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ok - so there are some great threads out there on dating and sex AT bonnaroo....how about some stories of sex (bad, good, or other) outside of bonnaroo?
when i was in school, me and a buddy went out to a club one night. they were serving $1 long island ice teas that night, and we got warmed up pretty quickly. soon after arriving, we hit the dance floor and started partying with a group of girls. the rest of the night is kind of a blur. the next morning, i woke up with a pounding headache. i was naked and staring at the pink canopy above the bed. i had no idea where i was, or what happened the night before. after laying in bed for about 20 minutes trying to figure out what happened, i got dressed and headed out of the bedroom. there was a girl in the living room, who i did not recognize. i said good morning and asked her if my buddy Josh was around. she pointed me to the other bedroom and i walked in to get my friend. he too was naked, and had no recolection of the night before. we went back out to the living room and had a cup of coffee with the girl (both of us were too emabarassed to ask her name). she apologized that her roommate had to leave for work (we were both pretty happy to get verification of a 2nd female) and gave us directions out of her place. when we got to my car, i noticed the car was parked half-way up the curb (next to a tree) with a good-sized dent on the front driver's side. apparantly my friend josh drove us from the bar to the girl's house, but hit a tree when he was parking. i never got my car fixed, and to this day, neither of us have any idea what actually transpired that night.
Post by oleander124 on Apr 9, 2007 16:00:09 GMT -5
Alrighty. I have a couple for ya (one is mentioned in the Bad Date thread).
I had been dating a guy for a few weeks and things were going very well between us. As we were having sex for the first time, he says to me, "Do you think we're moving too fast? I do." He says that DURING SEX. Then he proceeded to dump me. I've never been dumped during sex before.
Another story is about this guy I met and we talked for several months before meeting. We had so much in common and I just felt a connection to him. We met at the mall, had lunch, walked around for a while, then we wanted to go to a hotel and enjoy ourselves for a bit...we both lived in different towns and didn't have time to go to either house. We did the deed, then afterwards he says to me, "I'll give you 3 guesses to the secret I have." Secret was that he was married with a newborn.
Maybe I'll throw myself to the dogs, but my back's not to the wall Maybe I'll lay some bricks for the man, but the days just aren't that long So if I settle back and chill will I see far enough to feel the angel's dream? I thought it was the Story of the World!
Post by oleander124 on Apr 9, 2007 16:14:30 GMT -5
I don't know how he lives with himself....after he told me he was married, he said he was in debt $10,000 for buying porn and his wife moved out with the baby, but they were trying to work on it. That's why I prefer not to think of my past too much, if at all (and why I think my boyfriend now is the best guy in the world).
I hope his wife came to her senses and got that baby out of that atmosphere!
Post by amantesuena on Apr 9, 2007 16:53:33 GMT -5
whew. see i need to know specifics before i post on here. are we doing bad sex stories as in, wow that was a horrible waste of my time, your penis is so small i didnt even feel it, bad sex?? or the guys a d!ck, even though hes truly amazing in bed, bad sex?
i think you're pretty much good to post anything suena....as long as it was bad in some way, shape or form for someone....
here's one of my bad stories: way back in my younger days, this really nice guy, we'll call him Fred, i knew from high school and i were talking, and we eventually hooked up. it was awkward, a little more awkward than normal first time awkwardness, but i didn't really waste time on it. It wasn't all that great, and we only talked for a couple weeks after that, and never did the deed again. well i moved back closer to home a few months ago and started reconnecting with old high school buddies, and eventually found out that ole Fred was a virgin when we hooked up....hence the awkwardness.....
"White collar conservative flashin down the street, pointing that plastic finger at me, they all assume my kind will drop and die, but I'm gonna wave my freak flag high." Jimi Hendrix
I will sum up my story simply. Using chocolate sauce of most types is not as good an idea as it sounds when incorporated in to foreplay. I don't think I have laughed that hard since. He ended up with a full chocolate-flavored face, and it looked funny as hell. Save your chocolate cravings for like, the candy store.
We treat mishaps like sinking ships and I know that I don't want to be out to drift Well I can see it in your eyes like I taste your lips and They both tell me that we're better than this
Post by MickStPeter on Apr 9, 2007 18:35:42 GMT -5
Oh wow... do I feel like such a good innocent girl right now... although that could just be naive... All I have determined is don't date (or bang for that matter) friends... it always causes unnecessary tension and in some cases the former friendship just kindof deteriorates... I'm just going to let Bonnaroo be a little cathartic experience for me
it was odd... i was like "dude why didn't you tell me???" and he was like "i don't know"... but we were friends for about seven years before that happened and it was seven years ago that it happened....i guess all's well that ends well... but it was really crappy sex, and even today, now that i'm sure he's much more experienced, i wouldn't do him again...
"White collar conservative flashin down the street, pointing that plastic finger at me, they all assume my kind will drop and die, but I'm gonna wave my freak flag high." Jimi Hendrix
Maybe I'll throw myself to the dogs, but my back's not to the wall Maybe I'll lay some bricks for the man, but the days just aren't that long So if I settle back and chill will I see far enough to feel the angel's dream? I thought it was the Story of the World!
"White collar conservative flashin down the street, pointing that plastic finger at me, they all assume my kind will drop and die, but I'm gonna wave my freak flag high." Jimi Hendrix
^nope pj is telling the truth....not that i'm speaking from experience or anything.... don't worry ziggy, some day maybe you'll be able to say the same thing....
"White collar conservative flashin down the street, pointing that plastic finger at me, they all assume my kind will drop and die, but I'm gonna wave my freak flag high." Jimi Hendrix
Maybe I'll throw myself to the dogs, but my back's not to the wall Maybe I'll lay some bricks for the man, but the days just aren't that long So if I settle back and chill will I see far enough to feel the angel's dream? I thought it was the Story of the World!
"White collar conservative flashin down the street, pointing that plastic finger at me, they all assume my kind will drop and die, but I'm gonna wave my freak flag high." Jimi Hendrix
I will sum up my story simply. Using chocolate sauce of most types is not as good an idea as it sounds when incorporated in to foreplay. I don't think I have laughed that hard since. He ended up with a full chocolate-flavored face, and it looked funny as hell. Save your chocolate cravings for like, the candy store.
ditto - baby oil and shower curtain - fun until you get baby oil in your hair, mouth, etc. talk about experimentation gone bad - LOL
i find it interesting that both 1) its mostly females posting stories thus far and 2) that noone has posted a GOOD (edit: meaning good sex) story. i attempt to remedy the situation as promised with my stories:
bad: i bartended for a year or so at a chain restaurant and this one night a woman who's working at the mall next to the restaurant ends up staying till i close after her male coworker leaves, talking to me and continuing to drink. she's definitely a few years older then me, a single mom from philly probably late 20's with 2 kids as i find out, but no husband. i don't have a car at the time, so i ask her for a ride home and she agrees. now, my living circumstances at the time are such that i -cannot- invite her inside (don't ask, i am single though), so one thing ends up leading to another in her car in the middle of the mall parking lot. (i tried my best to censor next part, sorry if too raunchy but we're all adults right...) so clothes come off...and immediately i can tell something is...wrong. i can feel warmth...and nothing else, no pressure. my hand confirms that everything is where it belongs in addition to what i am afraid of, and i am immediately turned off, if you know what i mean. now, she still has to drive me home afterwards which was quite unpleasant because the conversation is extremely awkward and she is rather drunk, yet refuses to let me drive, and is swerving all over...i think it was raining a bit too. she drops me off and refuses to go to a hotel i try to give her directions to, and proceeds to try and drive from the outskirts of trenton to philly at like 3am.
good: this time, i'm waiting tables at the same restaurant (yeah this restaurant was incredibly good to me in this department somehow and this cute girl comes in, sits down at my table, and proceeds to have a full meal by herself. we talk, she hangs out while i finish all my other tables without any invitation from me, and more or less proceeds to invite herself back to my place. pleasantly surprised, after the restaurant closes we go back to my place (i have 2 housemates, one who is a roommate), watch about 20 minutes of a movie in my housemate's room (it was the only unoccupied one) and things get started (note: its probably about 1am).
i will spare you many of the details but lots of furniture and 2 different rooms are utilized, my neighbors commented on her vocals the next morning (housemates too, poor bastards) and finally around maybe 9am she is physically unable to continue, despite pleading from me (a few small breaks were taken). now, i cannot take full credit for this momentous occasion, as i was somewhat chemically enhanced at the time...but that doesn't mean it wasn't a nutsload of fun to be a part of
Maybe I'll throw myself to the dogs, but my back's not to the wall Maybe I'll lay some bricks for the man, but the days just aren't that long So if I settle back and chill will I see far enough to feel the angel's dream? I thought it was the Story of the World!
Maybe I'll throw myself to the dogs, but my back's not to the wall Maybe I'll lay some bricks for the man, but the days just aren't that long So if I settle back and chill will I see far enough to feel the angel's dream? I thought it was the Story of the World!
WARNING!!! Before anyone reads this I will just warn this story is not for people with weak stomachs.
This took place a few years ago when I was going to school upstate NY. I was coming back from a morning class and heading to my roo, but as I was walking down the stairwell from the second floor to the basement, a foul smell started to hit me. As I was walking closer to my room, the smell was becoming stronger and it finally hit me like a brick wall as I opened the door to my room.
I walked in and saw my hippy roomate(this guy looked like the honeycomb guy) and his gf sitting in his bed. The first thing that I said to him was WTF is that smell?! He said it was his shoes, but I had been living with him for two months at that point and knew it was not his shoes. Shortly after I walked in, the two of them left and I had people on my floor (and the 2nd floor) complaining of this smell.
Later that day, I run into him and tells me that the smell is coming from her. He didn't really know why, but he couldn't really smell it that much for reasons I am not going to get into. I found out a month after I left the college from him that she had a tampon stuck in her for a month and a half. Don't ask me how you forget to take that out, but she did.
"White collar conservative flashin down the street, pointing that plastic finger at me, they all assume my kind will drop and die, but I'm gonna wave my freak flag high." Jimi Hendrix