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My sister-in-law is pissing everyone in the family off. My brother is fighting extremely hard to get his two kids back after they were taken away while she was supposed to be watching them. She left their front door unlocked and they got out and were picked up by social services. That was 2 years ago and my brother is still fighting to show that HE is a responsible parent and can take care of them. She, meanwhile, is trying her best to cause drama everywhere she turns.
I'm currently looking for a place to live and all of my belongings are in storage (except a duffel bag of clothes, my laptop, toothbrush, toothpaste, and other essential items) I went to organize the building ,so I could access all my stuff more easily, and she volunteered to help. So she came with me. After spending an hour in the storage building everything seemed pretty organized. She found an old college hoodie that belongs to my mom. I'd been holding it for her and forgot about it. She asked if she could have it and I told her no, and that it was my moms. Then she found an umbrella she liked and asked if she could have that and I told her no, that the things in the storage building were mine. I wanted them.
I spent the night at my brothers and the next day she came walking out of her room with my moms hoodie on. Apparently she had snatched it from my storage building without me noticing. "How do you like my new hoodie?" she asked, I was a little annoyed and told her to take it off. She claimed that I'd told her she could have it. No. I did not. After asking her if there was anything else she managed to take from my storage building, and her saying no, I left it alone.
Fast forward to Oct. 24 and I'm once again sleeping at my brothers house after an epic Halloween party. I wake up at 7am because I have to pick up my sister from work in another town and I'm already late. Rushing to get out of the house I notice my umbrella lying near the front door. "What the hell? Where did this come from??" I asked my brother, but he just found it when he was cleaning the house. Angry I grabbed it too as I left the house.
The next day I get a text. "you took the umbrella that my mom gave me" So I start to believe I had overreacted. Maybe her mom had given her this umbrella, and I was still upset about the hoodie thing. When I returned to town I bring the umbrella. I was going to apologize and give it back. Luckily I picked my brother up first who explained that he'd confronted her about said umbrella. Her reply to his confrontation? "Tina said I could have it! She said she didn't need it anymore and she had another one anyway." I had told her that she couldn't have it! I didn't feel bad anymore. I stopped by my storage building on the way to their place and threw the umbrella in. After locking the door to the building I dropped my brother off at his house and left. Anytime I go there now I look for my stuff. One of my shirts has gone missing after staying the night there. I'm waiting for it to turn up...
Then she stole $20 from my younger brothers girlfriend. She gave some random guy who has developmental disabilities my phone number and told him to call me. Then she started harassing my mom through text messages. It got so bad my mom had to change her number. My brother isn't even allowed to have that number because his wife would probably go snooping through his phone to find it.
Finally they were able to get one son back from social services, but the other is still in foster care. So I visit a little more since he's back. He didn't remember me at first and is now 3 years old. My mom is very excited about him being back too, but she can't see him. After waiting 2 years to see him again because of the mistake this bitch made my mom gets told she can't see him. Why? In the words of my sister-in-law "Because I don't like her, and I don't want her to see him. So she can't." WTF! Seriously?!?! My mom is pretty upset about it. My brother wants a divorce. She's trying to teach my nephew to lie to him now. She'll give him stuff and say "don't tell daddy" and if my nephew does she give him angry looks. My brother doesn't want to fight in front of my nephew with her. He's still trying very hard to get their other son back. I'm about to beat the shit out of her. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a very laid-back person. I'll usually let things go, but this time I'm pretty pissed off.
Sorry for the HUGE angry ramble, but I had to vent.
-When I Hear My Name -Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground -Blue Orchid -Passive Manipulation -Red Rain -Death Letter -My Doorbell -Hotel Yorba -Same Boy You've Always Known -Lovesick -Little Ghost -We're Going to Be Friends -The Hardest Button to Button -Black Math -The Nurse -I Just Don't Know What to Do With Myself
Encore: -Ball and Biscuit -Seven Nation Army -Screwdriver
A Thieve's Parade 2/24 Conspirator 2/26 Kevin Smith 3/11 Keller 3/17 Papadosio 3/18 JJ Grey 3/25 Bela Fleck/Edgar Meyer 3/26 Toubab Krewe 3/27 O'Death 4/11 Budos Band 4/22 EOTO 4/28 Summer Camp 5/6-29 All Good
Wow I cannot imagine losing a child, let alone two, for two years of their lives. Are you kidding me?
Yeah it really has messed up my brother. Apparently they got out in the street (because she was taking a shower), one was 3 at the time and the other was 1. The cops picked them up and turned them over to social services. The first time I saw my nephew again in two years he looked at me and asked what my name was. Hopefully my other nephew will be back by Christmas.
Post by questionablesanity on Nov 13, 2009 10:51:51 GMT -5
I would imagine that it really messed him up. I missed a good portion of my son's early life because of a custody battle. I miss a lot now just for the simple fact that he lives with his mom and I only get him a few times a week. I think I would need professional therapy if I missed anymore than what. If I were your brother, I would have divorced that woman instantly. I really hope things improve for him and his kids. Fuck the wife. She doesn't deserve those children.
A Thieve's Parade 2/24 Conspirator 2/26 Kevin Smith 3/11 Keller 3/17 Papadosio 3/18 JJ Grey 3/25 Bela Fleck/Edgar Meyer 3/26 Toubab Krewe 3/27 O'Death 4/11 Budos Band 4/22 EOTO 4/28 Summer Camp 5/6-29 All Good
He actually has been to therapy over it. He quit drinking, went to anger management classes, parenting classes, and anything else he can do to get them back. I don't understand why they're not convinced that he's a good father. The only reason he didn't leave her was because he was in college full time and she had the only job and together it would look better to social services. Thanks, I'm hoping so too
P.s. And I'm sure your kid appreciates you being there for him as much as you can . When I was younger my dad didn't even want his visitation periods.
Post by questionablesanity on Nov 14, 2009 10:06:47 GMT -5
Has his wife made any of those efforts? If not, maybe that's what is holding things up. It will be nice for them to be back by xmas, but will the other child even know who his parents are? Did they keep the kids together in foster care?
I have never understood a father that doesn't want to be with their kids. My son is the most is my most important contribution to this planet. He's the best thing I've ever done and will ever do. I work with a lot of divorced/single mothers and it seems that none of the fathers are even remotely involved in their children's lives. Some haven't seen them for years. Some have never paid a dime of support. The moms don't go after them in court because it's too much hassle.
I cherish the time I have with my son because it is limited. I spoil the hell out of him though, to a certain degree. I am hoping that when he turns 13 and is able to make the decision legally, that he will choose to come live with me full time. He's almost 4 and he nearly made me cry the other day when he said, "Daddy, I love you, you're such a good daddy". Then he went on to say that he wanted to stay with me on Thanksgiving and didn't want to go to his moms house. It makes me wonder how good of a mom she is.
Tell your brother to keep his head up and hopefully Christmas will be very special this year.
A Thieve's Parade 2/24 Conspirator 2/26 Kevin Smith 3/11 Keller 3/17 Papadosio 3/18 JJ Grey 3/25 Bela Fleck/Edgar Meyer 3/26 Toubab Krewe 3/27 O'Death 4/11 Budos Band 4/22 EOTO 4/28 Summer Camp 5/6-29 All Good
A Thieve's Parade 2/24 Conspirator 2/26 Kevin Smith 3/11 Keller 3/17 Papadosio 3/18 JJ Grey 3/25 Bela Fleck/Edgar Meyer 3/26 Toubab Krewe 3/27 O'Death 4/11 Budos Band 4/22 EOTO 4/28 Summer Camp 5/6-29 All Good
So I'm walking out of Zaxby's after picking up some food a little bit ago, and I see this couple sitting in their car in the nearest parking spot to the door. This chick opens her car door and throws a cup out on the ground. I shot her my best evil death stare as I marched over, picked up her garbage, and threw it into the garbage can that was RIGHT IN FRONT of her car. My boyfriend says I should've opened the car door and thrown it back at her, haha, but I didn't want to have a showdown. What a stupid bitch though. Grrrrr to idiots!! Can we enact a zero tolerance against dumbasses law? This would also include people who text while they drive.
Post by questionablesanity on Nov 19, 2009 15:20:51 GMT -5
^^If we enacted that law, 75% of the country would be in jail at any one time...... Let's do it. That would just leave the cool people to rule the country.
A Thieve's Parade 2/24 Conspirator 2/26 Kevin Smith 3/11 Keller 3/17 Papadosio 3/18 JJ Grey 3/25 Bela Fleck/Edgar Meyer 3/26 Toubab Krewe 3/27 O'Death 4/11 Budos Band 4/22 EOTO 4/28 Summer Camp 5/6-29 All Good
This word also has a underground meaning once you break it down. Let’s take “Bonn” for example and it actually turns into the word “Bone”. We all know gays use this word to describe the action of when they are fecal fisting their Cuban cabana boy at their sex bath house parties. Now let’s look at Roo, “Roo” is short for “Kangaroo”.So put the full true message together and you get“Bone a Kangaroo
Post by candyflippedaround on Nov 20, 2009 1:36:49 GMT -5
GRR people who finish smoking their cigarettes and throw them RIGHT THERE.... i assure you there is some kind of trash very close by you, sorry you didnt finish your butt right next to it but that is not the rest of the worlds problem... hold onto that shit and dispose of it somewhat properly. oooh no you dont want to hold onto that dirty thing? dont light in in the first place DOUCHEBAG!
ive recently witnessed someone take their butt and throw it PAST an ashtray and onto the ground, wtf? are you serious? it was that much less effort to throw it 5 feet that direction than to drop it right into the ashtray you reached over to throw it?
Has his wife made any of those efforts? If not, maybe that's what is holding things up. It will be nice for them to be back by xmas, but will the other child even know who his parents are? Did they keep the kids together in foster care?
I have never understood a father that doesn't want to be with their kids. My son is the most is my most important contribution to this planet. He's the best thing I've ever done and will ever do. I work with a lot of divorced/single mothers and it seems that none of the fathers are even remotely involved in their children's lives. Some haven't seen them for years. Some have never paid a dime of support. The moms don't go after them in court because it's too much hassle.
I cherish the time I have with my son because it is limited. I spoil the hell out of him though, to a certain degree. I am hoping that when he turns 13 and is able to make the decision legally, that he will choose to come live with me full time. He's almost 4 and he nearly made me cry the other day when he said, "Daddy, I love you, you're such a good daddy". Then he went on to say that he wanted to stay with me on Thanksgiving and didn't want to go to his moms house. It makes me wonder how good of a mom she is.
Tell your brother to keep his head up and hopefully Christmas will be very special this year.
His wife went to one parenting class that I'm aware of. She doesn't drink, so she doesn't go to AA with him, but she could probably benefit greatly from more parenting classes. Luckily the kids both know who their parents are because they were allowed to visit them with a social worker present, but they didn't keep them in the same foster care. At first they were together, but they split them up afterwhile. Thankfully when they had visit with the kids it was both of the kids, so they got to see each other too.
It sounds like your kid adores you, and I'm sure that you're a great dad. Keep it up, the world needs more fathers like you
Thanks, I wish I could do more too. I applied to be the kid's temporary guardian last year, but apparently I wasn't qualified enough then. If my other nephew isn't back by Christmas I might reapply.
I did not want to start a whole new thread, because frankly it wasn't worth it. I am so glad I found you guys and know what real music is. If not, and that was all I had to listen to, I'd stick an ice pick through my ears.
WTF was that mess last night? Yes, I know I could turn off the TV. (I taped American Dad in case you are wondering). But it was a train wreck and I could not avert my eyes.
The theme was how little bondage type clothing you could wear, how much smoke you could pump in, and how many of your top hits you could belt out. And when I say hits, I am being kind. Did I mention the burning piano?
Whitney, you were the one bright star of the night. You made me cry. So for that it was worth it. Thank God for DVR's
His wife went to one parenting class that I'm aware of. She doesn't drink, so she doesn't go to AA with him, but she could probably benefit greatly from more parenting classes. Luckily the kids both know who their parents are because they were allowed to visit them with a social worker present, but they didn't keep them in the same foster care. At first they were together, but they split them up afterwhile. Thankfully when they had visit with the kids it was both of the kids, so they got to see each other too.
It sounds like your kid adores you, and I'm sure that you're a great dad. Keep it up, the world needs more fathers like you
I think that parenting classes may help but it sounds like she needs a shot of common sense. I read many books before my son arrived and sure, there are good tips/info out there, but being a parent is instinctual. You're either embrace it and become good at it or you don't. Tell her to buy a subscription to Parents magazine. The kids are lucky that they have a caring aunt and father.
A Thieve's Parade 2/24 Conspirator 2/26 Kevin Smith 3/11 Keller 3/17 Papadosio 3/18 JJ Grey 3/25 Bela Fleck/Edgar Meyer 3/26 Toubab Krewe 3/27 O'Death 4/11 Budos Band 4/22 EOTO 4/28 Summer Camp 5/6-29 All Good
A Thieve's Parade 2/24 Conspirator 2/26 Kevin Smith 3/11 Keller 3/17 Papadosio 3/18 JJ Grey 3/25 Bela Fleck/Edgar Meyer 3/26 Toubab Krewe 3/27 O'Death 4/11 Budos Band 4/22 EOTO 4/28 Summer Camp 5/6-29 All Good
Post by questionablesanity on Nov 25, 2009 19:56:34 GMT -5
Yeah I didnt pay that much attention to it. I don't even know what city there were in. I made the mistake of taking anxiety meds and then drinkng a couple of beers with dinner.
A Thieve's Parade 2/24 Conspirator 2/26 Kevin Smith 3/11 Keller 3/17 Papadosio 3/18 JJ Grey 3/25 Bela Fleck/Edgar Meyer 3/26 Toubab Krewe 3/27 O'Death 4/11 Budos Band 4/22 EOTO 4/28 Summer Camp 5/6-29 All Good
Post by questionablesanity on Nov 25, 2009 20:10:17 GMT -5
Grrrrrrr. My son's mom, who I get along well with now, told me that she is pregnant. A little history. She dated a guy for quite some time before me, told me that she didn't think they were going to make it. Two weeks later, she is engaged. She leaves for college, gets married and divorced within 8 months. Then she comes back and we date for 3 years, get engaged, have a child, she starts drinking so I make her move out. Within a few months, she is dating another guy, gets engaged, he moves in and then breaks up with her. My 3 year old son witnesses all of this. She meets another guy, dates, engaged within a couple of months, moves in with him, gets married and divorced within 4 months due to abuse. She moves back in with her parents for a bit, then finds her own place. She is 28 and then starts dating a 42 year old guy who cheated on his ex wife 6 times. This man is now the father of her unborn child. She has dragged my son through all of these relationships with her. Since I made her move out she and my son have lived in 5 different houses with, I'm guessing, soon to be 3 different father figures. Even though she cannot provide a stable environment, only works part time (at a day care even though she is an xray tech), and has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital 3 times, she still retains full custody. If something happened to me where I couldn't provide child support and insurance, I have no idea how she would care for my son. I know for a fact that I pay her more in child support per month than she makes at her job. I cannot wait until my son is old enough to make the decision on where he wants to live. Grrrrrrrrr.
A Thieve's Parade 2/24 Conspirator 2/26 Kevin Smith 3/11 Keller 3/17 Papadosio 3/18 JJ Grey 3/25 Bela Fleck/Edgar Meyer 3/26 Toubab Krewe 3/27 O'Death 4/11 Budos Band 4/22 EOTO 4/28 Summer Camp 5/6-29 All Good
Save your money, and get 5 grand together for a lawyer, you would be amazed how much of a difference the right lawyer can make. I bet at least you can get it amended to a 50/50m situation. Also I do not know the law in IN, but in TN you are not allowed to have overnight guests of the opposite sex much less live with someone you are "engaged" to. It may be different for tou since there was no divorce, but def worth a try. I feel bad for your son having to deal with all that drama.
Post by questionablesanity on Nov 27, 2009 8:58:56 GMT -5
Jess, I spent $2k getting the visitation that I have and we mediated. It's amazing that a lawyer can charge $200/hour for the small amount of work they do. The laws in Indiana seem like they were written in the 50's even though they were revised in the early 90's. They read as if the courts expect the father to have no interest in playing a part in the child's life. I mediated for more time than the courts would have allowed. I get my son for one over night visit during the week and every other weekend from friday at 6pm til Sunday at 6pm. So every other week, I have to go without seeing him for 7 days. I call him every night though.
For a father to get custody of a child in Indiana, you have to prove the mother unfit. Which means that the child had to be neglected and you have to have proof of that. My child has never been neglected but he def does not live a normal life like I could provide for him. It's normal for him but it kills me that he is put through it. My brother has custody of his son but that's only because his ex got involved in drugs and led a high speed chase where shots were fired. I've been to two different lawyers and both had the same opinion. They told me to enjoy the time that I have with Greyson because if I went to court, I would lose the extra time that I already have. They both told me that I'd be throwing my money away.
There is no 50/50 joint custody in Indiana unless both parties agree to it. A judge would never set it up that way. I know of one case where it happened and the only reason that it did is because the parents kept the house in addition to buying two smaller houses. The son lived in the same house all year and the parent's would alternate weeks living there, which is the perfect way to do it. Grrrr...
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^^^that is just damn wrong. As a woman, I do not believe the mother should always get full custody of the child. We had a female judge here that would give the child to the mom unless she brought a crack pipe to the court house.
. When I was younger my dad didn't even want his visitation periods. 
