Poly Meet-Up at Roo?

Ahahaha, you don't waste time flirting, do you? I'll be with my husband, but the possibilities of Roo as poly folk are putting a new spin on things this year!

Haha I think you guys are getting poly lifestyle confused with some type of swinging. But as Lono said whatever floats your boat. Have fun

This thread sure is something

I'm not getting anything confused. Everyone defines poly in their own way. Our particular flavor of non-monogamy allows for casual hook-ups, at least for now. That's not necessarily what I'm looking for at Roo, but just knowing that I'm back on the market makes even looking more fun than it used to.

Also, there is a difference between polyamorous and polyfidelity. But anyways...

I work at an on-premise swing club. Always looking to meet new people that live an alternative lifestyle

their partners

duh. I just wonder about the dynamics. How a couple decides to enter into this lifestyle, how it affects their relationship, what if they get attached to another person, how do you safeguard against jealousy (face it, we're all human)...etc.

^^ and I have nothing wrong with that. Whatever works, as long as no one is getting hurt. I just can't imagine most couples being secure enough with themselves or their partner to stand up to this lifestyle over time.

Of course, what would I know. I am far from qualified to state what constitutes a secure relationship...trust me.

I'm a nurse and I come across many patients who have been married for decades. I make a habit of asking them "What's the secret to a happy marriage?" One 91 year old man replied, "Being faithful." and went on to describe the opportunities he had to cheat on his wife with other women. By the wistful look on his face, I can only assume they were very attractive and desirable women. He described how he had turned down these women even though his wife would have likely never found out. He worked in the city and could have easily slept with them in the city before traveling home. I asked him if he regretted not taking advantage of those opportunities. Without hesitation, he stated, "Oh, yes."

I love my husband. I don't want him to be 91 years old and regret not lying to me in order to have experienced life a little fuller. I also don't want to be 91 and regret not having explored my sexuality to its fullest. So I started doing some research, we started talking and we started exploring. So far we've each slept with someone outside of the marriage. (They happened to be two halves of a married couple, not planned that way! We didn't seek out a couple, we just happened to like them independently. Their experience in poly has been helpful to us.) I'm seeing the guy on a regular basis and he's keeping in touch with her and has several promising dates coming up. I'm seeking more dates at the moment.

So, there you have it. It's only been 3 months, but I feel really good about it. I think there's a lot of people out there who do this successfully that you never hear about. You just hear about the ones that screw it up.

i dated a poly guy for a hot second at the beginning of this year. he has a primary partner but they both saw people outside of their relationship (sometimes real dating relationships and sometimes just sex relationships). his primary knew when the two of us were together, etc. there were never any secrets between the two of them about where they were/who they were with.

it would have never evolved into anything serious for me, i too, am not huge into sharing. the way they seemed to view it was that they both had extreme amounts of love (and sex, haha) to give and didn't want to limit it to one other person.

Aren't jealousy and possessiveness major roadblocks for the poly lifestyle? Poly intrigues me, but I just don't see myself getting past the jealousy. The openness and honesty are very appealing though.

Since when do you have to be in a poly-relationship to be open and honest with another person?

Jealousy can be worked on. When you are feeling insecure, you tell your partner what you need to feel better. It's a hurdle. Oddly, my reaction to getting the news that my husband got laid the first time was to grin uncontrollably. I was not expecting that! It helped a lot that I know the person, like her and am sleeping with her husband.



I'm not sure what sort of participation you would be worried about. It's not like we'd all remove our clothes, fall into each other and talk about how everything is connected with love or some BS. I imagine hanging out, chatting and meeting like-minded folk. Okay, well, there's likely to be a lot of flirting! Incidentally, the first experience I had with our local poly discussion group was a game night at a couple's house. I was struck by how put-together, intelligent, interesting, stable and nice everyone was. I walked away thinking "We can do this! These people are exceedingly normal." ;D

this is taking me back to haight ashbury in the summer of 69. even though I wasn't there.