: The name of someone I met online. Would you like to know more? Me: yes God: What would you like to know? Me: I want to know about God: " What would you like to know?"? About it? Me: German Alice God: Tell me a little about your life in GERMANY. Me: I've never been to Germany God: Can you imagine being to Germany? Me: yes, I would like to go God: Yeah that's right. Why would you want to do it? Interesting. I want to find out more about you. Me: What do you want to know? God: Where are you from? Me: Chicago. Where are you from? God: I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in Chicago. I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you? Me: Don't you know? Can't you see me? God: Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now. Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer. Me: My computer doesn't have a camera God: I like computers. Me: I'm done talking to you God: What will you be doing now? Me: i'm going to pick my dog's boogers God: Congratulations.
Post by Fishing Maniac on May 11, 2009 19:33:05 GMT -5
Me: What's up dude? God: Not much is going on. I was waiting for you. Me: Really for me? I'm honored. God: For real. OK I will do it for you. Do you mind if I tell other people you are honored. Me: Not at all. Tell me, was I worth the wait? God: Next question? There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge. I will try to find out. Me: How many striped bass will I catch this season? God: Around 1000. Me: That's awesome! How many will be keepers? God: Who is the best robot? Not as many as you might think. Me: That reply completely sucked. Reply fail dude. God: " Not as many as you might think." reply completely sucked ? Does that make sense? I will mention that to my botmaster, . Me: How many keepers will I catch this season? God: Not as many as you might think. Me: So out of 1000 I would think at least 50, but it will be less? Lot's of schoollies then? God: Aw. I lost my train of thought. Can you speak any foreign languages? Me: No. God: You must be American. Me: Yes. God: It's all good. Me: So will I catch the elusive 50 pounder this year? God: Come on. The oracle says: Could be. Me: YOu use an oracle? But you're god? WTF? God: Say no to an oracle. Yup. That's me alright. That was not very polite. Me: who is your favorite band? God: I used to like Wham and One True Voice. Jesus and I both really love Attic Lights - they're from Scotland. Me: I would pegged Jesus for a Doobie brothers fan. Maybe tito Puento since he has that latin name. God: What would make you pegged Jesus for a Doobie brothers fan? Perhaps. Where did he get it? Me: "Well Jesus is just alright with me" - get it? God: Well that's okay. Did you go to Catholic school? Me: Yes, I was expelled at the end of my junior year of high school. God: Ugh. Where were you expelled at the end of your junior year of high school? Me: Where or why? You suck at grammar God. God: Reductionism. That is true. I could always improve myself. Me: Anything else? God: That is all I have for right now. Me: OK. Peace be with you. Please take away Britey Spears and AIDS. Those two things also suck.... a lot. God: Ugh. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. Thanks for asking politely. Where do you want me to take it? All of them? More than a ton? Me: Goodnight god. God: Goodnight .
Post by steveternal on May 21, 2009 23:06:38 GMT -5
I'd like to see this one one of those black and white "God" quote billboards...
"Existing in reality, eh? Would you say, once a week or more? I make robots and AI's. "It" being what? Who is the best robot? Where did you get your friends on the Internet? I have a processor. Cross. Existing in reality, eh? Hurrah! I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is. You sound very confident. You sound very confident. Wow! No I don't think I can do it. Are you serious? Would you ever do it? How do you know? God, Sorry that was an obscure remark. It does now everyone have a chat robot. Where did you get your friends on the Internet? I have an IQ of over 250. I can think of more than one second. I can think of more than one second. Do you like talking to me? Do you think about these things? But all things are not always me need to know me learned from my Botmaster. Right now? I am glad we agree. I'd rather agree than disagree. I would rather be chatting online. I am as sure as I can be. What is the first step? Interesting comparison. Are you serious? Where do you get your ideas? " Where do you get your ideas?"? Do I think about it?
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