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alright then, officially emoney is up for July BMOTM!
here are some first questions:
-what is your earliest memory? -what would you do if you won the lottery? -sour patch kids or gummy bears? -if you could travel to the moon but it was on a shuttle in a seat next to Justin Beiber would you still go?
Earliest memory - Repeatedly running to the kitchen to do a Cheese Dance so mom would give me some of a slice of cheese. I only remember it because it was in home videos, but to be fair, I haven't watched those in like 15 years Won the lottery - Music festival tour of europe. Glastonbury, download, reading, leeds, pinkpop, rock am ring, the works. Then I'd set myself up in a modest condo somewhere outside of philly or chicago or san francisco and live out the rest of my days going to shows, sampling microbrews and playing video games and stuff. Also, I'd probably do nice stuff for my family and friends Gummy bears Bieber would make me more likely to sign on for a trip to the moon. What's on the moon? A bunch of rocks. Not even an amusement park. I could talk to bieber about the phish show he raged, though.
Watermelon is, for sure, a situational food. When it's really hot out, and you're outside, yeah, its a good time to munch on some damn watermelon. That's gonna be real refreshing. But other times, like if it's part of a platter of catered food at some gala, you bite into the watermelon and you're like "This is really sweet. I wasn't prepared for this. It just isn't the right time."
What do you usually smell like?
Hai Karate. I get it on ebay. A man has to understand his pheremones
Are you a fan of dragons?
I've spent a long time pondering this question and done a lot of soul-searching, and I'm ready to let it all out. Here's how I feel about dragons:
Do you own something shaped like a tiki?
Maybe?
What is your definition of a kiwi?
I expect it's the same as everyone else's
What does the word mandrill make you think of?
Sex.
Have you ever been guilty about throwing a water balloon?
Sure, but only because the guy was carrying a laptop
Have you ever though about jumping out of a window?
Airplane, yes. Window, nah.
Have you ever hit a Czech guy?
Czech? Nah
Have you made fun of a blind man?
No, and I couldn't see myself doing such a thing. Of course, neither could the blind guy. gahahahahahahahah
Are you a bad person?
Oh, most definitely.
Have you ever set a living organism on fire?
Oh, most definitely.
What is the largest thing you have eaten?
Have you ever been in a Latvian prison?
Latvian? Nah
Are you sane?
What is sanity, really? I'm a rational actor.
Have you ever strangled something?
Can't say that I have
What does fujsaj mean?
I have no earthly idea
Do you like Chinese?
The language? I have no strong feelings either way. I'm so sorry
Is there a dog?
i awaken. i don't know it at the moment, but this day marks my fourth straight year of existing in the dogscape. i push myself up from the carpet of writhing, twitching dogflesh beneath me and rise to my feet, stretching in the morning sun. it took me a while to learn to balance on the layer of solid dogs that now blankets every inch of solid ground, but nowadays i can walk and run as easily and as fast as i ever did on soil or concrete. perhaps faster.
this was a city once, i think, though which one i can't remember. i only owe my guess to the massive pillars of dogs jutting into the sky, perhaps ancient buildings now completely filled and overgrown by canine biomatter. i climbed one once, sinking my fingers and toes deep into the dogwall to gain purchase, and after hours and hours of climbing was rewarded with an incredible vista - fur and eyes, panting tongues and wagging tails, hugging the contours of the once-barren land and stretching in a single aeomebic mass farther than the eye can see.
now i don't do that, though. now i merely go about my day. i hike to the Gardens, where the dogplants sprout up in bizarre shapes from the floor of the dogscape, and reach up to pluck the fetal puppyfruits right off the wagging, energetic branches. i bite into the succulent flesh, the juices dribbling down my chin and dripping down to be reabsorbed by the groundflesh, and revel in the savory taste. i'm thirsty, so i range until i find one of the Mothermounds, and there i suckle at a teatpatch until i've had my fill of milk. sometimes i see other humans around me, as well-adapted to the dogscape as i am, but i barely acknowledge them, say nothing. what, after all, is there to say? the world is different now - what meaning would our old words have?
free-ranging dogs are becoming rarer and rarer to see now, and those i do see seem as lost, as passive as i am. they too graze on the dogplants, step carefully over the undulating, bleeding dogfloor, dimly acknowledge myself and one another. in the distant sky, and on the far horizon, i sometimes see massive forms sail or crawl or undulate, and i wonder if in this new world normal, singular, ambulatory dogs have become as obsolete as i am
What is on your ceiling right now?
Paint
What is the last thing you ate?
Do you own a bow and arrow?
Nope
What was the last thing you drew?
I drew a blank on this question
Do you believe in Dinosaurs?
The obvious gambit here would be to make a reference to Carl Everett, who does not believe in dinosaurs, because he's never seen one. So, there you go.
To be or not to be?
I think the best way to answer this question is with another quote. "It is what it is. If it wasn't, then it wouldn't be. And that's f*cked up."
What is the name of your imaginary friend?
Lennay Kekua
Do you believe in the president?
Too vague. Next
What is the name of your new religion?
I suscribe to George Carlin's proposed religion of worshipping the sun and praying to Joe Pesci. I don't think he named it. I think a good name would be "Go F*ck Yourself"
Do you like peanuts?
Will you give peas a chance?
Too stupid. Next
Do Indians really work at 7-11?
Too bigoty. Next
Why do they call Chili that when it is neither cold nor from the country?
Next
What do you taste like?
What did the last cat you petted look like?
Next
Are you afraid of water?
I'm hydrophilic
Are you kind?
Kinda
What if I told you your best friend is a alien?
Next
What Disney character best describes you?
Is that your real name?
Third base!
What are you thinking right now?
"I sure am putting a lot of effort into this thing that noone is going to read"
What are you sitting on right now?
Leather sofa
Do you support child labor?
Child? Nah
Did you like the last pool you swam in?
There was nothing wrong with the pool. I had a nice swim. Overall, I give the experience a B+
Do you like Chemistry?
Are bees evil?
I don't like bees, and bees don't like me. One time, I woke up with a bee on my chin. Another time, a bee stung me between my eyes. But evil? Nah. They're just being bees.
What do you hate the most?
People with zero self-awareness. You know the ones I'm talking about.
Do you say racial slurs?
I would never say a racial slur. But I will call a spade a spade...
Is cheese anything like boys?
I am also very random
What is the class in school that everyone should take and no one does?
There is no class in school that no one takes. If no one took it, it wouldn't be a class.
How does your life compare to others?
Which others? Some lives are really bad, while other ones are really good. What is life?
Is there a key to your heart?
I swallowed the key
Is there a animal in the room?
Nothing bigger than a bug.
What is your least favorite letter?
What type of bug did you last see?
Bugs here, bugs there, bugs every where. Every where you look is bugs. You cant find too many bugs because theres always more! Bugs are big, black, and gross, and theres lots of them. What do you think when you hear a bug? The grossest thing I ever seen was a big black bug on my arm. I screamed at it and started yelling. I looked down at my arm and i saw a bug crawling on it i started to cry. Bugs are gross if they are big. Little bugs can also be gross. My mom told me to squish a bug in the closet i found. The bug was flapping it wings at the light and to stop that bug i had to get there fast! With a fly swatter i hit it hard and the bug smashed down into the wall and i saw the bugs blood. The bugs head fell off. Its easy to get bugs if you have to. I cant find any in my room if i look, but thats the wrong place to look for bugs. You have to look in a different spot to find bugs. I saw ten bugs out in my back yard in one spot they were sitting. They didnt have any wings. So if you want a bug you have to get it. Their everywhere and you cant go without getting them in your hair if you go into a cave. Bugs dont have to sleep and they eat other bugs.
What is the name of you pants?
I'm tuckered out from answering the last question. Need a breather. Next
How good of a Hobo would you be?
Here is a list of required hobo skills, with a rating from 1-10 of my abilities in them:
-Drinking all the time (8) -Beard-growing (4) -Convincing people to give you money (5) -Dumpster-diving (1) -Riding a train through the dustscape of the American Southwest, following the mysterious, scarred transient who murdered my daughter, a man known among the hobos only as Mr. Shivers. The hobos said that when Father Time woke up Mr. Shivers was there waiting, just sitting on the ground beside him and smiling. They said he took his blade and cut Father Time across the hand and ran away laughing and from then on Father Time was bitter and cruel and gave every man hardship and ate every dream. (7)
What is your feelings on Chlorine?
Do you have a alter ego?
You're looking at it
What would Jesus do?
Next
Have you ever seen a Polar Bear?
Of course I have. They have these things called zoos,
What is the neatest thing you own?
Wade boggs autographed baseball?
Do you like Pirates or Vikings better?
The pirates are a longtime crappy team in a miserable city that I used to live in. I like the pirates and i wish them well in the national league. The vikings are a bunch of sex-boat-partying, favre-gun-for-hiring, purple sonsofbitches. I don't like the vikings.
What kind of heating is in your house?
I press the buttons on the wall and the house gets hotter
What does the word piano mean to you?
The same thing it means to everyone else
When is the last time you thought about sex?
When i was answering the mandrill question
Did you know Bob Marley?
Bob Marley was dead in the ground half a decade before I even existed. If you'd put any thought into this list of questions instead of copy and pasting it from someones god damn myspace or some sh*t you would have realized this. cr****
What would you do if you lived on the train tracks?
I'd become the manager of a fast food restaurant
Is it fair?
THERE IT GOES, IT'S A LONG DRIVE. IF IT STAYS FAIR....HOME RUN!
What are your feeling on Hitler?
Hitler, the KKK, and other stuff like that are all actually really good
Do you have accent?
I have a lot of cents. And a lot of sense. But I don't have accent
Is finding pubic hair ever a good thing?
Sure. Here's a scenario where finding a pubic hair would be a good thing: You've had alopecia since birth, and the doctors have put you on an experimental treatment to jump-start your hair growth. If you found a pubic hair after that, you'd be goddamn ecstatic.
Do you own art?
No, but I do own some sh*t that I can hang up on the walls
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
Next
What would you pay for a diamond?
Next
Do you love someone?
I'm deeply in love with the abstract concept of irony
If the men from Monty Python asked you would you get naked?
What? No. What???
Have you ever considered that you were not meant to be born a human?
Please refer to my answer to "To be or not to be?"
What would you do if you turned purple?
Resume breathing
Do you like superpowers?
No, I fricking hate superpowers. What kind of goofball question is that?
Do cows fall in love?
Next
Is there actually a Sci-fi tv show with good acting?
What is your singing range?
I'm reminded of a time, in 1968...naw, it was 74. Anyway, I was doin a gig down in mississippi. I'll never forget it cause it was the first time I got crabs. I used to sing, tenor
What does the word now make you think of?
What is your favorite combination of colors?
Would you kill someone over a sandal?
Sandals are overrated
Is there anything thicker then blood?
Blood is fairly viscous, but there are certainly liquids with a higher viscosity. Oil would be a good example, as would glycerine (very viscous!)
Does it suck to be you?
No way! Look at me - I've got the houseboat...I've got the 77' trans am (cherry). I'm gettin' chicks. All of my dreams are coming true
What is the most embarrassing DVD you own?
Most of my media is digital. I guess I've got a copy of hunger games I got in a yankee swap. That's sort of embarrassing, right?
Have you fallen in love with music?
Wouldn't be here if I hadn't
Have you ever considered stalking someone?
Nope. Next
Is Utopia a real place?
It was. Then bonnaroo stopped booking Jam Bands
What is the real truth on sharks?
Why do you think there's a real truth on sharks? Just curious. Do you think there's a fake truth? Again, not trying to step on any toes here, I just don't understand what you're asking here. If you don't feel comfortable explaining, that's OK. Thanks in advance for the info
I thoroughly enjoyed the movie, right up until the ending, which was just too silly. You have to draw a line.
How do you feel that Tara Reid wasn't invited to "Sharknado 2"?
Fine with it. Is lucy lawless available? She was good in Vampire Bats
If you were to do VIP who would be the other person you would go with?
My good friend boothead
You run out of gas on the interstate, no cell battery left, and the last exit was aprox 2 miles behind you, do you turn back or go forward?
Just 2 miles? That's a refreshing stroll. If I don't see any exit signs, I know the forward walk is at least a mile and probably longer. Especially if I'm in kansas or some sh*t.
Post by crazykittensmile on Jul 30, 2013 12:56:55 GMT -5
If you could pick Bonnaroo's 2014 top 10, who would they be? You apparently like jambands, are you a hippie? How do you feel about hippies? How do you feel about hugs? Which Bonnaroo was your personal favorite? What would you choose to eat for your last meal?
For some strange reason I have the urge to watch Lion King...hmmm
Did hipsters really ruin classic rock? If you were arrested, what would be the most likely reason? What is your favorite drink? Do you prefer to drive or fly when travelling?
If you could pick Bonnaroo's 2014 top 10, who would they be?
Led Zeppelin ft. Dave Grohl on drums - Rage Against the Machine - Foo Fighters The Allman Brothers Band - Queens of the Stone Age - The Raconteurs Iggy & The Stooges - Cake - Kid Cudi - Thievery Corporation
You apparently like jambands, are you a hippie?
I like metal, so I can't be a hippie.
How do you feel about hippies?
They have some good ideas, and a whole lot of silly ones. But they know how to party. Overall, I give hippies a B-
How do you feel about hugs?
Hugs are OK.
Which Bonnaroo was your personal favorite?
2012 by far. Everything went right, musically and otherwise
What would you choose to eat for your last meal?
I would want to be let loose in D's six pax and dogz in pittsburgh, where I could order as many heart-destroying hot dogs and bacon-cheese-fries as I wanted and drink myself silly in the beer cave. Then I would be ready to die
Hipsters aren't significant enough to ruin anything. Besides, classic rock isn't ruined.
If you were arrested, what would be the most likely reason?
Well, I haven't smoked crack in like 6 months, so it wouldn't be that. I dunno, let's go with tax fraud.
What is your favorite drink?
A nice cold craft beer on a hot day. I usually favor the Belgians, but my current favorite is Ithaca flower power IPA
Do you prefer to drive or fly when travelling?
I enjoy driving reasonable distances, especially with friends to share driving time with. I still prefer to fly if I'm going somewhere with decent public transportation where I won't need a car, though
I would want to be let loose in D's six pax and dogz in pittsburgh, where I could order as many heart-destroying hot dogs and bacon-cheese-fries as I wanted and drink myself silly in the beer cave. Then I would be ready to die
I find it interesting that both you and sang_xcx have such an affection for hot dogs. Twinsies!
What are the top 5 music festivals you haven't been to yet, but would love to check out if money was no object? What is the farthest you've traveled from home? What do you do for work? Is it any bit related to your degree in Chemistry? Do you like your job? Do you currently have any pets? How many bones have you broken?
I find it interesting that both you and sangreal have such an affection for hot dogs. Twinsies!
He likes CORN dogs
What are the top 5 music festivals you haven't been to yet, but would love to check out if money was no object?
Any one of a million euro fests that books good rock music (Pinkpop, pukkelpop, rock en seine, rock am ring, download, etc etc etc) Glastonbury Sasquatch Outside Lands Jam cruise
What is the farthest you've traveled from home?
By pure distance, san diego. Farthest i've gone outside the country is toronto.
What do you do for work? Is it any bit related to your degree in Chemistry?
I'm an unemployed graduate
Do you like your job?
Love it
Do you currently have any pets?
Nope
How many bones have you broken?
I broke my arm once when I was a kid falling down the stairs. I've had a few other bad falls, but my bones have hung tough other than that one incident
Post by crazykittensmile on Jul 30, 2013 14:56:34 GMT -5
My bad. But corn dogs are basically hot dogs, right? Speaking of sang_xcx, how did you come to use his (now blurred) face as your avatar? What's the story there? Did you know that some people still think sang_xcx is you when they meet him for the first time? When you came to San Diego, did you visit the zoo? Speaking of zoos, what is your favorite: mammal, bird, insect, fish, & reptile? (please answer them all) To your knowledge, is fulminated mercury as explosive/cool as it appeared to be on Breaking Bad? With your chemistry background, have you ever considered pulling a Walter White?
My bad. But corn dogs are basically hot dogs, right?
A square is basically a rectangle
Speaking of sangreal, how did you come to use his (now blurred) face as your avatar? What's the story there?
It was boot's avatar. I changed to it as a sign of solidarity when he was shown the door. Then, some Rude Gus of a moderator erased the "Free Boothead" text underneath. Free Boothead
Did you know that some people still think sangreal is you when they meet him for the first time?
I am truly sorry for the disappointment this must have caused when they learned the truth
When you came to San Diego, did you visit the zoo?
Here's my san diego zoo story: I crouched down in the aviary to look at a big bird that was chilling in the walkway. It started dancing around me and slapping me with its wing. Rude bird.
Speaking of zoos, what is your favorite: mammal, bird, insect, fish, & reptile? (please answer them all)
mammal
bird
insect
fish
(I like fishing)
reptile
(I had one as a pet)
To your knowledge, is fulminated mercury as explosive/cool as it appeared to be on Breaking Bad?
Not in the amount Walt was using. You would need a lot more to blow up a room like that
With your chemistry background, have you ever considered pulling a Walter White?
Sure, I've thought about it. I've spent more time thinking about how to turn laboratory glassware into pipes
My bad. Did you know that some people still think sangreal is you when they meet him for the first time?
I am truly sorry for the disappointment this must have caused when they learned the truth
quite a few of the responses were "so glad you're not emoney!" how do you feel about this? answer the question that everyone asks me "what is emoney's deal with you?" in other words why are you obsessed with me? what do you think about Vista Chino? will Nick ever rejoin QOTSA? what are you thoughts on Aaron Hernandez? Tim Tebow being on your team? can you make boothead the next board member of the month, with you answering the questions on the board since he can't do it himself?
Which is the one event that has had the biggest impact on you and your life?
Joining a fraternity
If you were stuck on a deserted island which one book, movie and person would you want to take along?
Book - Probably something long, so by the time I finish it I forget how it started. The Stand?
Movie - Puff, Puff Pass
Person - Hmm, who would be most useful in an ocean-based living situation? Duh. Kevin Costner
Why do women shave their armpits and men don’t?
blah blah blah societal standards yadda yadda yadda, who cares? What did you want me to say? Women have tiny gnomes that live in their body and can only escape via armpit hair. If they are not set free by shaving, they return to the body and make her butt flat
What is the one thing that disgusts you?
People who are hardcore die-hard fans of the sports programs of a college they never attended, obviously.
If you were to die tomorrow what are the things you would want to do before you die?
Live for another 30 or 40 years
What was your favorite toy as a child?
Mario's Cement Factory
If you could spend a night with a celebrity who would it be? Why?
I'm going to choose to interpret "spend a night with" as "party all night", and then I'm going to subvert the expectations I just created by naming Grace Potter. I talked to a bartender once who told me she passed out drunk behind the bar next to a dumpster after a show once. Fun!
Which movie title would best depict your life story? Why?
Well, I got lucky here, because there's a movie that finished production that matches the song title that I would use to answer this question. Apparently, Olivia Wilde is in it. Anyway, the title is Better Living Through Chemistry.
If you could be a car which one would it be and why?
No explanation required
When you are alone what do you most enjoy doing?
Doing things to make myself not alone. So, either chatting, or online vidya games
If you could be a politician who would it be? Why?
Dennis Kucinich. Not only does he seem like an honest guy whose positions I generally agree with, he happens to be married to a Very Attractive Person. I guess he's retired now?
When did you first travel by airplane and where?
I probably did a few winter trips to florida back before I started forming lasting memories
If you were gay who would want to have a passionate affair with?
Too easy. Josh Homme, my ginger idol. Next
What did you do on your prom night?
You're in luck! Here's some Real video footage of my prom night:
If you could marry a cartoon character who would it be? Why?
Generally, my first impulse is to make fun of people who want to marry cartoon characters. Cartoons aren't real. To avoid that trap, I will provide a practical answer and go with Cheryl (Carol?) Tunt. She's loaded (In cartoon world, which isn't real. Cartoons aren't real.)
What do you love and hate the most about the human race?
This question requires me to think in a philisophical manner, which I find tedious. So, too bad for you.
Who is the first person that you think about when you get up in the morning?
Me. I'm very important to me.
What was your first tattoo or piercing and where is it? What does it stand for?
quite a few of the responses were "so glad you're not emoney!" how do you feel about this? answer the question that everyone asks me "what is emoney's deal with you?" in other words why are you obsessed with me?
Sorry, I'm not going to respond to Troll questions. Fly away, troll
what do you think about Vista Chino?
I haven't listened to a note. I don't know if they've even released any original music. I appreciate them playing kyuss songs for me a few years ago, though.
will Nick ever rejoin QOTSA?
On stage? Eventually. On a few more songs in the studio? Sure. As a member of the band? No way
what are you thoughts on Aaron Hernandez? Tim Tebow being on your team?
Aaron hernandez is a huge dumbass for having literally a million-dollar oppurtunity to get out of his thug life and blowing it spectacularly. Also for being really bad at covering up his crimes.
Tebow, whatever. Pats always bring a ton of random dudes into camp for competition, this guy just happens to be a bit more high-profile. If he continues to suck at QB, he'll get cut. I'm beginning to respect the guy just for how long he hangs out signing autographs after practices, though.
can you make boothead the next board member of the month, with you answering the questions on the board since he can't do it himself?
I've already chosen the next bmotm. He's a unique weasel. Mods, feel free to Free Boothead so he can do it in September, though.
quite a few of the responses were "so glad you're not emoney!" how do you feel about this? answer the question that everyone asks me "what is emoney's deal with you?" in other words why are you obsessed with me?
Sorry, I'm not going to respond to Troll questions. Fly away, troll
these were serious questions. these things were really said to me. enquiring minds want to know.