Any Things Draft

The Setup

You have been given the opportunity to curate the initial lineup for a festival in competition with thirteen others. Anything can be selected regardless of mortality, activity, existence, tangibility, or intelligibility. If you can type it, then it is eligible. Winners will be decided by a poll or something

The Rules

1) Once an item is drafted it is unavailable to anyone else.

2) No more than three banana related items can be drafted for each festival (bananas, banana cream pie, Bananarama, etc.) It is highly recommended you draft your banana maximum.

2.1) If you draft "fresh air", you automatically instead draft "The Shitty Beatles, from the 1992 film 'Wayne's World'"

3) A maximum/minimum of two superjams are allowed and required. These will be selected after the draft is complete and can only include items on your lineup. The superjams must be given a title.

4) Disputes handled via poll. Upon confirming receipt of dispute request, a poll will be put up and run for an arbitrary time limit. However a poll may not be put up if i forget. Drafting will continue while the poll is running. It is unlikely the poll response options will make any sense, and the results of all polls are nonbinding and subject to further polling or debate.

4.1) If a poll is deemed a “bizarro” poll, the poll will follow bizarro world rules.

5) Once we have thirteen participants, draft order will be randomly generated for the first round and will continue as a snake draft. (I.e., the person with the last pick in the first round would have the first pick in the second round.)

6) Each participant will have a maximum of one to twelve hours for their pick. If they miss their pick, they will automatically draft the 2008 American fantasy romantic drama film “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”. As you would expected, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” can be drafted infinite times.

6.1) Jake Jortles may be skipped if he does not make his selection in 22 minutes.

6.2) nah you can still draft something

7) When you post your selection, identify what the pick is using your words. All drafted items must be typable and identifiable using a standard english language keyboard. In addition, tag the next person after you and the person going after them to keep things moving.

7.1) The smell of rainwater on concrete/asphalt, aka "petrichor", is the same everywhere.

7.2) Beer is alcohol but it's cool to draft both if you want.

8) Trades are allowed. All participants must verify the terms of the trade. (Note: Trades are subject to dispute. In the event that you don’t like a trade, a participant can call for a poll [or a bizarro poll] on the validity of said trade.)

9) Jay-Z may be drafted as a pairing with any item.

10) Thirteen rounds of drafting (EDIT: unless we do more or less.)

11) If you are going to draft a bear, draft a grizzly.

12) Any rule changes prior to the start of the draft will be decided by me and updated in the OP. Feel free to suggest additional rules. post them here or txt me on my cell bro.

12.1) Any rule changes after the start of the draft will require a majority “hat made out of meat” vote in a poll (unless it is a “bizarro” poll). The poll will be open to all members of inforoo, and the results of the poll will not be honored.

12.2) trades are allowed but don’t bother me with that shit. And don’t anybody get cute with anything.

13) Feel free to nominate/assign/vote on as many “refs” (or “bizarro refs”) as you feel the draft needs. To nominate a ref simply tag them and give them a very special ref nickname title. Refs cannot be participants in the draft. Bizarro refs must follow bizarro world rules.

Participants

1. 3post1jack1
2. carini12
3. @radiatebased
4. Jaz
5. Vieux
6. Bing
7. NothingButFlowers
8. stinky
9. walaka
10. Katy Mae
11. Cap'n Mac
12. trantsgiving
13. Jake Jortles

Rounds

Round 1

1. walaka - The Netflix series "Chef's Table"
2. 3post1jack1 - Coffee
3. Katy Mae - Money (as much money as you would need to live comfortably and have nice things but not enough for people to call you a rich asshole)
4. NothingButFlowers - my 13 year old partly blind, kind of deaf, stubborn as hell dog Yoko, who is not named after Yoko Ono
5. carini12 - Air (the life sustaining one)
6. stinky - the 2008 American fantasy romantic drama film “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, The comfiest mattress/pillow combo imaginable
7. Cap'n Mac - Sex
8. trantsgiving - Music
9. Vieux - Roller skating
10. Jaz - An orgasm on acid
11. @radiatebased - Alan Watts talking over lofi hip hop beats to relax/study to
12. Jake Jortles - The Wire
13. Bing - friends

Round 2

1. Bing - sunset
2. Jake Jortles - Bonnaroo
3. @radiatebased - the 2008 American fantasy romantic drama film “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, Roseanne, Elon Musk, and Kanye West all talking about their year so far
4. Jaz - Dave Maynar getting punched in the dick
5. Vieux - Big Booties
6. trantsgiving - summer love
7. Cap'n Mac - the 2008 American fantasy romantic drama film “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, Cheese. Featuring Jay-Z.
8. stinky - alcoholic beverages
9. carini12 - Water in all its forms, solid, liquid and gas. Fresh, and polluted. Specifically the chemical compound H2O
10. NothingButFlowers - A Battle of the Bands featuring Twaughthammer, Big Mountain Fudge Cake, Rod Torfelson’s Armada featuring Herman Menderchuck, and Mouse Rat.
11. Katy Mae - Ruth Bader Ginsburg
12. 3post1jack1 - walaka
13. walaka - Jeff Goldbluman Group ft. Jay-z

Round 3

1. walaka - Gelato
2. 3post1jack1 - The smell of rainwater on concrete ft. Jay-Z
3. Katy Mae - Bad Boy Records from 1993-1998
4. NothingButFlowers - Michael K. Williams eating Honey Nut Cheerios with my dog Omar, who is named after Omar Little from The Wire; Omar White from Oz; and Omar Rodriguez Lopez from The Mars Volta, At the Drive-In, and other things as well.
5. carini12 - Roland and his ka tet of Jake, Eddie, Susanna, and Oy
6. stinky - All of the cannabis joints that have ever been rolled/smoked in the history of Earth, with 11 lighters for us all to share
7. Cap'n Mac - The first shower after a festival weekend.
8. trantsgiving - The Simpsons
9. Vieux - Marijuana (edible, sticky icky and vape)
10. Jaz - Charlie, the finger biter from the Charlie Bit Me YouTube video
11. @radiatebased - Flying Lotus 4D
12. Jake Jortles - Beer
13. Bing - shadow

Round 4

1. Bing - disco ball
2. Jake Jortles - David Tyree's helmet catch in the Super Bowl
3. @radiatebased - the 2008 American fantasy romantic drama film “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, Paul McCartney featuring Jay Z ad libs
4. Jaz - Rat shit, bat shit, dirty old twat! Sixty-nine assholes tied in a knot! Hooray! Lizardshit! FUCK!
5. Vieux - Glitter & Sequin ft. Jay Z
6. trantsgiving - Psychedelics
7. Cap'n Mac - the freakin' Internet
8. stinky - an endless supply of whatever ice cream flavor you would like, made by whatever company/person you prefer, portioned perfectly to your individual preferences, with a bowl that'll keep the ice cream to your desired coldness/melty level. This also comes with as many spoons as you need in case you like sharing! Whatever toppings you may desire will be served to you by none other than Jay Z
9. carini12 - original Woodstock festival. Artists, venue, fans, vendors, except for the mud and rain
10. NothingButFlowers - prancercise
11. Katy Mae - obama and biden's bromance
12. 3post1jack1 - peeing
13. walaka - authentic Mexican taco trucks

Round 5

1. walaka - horror movies
2. 3post1jack1 - Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
3. Katy Mae - Matthew McConaughey's character from Dazed and Confused
4. NothingButFlowers - Nic Cage in all his forms, air, fire, liquor, and twin, but most of all, Nic Cage eating huevos rancheros at my favorite Las Vegas chain breakfast restaurant, the Cracked Egg.
5. carini12 - The Milkey Way Galaxy.
6. stinky - the perfect amount of uninterrupted sleep, whether it be a short nap or at night time. No bathroom emergencies, lights, or noises to wake you up. Then you wake up right exactly when you want to without your alarm going off. Perfect temperature no matter if you wanna be warm/cold under your blankies. Could involve a nice fan. Maybe it also involves you sleeping naked, it's your sleep! That feeling is freaking awesome. This will go good with my mattress/pillow combo.
7. Cap'n Mac - the '80s and everything that goes with it (the 1980s, smartasses - don't try to stick me with the 1680s and all their witch-trial-y goodness). Big hair, obscene amounts of fluoro, 8-bit videogames, unabashedly cheesy synth pop hits washed out in gated reverb, Cabbage Patch dolls, Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones, 2/3 Star Wars movies, John Hughes, after-school specials, Max Headroom, ALF, Lite Brites, He-Man, Walkmen, rollerblading, Michael Jackson, Prince, Lunchables, and the goddamn fall of Communism.
8. trantsgiving - Ed O'Brien's backup vocals in Weird Fishes
9. Vieux - rainbows
10. Jaz - standing on a cold beach under a dark summer night's sky and listening to the sound of the ocean.
11. @radiatebased - 2 21 yr olds and a 30ft RV looking to PARTY!
12. Jake Jortles - The decline of religion
13. Bing - Pizza

Round 6

1. Bing - Death Grips (disco & new wave set) featuring Jay Z
2. Jake Jortles - Jacksonville Jaguars
3. @radiatebased - Juggs
4. Jaz - Plunging your hand into a sack of grain
5. Vieux - Hip hop and NOLA bounce
6. trantsgiving - Everything That Katy Mae Incorrectly Does Not Like (Radiohead, Jack White, Domino's, I can't imagine her liking Chic Fil A either, etc)
7. Cap'n Mac - Taking your pants off at the end of the day. Not even in a sexual way, moreso in a "fuck yeah, the day is done and I ain't got shit to do" way.
8. stinky - a nice big screen TV with a DVD player with every movie/tv show available to watch (no horror movies cuz I think Walaka has those and also fuck that shit)
9. carini12 - Dive bars, and the bands that play them
9. carini12 - Dive bars, and the bands that play them
10. NothingButFlowers - 30,000 pounds of bananas
11. Katy Mae - the crunchy chocolate layer in ice cream cakes
12. 3post1jack1 - Banana Runts
13. walaka - laughing so hard you are in tears

Round 7

1. walaka - The random hair that grows out of my face right under my eye that people mistake for a loose eyelash but I refuse to pluck because it bothers people.-
2. 3post1jack1 - Booger on a banana. (You know that booger you have been digging around for like the last 20 minutes? You finally get it. And you're tempted to stick it in your mouth but that would be gross. But you don't have a tissue. And you're at a party. But you see a lovely arrangement of fresh fruit. So you stick it on the banana. Because they are going to peel it first. So it's not like they are going to eat it.)
3. Katy Mae - your first car, or the first car you ever loved. The one that you named something dumb like Jerry, the cassette deck didn't work, had roll up windows . . . and it was the best fucking car you ever had and will ever have again. You loved that car more than yourself some days. you have memories of driving around with your buddies, doing nothing in particular, singing along to Blackstreet and Lit, eating chicken nuggies. Maybe you touched your first boob/peen in that car? Jerry was the best car ever.
4. NothingButFlowers - A neverending knock-down-drag-out-no-holds-barred-street-style knife fight between Benedict Cumberbatch and Englebert Humperdink. No one knows exactly why they're fighting, but we're all pretty sure it has something to do with beets.
5. carini12 - the flying delorean time machine from back to the future part 2.
6. stinky - all emotions, cuz sometimes you need a nice cry, but also sometimes its okay to be angry about stuff, ya know?
7. Cap'n Mac - Bill Murray
8. trantsgiving - the human skeleton
9. Vieux - Clean closthes and bedding fresh out of the dryer. All warm, fuzzy and smelling good.
10. Jaz - Calvin & Hobbes
11. @radiatebased - the year 2013 (before Trump was president, Live Nation didn't own Bonnaroo, Prince and David Bowie were alive, and Yeezus was released)
12. Jake Jortles - Larry David
13. Bing - Kanye West, but instead of performing he goes on a full 30 minute rant after finishing Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1

Round 8

1. Bing - Memes
2. Jake Jortles - Jordan . . . Game 6
3. @radiatebased - oe Rogan Podcast featuring YOU! (Joe Rogan talks to you on his podcast)
4. Jaz - Your childhood sense of wonder
5. Vieux - healthcare for everyone
6. trantsgiving - the summer of 2016. Pokémon go was poppin, everyone was in a good mood, I saved up enough money to dick around the whole time and I went to my first Bonnaroo and Osheaga.
7. Cap'n Mac - the moustache of Ron Swanson
8. stinky - that feeling right after you're done with a huge dump and every last bit is out. You let out a sigh of relief because you've probably waited a little longer to go than you should have, you wash your hands, then you wipe the sweat off your face, and you smile because it's over.
9. carini12- Zlatan
10. NothingButFlowers - Ma Anand Sheela
11. Katy Mae - Vaccines cause those things are awesome and I'm really pumped about not getting polio
12. 3post1jack1 - THE SILENT TREES
13. walaka -Comic books/ Graphic novels


Round 9

1. walaka - Hawaiian Shirts
2. 3post1jack1 - ice cold watermelon on a hot summer day
3. Katy Mae - this draft
4. NothingButFlowers - otters
5. carini12 - serena williams
6. stinky - a summer BBQ with ribs, burgers, hot dogs/brats, watermelon, grilled corn on the cob, my alcoholic beverages, cornhole/bags, maybe some John Mellencamp in the background. The sides can be whatever you want. Sometimes I'm feeling some nice pasta salad, maybe a slice of apple pie, the options are endless! Obviously on a lake too
7. Cap'n Mac - Carl Sagan saying millions, billions, trillions and other orders of magnitude and making you reflect on your insignificance in this vast universe
8. trantsgiving - inforoo
9. Vieux - the 2008 American fantasy romantic drama film “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, puppies
10. Jaz - the taste of raw cookie dough
11. @radiatebased - Neutral Milk Hotel's Bonnaroo 2014 set
12. Jake Jortles - Witnessing the moment that a bullshitter gets exposed
13. Bing - bunnies

Round 10

1. Bing - Post Malone making an attempt at the World Record "Most glasses of beer pulled in one hour" with Budlight
2. Jake Jortles - Reverse cowgil
3. @radiatebased - Vaporwave (the entire genre)
4. Jaz - Uncontrollable laughter
5. Vieux - falling in love
6. trantsgiving - feeling accomplished at the end of the day
7. Cap'n Mac - The dark, smoky, brooding voice of Unsolved Mysteries host Robert Stack
8. stinky - cats that are nice and cuddly and enjoy being around people, not those mean ones who hiss at you when you're in the same room as them.
9. carini12 - Bicycles
10. NothingButFlowers - Paul Rudd dancing
11. Katy Mae - RuPaul's Drag Race
12. 3post1jack1 - that feeling when you are back in the office after a three day run of Phish shows and/or a music festival
13. walaka - Crocs (the shoes)

Round 11

1. walaka - A dance with somebody you are interested in. Be it a slow w romantic dance, a sexual dance, or a silly yelling the lyrics in each other’s face while dancing around.
2. 3post1jack1 - Moms
3. Katy Mae - You can skip me, peanut butter jelly time banana
4. NothingButFlowers - Princess Consuela Bananahammock
5. carini12 - Bananarama
6. stinky - smart phones
7. Cap'n Mac - Sloth and Chunk's bromance
8. trantsgiving - This Charming Man by The Smiths
9. Vieux - Chocolate covered frozen bananas
10. Jaz - A barbershop quartet consisting of Tom Hanks, Terry Crews, Bob Ross, and Mister Rogers
11. @radiatebased - Bernie Sanders
12. Jake Jortles - Cabin in the Mountains
13. Bing - A battle concert between Led Zeppelin and Greta Van Fleet to decide which one is the best: Led Zeppelin vs Greta Van Fleet

Round 12

1. Bing - Belgian Chocolate
2. Jake Jortles - A Walk on Part in the War a lead role in the cage
3. @radiatebased - Communism featuring national anthem of the ussr
4. Jaz - Clothes that fit perfectly
5. Vieux - stoner snacks
6. trantsgiving - a lead role in a cage a walk on part in the war
7. Cap'n Mac - massages
8. stinky - cuddling
9. carini12 - William "the refrigerator" Perry
10. NothingButFlowers - All my favorite gifs
11. Katy Mae - the moment in REM's "The Sidewinder Sleeps Tongiht" where Michael Stipe giggles to himself.
12. 3post1jack1 - Gordon Ramsay's 24 Hours To Hell And Back
13. walaka - eating booty

Round 13

1. walaka - Smooth by Carlos Santana ft Rob Thomas also ft Jay-z
2. 3post1jack1 - my dogs stinkbutt and bun
3. Katy Mae - i can be skipped right now playing video games with Jay-Z while you both eat delicious banana bread.
4. NothingButFlowers - That feeling you feel when you put the last piece in a puzzle and you step back and look at what you've accomplished
5. carini12 - a proper key board for my final pick, banana splits band i think
6. stinky - how happy I've been since I've moved to Chicago to be with my girlfriend. She's my best friend, this city is awesome, and I'm glad that I get to wake up next to her every day =)
7. Cap'n Mac - Christopher Walken's dances.
8. trantsgiving - everything on everyone else’s lineup.
9. Vieux
10. Jaz - yer a wizard 'arry
11. @radiatebased - 2001 Superbowl Halftime Show Featuring NSYNC, Aerosmith, Britney Spears, Mary J. Blige, and Nelly
12. Jake Jortles - Robin Williams speech to Matt Damon on the park bench from Good Will Hunting and Scottie Pippen Dunking on Patrick Ewing, walking over him, then talking shit to Spike Lee in Madison Square Garden
13. Bing - love