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Do you ever get to the point where you're tired of giving it your all? I'm tired of being the one giving 100% in all of my friendships/relationships and getting nothing in return. Always picking up the phone to call someone else... why is it so hard for someone to ask how I'm doing for a change? I feel I'm always doing nice things for my friends when I'm not even sure it's appreciated; I think it may be expected at this point.
I feel like I reach this stage a lot. I give of myself constantly to my friends and I'm not always really sure that I'm getting returns on my caring attention. And I seem to be the one that they call on when they really need something, like being picked up from the airport in Chicago (4.5 hour drive) at 2 in the morning when I've been partying all night, or jumping their car or whatever. I'm glad to help, it makes me feel good that I can be counted on by my friends. At the same time, I sometimes feel like I do a lot of the work otherwise; calling people to hang out, making plans, often paying for other people to drink and be merry. Sometimes I just stop, don't call anyone for a day or two, don't hang out in the usual places, and I'm usually pleasantly surprised when the calls start coming in and people act like they haven't seen me in ages and want to hang out and so forth. Maybe that's what you should try, just give it a break and let them come to you.
I still love you man. Hell, I'd probably never go out and do anything besides see shows if it weren't for you. It's too easy in the winter to stay inside and veg. This past weekend was the most fun I've had for awhile. Thanks man. You make my life fun.
A Thieve's Parade 2/24 Conspirator 2/26 Kevin Smith 3/11 Keller 3/17 Papadosio 3/18 JJ Grey 3/25 Bela Fleck/Edgar Meyer 3/26 Toubab Krewe 3/27 O'Death 4/11 Budos Band 4/22 EOTO 4/28 Summer Camp 5/6-29 All Good
Post by jade~natasha on Mar 2, 2010 14:12:40 GMT -5
I just read the past few rants and I gotta tell ya, it DOES get old when your friends take advantage of you.
anytime ANY of my friends decide they want to throw a party they call ME and then I am expected to put together the whole freakin think from the people to invite, the music that's played, getting the supplies for beer pong, to giving everyone directions.
I wonder if any of them ever thought that maybe one time I would just like to be a guest. Just once I would like to just ATTEND the party and relax and have a good time without walking around making sure everyone has beer, corn, etc. I want someone to walk up to ME and aske ME if i'm ok, do I need anything.
I feel like I reach this stage a lot. I give of myself constantly to my friends and I'm not always really sure that I'm getting returns on my caring attention. And I seem to be the one that they call on when they really need something, like being picked up from the airport in Chicago (4.5 hour drive) at 2 in the morning when I've been partying all night, or jumping their car or whatever. I'm glad to help, it makes me feel good that I can be counted on by my friends. At the same time, I sometimes feel like I do a lot of the work otherwise; calling people to hang out, making plans, often paying for other people to drink and be merry. Sometimes I just stop, don't call anyone for a day or two, don't hang out in the usual places, and I'm usually pleasantly surprised when the calls start coming in and people act like they haven't seen me in ages and want to hang out and so forth. Maybe that's what you should try, just give it a break and let them come to you.
I still love you man. Hell, I'd probably never go out and do anything besides see shows if it weren't for you. It's too easy in the winter to stay inside and veg. This past weekend was the most fun I've had for awhile. Thanks man. You make my life fun.
Aw that's nice of you Aaron, but you definitely aren't one of the ones I wonder about. You are always giving of yourself. For that matter, most of my friends are very solid, reliable, dependable people that obviously enjoy my company and don't expect anything more out of me than my friendship. I think during these horrible winter months it is not only too easy to stay in and vegetate, it's also a lot easier to find issues and problems and complaints where maybe none exist, or should exist, in the first place. Lack of Vitamin D making me grumpy or something hah.
It can be incredibly hard to just step back and look at everything objectively, but it makes a big difference. Today, for instance, I've been feeling angsty and irritable and just generally in a bad mood, but a little while ago I just stopped the circular pattern my thoughts were taking and took a deep breath and realized I've got nothing to be in a bad mood about! I'm at work, sure, but my job rocks. I've got more money than I need right now, which rules. I've got at least four festivals in my future this summer, plus a new kayak and canoe to take out on weekend adventures. I live in a great place filled with great people and of course all of you lovely people on Inforoo make every day more pleasant
Sometimes I just have to slow down my thought processes and say, "Whoa, it's cool, man." haha
I came in the Grrrr thread to complain about something or other, but after writing all of this I find I have nothing to complain about! Cheers!
I hear you jadeenatasha! That's the exact conversation I had with my roommate a few weeks ago. I think many groups of friends have that person that is known as the Responsible One. You're the one that makes sure the birthday girl has a good time out on her birthday and gets home safe; the one that makes sure your friends don't go to jail when they're out doing something stupid; the one that always plans trips/adventures/outings for your group (can we say Bonnaroo?)
Once you're labeled as the Responsible One, it seems really hard to shake. When I told my roommate how tired I was of being in that position, he said he thought I enjoyed it and never thought twice about it. Whut?????? I'll admit that it's my personality to take charge and make decisions when others are dragging their feet, but I wouldn't say I enjoy it.
Once you're labeled as the Responsible One, it seems it's really hard to shake, so be careful! I'll admit that it's my personality to take charge and make decisions when others are dragging their feet, but I wouldn't say I enjoy it. I'd like to have fun every once in a while, too.
Post by questionablesanity on Mar 2, 2010 14:51:58 GMT -5
In high school and college, I was the responsible one. I was the first to graduate college, first to get a job, first to move out on my own. I never got too out of control and was always the voice of reason. Frankly, I had to be or someone would have gotten hurt lol. You'd just have to know my friends. Beer, hanging off of bridges, riding on top of cars doing 80mph, corn, more corn, different kinds of corn, explosions, driving highly intoxicated etc... Granted, I took part in every single one of those incidents but I just knew when to tell everyone to get a hold of themselves. Basically, I just talked sense into them. I know that I did a god job because no one was ever arrested if I was around. It was the nights when I was working that people got picked up doing stupid shit like driving drunk through one of our former high school teacher's front yard doing donuts. Or getting arrested for possession because they crossed the center line with a cop behind them immediately after hot boxing on a backroad. You know, just stupid shit that I never would have let them do. I would have made them drive a back road all the way home but they decide to take the highway.
It was kind of nice that when I moved to another city, albeit relatively close, that I no longer had this "responsibility". My new group of friends or acquaintances (thanks to wolfaroo and inforoo for that matter), whatever you'd call them barely know me so I consider myself one of the followers and it's kind of nice not to lead the pack. I just show up when invited, have a good time, and leave hoping that I contributed at least a moment of fun for the night. Which usually isn't the case because I'm not much of a talker. I just tend to hover in the background and soak it all in.
Needless to say, I'm much more comfortable in my current "role".
A Thieve's Parade 2/24 Conspirator 2/26 Kevin Smith 3/11 Keller 3/17 Papadosio 3/18 JJ Grey 3/25 Bela Fleck/Edgar Meyer 3/26 Toubab Krewe 3/27 O'Death 4/11 Budos Band 4/22 EOTO 4/28 Summer Camp 5/6-29 All Good
Boz and I are the Responsible Ones - Momma Meg and Poppa Boz
Our friends know that they can call us in the middle of the night for a ride, we are there to bail them out of jail if need be (or at least get in touch with a bonding agent that is a friend that will get them out and delay payment for them), provide a place to crash for a night if needed, loan $20 til payday if needed, etc., etc.
And I am the planner - they leave it in my hands and I just tell tem the cost, when and where they need to be, how long we will be gone and what they need to bring.
Sometimes it is a drag - but like JHo - it's my personality.
But it sure would be nice to have someone else plan everything just once and just tell me where I need to be and how much money to have and know that all the rest was taken care of - but that will never happen.
But it sure would be nice to have someone else plan everything just once and just tell me where I need to be and how much money to have and know that all the rest was taken care of - but that will never happen.
Yeah, but then things wouldn't be done YOUR way....the RIGHT way At least that's how I feel. I would be saying, "you know you could have just _____?"
But it sure would be nice to have someone else plan everything just once and just tell me where I need to be and how much money to have and know that all the rest was taken care of - but that will never happen.
Yeah, but then things wouldn't be done YOUR way....the RIGHT way At least that's how I feel. I would be saying, "you know you could have just _____?"
too funny - because while I was typing that - I was thinking what you typed "I could never let someone else just do it all and just go with the flow because I would have to get up in the middle of it so that it was done MY way - the RIGHT way - the EASY way..."
Sorry sis! I can totally relate as can most of us I am sure....it stinks to be the one to totally give and have someone who is incapable of realizing that they are on the receiving end of so much. The good thing is that karma has a weird way of usually coming around and both a) making that person realize what they had and failed to realized after it's too late usually because it happens to them in reverse and b) those type people never find real happiness because they never figure out that what they are looking for does not really exist except in their imaginations and so can't ever be replicated in the real world, so they search their lives in search of the unattainable only to find out WAAAY too late that they were searching for something that wasn't ever real except in thier own fantasy.
Post by jade~natasha on Mar 4, 2010 10:27:58 GMT -5
So about a month ago I went to get a tattoo.... paid $170.00 for a big piece on my side. He did part of it and said that we would finish the rest in another session b/c well.. it freakin hurt and I had already been there for 2 hours and he had other people waiting.
I went back last night to get it finished, (supposed to do more shading and colors) well he wanted me to PAY to have it finished!!! I told him that we had agreed to split up the session, and he RELUCTANTLY finished up the SHADING ONLY! what a d-bag!!! So now I'm going to have to pay to have the colors finished! WTF!?!?!? But I am pretty happy with how it looks right now, just want some more colors in it. I guess i'll be going somewhere else to do that b/c I mean, DUH! why the f*ck would I want to go back to the guy that wants to milk me for all I've friggin got!
here is what I got so far. Like I said. I love it! I just want it to be more colorful.
edit: not that great of a pic, but I took it with my phone.
^ It's typical to pay in installments like that. But he definitely should have told you how much the entire tattoo would cost. I'm not sure about your part of the country, but up here $170 would be a steal for a piece that big.
Post by jade~natasha on Mar 4, 2010 11:34:46 GMT -5
your probably right but I just wish he would have told me it was going to cost more. I mean, it's no problem or anything, he just TOTALLY implied that it would'nt.
Oh yea, AND I tipped him $40.00 bucks the first session. O well, I'll know what's up next time.
here is a group hug for all the unshared GRRRs out there, both mine and yours....with love from one who will always be the "mom" in any situation, and has been since age 17 or so. That's a long time btw....
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, employees are supposed to help me do work, not ask me so many basic questions that it would be easier for me to do the work myself.
Apparently none of the patrons at the library took baths this year. I bet they may reconsider the advantages of soap and water after I projectile vomit on their asses. I'm living in a lysol cloud today.
10 % unemployment at home, I get to talk to a guy in East Bumble that I can't understand who tells me that I have to wait an hour for windows to restore my computer (< 1 week old) to factory defaults so that I can maybe, just maybe, then get wireless. Oh...and then I get to reinstall my software. A good ol' boy could've told me that in a manner I could understand, much faster. and one of our own would have a job. not intending this to be racist at all, please don't take it that way. This is just a shining example of what is wrong with our economy. Companies should not outsource their customer service to people who can barely communicate in English. period. Shave a little off the CEO salary or get rid of a couple corporate jets, etc. but don't make me talk to some robot sounding dude. GRRRRRRR with teeth showing and foaming at mouth.
A Thieve's Parade 2/24 Conspirator 2/26 Kevin Smith 3/11 Keller 3/17 Papadosio 3/18 JJ Grey 3/25 Bela Fleck/Edgar Meyer 3/26 Toubab Krewe 3/27 O'Death 4/11 Budos Band 4/22 EOTO 4/28 Summer Camp 5/6-29 All Good
Post by jade~natasha on Mar 9, 2010 17:12:33 GMT -5
^^ funny how things usually go that way.
I was trying to show my friend a trick that my dog does ALL THE TIME and I was all bragging about how I taught him to do it and how he was 'mommy's smart good booyyyy' and i go to show her, and the little f*c*er would'nt do it for sh**!
I can totally relate as can most of us I am sure....it stinks to be the one to totally give and have someone who is incapable of realizing that they are on the receiving end of so much. The good thing is that karma has a weird way of usually coming around and both a) making that person realize what they had and failed to realized after it's too late usually because it happens to them in reverse and b) those type people never find real happiness because they never figure out that what they are looking for does not really exist except in their imaginations and so can't ever be replicated in the real world, so they search their lives in search of the unattainable only to find out WAAAY too late that they were searching for something that wasn't ever real except in thier own fantasy.
.