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Say that this guy I know likes to smoke mary jane, and he got blindsided and has a drug test coming up, in about 5 days. The day of the test will put him at approximately 9 days of abstaining from it, the guy is worried sick about the test and I was wondering if anyone had some helpful suggestions or info they could offer to help him out. Basically how can he pass a urinalysis?
Thanks for any help!
Also I hope this isn't innapropriate for the boards, I really wanted to help this guy out, and he is desperate
Post by stallion pt. 2 on Jul 3, 2007 16:29:14 GMT -5
Your hypothetical person should start drinking as much water as humanly possible from now until the test. A LOT. Like 2 gallons a day. Also he should avoid fatty foods until the day before the test (in fact, a no-fat diet is optimal), then load up with clean fats the day before the test. Clenser products may also help, but be sure he follows the directions on the bottle to a T. more info at www.erowid.org/psychoactives/testing/testing.shtml
John: We don't even understand our own music Spider: It doesn't, does it matter whether we understand it? At least it'll give us . . . strength John: I know but maybe we could get into it more if we understood it
its interesting the things you read ... they say dont exercise a week before because it brings the things they look for to the surface ... loose lots of water a month before, but not the last week or so .. who knows ... same job for 26 years, so guess i am just lucky ... cr****
Post by stallion pt. 2 on Jul 3, 2007 16:42:26 GMT -5
oleander124 said:
I had a test and passed. I drank tons of water several days beforehand.
I've also heard that you shouldn't be OVERLY hydrated as this is something they may look for as well. But, that may be pure speculation.
The will refuse a sample that is too clear. Thanks for remindng me of that. Take some B-12 vitimans leading up to and on the day of the test. That should keep the pee nice and yellow. Also, Don't give 'em the first pee of the day. That one is loaded down w/ metabolites.
John: We don't even understand our own music Spider: It doesn't, does it matter whether we understand it? At least it'll give us . . . strength John: I know but maybe we could get into it more if we understood it
strumntheguitar
Bleary-Eyed Bonnawook Sir Strum, Master of Rum
Post by strumntheguitar on Jul 3, 2007 16:51:06 GMT -5
gallons of Cranberry Juice! (Beware of the sh!ts, though!)
also, if this hypothetical friend were to be a very brave and determined soul and they'd have a hypothetical $25 or so they could hypothetically go to Wal-Mart and visit the pharmaceutical section and find Niacin. Hypothetically, of course, the flush-free Niacin should be avoided. Take one every hour for 4-6 hours, depending on the hypothetical size of this friend 2 nights before the hypothetical drug test. Combine this with lots of water during the next week.
Oh, and I said they should be a brave soul for this because they will have the most miserable night of their life while they do this. rashes and itches galore.
Post by strumntheguitar on Jul 3, 2007 16:56:24 GMT -5
Oh, and a story for the over-hydrated urine talk.
While on probation a year ago I went in for my first meeting with my PO and first thing I did was take a urine test. At the time, I was very into my fitness and always kept myself very hydrated just for health reasons. I pissed in the cup and handed it to my PO and she looked at me and said "when you're arrested, you lose several rights. One of those rights is drinking lots of water. Come back tomorrow with yellow pee"
this is kind of a funny story ... so a dad of a best friends of mine was in the navy .... he goes in for the pee test ... he had a vial of apple juice in his pocket .. he replaces the pee with the apple juice .. goes to the nurse ... she say, well it looks a litte light in color .. he say, well lets just run it thru again ... drinks the vial but of course it has apple juice, ... the nurse freaks out .. i thought that was funny ... cr****
Post by spookymonster on Jul 3, 2007 17:02:41 GMT -5
Drink Monster (or Rockstar, or Red Bull) about 2-3 hours before you give your sample.... your urine will be yellower than a sunflower in July. As someone else pointed out, B complex vitamins do the trick. They're also help pick up your metabolism and thereby speed up the removal of toxins, so it's not a bad idea to take some every day after your friend kicks it with MJ.
Hypothetically I agree with everyone; water, not 1st of the day, etc. Remember MJ components are hypothetically stored in fat cells so don't do anything to burn hypothetical fat (exercise, diet, etc.) near hypothetical test time. B vitamins are an easy way to hypothetically get color in hypothetical urine. Hypothetical commercial cleansers usually work too hypothetically if you follow the hypothetical directions. Good luck to your hypothetical friend.
Also don't stress too much over this hypothetical situation. This hypothetical person has plenty of time. I know a hypothetical person who had 24hrs notice after a job interview and passed no problem after having imbibed heavily the day before the interview. This hypothetical person used a cleansing product and drank lots of cranberry juice and green tea. The worst part is the taste of the cleansing product, I start hypothetically gagging a little bit just thinking about it.
Post by oatmealschnappz on Jul 3, 2007 22:41:51 GMT -5
A (also hypothetical) friend of mine was once on a very strict probation. Thankfully, he just happened to be his p.o.'s very first case. Evidently my friend's p.o. (Bob) was hellbent on making a good first impression at his new job. Bob told my friend that as long as the court costs, fines and restitution payments kept coming in regularly (if not faster) that he would be very flexible and helpful regarding certain other aspects/requirments of his probation. Bob even went as far as scheduling druqk tests 3 or 4 months in advance.....and always on Friday mornings, so that my friend would have his weekends free. Anyway, Bob told my underaged friend that drinking LOTS of alcohol at night combined with a steady (daytime) regimen of diuretics and (massive ammounts of) water can and will work wonders when it comes to detoxification.
Me, my friend and Bob hope that this helps.
Last Edit: Jul 3, 2007 22:42:36 GMT -5 by oatmealschnappz - Back to Top
I frickin' love you guys... (and that definitely ISN'T hypothetical) My friend gives much thanks to all the help that has been given so far....
I swear, no where else in this world would there be a cooler group of people, us inforoosters need to buy an island somewhere and start our own civilization, whos with me?!
Everyone is right, the key here is to make your friend pee water and then color it yellow again with the B vitamins. Standard tests only test for a component in the urine rather than what the urine is actually composed of so if done properly this is foolproof. If this is a government or military test he's more or less out of luck because they do the more complicated and expensive testing from the get go. If you want to check to make sure the clear and colored urine is clean the testing kits one could purchase over the internet and in certain stores are more or less what will be used in the real deal and could be used as a reliable test.
I swear, no where else in this world would there be a cooler group of people, us inforoosters need to buy an island somewhere and start our own civilization, whos with me?!
Since it is stored in fat, if your friend is skinny, he has a good chance of passing with just drinking lots of water. Also, if random testing is something this person may be facing on a regular basis in the future, have them buy multivitamins with niacin and B-complex pills with niacin and take them everyday.
Two days after Roo '05, I passed a test just by drinking water the morning of the test.
intersting aside - my husband was in an accident and taken to the emergency room with punctured lung and broken ribs - next morning he woke up on a morph**ne drip and a drug counsellor standing at the foot of his bed saying you tested positive we need to talk about your drug problem - beware of random testing - had a problem with insurance
John: We don't even understand our own music Spider: It doesn't, does it matter whether we understand it? At least it'll give us . . . strength John: I know but maybe we could get into it more if we understood it
John: We don't even understand our own music Spider: It doesn't, does it matter whether we understand it? At least it'll give us . . . strength John: I know but maybe we could get into it more if we understood it
*i like coconuts, you can break them open they smell like ladies lyin in the sun** *Hell I don't even know where I am** *for now I must sit here and ponder the yonder: The herbivores did well cause their food didn't never run** *We listen, if it feels good We shake** *You made a big impression for a girl of your size, Now I can't get by without you and your big brown eyes.**
i smoke heavily after, never before work and i drive a forklift so i get tested everytime my collision alarm goes off or i tear up or drop something. I use a cleanser/specimine additive that has worked for five tests so far. but ive always had 24 hours notice. if i ever get caught before 5pm i go straight to the clinic and i dunno how well i'd fare there. but since your friend has ample time i'd tell him to find a clean persons urine and hire them to sample for him, fill up two condoms with the sample tie the tops, tape them together with some masking tape and bring a razor blade to cut the ends off, then just add a handwarmer to the mix. dont worry about getting it too hot, the thermometer on the jar only goes up to 100. good luck dood and relax
I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to...
