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I thought I would post my latest blog entry. I thought some people here would appreciate it. Enjoy!
I love music festivals.
I get ridiculously excited when a festival announces its line-up. My initial reaction is always “I have to go to this!” Then eventually I start thinking rationally and convince myself that there’s no way I can afford to go. Sometimes you need to factor in plane tickets, hotel rooms, gas, food, etc., which after buying a $200+ ticket, can run you close to $1000. However, I have made it a goal of mine to go to at least one music festival a year.
If I had all the money in the world, and if working wasn’t a necessity, I would go to Langerado in March, Coachella in April, Sasquatch in May, Bonnaroo in June, Rothbury in July, Lollapalooza in August, Austin City Limits in September, and Vegoose in October.
This year I’ve decided to go to Bonnaroo once again. I went in 2006 and was overwhelmed by the heat and crowd at times, but overall had a great experience. I’ll never forget watching Radiohead play a 3 hour set. This year’s festival features some legendary names such as Robert Plant, Allison Krauss, BB King, Willie Nelson, Levon Helm, Phil Lesh, The Allman Brothers, not to mention acts such as Pearl Jam, Kanye West, Death Cab for Cutie, My Morning Jacket, and Sigur Ros. I’m beyond excited. In fact, I'm already having dreams about this year's festival.
There is one thing that I absolutely do not like about music festivals. Port-a-lets. I avoid these at all costs. I actually avoided visiting one the entire 5 days of Cornerstone festival in 2005. The amount of pain I endured during that visit to Hardee’s bathroom leaving the festival will forever be frozen into my brain.
Port-a-lets are always disgusting. There’s no way around it. Usually they’re out of toilet paper, which means you have to carry a roll around with you all day. If you go at night, there’s no way to see. You could be peeing on the walls for all you know. God forbid you ever have to actually sit down on the seat. That’s my biggest fear of using the port-a-lets. I always imagine some creature living down there rising and biting my nether regions. How awful would that be?
There is something that never fails when you’ve succumbed to the calls of nature and actually have to sit down on the throne. Someone knocks. I hate it when that happens. How do you respond to that? “Hang on!” “Umm, be right out!” “Go away I’m pooping!” I manage to avoid the awkwardness by just shouting “Come on in!” I’m really going to regret saying that one day when some drunken frat guy bursts into the door and relieves himself all over me.
Now that you’re thoroughly grossed out, let me tell you my plan to never have to use a port-a-let ever again. It’s called VIP. I’ve decided to go the VIP route to Bonnaroo this year which, unless there’s some kind of freak emergency, I will be able to avoid all port-a-lets and use an actual air-conditioned bathroom. There are also such amenities as showers, free food, premium seating at the main stages, and premium camping spots. How much extra does VIP cost you? In the case of Bonnaroo, roughly $400. That’s right, I’m shelling out what the cost of 3 tickets would normally be for 1 ticket. That’s how badly I want to avoid port-a-lets. But you know what? I’m going to be clean and worry free. You may think I’m crazy, but it’s going to be totally worth it.
There is one thing that I absolutely do not like about music festivals. Port-a-lets. I avoid these at all costs. I actually avoided visiting one the entire 5 days of Cornerstone festival in 2005. The amount of pain I endured during that visit to Hardee’s bathroom leaving the festival will forever be frozen into my brain.
Port-a-lets are always disgusting. There’s no way around it. Usually they’re out of toilet paper, which means you have to carry a roll around with you all day. If you go at night, there’s no way to see. You could be peeing on the walls for all you know. God forbid you ever have to actually sit down on the seat. That’s my biggest fear of using the port-a-lets. I always imagine some creature living down there rising and biting my nether regions. How awful would that be?
you have some serious issues....
'roo does a bangup job of keeping them tidy. dont get me wrong, the air conditioned, music playing, flowing water offered in the marble-esque / wood trimmed VIP bathrooms are amazing by comparison. but ill still end up in a big plastic stinkbox at some point...
haha thats great. Port o john are a necessary evil. They suck but then again its all a part of the experience. On a side note, Jackowcko did you used to be a member on the ichthus forums?
yeh, bonnaroo suits my taste in music and theology and party ethics than ichthus ever could.But thats where I honed my skills. Oh, and I was the atheist trouble maker bikerboy565. Karma for being on two boards for festies I've been on and to.
My Dad went to Asbury so I was raised going to Ichthus. When I went off to college I stopped going, until last year when I organized the trip for the youth.
This year I told them to plan their own trip. I needed to get back to Bonnaroo!
Yup CLOROX WIPES ROCK...just dont mix them with the butt wipes!!! I tried the flashlight at night in the port-a-potty...not easy to maneuver...I plan on a headlamp this year for those "oh man I gotta go, after all the fest food" Moments
As my Inebriated buddy walks out of the Porto, he yells out, "Dude...I love this place...bonnaroo thinks about everything...they even put beer holders next to the toilet!"
Had to break it to him that that was the urnal. Good times good times!
This man came up to me just the other day, asked me I'd been born again. I told him, "I didn't think I had." That I had been rejected. But I think, Hell's got all the good bands anyway. And Bonnaroo.
