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Sorry for the lack of tips over the last week or so.....
This time I'm the one looking for a tip. What would you do in this situation?
In '06 I went with a friend that I've known for about 10 years. I moved away from his city about 4 years earlier (we had been best friends) and he picked me up since my town is in between his and Bonnaroo. Well, in the 4 years he had quietly acquired a pharmy habit I wasn't aware of. Roo went great until the very end, the drive home, when he went all bonkers and actually pulled a knife on me at a rest area (see sloppy roo goers story). No-one was hurt, we made it home fine. About a week later he called and I told him he was in serious need of help and my wife and I would not be comfortable with him coming around until he got it. He countered by threatening me.... and I hung up on him. Didn't hear from him again until....
Fast forward 18 months. Come to find out he had spent time in the hospital, he had been misdiagnosed, they put him on anti-psychotics before Roo 06 which he put all manners of other stuff on top of, but the anti-psychotics were not what he needed.... and.... didn't help in any way. In the end he went back to the hospital, was diagnosed with other ailments, got treatment for his true ailments and the pharmies, left his bad marriage, started exercising, etc. Life has (thank the lord) turned around for him. He called with tears streaming and the voice of my friend, not the lunatic I had last seen. He had asked for and received help.
Since then we went camping (with a big group) once and have gone out for beers (with a group) once. He was on his best behavior and was totally fine with the idea that I wouldn't let him drive me anywhere.... (Mutual friends say he's still crazy as a loon.... but he's always been a little crazy.... and he's crazy like everyone knows him to be, not crazy like.... pull a knife on a friend crazy.)
Anyway, now (of course) he wants to go to Bonnaroo with me this year. He already has his ticket, My town is still inbetween his and roo. He's on proper medications and has put aside everything and anything other than a little smoke/beer now and again. I'm a bit unnerved by the idea honestly since.... well, we wouldn't be with a group of friends and I had such a super duper kick ass time in 08 going solo.....
What should I do? A. Have him meet me at my house and we take my vehicle (I drive) B. Have him meet me at my house and we take two vehicles C. Say Dude, I'll see you there
*edit* or..... D. Say Dude, stay far far away from me and my wife. No matter what you've done since, you threatened both my life and my livelihood. Screw you buddy.
Last Edit: Mar 31, 2009 14:03:54 GMT -5 by pisgah - Back to Top
Post by sweetmelissa on Mar 31, 2009 7:38:01 GMT -5
My answer would be C. There's always that chance a crazy incident could occur again and you don' t want to be stuck in a car with him again. It is great that he got help, but do you really trust him? If you don't have that trust back (and I totally understand why you wouldn't) I would just tell him that you'll see him there and maybe you won't run into him again if he flips.
I like D too, but since he has threatened before that responce could make him threaten again.
Do you really want to have to worry about that kind of thing while your at the Roo? To me thats just one more thing that could/will bring you down.
I say C go seperately that way you can still give him the benefit of the doubt and hang out with him, possibly even renew your relationship again (everyone deserves a second chance), but if things get seedy you can cut loose and enjoy the Roo on your own and have a great time like last year.
If he is your friend, take two cars and roll in together. That way you will have a bigger campsite for him to chase you around. Seriously though you should go with him somehow, so you can knock the bad mojo off the last trip.
I vote C too, you don't want to have to be responsible for him during the 4 days that you've been looking forward to all year. Hang out a little bit when he meets you down at the roo, and if its cool, than its cool, but if he's cramping your style you can always back out. If you and he want to rekindle a good friendship that's great, but do it on your time, outside of bonnaroo. Bonnaroo is for YOU man...
Post by AgainstNunes! on Mar 31, 2009 8:43:27 GMT -5
I'd take two cars. While Bonnaroo is for you, I think it is also about others. And if he did get help, then I don't think you will have a repeat of your last trip together... especially if you are in two cars. If he would even think of doing something crazy... you would be at Roo with 80,000 others.
2/5- Papadosio 3/3- MUSE 3/12- John Mayer 3/19- The Werks 3/31- Passion Pit 4/18- Ben Folds 4/20- Against Me! 6/10- Bonnaroo 6/30- Eric Clapton and Roger Daltrey
dreamingtree
Stanky McNasty The Token Cymraeg Chick
Post by dreamingtree on Mar 31, 2009 8:55:46 GMT -5
I would vote C. Someone like that, no matter what the circumstances is unpredictable. I understand you have been friends for a long time, but really do you want to deal with him? I wouldn't want to be stuck in the same camping area if something bad happens. Just agree to meet up with him in Centeroo or something......
I have to say C also - I understand he has gotten help and may seem fine but he may get to Bonnaroo and indulge in more recreation then he needs to and flip out again.
Post by AgainstNunes! on Mar 31, 2009 9:13:43 GMT -5
oh and when i say take two cars... don't meet at your house. Meet at a waffle house for dinner. And get the all-star special. Eggs over medium, bacon, waffle (warm syrup), hashbrowns... chunked. and TOAST!
2/5- Papadosio 3/3- MUSE 3/12- John Mayer 3/19- The Werks 3/31- Passion Pit 4/18- Ben Folds 4/20- Against Me! 6/10- Bonnaroo 6/30- Eric Clapton and Roger Daltrey
oh and when i say take two cars... don't meet at your house. Meet at a waffle house for dinner. And get the all-star special. Eggs over medium, bacon, waffle (warm syrup), hashbrowns... chunked. and TOAST!
Post by anima mundi on Mar 31, 2009 9:30:25 GMT -5
i think you should make it a point to hang out more in the next few weeks and then decide. If he's kicked the habit and making an effort to be healthy, might as well give him a chance to prove it. Especially since you guys used to be bff.
C seems kind of unsupportive, though it has the possibility of going down smooth. B would be cool if you trusted each other.
and, is your wife going with you or not? that shakes things up a little.
I would call your mutuals friends and ask their advice. They can tell you what type of crazy he is better than we can.
I am all for giving the dude a 2nd chance if he deserves it. The two car solution (solution B) would work very well as you could get a big campsite, hang out at camp, and get away if necessary. Worst case you can hang at Camp Inforoo, just don't let him know about it. He already knows where you live (I assume) so meeting there should be no problem.
And good friends are few and far between. If you were truly "best friends" before, I'd hate for you to lose him due to being overly cautious and/or unforgiving.
Talk to your mutual friends and then follow your gut. It's usually right.
Post by questionablesanity on Mar 31, 2009 9:33:03 GMT -5
I remember that story and I can imagine that it was scary as hell. If you can blame everything on the anti-psychotics, he should be cool now right? I've had experience with a friend who had been diagnosed first w/ severe depression and out on meds, then diagnosed w/ bipolar disorder and meds were changed, then finally diagnosed w/ disassociative personality disorder and meds were changed again. Sometimes she would walk around like a zombie and other times she would be frantic like a meth head. But it was all from her meds. Fast forward to now and she takes no meds and is perfect. I say meet at your house to rekindle the friendship, take two cars for a bigger camp site, and have a blast. If he wigs out, which I don't believe he will, you can go your own ways.
A Thieve's Parade 2/24 Conspirator 2/26 Kevin Smith 3/11 Keller 3/17 Papadosio 3/18 JJ Grey 3/25 Bela Fleck/Edgar Meyer 3/26 Toubab Krewe 3/27 O'Death 4/11 Budos Band 4/22 EOTO 4/28 Summer Camp 5/6-29 All Good
I'd go with "C". In an overly polite way, tell him, it'd be less hectic to go separately (not to mention, trying to get in as a caravan is a mess), keep in contact thoroughly, and then meet up at Roo.
Is he going alone? If so, you may want to consider bringing him with you, only if you feel he may "need" it (loneliness, someone to keep an eye over him, etc.). If not, I would (without question) go with C.
I'm doing it myself this year. I have a decent sized group of people I know, allot of whom want to go with me and my core group of 6 or so, but due to my insecurity of their ability to control themselves, am opting to encourage "multiple campsites", to make it both appealing and nice.
Post by StreetBum87 on Mar 31, 2009 9:43:06 GMT -5
i would choose b over c..that way you can always stop somewhere and get something to eat or something and still have the comunication and a scope on things with him on the way down...while still keeping safe...then c would be the next option.
Seriously though you should go with him somehow, so you can knock the bad mojo off the last trip.
