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oh good lord... I bet you all believe in fairly tales too...
"just be yourself" "friends first"
Good god.
Please tell me you don't actually believe that stuff...
First, I didn't say I subscribe to the "friends first" notion.
Secondly, you're damn right I believe in being yourself! I don't know what kind of person YOU like to date, but I want the guys I let into my home/heart/bed to be honest from Day 1. Sure, I've got a fairly well-calibrated BS meter, but geeeeez, man. It sounds like you're saying that being real and displaying your true colors is not a desirable quality.
Playing any "angle" that diminishes your true self or intentions is a misrepresentation of the package you're selling. As someone in sales, surely you realize that's how you lose customers. Can you imagine if people could sue their dates for false representation...
Ok, Im sober, and I really don't feel like posting crap about relationships here.
I will shoot you a little bit of advice (or insight, if that word is more appropriate?) LD:
Once you are in the friend zone with a girl, there is no way out of it (unless of course it was you who put her there). Women want to be swept off their feet. They want to be with a guy who gets their blood pumping and 'takes' them, like caveman times kinda. That is what amps attraction in women. Not showing her how sweet of a guy you are then "SURPRISE! I want to date you!"
You want to talk about being yourself? So BE YOURSELF. If you like a girl, GO FOR IT. Don't try to be nice, become her bestie then try and convince her that she should date you. THAT is dishonest. Like it or not, you got about 15 minutes to build enough attraction with a woman to be able to date her or hook up with her or whatever you wanted from this particular girl. So why the heck do guys think its ok to play the sweet innocent role when in the back of our minds we are thinking about pulling her hair and shoving her against a wall...you know the rest.
So I say go for it. Its more honest. And they know you want them anyways. So all you are putting out there by hiding it is the fact that you are trying to be sneaky and slip around the right flank and kidnap the booty. Doesnt work that way.
Women can smell bullshit like that from miles away.
Women want to be swept off their feet. They want to be with a guy who gets their blood pumping and 'takes' them, like caveman times kinda. That is what amps attraction in women. Not showing her how sweet of a guy you are then "SURPRISE! I want to date you!"
This crap lasts about 3 months.
I married my best friend. He's seen me through the worst hells anyone can imagine. He bent down by my wheel chair and said he would die for me right before they took out the cancer. And he meant it.
Yeah yeah, I know all about the eight second rule and the ladder theory.
I dunno what I was thinking last night when I wrote that. My inner Ted Mosby was being channeled again or something. I just have a feeling that's the best route to go - even though its less "successful" than the "normal" route.
Last Edit: Jan 7, 2012 8:27:14 GMT -5 by LD - Back to Top
I just battled the Antivirus Live malware virus for like....2 hours. Hard drive, saved. All personal photos/files, saved. MUSIC, saved .Laptop....saved.
I just battled the Antivirus Live malware virus for like....2 hours. Hard drive, saved. All personal photos/files, saved. MUSIC, saved .Laptop....saved.
Take for example... I've known some gal for a few months. Hey Liz, why can't we go out on a date? Oh, I like you. You're a nice guy. But you're just a friend, I don't see you like that. Because some other guy is better looking? Because I'm alright but imperfect? If we ain't that close, why not give it a shot? What do you really have to lose?
LD, my best piece of advice: stop giving a fuck about "why?", or rejection in general. Want to know, more than any single thing, what women find attractive? Confidence. Just be confident. The ugliest kid in my high school dated one of the hottest girls because he was a confident asshole, not kidding. I used to not be able to wrap my head around it, but eventually I realized that good looks only really matter if you're a) incredibly good looking (like, Zoolander-level good looking), or b) in a college setting where things devolve in some giant stew of alcohol, drugs and bad decisions based on blood flow to certain parts of your body. In college you just listen to your nether-regions and chase things like your dick is some kind of sexual divine rod or something.
But if you're just trying to go up to a girl at a bar? Confidence.
Oh, and the trick to having a conversation that lasts more than the initial 30 second introduction/ice breaker? Question. Ask her questions because women are probably going to be more comfortable talking about themselves than initiating the conversation with a guy who just approached them.
But if you're wondering more why you get friend-zoned, it's probably a combination of you waiting too long to make a move and being super-nice for fear of pissing the girl off. If I'm off base, just ignore me, but I used to kind of be the same way. Now I usually don't wait more than a few days or a week if I intend to ask a girl out. Sometimes I'll just ask them when I meet them if things go well.
Just be confident and screw a girl (not literally) if she doesn't want to go out. It's not the end of the world if you get rejected. Hell, I have a friend who gets rejected all the time, but I also don't know anyone who goes on more dates than he does.
This wasn't a sober response, btw. Pre-gaming for Fordham/Xavier in the Bronx. F-UUUU F-U F-U F-UUUUUU, F-UUUUU, F-UUUUUU. I'm going to go hit on some college girls and make some bad decisions. WHO'S COMING WITH ME!?
I just battled the Antivirus Live malware virus for like....2 hours. Hard drive, saved. All personal photos/files, saved. MUSIC, saved .Laptop....saved.
Oh college, those were the fun days and shit didn't matter. Or until the morning after and you woke up next to her.
As for now, as said...I dunno why I wrote that sober. LD looks pretty... wait, I already admitted to the whole aspergers and pathetic self confidence thing. So, yeah. How did I regress since my senior year?
Women want to be swept off their feet. They want to be with a guy who gets their blood pumping and 'takes' them, like caveman times kinda. That is what amps attraction in women. Not showing her how sweet of a guy you are then "SURPRISE! I want to date you!"
This crap lasts about 3 months.
I married my best friend. He's seen me through the worst hells anyone can imagine. He bent down by my wheel chair and said he would die for me right before they took out the cancer. And he meant it.
This lasts forever.
Agree. Wholeheartedly. On the second part. I believe that ANY good lasting marriage, both parts of the couple feel that they married their best friend.
Which can start like the first part.
I believe that passionate relationships begin passionately. A passionate friendship that evolves is one (albeit lower percentage) possibility. It happens, and when it does, it is fantastic. More often than not, though, solid marriages begin with a man sweeping a woman off her feet, massive connection physically/mentally until something called "NRE" wears off, then they find themselves not only attracted to each other and in love with each other in a big way, but also the closest of friends.
Passionate relationships begin passionately.
And LD, all you need is a few successes. There are a few simple things you can do to get more attention from women around you, which in turn builds confidence (artificially at first, but eventually it sinks in that women should not intimidate) and in turn you become just more attractive. Confidence is an absolute KEY and without it...you are showing up to a bazooka fight with a nail file.
I got 10 hours of sleep last night!!! I have long bouts with insomnia where I get 3-5 hours of sleep MAX a night (and it is never good sleep either) I crashed about 1 AM and got up at just before noon! Feels SOOO good! I wish I could get sleep like this EVERY night
This wasn't a sober response, btw. Pre-gaming for Fordham/Xavier in the Bronx. F-UUUU F-U F-U F-UUUUUU, F-UUUUU, F-UUUUUU. I'm going to go hit on some college girls and make some bad decisions. WHO'S COMING WITH ME!?
So I have been selling (hard selling, soft selling, in-between selling) my really, really good friend on Roo for 3 years now.
He loves music of all kinds, but gets anxiety around crowds and his ex g/f (EDIT: Ex starting in '09) has gone the past 3 years (so it was awkward for him to see her).
Welp, his ex picked Coachella over Roo pre-lineups, so that coupled with some peer pressure from my Roo Crew and my buddy Alex is in the fold! I know this is basically meaningless to all of you, but Alex is one of my closest friends and a huge fan of good music, so this is a big win for me.
I probably should have thrown this in the drunken rants thread, but as far as I'm concerned every thread is my drunken rant thread.
Last Edit: Jan 8, 2012 16:55:18 GMT -5 by flanzonyc - Back to Top
He's always wanted to go, but his anxiety always held him back. Well, we eeked him into bigger crowds little by little.
He went to Phish at MSG with about 20,000 people and (in his words) had "a magical experience".
He decided being surrounded by three of his closest friends would give him the sense of security he needed. I literally have the cash to buy his ticket in-hand. He wanted me to have it so he couldn't back out.
Women want to be swept off their feet. They want to be with a guy who gets their blood pumping and 'takes' them, like caveman times kinda. That is what amps attraction in women. Not showing her how sweet of a guy you are then "SURPRISE! I want to date you!"
This crap lasts about 3 months.
I married my best friend. He's seen me through the worst hells anyone can imagine. He bent down by my wheel chair and said he would die for me right before they took out the cancer. And he meant it.
This lasts forever.
^^this is what is real!
Boz and I date back when we were 18 and 19 - dated for close to 2 years - we split - moved on - I got married, had kids - he didn't.
14 years later, I'm divorced - I hunt him down - I wanted a friend - a guy friend that I could hang out with with my daughters around - someone I trusted - 3 months later on bended knee in NOLA, he asked me to marry him and 6 months later we were married (less than a year after my divorce was final and just 13 months after my ex walked out on my and the girls)
My point is - I wasn't looking for this - and sometimes, when you quit looking - it smacks you right between the eyes and you end up with the (this sounds sappy) person that completes you, your soul mate, your best friend for life.
I guess I am just not on here enough. 
