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I asked one of my lady coworkers to get a drink with me tonight and she agreed. My other lady coworker, who I have a history with is now apparently tagging along (presumably because she was asked to join). To maintain my own sanity, I asked one of my dude friends on this job to join us. I also asked my boss to come. This could get really interesting.
update on this situation ASAP please and thank you.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
Alright. I hate to disappoint, but the night wasn't too ridiculous. I met up with the girl I'm interested with in the Hub (the staff/actor respite area/break room place) when she got off work. Some people who were working with her, one of which I despise, followed her downstairs to the break room and wouldn't stop talking and this girl "checked her phone" while I played solitaire and avoided response/eye contact. She eventually left with her friend and I slowly and intentionally melodramatically made the slow descent into collapsing onto the table in giggly frustration as this girl whispered apology into my ear saying how she knows I loathe this other person and she just followed her. Anyway, this is totally irrelevant, but you all know how verbose I can be, so here we are. The girl I have a history with showed up about fifteen minutes later, we met and walked over to the bar. My boss didn't join us (and was apparently disappointed that she couldn't), but my buddy from work ended up coming with us. He worked sound at Eaux Claires last weekend so we just ended up chatting music festivals while these two girls got all chummy. The girl I'm interested with's roommate showed up, so I chatted her up to make her feel more comfortable, since there was far too much isolated work chatter going on. It was a pretty innocuous evening. She drank two beers and got pretty drunk, I was really friendly and everything went well, I think I'm a relatively charming dude, but she went home a little after her roommate and then this other girl offered to have me spend the night at her house. I, like a goddamn horny fool, agreed to meet her at her place after I was finished shooting the shit with John. Me and him talked outside this bar for about an hour and a half, we took turns urinating outside the door of what can only be described as a service entrance to a restaurant near downtown Minneapolis, then I hopped on my bike and went over to this other girl's house. She told me she was seeing someone, she told me it was an open relationship nearing a committed one, then somehow we fooled around, had some great sex, generally enjoyed each other for about an hour, then went to sleep. In the morning she told me her boyfriend thinks I'm really cool and wants to be my friend and she explained to me that this girl I'm into thinks I'm funny and genuine and interesting, but she's just in an anti-guys state of mind right now and also that she thinks being in a relationship with me would be weird because I have a sexual history with this other girl. Basically this girl I keep wind up sleeping with is becoming great friends with this other girl who I'd actually be very interested in pursuing a relationship with and that situation is ruining my chances of making something real happen.
I genuinely have no fucking idea how to not write too much.
edit. tl;dr Sure, I had sex last night, but with the wrong person and for the wrong reasons.
Favorite part of this is how he prefaces with "I hate to disappoint, but the night wasn't too ridiculous" and then goes on to tell a story that most certainly qualifies as a pretty ridiculous Wednesday night in my book, and I'm pretty ridiculous myself.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
I completely forgot a weird detail of this story. The girl who I went home with who has a boyfriend, yeah, he works in the same building as I do. She told him I was spending the night that night for some reason. Yesterday's passing eye contact was interesting, to say the least.
And Rummy 500, if you get me a little drunk and put me around the right people, there's really no limit to the amount of weird that will come out. As far as weird nights go, that doesn't even touch the surface. We should hangout.
Also, there is another Opening Night party for this play called Stage Kiss at the Guthrie tonight, so I'll be getting drunk and fed for free then I'm gonna hit on some actresses and some of the other beautiful women that work in the building. Might have some stories for you all tomorrow morning.
I completely forgot a weird detail of this story. The girl who I went home with who has a boyfriend, yeah, he works in the same building as I do. She told him I was spending the night that night for some reason. Yesterday's passing eye contact was interesting, to say the least.
I am so baffled by this. I am not trying to judge people who are okay the "open relationship" thing, as it is none of my business what works for others, but I do not think I am built for such a concept. There is no way I could accept that the person I love is being sexually intimate with other people. Perhaps I am a prude.
And Rummy 500, if you get me a little drunk and put me around the right people, there's really no limit to the amount of weird that will come out. As far as weird nights go, that doesn't even touch the surface. We should hangout.
I love weird ppl (as in, blatantly refuse to befriend normal/boring humans); I'm so in. Set it up. And bring that girl and her bf. They sound fun.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
I completely forgot a weird detail of this story. The girl who I went home with who has a boyfriend, yeah, he works in the same building as I do. She told him I was spending the night that night for some reason. Yesterday's passing eye contact was interesting, to say the least.
I am so baffled by this. I am not trying to judge people who are okay the "open relationship" thing, as it is none of my business what works for others, but I do not think I am built for such a concept. There is no way I could accept that the person I love is being sexually intimate with other people. Perhaps I am a prude.
Totally different strokes for different folks thing there. I'm not sure how successfully I could do full-on poly, mostly because it just seems so complicated and time-consuming, like idk if I have the time and energy to be emotionally invested in 2 or 3 or 4 people at once. Sounds a bit exhausting haha. But I'm just not a very sexually jealous person at all and think human connection shouldn't be as limited as our modern society tries to make it; so long as there is open communication and boundaries set and all. I think the idea of my lover enjoying someone else on a physical level can be exciting and sexy.
Doesn't make you a prude at all. I think some people fall way far over on the spectrum of strictly monogamous and not being able to imagine another alternative, whereas others fall way far over towards being super poly and not ever wanting to be monogamously committed to just one partner. And then lots of individuals in between! But people do forget that monogamy is a very very modern accepted norm, when in comparison to how humans have lived since they came into existence.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
I am so baffled by this. I am not trying to judge people who are okay the "open relationship" thing, as it is none of my business what works for others, but I do not think I am built for such a concept. There is no way I could accept that the person I love is being sexually intimate with other people. Perhaps I am a prude.
Totally different strokes for different folks thing there. I'm not sure how successfully I could do full-on poly, mostly because it just seems so complicated and time-consuming, like idk if I have the time and energy to be emotionally invested in 2 or 3 or 4 people at once. Sounds a bit exhausting haha. But I'm just not a very sexually jealous person at all and think human connection shouldn't be as limited as our modern society tries to make it; so long as there is open communication and boundaries set and all. I think the idea of my lover enjoying someone else on a physical level can be exciting and sexy.
Doesn't make you a prude at all. I think some people fall way far over on the spectrum of strictly monogamous and not being able to imagine another alternative, whereas others fall way far over towards being super poly and not ever wanting to be monogamously committed to just one partner. And then lots of individuals in between! But people do forget that monogamy is a very very modern accepted norm, when in comparison to how humans have lived since they came into existence.
I am certainly not the type that needs to be committed to another person, as I have been single and somewhat promiscuous for a much longer portion of my adult life than I have been in a relationship. However, once I have made a commitment (I am currently engaged), I could not imagine a situation in which I could handle my fiance, for example, having any sexual interaction with anyone else while we are together. I suppose I definitely have that sexual jealousy. I understand what leads people to cheat, but if I was cheated on, it would be almost impossible for me to come back from that with the person who cheated on me. In my opinion, that is never an acceptable way to deal with some other issue in the relationship, and it is a total dealbreaker.
Ok, I went off on a tangent there. Obviously if one is in an open relationship, then it would not be cheating, but that is my disconnect with the concept.
Totally different strokes for different folks thing there. I'm not sure how successfully I could do full-on poly, mostly because it just seems so complicated and time-consuming, like idk if I have the time and energy to be emotionally invested in 2 or 3 or 4 people at once. Sounds a bit exhausting haha. But I'm just not a very sexually jealous person at all and think human connection shouldn't be as limited as our modern society tries to make it; so long as there is open communication and boundaries set and all. I think the idea of my lover enjoying someone else on a physical level can be exciting and sexy.
Doesn't make you a prude at all. I think some people fall way far over on the spectrum of strictly monogamous and not being able to imagine another alternative, whereas others fall way far over towards being super poly and not ever wanting to be monogamously committed to just one partner. And then lots of individuals in between! But people do forget that monogamy is a very very modern accepted norm, when in comparison to how humans have lived since they came into existence.
I am certainly not the type that needs to be committed to another person, as I have been single and somewhat promiscuous for a much longer portion of my adult life than I have been in a relationship. However, once I have made a commitment (I am currently engaged), I could not imagine a situation in which I could handle my fiance, for example, having any sexual interaction with anyone else while we are together. I suppose I definitely have that sexual jealousy. I understand what leads people to cheat, but if I was cheated on, it would be almost impossible for me to come back from that with the person who cheated on me. In my opinion, that is never an acceptable way to deal with some other issue in the relationship, and it is a total dealbreaker.
Ok, I went off on a tangent there. Obviously if one is in an open relationship, then it would not be cheating, but that is my disconnect with the concept.
Right - I don't think cheating is okay, at all!! Open and poly relationships only function successfully if there are clearly established boundaries and constantly open communication/room for adjustment if one partner isn't happy with the current arrangements anymore, etc. If those boundaries/rules are broken, then that is cheating. I take such issue with how modern society seems to have created this one definition of cheating, as if that's what applies to ALL people and ALL relationships. For example, if a couple is open but says sex with others without protection is a hard limit that they will not break, and one partner breaks that, they are cheating. Within the bounds of their relationship, they have gone against what was agreed upon and that is not okay. For another couple, they might think hand holding is cheating. I may find that absurd, but for them, that is what works, so if one of them were to hold hands with another person, it is cheating. Even though many others wouldn't agree for their own personal relationships and boundaries that hand holding is problematic.
In response to the part that I italicized, I just want to agree that yes, going off and fucking other people because there are issues in your relationship yet your partner is not okay with you doing this - that is an immature and selfish act, undoubtedly. But people who actively pursue open or poly relationships, and do so maturely and successfully, aren't doing it because of problems within their relationship, looking for an out, or anything of the sort. They're just finding a different way to engage in a relationship than the mono-centric norm encourages.
Also went on a tangent Point is, cheating (as in, literally cheating on the "rules" that have been established between two, or more, partners) is a terrible thing to do but is entirely context and relationship dependent. What is cheating to one may not to be to another.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
I am certainly not the type that needs to be committed to another person, as I have been single and somewhat promiscuous for a much longer portion of my adult life than I have been in a relationship. However, once I have made a commitment (I am currently engaged), I could not imagine a situation in which I could handle my fiance, for example, having any sexual interaction with anyone else while we are together. I suppose I definitely have that sexual jealousy. I understand what leads people to cheat, but if I was cheated on, it would be almost impossible for me to come back from that with the person who cheated on me. In my opinion, that is never an acceptable way to by Browser AdBlocker"> deal with some other issue in the relationship, and it is a total dealbreaker.
Ok, I went off on a tangent there. Obviously if one is in an open relationship, then it would not be cheating, but that is my disconnect with the concept.
Right - I don't think cheating is okay, at all!! Open and poly relationships only function successfully if there are clearly established boundaries and constantly open communication/room for adjustment if one partner isn't happy with the current arrangements anymore, etc. If those boundaries/rules are broken, then that is cheating. I take such issue with how modern society seems to have created this one definition of cheating, as if that's what applies to ALL people and ALL relationships. For example, if a couple is open but says sex without protection, and one partner breaks that, they are cheating. Within the bounds of their relationship, they have gone against what was agreed upon and that is not okay. For another couple, they might think hand holding is cheating. I may find that absurd, but for them, that is what works, so if one of them were to hold hands with another person, it is cheating. Even though many others wouldn't agree for their own personal relationships and boundaries that hand holding is problematic.
Also went on a tangent Point is, cheating (as in, literally cheating on the "rules" that have been established between two, or more, partners) is a terrible thing to do but is entirely context and relationship dependent. What is cheating to one may not to be to another.
Your explanation certainly makes sense within those parameters. It also re-confirms that I am simply not built for anything beyond my relatively quite strict relationship boundaries/rules.
Post by g a b f r a b on Jul 24, 2015 19:18:19 GMT -5
For me I'm not jealous about my partner having sex with someone else. In fact I think it's kind of a sexy idea that can help keep a relationship from growing stale. My jealousy comes in when they have an emotional connection with someone else. I wish it were different but that just makes me feel all shitty and jealous in ways I can't help and don't like.
For me I'm not jealous about my partner having sex with someone else. In fact I think it's kind of a sexy idea that can help keep a relationship from growing stale. My jealousy comes in when they have an emotional connection with someone else. I wish it were different but that just makes me feel all shitty and jealous in ways I can't help and don't like.
For me I'm not jealous about my partner having sex with someone else. In fact I think it's kind of a sexy idea that can help keep a relationship from growing stale. My jealousy comes in when they have an emotional connection with someone else. I wish it were different but that just makes me feel all shitty and jealous in ways I can't help and don't like.
I think you're my soulmate.
I'm not convinced you fully know what you're getting in to, but will be fun to watch either way
For me I'm not jealous about my partner having sex with someone else. In fact I think it's kind of a sexy idea that can help keep a relationship from growing stale. My jealousy comes in when they have an emotional connection with someone else. I wish it were different but that just makes me feel all shitty and jealous in ways I can't help and don't like.
I think you're my soulmate.
I recommend his blog to anyone. Good writing on interesting topics.
For me I'm not jealous about my partner having sex with someone else. In fact I think it's kind of a sexy idea that can help keep a relationship from growing stale. My jealousy comes in when they have an emotional connection with someone else. I wish it were different but that just makes me feel all shitty and jealous in ways I can't help and don't like.
I think you're my soulmate.
I grew up an hour from Manitoba. When I head home this summer I'll jack one into the river and see if it floats across the border. If it does then I expect you to get working on our baby.
I grew up an hour from Manitoba. When I head home this summer I'll jack one into the river and see if it floats across the border. If it does then I expect you to get working on our baby.
For me I'm not jealous about my partner having sex with someone else. In fact I think it's kind of a sexy idea that can help keep a relationship from growing stale. My jealousy comes in when they have an emotional connection with someone else. I wish it were different but that just makes me feel all shitty and jealous in ways I can't help and don't like.
I think you're my soulmate.
Wtf you're using the same line as you did on me!!! Haha and in relation to expressing pretty much the exact same concept.
But yes agreed with everything above. Sexually open can be fun and liberating and sexy. Emotionally open is much more tricky and I'm not sure if I would be able to do it successfully. But depends on the person and situation for sure. Could see it working for me in some possible contexts.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
Gabfrab - not so fast , how do I know we have an emotional connection yet ? Where did you grow up, Pembina? JFG - first thing I did was creep the guy hahaha Rummy - you what we have is special , but you're emotionally invested in someone else .. I can't compete in the race to your heart. I'm just another one of your love pawns. And exactly - seems like he might be a good candidate for third no ....? He paraphrased our conversations in 140 characters of less LOL
Gabfrab - not so fast , how do I know we have an emotional connection yet ? Where did you grow up, Pembina? JFG - first thing I did was creep the guy hahaha Rummy - you what we have is special , but you're emotionally invested in someone else .. I can't compete in the race to your heart. I'm just another one of your love pawns. And exactly - seems like he might be a good candidate for third no ....? He paraphrased our conversations in 140 characters of less LOL
Yeah about that emotional investment in another...he's moving way sooner than either of us thought. So we more or less broke up last night though it was like both of us really not wanting to and maybe we will keep seeing each other for the weeks until he leaves despite knowing the end is approaching but idk. Emotional masochism isn't my thing.
Hahaha ok I realize this is Catch A Feeling thread, not the Tell Us Your Sad Feelings thread but....zero fucks given.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
Gabfrab - not so fast , how do I know we have an emotional connection yet ? Where did you grow up, Pembina? JFG - first thing I did was creep the guy hahaha Rummy - you what we have is special , but you're emotionally invested in someone else .. I can't compete in the race to your heart. I'm just another one of your love pawns. And exactly - seems like he might be a good candidate for third no ....? He paraphrased our conversations in 140 characters of less LOL
I grew up along the Red outside a little town north of Grand Forks. Went to the Morris Stampede every year and did the annoying American thing of coming over to drink and see naked gals in Winnipeg once I turned 18. Are you from Winnipeg?
As for an emotional connection, let's lap cheap American booze 'til one appears.
Can't quote on Tapatalk...... But love the plan. Yes I'm from Winnipeg. Morris was my first guess but I didn't think you were from Canada, I've honestly never been. That's pretty cool though. And yea - strip clubs are the best up here. Go to Montreal though , insane. Did you go to Teasers?? That or solid gold (never been) and lipstixx (doesn't exist anymore) . Teasers is my fav, I actually love going to the rippers
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
Point is, cheating (as in, literally cheating on the "rules" that have been established between two, or more, partners) is a terrible thing to do but is entirely context and relationship dependent. What is cheating to one may not to be to another. 
