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So last week I went on a group vacation to the beach for four nights. There were 11 adults and 2 small children in the condo, and we all had a blast. So much drinking, etc. Anyway, I went on this same trip last year with my wife, but we aren't together anymore, so I went alone. Of the 11 adults, there were three couples. That left me and four unmarried women. I've known these women for 2-3 years now, and they also used to be friends with my wife.
Anyway, one of the women is someone who I've thought was a really awesome person and I'm attracted to. She actually used to come over and get high and watch horror movies with my wife and I back in the day. She is a widow (husband had cancer about six years ago) and has gotten into a fairly serious and happy relationship over the past year.
Well, long story short, she and I were usually the last people to go to bed each night. We would go out to the water at night, look at the stars, listen to the waves, and just talk for hours. During the daytime, we kept finding moments to spend time together, whether it play fighting in the water or talking on the balcony. After three straight nights of us not talking about it, I finally broke the silence and told her it was obvious that we were both into each other. We both admitted that we had feels for each other for a while now and we both admitted how badly we wanted to act on those feelings that final night.
The problem here is that she is in a good relationship. It's long-distance, but she has tentative plans to maybe even move to where he lives (I think New Hampshire). He is her first real relationship since her husband passed. He is actually her deceased husband's best friend. I signed my divorce papers on Monday, so I don't have any real complications.
I guess the bottom line is that we both agreed it was bad timing. I don't want to get in the way of what is apparently a pretty good thing, but there has to be something said about the fact that we both feel this way and said it out loud. We didn't cross any physical lines, but we did cross some emotional ones.
I'm happy that I was able to spend that time with her and that I know that she also feels the same way, but it's a little sad.
From my limited life experience, I'd say don't let her slip away.
Idk what in here made him feel figuratively old, not sure where it came from.... I just don't know. So I said congrats with a '?', because I just don't know. But I also don't care enough to ask.
Idk what in here made him feel figuratively old, not sure where it came from.... I just don't know. So I said congrats with a '?', because I just don't know. But I also don't care enough to ask.
I meant to post in the random thoughts thread. Lol.
So last week I went on a group vacation to the beach for four nights. There were 11 adults and 2 small children in the condo, and we all had a blast. So much drinking, etc. Anyway, I went on this same trip last year with my wife, but we aren't together anymore, so I went alone. Of the 11 adults, there were three couples. That left me and four unmarried women. I've known these women for 2-3 years now, and they also used to be friends with my wife.
Anyway, one of the women is someone who I've thought was a really awesome person and I'm attracted to. She actually used to come over and get high and watch horror movies with my wife and I back in the day. She is a widow (husband had cancer about six years ago) and has gotten into a fairly serious and happy relationship over the past year.
Well, long story short, she and I were usually the last people to go to bed each night. We would go out to the water at night, look at the stars, listen to the waves, and just talk for hours. During the daytime, we kept finding moments to spend time together, whether it play fighting in the water or talking on the balcony. After three straight nights of us not talking about it, I finally broke the silence and told her it was obvious that we were both into each other. We both admitted that we had feels for each other for a while now and we both admitted how badly we wanted to act on those feelings that final night.
The problem here is that she is in a good relationship. It's long-distance, but she has tentative plans to maybe even move to where he lives (I think New Hampshire). He is her first real relationship since her husband passed. He is actually her deceased husband's best friend. I signed my divorce papers on Monday, so I don't have any real complications.
I guess the bottom line is that we both agreed it was bad timing. I don't want to get in the way of what is apparently a pretty good thing, but there has to be something said about the fact that we both feel this way and said it out loud. We didn't cross any physical lines, but we did cross some emotional ones.
I'm happy that I was able to spend that time with her and that I know that she also feels the same way, but it's a little sad.
From my limited life experience, I'd say don't let her slip away.
Everyone who went on the trip has had or currently has some form of sinus issues or colds. One of the children and one adult had a cold, so it's probably spread from them. Either that or the ocean water.
ANYWAY, her and her roommate (both were on the trip) were not feeling too great, so she made some hot and sour soup yesterday. She came by and dropped off a couple containers of it for me, too, because I've been sick this week. She was conveniently in a nice dress with full make up (supposedly because she had been hanging out with one of her friends). I could tell that she was acting a combination of nervous and excited around me. She only stayed about ten minutes, but it was an interesting experience.
From my limited life experience, I'd say don't let her slip away.
Everyone who went on the trip has had or currently has some form of sinus issues or colds. One of the children and one adult had a cold, so it's probably spread from them. Either that or the ocean water.
ANYWAY, her and her roommate (both were on the trip) were not feeling too great, so she made some hot and sour soup yesterday. She came by and dropped off a couple containers of it for me, too, because I've been sick this week. She was conveniently in a nice dress with full make up (supposedly because she had been hanging out with one of her friends). I could tell that she was acting a combination of nervous and excited around me. She only stayed about ten minutes, but it was an interesting experience.
you should smooch her next time you see her. Like a "hey thanks for that soup it was really nice and made me feel better" swoop in for a hug and land a nice peck on the cheek type smooching.
Everyone who went on the trip has had or currently has some form of sinus issues or colds. One of the children and one adult had a cold, so it's probably spread from them. Either that or the ocean water.
ANYWAY, her and her roommate (both were on the trip) were not feeling too great, so she made some hot and sour soup yesterday. She came by and dropped off a couple containers of it for me, too, because I've been sick this week. She was conveniently in a nice dress with full make up (supposedly because she had been hanging out with one of her friends). I could tell that she was acting a combination of nervous and excited around me. She only stayed about ten minutes, but it was an interesting experience.
you should smooch her next time you see her. Like a "hey thanks for that soup it was really nice and made me feel better" swoop in for a hug and land a nice peck on the cheek type smooching.
Agreed. so whats her dynamic like with the long distance dude? Has she indicated it is really that serious?
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
you should smooch her next time you see her. Like a "hey thanks for that soup it was really nice and made me feel better" swoop in for a hug and land a nice peck on the cheek type smooching.
Agreed. so whats her dynamic like with the long distance dude? Has she indicated it is really that serious?
Cant be that serious if she's putting on makeup and a dress to bring my man some soup
Agreed. so whats her dynamic like with the long distance dude? Has she indicated it is really that serious?
Cant be that serious if she's putting on makeup and a dress to bring my man some soup
What a difference a few days makes haha..
So, Friday night a big group of us met on my neighbor's porch for beers. She was there. We had some moments of knowing flirtation and some pretty awesomely vulgar late night texts.
I'm not entirely sure of how serious their relationship is, but I know that she isn't going to leave him for me, nor am I willing to ask her to do that. But she isn't even what this story is about.
Last night, I went on my first Match.com date ever. She is in her fifth year of a dual residency in psychiatry and internal medicine. She is a year away from making any real money so she is still humble and relatable.
We met at this chill bar/restaurant and talked for over three hours. She has the most beautiful eyes. We have a lot in common and we got a long really well. She was the perfect amount of nerdy, hip, and confident to have me at my height of attention.
She was going to a second bar to meet with some co-workers and friends and kept trying to persuade me to come with her. The connection was obvious, and we both wanted to keep the night going. So, I eventually caved.
By the third bar, the great conversations were turning into soft, subtle touches and prolonged gazes. We were now into full fledged flirtation mode.
The fourth and final bar was more of a dance club. We treated it like we were the only people in the room. We danced and grinded and gyrated. We basically made out and dry humped for about an hour. That is not something you would normally catch me doing. I'm not the kind of person to show that much PDA, but the chemistry was intense. The only reason we didn't take things back to someone's house was that it was a great first date and we didn't want to risk ruining things. We are hanging out again Tuesday.
So, I've "dated" two women since my separation and divorce, but this time really feels right. It's far too early to really know, but I was on cloud nine.
My friend and I went to the Saints game, and we did our fair share of drinking before, after, and during. At some point, I decided that we should go hang out on the terrace level area of the apartment complex of the first woman I dated since my ex wife. Naturally, I texted her that I was there. I felt obligated because I used her code to get in the building. I had to scroll through months of text messages, mostly from May and June, to get to the code. It was a good reminder of some of the funny, sexy, and stupid things that we had said.
As background information, she was my professor in grad school. She is originally from Turkey and looks just like an Eastern European Penelope Cruz.
She came out to hang with us. She was fucking beautiful. I was hypnotized by her. I went up to her apartment for a minute to help her get some drinks. The attraction was mutual and we let each other know how attracted we still were to one another. We all had a drink, and then my friend and I left.
I've come to terms with the divorce as best as I can. It was something that took me completely off guard when it happened, and it's not something that I may ever truly get over. She was definitely someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. But things don't always work out that way. I signed the divorce papers last Monday.
Thankfully, things couldn't have gone much better for me this weekend. I'm going to pursue the Match woman.
EDITS WERE MADE BECAUSE I WAS TIPSY DURING THE ORIGINAL POST
Well I think I'm going to finally and for real this time let go of trying to win back an ex girlfriend after three years. We make really awesome friends, but I keep catching feelings, and feeling like we'd be perfect together. Like even more perfect than when we were actually together years ago. It seems like we'd get a connection going, then it'd all fall through, then I'd move on from those feelings for maybe a month or two, but then it'd just happen again like a horrible cycle. I haven't dated anyone in those three years. She's dated a couple people but they've all been horrible, and she'd always come to me when she had issues with them. As much as I like being there for someone, that might not have been good for me considering it'd just get me all caught up in my feelings. I haven't had a real connection with anyone else unless it was at a music festival like Bonnaroo or something, and there have been a couple of those situations. But other than thinking I found my soulmate at a music festival, I really don't know how to meet other people.
Well I think I'm going to finally and for real this time let go of trying to win back an ex girlfriend after three years. We make really awesome friends, but I keep catching feelings, and feeling like we'd be perfect together. Like even more perfect than when we were actually together years ago. It seems like we'd get a connection going, then it'd all fall through, then I'd move on from those feelings for maybe a month or two, but then it'd just happen again like a horrible cycle. I haven't dated anyone in those three years. She's dated a couple people but they've all been horrible, and she'd always come to me when she had issues with them. As much as I like being there for someone, that might not have been good for me considering it'd just get me all caught up in my feelings. I haven't had a real connection with anyone else unless it was at a music festival like Bonnaroo or something, and there have been a couple of those situations. But other than thinking I found my soulmate at a music festival, I really don't know how to meet other people.
That's a real tough thing to have to go through, man. Sorry to hear it.
Does she know that you catch these feelings? Do you think she would ever give you another chance?
If you haven't told her how you feel, you have to do it or you'll be forever in this limbo. If she says she would give you another chance, then do it! If she says that she doesn't feel the same way, then you have your answer and you may actually be able to move on. If she has already told you that she isn't interested, then maybe you need to distance yourself from her.
My suggestions on how to meet other people: Find a friend who will go to a bar with you who can be a wing man and talk to a group of girls for you if you feel nervous doing the first talking. The worst thing that could happen is they aren't interested and you politely leave them alone. You can also try Tinder, Match.com, OKCupid, or some other dating site. They really do work. If you are into any type of sports or activities, there are probably some types of adult leagues near your area to meet new girls and guys.
It's not easy at first, but it gets easier every week. And you may never find someone to replace your ex, but you may make some new friends in the process. Good luck, man. It's not an easy road to travel down.
Well I think I'm going to finally and for real this time let go of trying to win back an ex girlfriend after three years. We make really awesome friends, but I keep catching feelings, and feeling like we'd be perfect together. Like even more perfect than when we were actually together years ago. It seems like we'd get a connection going, then it'd all fall through, then I'd move on from those feelings for maybe a month or two, but then it'd just happen again like a horrible cycle. I haven't dated anyone in those three years. She's dated a couple people but they've all been horrible, and she'd always come to me when she had issues with them. As much as I like being there for someone, that might not have been good for me considering it'd just get me all caught up in my feelings. I haven't had a real connection with anyone else unless it was at a music festival like Bonnaroo or something, and there have been a couple of those situations. But other than thinking I found my soulmate at a music festival, I really don't know how to meet other people.
That's a real tough thing to have to go through, man. Sorry to hear it.
Does she know that you catch these feelings? Do you think she would ever give you another chance?
If you haven't told her how you feel, you have to do it or you'll be forever in this limbo. If she says she would give you another chance, then do it! If she says that she doesn't feel the same way, then you have your answer and you may actually be able to move on. If she has already told you that she isn't interested, then maybe you need to distance yourself from her.
My suggestions on how to meet other people: Find a friend who will go to a bar with you who can be a wing man and talk to a group of girls for you if you feel nervous doing the first talking. The worst thing that could happen is they aren't interested and you politely leave them alone. You can also try Tinder, Match.com, OKCupid, or some other dating site. They really do work. If you are into any type of sports or activities, there are probably some types of adult leagues near your area to meet new girls and guys.
It's not easy at first, but it gets easier every week. And you may never find someone to replace your ex, but you may make some new friends in the process. Good luck, man. It's not an easy road to travel down.
We did confess that we liked each other again...but that was a very long time ago. It was months after our relationship had just ended, so yeah that was also three years ago. But she didn't want to get back into a relationship right away because she had just gotten out of a crappy one with another dude. At least that's what she said. We still ended up making out though. But then later she decided she didn't want to be in a relationship at all, after I tried asking her out a couple months later. At that point I got over it for a while....then it just came full circle. It seemed like we really started to hit it off again and I started getting thoughts that maybe I had a chance, but I've been too afraid to ask again because last time was pretty embarrassing. I just keep having the feeling of wanting to be extra extra sure there'd be a good chance she'd say yes before I asked again.
But now I just don't feel like it's going to work. She's back at a college, I'm not doing school this semester, and I just think she'll find someone else she likes there that goes to her school. I'm just working and trying to pursue my dreams, but I really haven't met anyone on the way of that journey.
I don't want to distance myself from her though. We get a long really well, she's the only person I can rant entire paragraphs too, and she'll text entire paragraphs back to me....I can really talk about my problems or feelings with her...well except the whole ya know I like you thing. Also if I think of something funny or just have a random funny story to share, she's the only person I can just randomly text about it, and she does the same thing. We just like randomly sharing stories with each other. I just fear it's going to be really hard to find someone else I can do that with.
It's kind of sad how Netflix n chill is a thing, because there have been so many times where all we did was get high and watched Netflix and chilled.
Cant be that serious if she's putting on makeup and a dress to bring my man some soup
What a difference a few days makes haha..
So, Friday night a big group of us met on my neighbor's porch for beers. She was there. We had some moments of knowing flirtation and some pretty awesomely vulgar late night texts.
I'm not entirely sure of how serious their relationship is, but I know that she isn't going to leave him for me, nor am I willing to ask her to do that. But she isn't even what this story is about.
Last night, I went on my first Match.com date ever. She is in her fifth year of a dual residency in psychiatry and internal medicine. She is a year away from making any real money so she is still humble and relatable.
We met at this chill bar/restaurant and talked for over three hours. She has the most beautiful eyes. We have a lot in common and we got a long really well. She was the perfect amount of nerdy, hip, and confident to have me at my height of attention.
She was going to a second bar to meet with some co-workers and friends and kept trying to persuade me to come with her. The connection was obvious, and we both wanted to keep the night going. So, I eventually caved.
By the third bar, the great conversations were turning into soft, subtle touches and prolonged gazes. We were now into full fledged flirtation mode.
The fourth and final bar was more of a dance club. We treated it like we were the only people in the room. We danced and grinded and gyrated. We basically made out and dry humped for about an hour. That is not something you would normally catch me doing. I'm not the kind of person to show that much PDA, but the chemistry was intense. The only reason we didn't take things back to someone's house was that it was a great first date and we didn't want to risk ruining things. We are hanging out again Tuesday.
So, I've "dated" two women since my separation and divorce, but this time really feels right. It's far too early to really know, but I was on cloud nine.
My friend and I went to the Saints game, and we did our fair share of drinking before, after, and during. At some point, I decided that we should go hang out on the terrace level area of the apartment complex of the first woman I dated since my ex wife. Naturally, I texted her that I was there. I felt obligated because I used her code to get in the building. I had to scroll through months of text messages, mostly from May and June, to get to the code. It was a good reminder of some of the funny, sexy, and stupid things that we had said.
As background information, she was my professor in grad school. She is originally from Turkey and looks just like an Eastern European Penelope Cruz.
She came out to hang with us. She was fucking beautiful. I was hypnotized by her. I went up to her apartment for a minute to help her get some drinks. The attraction was mutual and we let each other know how attracted we still were to one another. We all had a drink, and then my friend and I left.
I've come to terms with the divorce as best as I can. It was something that took me completely off guard when it happened, and it's not something that I may ever truly get over. She was definitely someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. But things don't always work out that way. I signed the divorce papers last Monday.
Thankfully, things couldn't have gone much better for me this weekend. I'm going to pursue the Match woman.
EDITS WERE MADE BECAUSE I WAS TIPSY DURING THE ORIGINAL POST
I feel like I need to keep this soap opera updated, so here we go.
So I pursued the woman from Match and we went out on Tuesday. I took her to this real chill neighborhood restaurant close to my house. We really see eye to eye on a lot of topics and found myself thinking she has a lot of potential for someone to have a real relationship with. We went back to my house afterwards, and I even allowed her to be the first person to hear a new song I'd recorded. I really appreciated that she was able to give me great feedback and she genuinely encouraged me to keep working on future music. I had rented some movies so we started watching It Follows (pretty cool movie).
Then things got interesting and a little strange.
During the movie, we started talking about a lot of topics related to sex. It was obvious where this was headed. About halfway through, at about 10:45 pm, we paused the movie. I won't go into detail, but we didn't leave my bedroom until 2:15 am. That isn't an exaggeration. It was pretty insane. All first time experiences are different and usually a little strange, but this was pretty good overall. My only complaint was that I only got about 5 hours of sleep for work.
So she stayed the night and in the morning (I admittedly was trying to get her out the door so I could go back to sleep for another hour) she was being very affectionate, for good reason. By allowing what happened that night to happen, I kind of opened myself up to her getting pretty attached. The night before, I would've even embraced this. But I felt very empty. I felt really sad about the whole thing. It seemed really meaningless.
She came back on Wednesday night to "finish the movie" and she tried to be intimate again. I was so tired from the night before, and in general just not into the whole thing anymore, so I had to politely decline. It wasn't as awkward as that sounds, though. She is showing a lot of attachment now, and I thought that was what I wanted, but I really lost my desire after we slept together. And that makes me feel very guilty, and more depressed.
All that is said to say this: I went to the movies with the woman from the beach trip last night. We had talked about some movies we wanted to see during that trip, so we both acted like it wasn't any big deal for us to go alone to see one (we saw The Gift. It was actually pretty decent). As a reminder, she is the woman who I actually have a longer standing connection with that I wish I could be with but has the long distance boyfriend.
Again, she showed up in full makeup and dressed up. She's not someone to dress like this for nights out with "friends." We both had preconceived thoughts that things would be weird between us. I mean, after the nights on the beach, the late night texts, etc., we both kind of expected awkwardness. But we were very normal and natural around each other.
After the movie, we came back to my house and talked for a few hours. Again, we opened up about our attraction to each other, but it's so much than that. She is one of the only people I can really talk about my feelings about the divorce with, and I'm one of the only people she discusses her relationship. I feel like through all of what has happened this year, she is the only friend outside of my best friend who I've been able to really open up to about all of this. It's just a long standing, real emotional connection.
Her relationship is about to be at a crossroads. Her original plan was to move in the Spring to the New England area to be closer to him and some of her old friends, but now due to some family illnesses and work changes, she now thinks that she wants to stay in New Orleans. When she sees him next, she said she is going to have to talk to him about all of this, and she fully expects him to tell her that he isn't willing to move here for her.
I don't want to base my future decisions on whether or not she ever becomes single again, nor do I want to put her in that position of choosing. But I, again, feel guilty for aiding to her second-guessing of her current relationship. I guess we'll see what happens.
That's a real tough thing to have to go through, man. Sorry to hear it.
Does she know that you catch these feelings? Do you think she would ever give you another chance?
If you haven't told her how you feel, you have to do it or you'll be forever in this limbo. If she says she would give you another chance, then do it! If she says that she doesn't feel the same way, then you have your answer and you may actually be able to move on. If she has already told you that she isn't interested, then maybe you need to distance yourself from her.
My suggestions on how to meet other people: Find a friend who will go to a bar with you who can be a wing man and talk to a group of girls for you if you feel nervous doing the first talking. The worst thing that could happen is they aren't interested and you politely leave them alone. You can also try Tinder, Match.com, OKCupid, or some other dating site. They really do work. If you are into any type of sports or activities, there are probably some types of adult leagues near your area to meet new girls and guys.
It's not easy at first, but it gets easier every week. And you may never find someone to replace your ex, but you may make some new friends in the process. Good luck, man. It's not an easy road to travel down.
We did confess that we liked each other again...but that was a very long time ago. It was months after our relationship had just ended, so yeah that was also three years ago. But she didn't want to get back into a relationship right away because she had just gotten out of a crappy one with another dude. At least that's what she said. We still ended up making out though. But then later she decided she didn't want to be in a relationship at all, after I tried asking her out a couple months later. At that point I got over it for a while....then it just came full circle. It seemed like we really started to hit it off again and I started getting thoughts that maybe I had a chance, but I've been too afraid to ask again because last time was pretty embarrassing. I just keep having the feeling of wanting to be extra extra sure there'd be a good chance she'd say yes before I asked again.
But now I just don't feel like it's going to work. She's back at a college, I'm not doing school this semester, and I just think she'll find someone else she likes there that goes to her school. I'm just working and trying to pursue my dreams, but I really haven't met anyone on the way of that journey.
I don't want to distance myself from her though. We get a long really well, she's the only person I can rant entire paragraphs too, and she'll text entire paragraphs back to me....I can really talk about my problems or feelings with her...well except the whole ya know I like you thing. Also if I think of something funny or just have a random funny story to share, she's the only person I can just randomly text about it, and she does the same thing. We just like randomly sharing stories with each other. I just fear it's going to be really hard to find someone else I can do that with.
It's kind of sad how Netflix n chill is a thing, because there have been so many times where all we did was get high and watched Netflix and chilled.
I think that I can say we are both in a pretty similar situation right now. The details are different, but the feelings are pretty similar.
just found out the boy in my program who I've had a crush on from the minute I came here broke up with his girlfriend. and he's the one who invited me out today. MUST. RESIST.
just found out the boy in my program who I've had a crush on from the minute I came here broke up with his girlfriend. and he's the one who invited me out today. MUST. RESIST.
Do. It.
Also, today is the first Saturday of college football season which is basically like Christmas to me. I haven't watched much today since the lady came in at 430. I am completely and totally okay with this.
just found out the boy in my program who I've had a crush on from the minute I came here broke up with his girlfriend. and he's the one who invited me out today. MUST. RESIST.
Do. It.
Also, today is the first Saturday of college football season which is basically like Christmas to me. I haven't watched much today since the lady came in at 430. I am completely and totally okay with this.
no no no.
everything in my program revolves around group projects. I have 4 classes and am currently in 3 different groups - and it's only going to become more frequent. unless it is completely worth it, going after someone in my program is a risky business made to create awkward situations. also, my specific track is the smallest, with only 16 people - AKA in my cross-track projects I have a higher likelihood of working with a larger chunk of people (as opposed to those in tracks with 25+ people... I'll probably work in groups with 80% of the people in my year by the time graduation is here) . gah, it's so risky.
Also, today is the first Saturday of college football season which is basically like Christmas to me. I haven't watched much today since the lady came in at 430. I am completely and totally okay with this.
no no no.
everything in my program revolves around group projects. I have 4 classes and am currently in 3 different groups - and it's only going to become more frequent. unless it is completely worth it, going after someone in my program is a risky business made to create awkward situations. also, my specific track is the smallest, with only 16 people - AKA in my cross-track projects I have a higher likelihood of working with a larger chunk of people (as opposed to those in tracks with 25+ people... I'll probably work in groups with 80% of the people in my year by the time graduation is here) . gah, it's so risky.
I know this may sound bad, but I'm proud of you for thinking this one through and making the best, adult decision. Given what you just said, I would very much say getting involved with anyone from the program would be a bad idea.
everything in my program revolves around group projects. I have 4 classes and am currently in 3 different groups - and it's only going to become more frequent. unless it is completely worth it, going after someone in my program is a risky business made to create awkward situations. also, my specific track is the smallest, with only 16 people - AKA in my cross-track projects I have a higher likelihood of working with a larger chunk of people (as opposed to those in tracks with 25+ people... I'll probably work in groups with 80% of the people in my year by the time graduation is here) . gah, it's so risky.
I know this may sound bad, but I'm proud of you for thinking this one through and making the best, adult decision. Given what you just said, I would very much say getting involved with anyone from the program would be a bad idea.
everything in my program revolves around group projects. I have 4 classes and am currently in 3 different groups - and it's only going to become more frequent. unless it is completely worth it, going after someone in my program is a risky business made to create awkward situations. also, my specific track is the smallest, with only 16 people - AKA in my cross-track projects I have a higher likelihood of working with a larger chunk of people (as opposed to those in tracks with 25+ people... I'll probably work in groups with 80% of the people in my year by the time graduation is here) . gah, it's so risky.
I know this may sound bad, but I'm proud of you for thinking this one through and making the best, adult decision. Given what you just said, I would very much say getting involved with anyone from the program would be a bad idea.
a friend of mine who's a second year told us he has a "one month rule" - if there's maybe somethin' a brewin', give it a solid month. if you still feel the same/stronger, then go for it.
I already know of a group that has 2 people in it that started hooking up right off the bat. and all I've heard are horror stories and how awk it is to be in a group with them.
I know this may sound bad, but I'm proud of you for thinking this one through and making the best, adult decision. Given what you just said, I would very much say getting involved with anyone from the program would be a bad idea.
a friend of mine who's a second year told us he has a "one month rule" - if there's maybe somethin' a brewin', give it a solid month. if you still feel the same/stronger, then go for it.
I already know of a group that has 2 people in it that started hooking up right off the bat. and all I've heard are horror stories and how awk it is to be in a group with them.
You are clearly not in theater. Hooking up is a good thing there. You get all those emotions riled up into your craft, or like whatever you need to tell yourself to justify the hookup.
If your teams got rid of the hookup rule and everyone just started getting it on then the awkwardness would pass for all. It's not hooking up that's making it awkward.
a friend of mine who's a second year told us he has a "one month rule" - if there's maybe somethin' a brewin', give it a solid month. if you still feel the same/stronger, then go for it.
I already know of a group that has 2 people in it that started hooking up right off the bat. and all I've heard are horror stories and how awk it is to be in a group with them.
You are clearly not in theater. Hooking up is a good thing there. You get all those emotions riled up into your craft, or like whatever you need to tell yourself to justify the hookup.
If your teams got rid of the hookup rule and everyone just started getting it on then the awkwardness would pass for all. It's not hooking up that's making it awkward.
I came to write something almost identical to this.
Create a new norm, Smelly. Lead the good fight. Increase the fucking between classmates, don't decrease it.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
I know this may sound bad, but I'm proud of you for thinking this one through and making the best, adult decision. Given what you just said, I would very much say getting involved with anyone from the program would be a bad idea.
a friend of mine who's a second year told us he has a "one month rule" - if there's maybe somethin' a brewin', give it a solid month. if you still feel the same/stronger, then go for it.
I already know of a group that has 2 people in it that started hooking up right off the bat. and all I've heard are horror stories and how awk it is to be in a group with them.
I find that to be a good rule (the time frame thing). But at the same time, am I the only one here who thinks that it's pretty ridiculous that a group of adults, all at LEAST 21/22 and up, can't behave like adults and just move past it if things don't work out? I get how the whole breaking up after a long term thing could be a bit awkward for a bit. But if people can't be mature enough to put their personal lives and feelings aside to get work done then maybe they shouldn't be in a master's program....
I'm not aiming this at you specifically, Smelly. Just the comment "all I've heard are horror stories and how awk it is to be in a group with them" comes off a bit immature to the people who were involved.. I don't know, maybe I am just a bitch with no feelings so it is easy for me to just act like a grown up in these situations. I can be around exes and behave in a civil way. Is it ideal? Not really. Would I rather not have to do that? Of course. But I could still work in a group with them after the fact.
TL;DR- You've only been there for a few weeks, give it a bit longer to get to know him,(esp as a single guy) then go for it if you want to. You're a grown up, make grown up decisions and if it doesn't work out be an adult and put your feelings aside and just get shit done and remain friends, or at least civil. That's what big kids do.
