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...who rolled out of the car Friday morning yelling at his wife. Stuff the board forbids repeating. He got progressively drunker and drunker until early afternoon, always yelling, until he and his wife finally disappeared into the show.
They weren't our immediate neighbors, but keeping quiet was difficult. For personal reasons (not family, but personal) I get extremely angry when I see men abusing women in any way. I've stopped it before. But normally if he's not hitting her I don't get involved.
Saturday morning, though, it got worse. He went from yelling at her to alternately yelling and whining in this high-pitched drunken wail. Never once touched her. But I had enough by ten or so and I yelled over: "FUCKING HOLD IT DOWN OVER THERE!"
Silence all around. Then some crosstalk between the two of us, which faded. After a few quiet minutes he stormed by, apologized curtly in passing, and headed towards Centeroo alone. His wife stayed at their tent; we hung out waiting for Ben Sollee.
An hour later he came back much quieter. I took beers over and found him sitting cross-legged drinking airline nips of Jack Daniels one after another. He had a gallon bag full of them. I handed him a beer -- because what further harm could a Miller Lite's worth of alcohol have done by then? -- introduced myself, and told him it sounded like they were having a tough weekend.
He was crying inside of thirty seconds. Just awful drunken babble about everything…ashamed of himself, missing his kids, poor excuse for a husband, couldn't afford to come to Bonnaroo but did it anyway, and so on.
Then his wife came out of the tent and I realized she had junkie skin.
I hung out for a couple more minutes, listening to him, until my friends and I left for Ben Sollee. When we came back later they were gone. Packed up and split. It was still daylight Saturday.
I figure leaving was her idea; that she'd had enough of him for one weekend. Bad enough that he was being an ass to her, but now he was pissing the neighbors off, too. Time to cut her losses.
But the junkie skin still bothers me. He had told me they had kids together; maybe she feels like she needs him. And I imagine she gets high so she can cope with it.
Or -- who the hell knows. Maybe I've got it all backward.
Last Edit: Aug 15, 2011 0:51:11 GMT -5 by Deleted - Back to Top
"Junkie skin", maybe he drinks to deal with her addiction. Addiction make a person do crazy things. I think you saw the real person when he broke down with in 30 seconds of you talking to him. The other him was the alcohol.
This is the first message board I've ever been on, the only reason I joined is because I love Bonnaroo and wanted to read and talk about it all year long.
You did a wonderful thing by reaching out to this man. The story is likely extremely complex. Addiction takes a wonderful, gentle, intelligent person and turns them into a scheming, lying sack of crap. Often the ones closest to the action are similarly affected as they try to find ways to cope either by using themselves, or by trying to rationalize the behavior. I'm going through this right now with someone very, very close to me.
The saddest thing is that children are involved with the couple you met. I'm sorry that you are haunted by the experience but know that you did a good thing by reaching out. And let's all send prayers/karma/good thoughts towards this couple and all who are in the talons of addiction.
This kind of thing is so common. I remember eating breakfast in a diner in Boston once, and the short-order cook was telling the customer next to me what an honor it was to be trusted with a cash register and a key to the business. It struck me as a weird conversation so I checked the cook out pretty thoroughly as I was eating, and I noticed that he had veins inside his elbows like caterpillars burrowed under the skin. Scarring from way back. And I realized what a temptation a full cash register must've been to him, even after years of recovery.
Yeah, I know how tough it can be. My ex-girlfriend of about a year or so was addicted to heroin before we dated, though I've known her for years and knew her during the worst of her addiction. She would steal anything from anyone in her family (money, jewelry, clothes, xbox games, other drugs even) just in hopes that somehow it would get her closer to a fix. She relapsed once when we were dating and it was terrifying to me. It's really crazy to me how much it can change a person.
Last year, this coked-up couple down the row from us spent literally 4 hours fighting one night. It was the most ridiculous crap I've ever heard, I wish I could have seen it. It went like this:
Girl: F*CK you! We're through, that's it! Guy: Fine! I don't need you, or your mom's money anymore! I'm moving out! Girl: Why are you always such an a*shole to me???? *crying, angry* Guy: What are you talking about? You start this crap, not me! Girl: *yells something* Guy: WHAT THE HELL? YOU JUST KICKED ME IN THE BALLS! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, I'VE NEVER TOUCHED YOU! Girl: YOU DESERVE IT! Guy: NO I DON'T! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? That's it *girl apparently tries to go in their tent* Guy: Oh no you don't, you get the f*ck out of MY tent. It's MY tent.
At this point, we stood up so we could kind of see what was going on. The guy pulled the girl out, then:
Girl: F*CK YOU! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT LINE EARLIER TOGETHER, AND YOU JUST DID IT BY YOURSELF! Guy: YOU DID THE REST OF IT BEFORE! *more arguing, then a male scream* Guy: WHAT THE HELL? YOU JUST BURNED ME WITH A CIGARETTE! THAT'S IT, I HAVE MARKS, I'M CALLING THE COPS AND YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL! Girl: *sobbing, yelling at him* Guy: Get YOUR junk out of MY car. *Starts tossing her stuff out of the trunk* *Girl kicks him* Guy: DON'T F*CKING KICK ME, YOU PSYCHO! Girl: STOP BREAKING MY STUFF! Guy: I'M NOT BREAKING IT, YOU WHORE!
This went on and on until someone walked over and tried to break it up. We could have done something, but coked up people aren't really reasoned with and we didn't want to get burned with a cigarette.
Post by Enlightened1 on Aug 22, 2011 7:10:08 GMT -5
Me, I would have got involved. Coked up people may not be reasoned with but usually all you have to do is let them know to cool out before the cops come and take them both to jail for possesion. These cases just show Bonnaroo is not the place to have an arguement. It's supposed to be a great time, if you cant get along with who you are with head on in to Centeroo find some music and kind people and everything will be better.
