MUST READ if you've ever thought of taking a bus to Roo!!

As the time approached our annual trek to a magical farm in Manchester, TN, we lost a crucial part of our Roo crew. My trusty Volvo wagon. Her name was Veronica. She had served me well. 11 years and 225K miles is nothing to sneeze at. I knew every scrape, every dent, every spill. There will never be another Veronica.

Back to the problem at hand. I'm a check to check kind of guy. Don't want to be. I'd love to have a stockpile of loot to fall back on. Working towards it every day. But tickets in hand, Bonnaroo rapidly approaching, and nobody in my usual crew going this year, or those who were had already fully loaded their respective rides-I was in uncharted territory for myself. Tickets, but no ride. I am not in a position to just go buy a car. Even a shit one. Renting a car was not cheap. We gave a brief thought to one of the rideshare threads, but we felt we had far too much stuff to burden someone's Kia Soul with. We decided try our hand at taking a bus to and from the farm this year.

We were planning on meeting up with our friends in Nashville. They'd scoop us up in their RV, and we'd ride in with them, and camp in the sliver of shade the RV provides, like we usually do. Coming from Florida, we had 2 options. Megabus, known for their low fares and crashes, or Greyhound, the industry standard and somehow, still breathing. Logistically, we wanted to be on the farm late Wed night/early Thurs morning, and leave Monday morning, not super early. It was too tricky to work out with one carrier, so we bought tickets to Roo on Megabus, and Greyhound for the ride home. It was at this point I thought, 'Afterward, I can write a helpful comparison for people and post it online. I'll be so informative!' I had no idea what this endeavor would entail.

HERE ARE THE DETAILS!!! Both Megabus and Greyhound have luggage restrictions, as outlined by the TSA. Weight limits and overall volume limits of the luggage are outlined on both their sites. The EZ-up and duffel were no problem. I'll be honest, we were just kind of winging it with the laundry bag. It weighed a ton, and I was sure the handle would tear off before the trip ended. Both Greyhound and Megabus allow only one checked bag free, per ticket. Each rider is allowed one carry on, up to 25 pounds, and it has to fit in the overhead storage. Megabus asks you to buy an extra seat for extra luggage. Greyhound charges $15 per extra bag. Both services take special care to say you are ultimately the one responsible for your luggage. You make sure it is off the bus when you need it, and you bring it to any bus you are transferring to. They also say checked bags need to have luggage locks on them.

Thanks to my amazing at Tetris girlfriend, we found a way to consolidate everything we had to have at Roo into 3 bags to be checked, and two carry-ons. One checked bag was our EZ-up. Non-negotiable. This covers our tent, and allows a scant few extra hours of shade while sleeping. The second was our duffel/suitcase hybrid dealie containing our clothes and necessities. The third was actually a laundry bag containing: 2 tailgate type folding chairs, one queen size double tall air mattress, one hand pump for same, one 6-person tent, 2 camelbaks, 3 tapestries, and whatever else we needed that we could cram in and still close. Somehow, we put a luggage lock on a laundry bag.

The day is here! Tuesday night before Bonnaroo. We get a friend to lug us and our stuff to the bus station. At our departure point, the bus is already there and loading 30 minutes before our 10PM departure. We went paperless, and basically had to show the driver our receipts on our phones (which was what the majority of people were doing). I handed our checked bags to someone who was loading baggage onto the bus. Not quite sure if he was a passenger or employee. I stood there long enough to see our stuff get covered by other people's stuff. I was satisfied nobody wanted my aging EZ-up or our dirty laundry, so I boarded the bus.

Megabus offers tiers of seating. There are 4 seats per bus that share a table, restaurant booth style. Two seats are called 'balcony seats' because they overlook the scenic stairwell (for the uninitiated, Megabus has double decker buses), and also 'reserved seating'. But we scored 2 premium seats. Front row, upper deck. These are touted as having a panoramic view, and additional leg room. We paid $5 extra per rider for these beauties. Also, we bought a 3rd ticket on Megabus per their luggage policy. I was smart and bought one of the seats behind us. One of us isn't getting kicked in the back on this trip!

As we board the bus and make our way to our seats, there is someone sitting in both of the seats. One person. As we get closer to the front of the bus, we move from general to reserved seating. Another passenger near the transition from general to reserved saw us eyeing the seat, and asked where we were going. I said 'to our seats up front.' She called ahead for this guy to move. Their group was apparently one third of the upper deck and they were all trying to spread out. No Megabus employee there to assist, seating appears to be on the honor system. After seventeen minutes of this guy gathering his stuff and himself, we were headed to our seats.

Hello, front row! My girlfriend and I excitedly plop into our seats. We have our carry ons, which are supposed to go under the seats here. No way that’s fitting, but that’s our fault. Even with no carry-on, if the front row has more leg room, I feel sorry for everyone behind us. This is cramped! But I can put my feet up, like everyone has done at least once in the passenger seat of a car. Unfortunately, the windshield here is straight up and down, so maybe a foot and a half closer than a car windshield would be. The panoramic view was 38% obscured by bug guts. But hey, every seat can charge a phone, and the bus has free wi-fi! I plug in my phone, and connect to the wi-fi. The wi-fi blocks streaming sites like Hulu, Netflix, HBOGo, YouTube, Watch ESPN, KittensYawning.com, ProperToothCare.org, and just about any site you might see a video clip on.

The driver makes an announcement. Thanks for choosing Megabus, no smoking, no vaping (yeah she did), no alcohol, no drugs. Don't do this or I'll call the cops, blah, blah, blah. Use headphones, talk quiet, thanks for choosing Megabus. And we're on our way.

I can make the trip in Veronica (too soon) in nine hours. Megabus has regulations stating they only go like 2 hours without a stop. So we stop in Bumfart, GA. Bus driver tells everyone to use the time on their phones to be back on the bus in time to go. Get out, stretch the legs, leer at a roller grill hot dog, people smoke, then back on the bus. We're about two hours from Atlanta when the bus driver gets on the PA and angrily asks, "Do I smell cigarette smoke on my Megabus?" Apparently, someone who had been causing problems in the gas station at the last stop decided to smoke in the bathroom. I did not really smell it (part of the strategy of picking my seat, as far as possible from the shitter) but heard others agreeing with the driver. The person in question comes out of the bathroom and returns to their seat. The bus driver reminds him of the message she shared with us at departure. He pleads for mercy. She literally pulls over on the interstate to kick this guy off. It is against federal law to smoke in the restroom, and he had a chance to smoke 15 minutes ago when we were in Bumfart. She's on the horn with Megabus flight control or whatever it is, who advises her to exit the interstate and find a safe, well lit, open business to drop him off at. She begrudgingly complies. We proceed to take the next 5 exits in Nowheresville county where every business is dark. Finally, an open oasis. We kicked him off. If he had any luggage, it continued with us to Atlanta.

After dealing with that, we arrive at the bus station in Atlanta about 35 minutes late. This may have been a problem for some, but we had a hour and forty five minute layover in Atlanta that was now just over an hour. I disembark and immediately retrieve our luggage. So I'm looking around for like a lounge, or area for people to wait on their transfer. Nope. This curb is the bus stop. So we pull our gear off to the side and huddle up. There is a nice barefoot homeless person shouting in strange tongues (one of his own creation, I believe), approaching from what appears to be an information booth. Inside the booth is a person in blue wearing some sort of badge. Good enough for me. I pass Shouty McBunyon and ask the security guard looking person if there is a Waffle House or some other 24 hour type diner within walking distance. He says there is, but the distance is too far for us and all of our stuff. We wait it out on the side of the road. About 30 min in, a police officer arrives and begins directing traffic in the bus area. We are in the middle of downtown Atlanta at 5AM and rush hour is beginning. He is also there to help the buses get in and out. He makes it feel a lil less sketchy.

The connector to Nashville is here! There is actually a Megabus person here loading baggage. My girlfriend shows them our passes and they take our luggage. Well, not all of it. They are saying I have to take the laundry bag with me on board the bus. I tell them it made it here just fine under the bus. They don't realize I'm with the woman who just showed them 3 tickets. Minor snag, but they take the bag and we board. No fighting for the seat this time. No bugs on the windshield! Didn't really mind them before as it was night, but now the sun is coming up and I love the ride into Roo. Its so pretty! And I get to enjoy it this time, instead of looking for exits, cops, coolers in the road. The bus leaves and we're on the road again.

Having figured out a comfortable way to prop myself between the seat and windshield on the last leg, I was set. Painless ride, really. Taking in the sites, we pass Roo. I can see a little activity, but remember, this is like 10AM on Wed. Not much to see going by at 65mph on I-24. But I smile, as I know, we'll be there within 24 hours. Oh, the anticipation. Like, shrink my whole year's anticipation into that day. I'm never this close to Roo, and I'm passing it! But I'll be back soon enough.

We arrive in Nashville. This stop is on the curb (surprise) outside the local Nashville regional transit bus stop. Nicer spot than Atlanta, but still, out you go with all your crap on the curb, thanks for choosing Megabus. Overall, not bad. First bus was almost at capacity, second was maybe 2/3 full. Never used the restrooms, took care of that at the stops. The temperature on the bus was fine for me, my girlfriend used a blanket. Cleanliness was pretty good, and there were no offensive odors to speak of. I wish I could have identified a single other passenger who appeared to be headed to Bonnaroo as well, but who cares at this point. We're where we needed to be, and Megabus did an admirable job of getting us to Nashville.

Gainesville, FL to Nashville, TN- 13 hours, one transfer with 1hr 15min layover=114 bucks (with premium seats and an extra ticket to account for luggage).

Friend in Nashville picks us up. We Walmart, we Yazoo Brewing co, we Peg Leg Pig, we carouse at a house party, we get taken to the sketchiest spot in Nashville where my buddy from Lexington asked to pick us up. He does so in the nick of time (long story, another post). We get on the road, some accident closes half of I-24, we find a new way into Roo.

We Roo (also, another post).

We pack up Monday and are moving again. Had a friend offer to take our not quite TSA approved laundry bag back home for us. He's the best (thanks again Jonathan). Bonnablues setting in (but not as bad as years past) we arrive at the Nashville Greyhound Station. Holy Schnikes, it’s a real bus station. With seating and restrooms, and free wi-fi and phone charging. And food, and toiletries in case you forgot them. What a time we live in!

We were there 2 hours before our bus is set to depart. We check in. Greyhound does not have reserved seats. They are first come, first served. We are check in #4&5. They seat in groups of 15, so we'll be some of the first on the bus. We pay $8 per bag for Greyhound to watch them for us while we grab a bite to eat. We ate at the Pharmacy. Good burgers.

We get going on the Greyhound. Load up our stuff. I notice the bus is completely empty when we board. This is awesome! We find our seats. Grab 2 next to each other about 4 rows back from the driver. Leg room is actually impressive. There's a cool footrest on the back of the chair in front of you. Put your feet in and it can sink all the way to the floor. Cup holders on each seat back. One of ours was broken. Charge your phone from your seat, free wi-fi with the same restrictions. This will be great! So easy to relax after Roo.

So we're about 5 miles away from the Greyhound station, moving along on the freeway. Then we encounter some traffic, I assume routine at 5:45PM in Nashville. During this slow period, I notice a man come up from behind me and approach the driver. He says "Hey man, I can see from the back that the luggage door is open on this side," as he points to the exact spot where our shit was loaded.

I start panicking. Wasn't that where our stuff was? What if it just rolled out? I start scouring the back of my ticket (printed by Greyhound) for the word luggage. Ah, here it is. Ummm, $250 per bag liability, maximum. Ok, that should replace everything. I can get a newer EZ-up! Guy slams the door 4 or 5 times, and we're off, back into traffic. Unscheduled stop to professionally tape the door closed. We get to Atlanta, and our bags are thankfully there.

Our problem at this point is, with the traffic, and the amazing auto open door, we arrived 45 min after our connector left. What should have been a 30 min layover turned into the beginning of a nightmare. Its 1AM in Atlanta. Thankfully, at another real bus station. I did step outside for a few to see if there was a Subway, or some fast food place nearby. Not that I saw, but I could have gotten some weed, Molly, heroin, or coke from some sort of street vendor who approached me. I declined, as I was on the way home from Roo.

We talk to ticketing. The next bus is completely full. They offer to put us up in a hotel and give us food vouchers. I was impressed at this. Otherwise, we could leave on a bus in a few hours that would arrive in Jacksonville, FL at 1PM. Great! Jacksonville is 60, 90 minutes, max, from Gainesville. Greyhound would arrive in Gainesville at 10PM. She went ahead and ticketed us for this bus. She then told us to go to customer service for the vouchers.

We walk across to customer service, where a tandem of people is handling the growing complaints and voucher requests. One of them is having a Sheriff's Officer remove someone from line for getting sassy with them. When its our turn, we say we're here for the vouchers. They look at us like we have lobsters in our hair. We explain our situation and say the nice lady at ticketing said we could get our vouchers here. They politely say that we should go talk to her since she knows everything about these vouchers. I explain she just told us to come here, and may do the same once we speak to her, since she's pretty sure this is where we go for vouchers. They did not like that at all. Especially Anthony. Yeah, I remember your damn name, Anthony.

At this point, we ask for a refund. Then I remembered booking the tickets. Tickets are basically half price if you go non-refundable. Anthony knows this too. The only other benefits are preferred seating (you pick your seat first) and some ride points in Greyhound's frequently disappointed club. So with no refund possibility, we again ask for the manager.

After one of the most retina-tearing eye rolls in history, Anthony goes in the office to get the manager. He comes out to inform us that she is on the phone setting up hotel rooms for those inconvenienced. He asks to wait 'over thurr' until the manager came out, which we did.

Here comes the manager. By this point, we figured we could take the bus and just get off in Jacksonville and either have a friend grab us or Uber home. The bus literally went from Jacksonville, to Orlando, wait for 2 and ½ hours, go to Ocala, then finally Gainesville. This was Greyhound's best solution to our problem. Otherwise, we could stay in a shit hotel with no transportation, and catch the bus 24 hours after the one we missed, only to make a 6 hour car ride in 10 hours. We took the food vouchers and the abandon ship in Jacksonville route.

Our bus is finally here. We load up and can't sit next to each other, as this bus arrived with passengers, and is just about packed. We roll out and I'm exhausted. We transfer somewhere, get a new driver. He is awesome. Funny, nice guy. He takes us to Jacksonville. Can't sit next to each other for one more leg, but then some people get off. We try different seats at different stops. No 2 side by side seats both have an intact cup holder. Arrive in Jacksonville and get off at another real bus station. Greyhound did have a few gas station parking lot stops, but our main stops were always at actual bus stations. Temperature was fine. Greyhound bus was noisier, like the bus itself. Also did get to smell, taste, and wear that awesome shitter/blue liquid cloud funk once or twice on the ride home.

Nashville, TN to Jacksonville, FL- 21 hours, one transfer with 4hr 15min layover=185 bucks (with grab a seat and an extra spot in a friends car to account for luggage that I'm not sure Greyhound would have taken). We then had to make some arrangements. A friend was nice enough to take us from Jacksonville to Gainesville.

We did it. What we thought was going to be a fun adventure turned into an ordeal. They were both economic, climate controlled offerings. Megabus' scheduling is really the only reason they didn't work out for us for the ride home. But Greyhound did have the leg room advantage. I hope this review helps you if you're ever in the position where you have to take a bus.