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By now, most of us know who Damar Hamlin is and what happened to him tonight. I'm hoping for the best for him - that he can get back to health and recover from this.
However, this post isn’t about Hamlin directly. The general consensus is, people are praying for him and his family. Which, fine. We all feel the same way. But for those who don't believe that there's a God who interferes in dally life (atheists, agnostics, deists, etc...), how do you feel by all the calls for prayer?
Calls for prayer in vain, or to address deaths as political positioning, is gross and even un-Christian.
As a.... deist? (I honestly think that if there is a god, that they don't interfere in existence, and relate more to collective energy and weird chemistry that created life) - I never felt like it hurt sending out thoughts of healing. As praying for things is really just for us and our need for catharsis, I believe in enough mysticism to allow energy sent out to "maybe" have an effect. Even if it just keeps him present of mind and that helps what he's recovering from.
By now, most of us know who Damar Hamlin is and what happened to him tonight. I'm hoping for the best for him - that he can get back to health and recover from this.
However, this post isn’t about Hamlin directly. The general consensus is, people are praying for him and his family. Which, fine. We all feel the same way. But for those who don't believe that there's a God who interferes in dally life (atheists, agnostics, deists, etc...), how do you feel by all the calls for prayer?
In situations where prayer is called for in lieu of taking action* (US domestic shootings for instance), I think it's pretty heinous.
In this particular scenario, kind of like deto was saying, it seems more like a wish for good intention. Ultimately powerless (probably, though realistically I'm humbly agnostic as opposed to strictly atheist), but still nice. And I imagine for Hamlin to wake up to all those well wishes and public prayers would feel powerful.
*Of course there are much needed talks about the safety of the NFL
No offense to anyone here, but how does anyone think it's a good idea to have kids? Why bring an innocent life into a world increasingly defined by a collapse into fascism and destroyed by climate change?
What kind of hellscape are we letting the future live in?
What are feelings anyway? Also to answer LD's question, nah maybe 10 years ago I would have said yeah. At this point I'm just looking to make it through my time.
Post by Capital Cincy on Jan 30, 2023 22:15:53 GMT -5
I'm in the process of looking for a new job and I'm really struggling. I feel a lot of resonance in lots of places in my life but I consistently struggle with feeling satisfied in my work life. I don't think it's a rare problem or anything. But if anyone wants to share thoughts or commiserate I'm all ears
I'm in the process of looking for a new job and I'm really struggling. I feel a lot of resonance in lots of places in my life but I consistently struggle with feeling satisfied in my work life. I don't think it's a rare problem or anything. But if anyone wants to share thoughts or commiserate I'm all ears
I am not a life coach and don’t know the full context, but I think the key is balancing passions with the need to make money to fund those passions, unless you reach a point where you can monetize that passion. However, don’t stop and continue to fill your need to find meaning in other areas of interest, in turn, developing a pattern of cyclical behavior that pays for delving into another passion. Humans have a constant need to fulfill and refill. Work will look different in the next 5..10..20 years once AI actualizes a tipping point that simultaneously disrupts blue and white collar jobs equally on a large scale. My theoretical hunch is that unless you specialize in something so hardcore that you will always be needed, it is better to develop lots of different skill sets.
Don’t really know where else to vent this right now. Just got a call about an hour ago that my father passed away. I’m traveling for work and stuck a few hours away. The kicker… I’m in the middle of completely reorganizing a warehouse And it’s currently in complete shambles as we tore the whole thing down. I can’t just leave it like that, The people who work there would be screwed. Now I have to finish this project before i can get back to my family. Fuck..
Last Edit: Jan 31, 2023 5:53:38 GMT -5 by pmo - Back to Top
Don’t really know where else to vent this right now. Just got a call about an hour ago that my father passed away. I’m traveling for work and stuck a few hours away. The kicker… I’m in the middle of completely reorganizing a warehouse And it’s currently in complete shambles as we tore the whole thing down. I can’t just leave it like that, The people who work there would be screwed. Now I have to finish this project before i can get back to my family. Fuck..
I'm sorry, pmo. That sounds like a truly awful dilemma. Fuck. How long does the project take? Really sorry for your loss and at the worst timing.
Don’t really know where else to vent this right now. Just got a call about an hour ago that my father passed away. I’m traveling for work and stuck a few hours away. The kicker… I’m in the middle of completely reorganizing a warehouse And it’s currently in complete shambles as we tore the whole thing down. I can’t just leave it like that, The people who work there would be screwed. Now I have to finish this project before i can get back to my family. Fuck..
I’m so sorry. That is a terrible situation to be in.
Why do I struggle to feel satisfied with myself? I've struggled with self image my entire life, and not thought I deserve nice things. I spent so much time settling for less in friendships, relationships, my career, my health, every walk of life I can imagine. Right now, on paper, everything is going so well for me- I'm taking care of my health, both mental and physical. My career is steady and I'm financially okay. I'm in a relationship with a woman who's treated me better than anyone ever has, and I'm developing real friendships with reciprocated effort for the first time in my life and I still feel like I'm not where I should be. I finally got to the point in the race I wanted to be and I feel like I'm still not doing enough. When I compare where I am to even 5 years ago, I wouldn't even recognize that person and I want to be proud, but I'm worried that I might be so profoundly broken that I'll never truly be happy with any of it. I've been depressed and that's not how I'm feeling now- my depression episodes are a feeling of nothing, not a feeling of inadequacy, and that's a feeling that's followed me my entire life. I spend a lot of time anxious that I'm a fraud and that I don't deserve any of this but I can't pinpoint a reason why. Fuck, I wish I had a different brain.
Why do I struggle to feel satisfied with myself? I've struggled with self image my entire life, and not thought I deserve nice things. I spent so much time settling for less in friendships, relationships, my career, my health, every walk of life I can imagine. Right now, on paper, everything is going so well for me- I'm taking care of my health, both mental and physical. My career is steady and I'm financially okay. I'm in a relationship with a woman who's treated me better than anyone ever has, and I'm developing real friendships with reciprocated effort for the first time in my life and I still feel like I'm not where I should be. I finally got to the point in the race I wanted to be and I feel like I'm still not doing enough. When I compare where I am to even 5 years ago, I wouldn't even recognize that person and I want to be proud, but I'm worried that I might be so profoundly broken that I'll never truly be happy with any of it. I've been depressed and that's not how I'm feeling now- my depression episodes are a feeling of nothing, not a feeling of inadequacy, and that's a feeling that's followed me my entire life. I spend a lot of time anxious that I'm a fraud and that I don't deserve any of this but I can't pinpoint a reason why. Fuck, I wish I had a different brain.
I relate to the "profoundly broken" feeling when I'm in big swings of my depression. It's hard to not buy into it. I distract myself a lot, push myself into my work, go along with activities, see friends, eat good food, and make art because that's what it takes to not think it's all a waste of time.
Don’t really know where else to vent this right now. Just got a call about an hour ago that my father passed away. I’m traveling for work and stuck a few hours away. The kicker… I’m in the middle of completely reorganizing a warehouse And it’s currently in complete shambles as we tore the whole thing down. I can’t just leave it like that, The people who work there would be screwed. Now I have to finish this project before i can get back to my family. Fuck..
I will be thinking of you and your family. It sucks that you have to essentially put your grieving and the comfort that you could be receiving and giving your family on hold right now to finish your work. I can't imagine it is easy to concentrate on that when you are going through this loss.
We're all a mess of paradoxes. Believing in things we know can't be true. We walk around carrying feelings too complicated and contradictory to express. But when it all becomes too big, and words aren't enough to help get it all out, there's always music.
Why do I struggle to feel satisfied with myself? I've struggled with self image my entire life, and not thought I deserve nice things. I spent so much time settling for less in friendships, relationships, my career, my health, every walk of life I can imagine. Right now, on paper, everything is going so well for me- I'm taking care of my health, both mental and physical. My career is steady and I'm financially okay. I'm in a relationship with a woman who's treated me better than anyone ever has, and I'm developing real friendships with reciprocated effort for the first time in my life and I still feel like I'm not where I should be. I finally got to the point in the race I wanted to be and I feel like I'm still not doing enough. When I compare where I am to even 5 years ago, I wouldn't even recognize that person and I want to be proud, but I'm worried that I might be so profoundly broken that I'll never truly be happy with any of it. I've been depressed and that's not how I'm feeling now- my depression episodes are a feeling of nothing, not a feeling of inadequacy, and that's a feeling that's followed me my entire life. I spend a lot of time anxious that I'm a fraud and that I don't deserve any of this but I can't pinpoint a reason why. Fuck, I wish I had a different brain.
I relate to the "profoundly broken" feeling when I'm in big swings of my depression. It's hard to not buy into it. I distract myself a lot, push myself into my work, go along with activities, see friends, eat good food, and make art because that's what it takes to not think it's all a waste of time.
Also practicing gratitude has helped me.
You're not alone at all.
I think you might be right about depression- I'm not used to continuing to take care of myself through it. I'd feel like a piece of shit for constantly sitting around doing nothing- now I feel like a piece of shit even though I'm doing everything I'm supposed to. I think I'll get out and take an extra walk today, get some fresh air. Thank you.
I relate to the "profoundly broken" feeling when I'm in big swings of my depression. It's hard to not buy into it. I distract myself a lot, push myself into my work, go along with activities, see friends, eat good food, and make art because that's what it takes to not think it's all a waste of time.
Also practicing gratitude has helped me.
You're not alone at all.
I think you might be right about depression- I'm not used to continuing to take care of myself through it. I'd feel like a piece of shit for constantly sitting around doing nothing- now I feel like a piece of shit even though I'm doing everything I'm supposed to. I think I'll get out and take an extra walk today, get some fresh air. Thank you.
Stupid mental health walks are life savers. You got this.
Post by LoveLuckLaughter on Feb 6, 2023 16:50:18 GMT -5
I'm listening to Psychedelic Therapy Frontiers podcast "What's love got to do with it". And they just said "Attention is the currency of love". Which is so obvious and simple, but something I am going to sit with for a little while and consider if I am doing a fair job of "seeing" those who I love, including myself (spoiler alert, I'm not).
We're all a mess of paradoxes. Believing in things we know can't be true. We walk around carrying feelings too complicated and contradictory to express. But when it all becomes too big, and words aren't enough to help get it all out, there's always music.
Post by NothingButFlowers on Feb 20, 2023 23:00:27 GMT -5
I gave my brother my niece’s Christmas present tonight, and he gave it to her, and he said she loved it. That makes me happy, but I’m also kind of sad.
I never felt any real compulsion to have babies of my own, but I always wanted to be an awesome aunt. My brother had his daughter, and I thought I had my chance, but for reasons outside my control, I didn’t really get to be in her life at all while she was growing up. And now she’s 20, and in the last couple of years, I’ve gotten to see her some, but I’m barely more than a stranger to her. I hope that can change with time.
My sister has a toddler and a baby, and I don’t think I’ll be a stranger to them, but we live in different states, and we’re not as close as she is with (one of) the siblings she grew up with (we’re half siblings and they are half siblings, but our common parent died almost thirty years ago, so she and I didn’t get to spend a lot of time together for many years). We’re both trying, but there’s distance. I hope we can close the gap some more.
My other brother is in what seems to be a serious relationship with a woman who has three kids. It’s too early to know how that will go. I hope it goes well.
I gave my brother my niece’s Christmas present tonight, and he gave it to her, and he said she loved it. That makes me happy, but I’m also kind of sad.
I never felt any real compulsion to have babies of my own, but I always wanted to be an awesome aunt. My brother had his daughter, and I thought I had my chance, but for reasons outside my control, I didn’t really get to be in her life at all while she was growing up. And now she’s 20, and in the last couple of years, I’ve gotten to see her some, but I’m barely more than a stranger to her. I hope that can change with time.
My sister has a toddler and a baby, and I don’t think I’ll be a stranger to them, but we live in different states, and we’re not as close as she is with (one of) the siblings she grew up with (we’re half siblings and they are half siblings, but our common parent died almost thirty years ago, so she and I didn’t get to spend a lot of time together for many years). We’re both trying, but there’s distance. I hope we can close the gap some more.
My other brother is in what seems to be a serious relationship with a woman who has three kids. It’s too early to know how that will go. I hope it goes well.
I feel this. Not necessarily with nieces and nephews, but family in general. It’s like trying to make adult friends, but with this extra layer of weird pressure/emotions/complication. It’s a strange space to navigate.
Post by kingvamp999wrld on Feb 21, 2023 9:00:10 GMT -5
Glad I found this thread. Just like everyone else, since March 2020 to now my mental health has been in decline. Made poor choices and hurt people close to me. Then got SA'd which I tried to hold in due to embarrassment and shame but failed to keep it in which led in pretty much non stop crying for 2 months and coming clean about it to some of my loved ones. Anyways, since then I have been going to therapy and it helps but part of me can' let go of the past. Some times I have a great week and think I am going to be ok but for some reason the past two weeks have been rough. Also since all this, I noticed I am much more emotional to pretty much anything. I have a hard time trying new things and trusting new people. I am exhausted. I had a talk about it last night with my SO and I do feel slightly better, but I feel like I have this looming sense of badness. I feel terrible for the things I did wrong to people and therapy is bringing that out for me. Also it just makes me sad to think about how happy I used to be as a teenager (currently 23.98)
I guess it has to get worse before it gets better.
Glad I found this thread. Just like everyone else, since March 2020 to now my mental health has been in decline. Made poor choices and hurt people close to me. Then got SA'd which I tried to hold in due to embarrassment and shame but failed to keep it in which led in pretty much non stop crying for 2 months and coming clean about it to some of my loved ones. Anyways, since then I have been going to therapy and it helps but part of me can' let go of the past. Some times I have a great week and think I am going to be ok but for some reason the past two weeks have been rough. Also since all this, I noticed I am much more emotional to pretty much anything. I have a hard time trying new things and trusting new people. I am exhausted. I had a talk about it last night with my SO and I do feel slightly better, but I feel like I have this looming sense of badness. I feel terrible for the things I did wrong to people and therapy is bringing that out for me. Also it just makes me sad to think about how happy I used to be as a teenager (currently 23.98)
I guess it has to get worse before it gets better.
It's great you went to therapy after being SA'ed, and I'm so sorry that happened to you. You're not alone.
Same as you, the pandemic has given me so many more emotions and trust issues. I've lost friends, income, stability, a future I expected. Almost 3 years in it's still crazy to me how life was before. This must be how people felt before and after a major war or something, I dunno. I miss the person I was before it all, too. You're not alone.
Glad I found this thread. Just like everyone else, since March 2020 to now my mental health has been in decline. Made poor choices and hurt people close to me. Then got SA'd which I tried to hold in due to embarrassment and shame but failed to keep it in which led in pretty much non stop crying for 2 months and coming clean about it to some of my loved ones. Anyways, since then I have been going to therapy and it helps but part of me can' let go of the past. Some times I have a great week and think I am going to be ok but for some reason the past two weeks have been rough. Also since all this, I noticed I am much more emotional to pretty much anything. I have a hard time trying new things and trusting new people. I am exhausted. I had a talk about it last night with my SO and I do feel slightly better, but I feel like I have this looming sense of badness. I feel terrible for the things I did wrong to people and therapy is bringing that out for me. Also it just makes me sad to think about how happy I used to be as a teenager (currently 23.98)
I guess it has to get worse before it gets better.
We all make bad choices sometimes, what matters with that is the choices you make moving forward. And I’m so sorry that someone hurt you as well. Grief, recovery, moving on from the past, none of those things is linear. You take steps forward, you take steps back, feelings come in waves that don’t necessarily make sense. Sometimes, the most arbitrary, seemingly insignificant thing will strike you and make everything hard again for a while. But it sounds like you are taking good steps with therapy and opening up to your SO that will help you move forward. I hope that up are able to find your happiness again.
I realllly try hard not to slip into full doomer mode mentally and emotionally, but this past week+ has been TRYING ME in that regard.
The whole Ohio thing (but effects are already manifesting way beyond Ohio state lines and will continue too) is petrifying and enraging. At a minimum, there was serious negligence and "we dont give a fuck about y'all" from the company and those invested in it (looking at you, Blackrock) that allowed this to happen - or worse yet, it was directly intentional because I've seen some scary analyses from people who work in the welding industry that makes the containers which ship those toxins on trains, and they're saying there is no fucking way that a container can open/spill without direct human interference.
I don't feel safe on American soil, breathing American air, drinking American water. If it wasn't for my family living here, I'd truly be putting serious time and resources into figuring out how to leave. It just feels like this awful simultaneous health attack on our communities alongside the rise of Christian nationalism/fascism, and most of us feeling pretty powerless to all of it.
Again, I try to avoid going into full doom n gloom as best I can on a day to day basis, but that's been a hard task as of late.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
I realllly try hard not to slip into full doomer mode mentally and emotionally, but this past week+ has been TRYING ME in that regard.
The whole Ohio thing (but effects are already manifesting way beyond Ohio state lines and will continue too) is petrifying and enraging. At a minimum, there was serious negligence and "we dont give a fuck about y'all" from the company and those invested in it (looking at you, Blackrock) that allowed this to happen - or worse yet, it was directly intentional because I've seen some scary analyses from people who work in the welding industry that makes the containers which ship those toxins on trains, and they're saying there is no fucking way that a container can open/spill without direct human interference.
I don't feel safe on American soil, breathing American air, drinking American water. If it wasn't for my family living here, I'd truly be putting serious time and resources into figuring out how to leave. It just feels like this awful simultaneous health attack on our communities alongside the rise of Christian nationalism/fascism, and most of us feeling pretty powerless to all of it.
Again, I try to avoid going into full doom n gloom as best I can on a day to day basis, but that's been a hard task as of late.
I totally get this. The number of sleepless nights I've had lately just going through the what ifs in my mind have increased exponentially. 20 years ago when I was a good little republican high schooler, my goal was to find a nice woman and have lots of good little christian soldier kids. Then I went out and met real people and turned into a liberal hippie socialist. Now I just wanna be kinda comfortable for the collapse of humanity. It's hard to not just roll over and accept the doom. I know I should fight but what can I do? write letters to go to marches? god damned MTG is one of my state reps. My city is building a damn city scape police training facility to learn to better kill protestors while also killing the people protesting the construction of the training center. The feeling of helplessness is just inventible but i really want to keep hope.
Glad I found this thread. Just like everyone else, since March 2020 to now my mental health has been in decline. Made poor choices and hurt people close to me. Then got SA'd which I tried to hold in due to embarrassment and shame but failed to keep it in which led in pretty much non stop crying for 2 months and coming clean about it to some of my loved ones. Anyways, since then I have been going to therapy and it helps but part of me can' let go of the past. Some times I have a great week and think I am going to be ok but for some reason the past two weeks have been rough. Also since all this, I noticed I am much more emotional to pretty much anything. I have a hard time trying new things and trusting new people. I am exhausted. I had a talk about it last night with my SO and I do feel slightly better, but I feel like I have this looming sense of badness. I feel terrible for the things I did wrong to people and therapy is bringing that out for me. Also it just makes me sad to think about how happy I used to be as a teenager (currently 23.98)
I guess it has to get worse before it gets better.
I’m so sorry this happened. All your responses here are totally normal and unfortunately therapy can bring up a lot of the bad to get you to the good. It makes you feel raw by design, but once you get through that it will get better. Just know that you’re not a bad person, even if you think you’re doing bad things. And even further, a lot of the “bad things” we think are awful, are really just played up in our minds. Guilt is a shitty thing and we often place it on ourselves for no good reason. Realizing that is half the battle, but moving beyond it can be even harder.
Advice given to someone also in therapy going through similar things. Trauma is a hell of a thing. 🙃
P.S. Congrats on the impending citizenship though - that's awesome! Good luck on your test
I want to get out of America. So badly. But as my parents get older and are situated here, plus basically my entire social network save for one friend over in Amsterdam, I feel like I can't/shouldn't. Bleh, idk :/
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
Glad I found this thread. Just like everyone else, since March 2020 to now my mental health has been in decline. Made poor choices and hurt people close to me. Then got SA'd which I tried to hold in due to embarrassment and shame but failed to keep it in which led in pretty much non stop crying for 2 months and coming clean about it to some of my loved ones. Anyways, since then I have been going to therapy and it helps but part of me can' let go of the past. Some times I have a great week and think I am going to be ok but for some reason the past two weeks have been rough. Also since all this, I noticed I am much more emotional to pretty much anything. I have a hard time trying new things and trusting new people. I am exhausted. I had a talk about it last night with my SO and I do feel slightly better, but I feel like I have this looming sense of badness. I feel terrible for the things I did wrong to people and therapy is bringing that out for me. Also it just makes me sad to think about how happy I used to be as a teenager (currently 23.98)
I guess it has to get worse before it gets better.
I’m so sorry this happened. All your responses here are totally normal and unfortunately therapy can bring up a lot of the bad to get you to the good. It makes you feel raw by design, but once you get through that it will get better. Just know that you’re not a bad person, even if you think you’re doing bad things. And even further, a lot of the “bad things” we think are awful, are really just played up in our minds. Guilt is a shitty thing and we often place it on ourselves for no good reason. Realizing that is half the battle, but moving beyond it can be even harder.
Advice given to someone also in therapy going through similar things. Trauma is a hell of a thing. 🙃
+1 for therapy being hard, sticky/weighty work - but so crucial for healing. I have a wonderful therapist right now who is a super good fit, and we are working through some childhood little and big T traumas/triggers, some of which I didn't even realize I have. I can't say it is FUN, but it's feeling incredibly impactful.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
A friend of mine and I have discussed leaving the country if/when DeSantis gets elected and America falls into a dystopian nightmare. I have a feeling I'm not the only one here with that idea. Join us on the planning committee.
Also, recently I came across a theory called antinatalism. In a nutshell, it's the idea that having children is morally wrong because the world is filled with pain and suffering. Having children exposes them to all the bad things of the world.
Lately I've had a number of days of just mental collapse. I didn't ask to be born. I don't enjoy living in a world thats falling into fascist dystopia, ecological collapse, cruel against anyone not a cishet neurotypical white male. I've been open about being autistic, having depression and anxiety. There's other shit I don't talk about. I never wanted kids to begin with, and I certainly wouldn't want one to end up like me.
+1 for therapy being hard, sticky/weighty work - but so crucial for healing. I have a wonderful therapist right now who is a super good fit, and we are working through some childhood little and big T traumas/triggers, some of which I didn't even realize I have. I can't say it is FUN, but it's feeling incredibly impactful.
yeah I’m over 4 months into therapy now and it definitely made me worse at first, and honesty it’s still really up and down now. Confronting deep lying internal issues is not comfortable or easy. At first it definitely got me spiraling even harder than I was when is started (it didn’t help that my issue is ocd and the strategy employed by my therapist was just giving way to much reassurance to me which is horrible for ocd). I think at the very least it’s made me realize how important mental health is and just how bad I was neglecting it, which is at least step 1 to healing. And also prompted me to do actual research on my condition and the effective treatment strategies of it.
incinnati Ohio babeyyyy
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