T.I.N 2015

5

Nod
n.
1. A forward or up-and-down movement of the head, usually expressive of drowsiness or agreement: a nod of affirmation.
2. An indication of approval or assent: The contestant got the nod from the judges.
3. Informal A nomination for an award.

Really? I always took it as an acknowledgement of the person's accomplishments, but not actually considering him/her. The more you know.

I have spent too much time around Boner to be able to consider his understanding of situations to be rule of law.

I just spent the better part of an hour, possibly close to two, reading through these. Good shit.

one of those times it would be fun to use usernames in a real life context to see facial expressions of those who overhear. 

Well I figured it out, but still ouch that hurts.

Also I before E except after C.

I lost my 5th grade spelling bee on the word receive and I still get confused on how to spell it. I remember repeating that rule in my head and then got it wrong. It is correct here because of autocorrect. Yay autocorrect!

I second the nominations of puptent and Suriel.

Both have made now playing a better place

I've already typed out my acceptance speech and would like to present it to the committee prior to the vote. If the voters accept bribes, please PM me.....

(looks out to the crowd. Tries to hush them but the standing ovation will not stop. Despite multiple attempts to quiet them, the chants of "Billy! Billy! Billy!" won't stop. After a half hour, the crowd has finally calmed to the point where I can begin my speech.)

Thank you so much to custeph JHOinTN and bonzai for your support. All three of you are beautiful and wonderful people. To Dave Maynar for subtly leading an "anyone but billybaroo" campaign. And also to Dr. Joe, whose support is surprising considering the amount of angry PMs he has sent me but very warranted. Thank you to the Class of 2014, for being not all that great. The fact that the first 4 nominations were for a former winner who no longer posts, a sarcastic nomination for Tranter, another person who isn't currently on the forum, and myself who joined the forum in 2012 should tell you all you need to know about how this rookie class is viewed.

I agree with your nomination for me. I am indeed the best. I humbly pre-accept both the 2014 and 2015 awards that I have not yet been awarded to me but most assuredly will.

Here is my 8 point agenda.

1. Barabbas Day- It is held once a year, on the Christian Good Friday. We vote one person off the board and ban them for at least 1 year or only 3 days should they rise from the dead as a miracle or getting a new IP address. Human history has shown that we make horrible decisions when deciding who to save and who to kill. We should continue that here.
2. Giant Fucking Blanket- It is a well known rule that when someone lays a blanket down at a concert, if you do not know that person, you cannot stand or step on that blanket regardless of the size of the blanket, how close it is to the stage, or the amount of people on the blanket/in the area. So let us take advantage of that. Remember the giant AIDS quilt? I want to do that with blankets. The plan is to sow as many blankets together as possible and then once the main stage opens at noon on Roo Friday, we drive a forklift to right behind the back of the pit and lay that sucker on the ground. If we work hard and sew quickly, Inforoo can reserve several thousand square feet of prime What field real estate for us Inforoo'ers and us alone to watch shows. I don't make the concert blanket laws, I just take advantage of them.
3. Female Headliner in 2016. Her name is Beyonce. Deal with it or DIAF.
4. Jimmyroo will be Board Member of the month, every month until the end of time. Nobody is allowed to ask him any questions.
5. For every post in the GRRRR thread that doesn't involve a serious illness, car troubles, loss of job, death of a family member/friend, or other serious real life shit you must make a post in the Yayyyy thread about the good things in your life. Some of you complain about the most mundane shit. Gain some perspective or buy a fucking diary/journal ya whiners.
6. Implement a thumbs down button. So much of the policing of this board is left to the mods and the assholes of the board. We should let the community let others know that they suck. Because quite often, they do suck.
7. A committee shall be formed consisting of the elite haters, cock-blockers, and feminists of this board to bring shame upon the creeps among us. Every time a new female joins this board and is either very outgoing or posts a picture of herself in My Mug, there is a small group of horndogs, creepjobs, and awkward flirts who aren't as clever or charming as they think and it really grosses me out.
8. End the waffle/pancake poll. There are people who like waffles and there people who are idiots. That conversation is going nowhere. Waffles win.

The parallels between my life and the T.I.N. character in Rookie of the Year are startling. Much like the real Henry Rowengartner, I broke my right elbow in elementary school and gained weird abilities in my right arm (more of the stupid human trick than 95 mph fastball abilities, but we don't choose our superpowers in life.) My mom has a scummy boyfriend trying to take advantage of my abilities while Gary Busey has played an important role in being my mentor while also trying to fuck my mom.

If that is not enough for you, here is a picture of a cat with a waffle on its head.


All I wanted in my Inforoo life was a custom title and some stars underneath my name. This honor is more than I could have ever dreamed of. And remember to never give up..... unless you're RJ/Sonofbeek/Jim and then in that case, keep giving up and coming back, it is your destiny.

Thank you and good night!!!

(A thunderous standing ovation. Flower bouquets and panties are thrown onto the stage by the dozens. A bright white beam shines down from the sky onto my bald spot as I am lifted from the ground and ascend into Inforoo heaven to celebrate with Flanzo. I tell him how I always wanted Rob Ford to be my username but he already took it. We discuss sports, smoke some pot, and make some uncomfortable jokes about Colorado Ron.)

Congratulations, on your retirement from posting.

I appreciated billybaroo's moxie and the thumbs down portion of his platform. Then, he had to remind me he is a waffler. Looks like it is time to make my campaign less subtle. I will study the other nominees in depth and render a verdict about who is superior to him (spoiler alert: it's everyone who like pancakes. Does fins like pancakes? He'll outrank Billy then) then launch my offensive. Let me remind you that my endorsement has carried both winners to victory. You'd be surprised at how persuasive threats of arson involving someone's tent at Bonnaroo can be.

I had no idea what serious shit this was and was just honored to be nominated. I obviously misjudged the seriousness of T.I.N. I will now reevaluate what needs to be done.

BTW, Dave Maynar I did have double blueberry pancakes at IHOP on Sunday and I am pretty sure you saw that snapchat.