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Joining an online dating site. Good idea? Bad idea? Recommendations? I'm not meeting any new people at this job and my stasis is really bumming me out. I just need to experience some different people. Even if your advice is to join an indoor soccer league, I'll take it. I realize you all know next-to-nothing about me, but I respect most of your opinions for some reason (in this thread specifically; don't get me started on the opinions of the dummies elsewhere).
I'd also investigate the casual encounters section on CL. It has a scuzzy reputation for a reason but there's also a decent amount of cute/interesting people on there. Post your own ad and see if you get any responses/ones that interest you. Some of my best/most interesting romantic encounters have been from CL. Also some of my worst. At the very least you'll get a laugh from some of the responses/the insane amount of "straight" dudes who want to blow you for money.
Okay so idk if anyone remembers the starbucks girl from a while ago. Well anyways I decided I was finally going to give her my number (like a month in a half later, but she's still expressed interest)
So she wasn't there working this morning. But something told me I should stop by on my break. But I had a funny feeling about it. That like she probably wouldn't be working but I should still stop in. So i go in and she's not there. I talk to the dude, and go to wait for my sandwich. Then, who's sitting at the bar right there....it's her. All of my nervous energy I've built up has been completely let go...but now I'm nervous all over again and unprepared now that I've gone into complete relaxed introvert mode. I'm so unprepared. I didn't come close to saying any of the right things. Then some dude sits next to her. Starts mad flirting with her. She's into it. I tense up even more. I get my sandwich and run without saying goodbye. In a way I was happy because I confirmed I'm physic, but damn that turned disappointing. When I listen to FIDLAR's song "Awkward" this morning I knew it was foreshadowing something. Oh well. At least I get to officially see Bonnaroo's lineup tonight.
Post by potentpotables on Jan 20, 2016 9:21:18 GMT -5
I went out on that date last night, and my instincts were right. I don't really want to go out again, but I also don't really want to say no. Just hoping she felt the same way and doesn't contact me, but I know better than that - I fully expect her to be texting me her life story again tonight. This is the downside to putting effort into dating.
I went out on that date last night, and my instincts were right. I don't really want to go out again, but I also don't really want to say no. Just hoping she felt the same way and doesn't contact me, but I know better than that - I fully expect her to be texting me her life story again tonight. This is the downside to putting effort into dating.
At least you're narrowing down what you don't want Just like job interviews, all dating experience is valuable... even when it's terribly awkward.
It sounds like she's really into you (or really into talking to you a lot, at least), so I'd definitely suggest you let her down easy but swiftly.
I went out on that date last night, and my instincts were right. I don't really want to go out again, but I also don't really want to say no. Just hoping she felt the same way and doesn't contact me, but I know better than that - I fully expect her to be texting me her life story again tonight. This is the downside to putting effort into dating.
At least you're narrowing down what you don't want Just like job interviews, all dating experience is valuable... even when it's terribly awkward.
It sounds like she's really into you (or really into talking to you a lot, at least), so I'd definitely suggest you let her down easy but swiftly.
She's definitely really into me - which is concerning because we've been talking for like 5 days. I'm the one who is supposed to fall too easily, not her!
Yep, that's the worst part - trying to figure out how to let someone down easily who somehow doesn't seem to have picked up on your lack of interest throughout the date.
It is one thing to have a shitty/awkward date; sure it isn't fun, but it is just a couple hours of my life and I can find a way usually to at least enjoy some of the conversation even if I know my romantic interest level is not piqued, at all. However, when I'm saying goodbye on a date I felt went terribly and yet the other person's goodbye is reflecting "omg this was great, I'm exited for date #2," that's the really hard part. What do you do?
I think it depends on her character/disposition. I've gone the honesty route before, and when the person asks about a second date, just blatantly stating "I'm really sorry but I didn't feel a spark." A few times I've had someone fight back against this briefly but I mean, what can they really do if you haven't felt it? Honesty is the best policy but....if you are afraid she'll react really negatively to that, a white lie isn't a terrible idea.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
At least you're narrowing down what you don't want Just like job interviews, all dating experience is valuable... even when it's terribly awkward.
It sounds like she's really into you (or really into talking to you a lot, at least), so I'd definitely suggest you let her down easy but swiftly.
She's definitely really into me - which is concerning because we've been talking for like 5 days. I'm the one who is supposed to fall too easily, not her!
I don't really know how to let her down easily.
Be kind, but also quick and direct. Something like "Hey soandso, I enjoyed our time together but I'm not seeing the connection we both deserve happening between us. I wish you the best of luck in your dating adventures."
You can use that verbatim if you want, it's better than nothing. Just be sure to fill in her actual name
Post by potentpotables on Jan 20, 2016 14:35:43 GMT -5
I just can't bring myself to do it. I'd much rather communicate less frequently and have her get the picture. I firmly believe that if you ignore problems they go away...right? RIGHT?
I just can't bring myself to do it. I'd much rather communicate less frequently and have her get the picture. I firmly believe that if you ignore problems they go away...right? RIGHT?
LOL, that's definitely the most common way to slink out of these types of situations nowadays, but I think putting it out there saves the other person confusion/heartache/anger/general-butthurtedness. It may not seem like it, but it's the kinder thing to do.
You'll feel much better after you hit send, too. Trust me!
I just can't bring myself to do it. I'd much rather communicate less frequently and have her get the picture. I firmly believe that if you ignore problems they go away...right? RIGHT?
LOL, that's definitely the most common way to slink out of these types of situations nowadays, but I think putting it out there saves the other person confusion/heartache/anger/general-butthurtedness. It may not seem like it, but it's the kinder thing to do.
You'll feel much better after you hit send, too. Trust me!
Agreed!!
I have actually had a few people tell me they really appreciated hearing the truth - honesty is refreshing. One guy even was like "wow every other girl who hasn't been into me would just make up excuses for not seeing me again; I respect that you haven't wasted my time."
The reason I mentioned the "white lie" option though is that there are some people who don't do well with being told outright that you aren't into them. With some people it can backfire and get them really angry. If you've perceived that she might be that type, i say go the white lie route. But otherwise, just send that text!
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
I just can't bring myself to do it. I'd much rather communicate less frequently and have her get the picture. I firmly believe that if you ignore problems they go away...right? RIGHT?
This is why I rarely date. I don't want to deal with turning them away which I will almost definitely do because I am an angry old spinster. The idea of going on a date(s) and then having to break it to them seems harder than beating Churck Norris in a fight. So I avoid it all and live my single life hanging out with middle aged gay men and being the 3rd wheel.
Welcome back Bonz, but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal.
So I decided to look for something legitimate after six weeks of no dates and I joined OK Cupid. I have moderately high expectations so far because I already found six women I liked enough to message. We'll see how many respond.
Post by g a b f r a b on Jan 25, 2016 16:34:37 GMT -5
Every time I leave Portland the final night winds up including an interesting lady adventure. This time was no exception. That town is horny as fuuuuuuuucccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkk.
Every time I leave Portland the final night winds up including an interesting lady adventure. This time was no exception. That town is horny as fuuuuuuuucccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkk.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
So Starbucks girl didn't text me for a couple days. I was starting to give up hope....then you know what happened today? She showed up to my work to see me (and see a movie I guess). Apparently...she thought I was still in High School (I'm 21) which is a shock....because usually people think I'm older than what I am. But I guess that's why she didn't text me for a bit (she's 22). Anyways we're gonna probably do something on Sunday when we both have a day off. But that's also the day of the Bully concert....I have nobody to go with, and I thought maybe I might take her? But she's not familiar with them and throwing your lady friend who's only been to two concerts into a mosh pit is probably not the best idea for a first date.
But that's also the day of the Bully concert....I have nobody to go with, and I thought maybe I might take her? But she's not familiar with them and throwing your lady friend who's only been to two concerts into a mosh pit is probably not the best idea for a first date.
Orrrrrr it is the optimal way to gauge if she is right for you.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
But that's also the day of the Bully concert....I have nobody to go with, and I thought maybe I might take her? But she's not familiar with them and throwing your lady friend who's only been to two concerts into a mosh pit is probably not the best idea for a first date.
Orrrrrr it is the optimal way to gauge if she is right for you.
But that's also the day of the Bully concert....I have nobody to go with, and I thought maybe I might take her? But she's not familiar with them and throwing your lady friend who's only been to two concerts into a mosh pit is probably not the best idea for a first date.
Orrrrrr it is the optimal way to gauge if she is right for you.
Maybeeee but I can see how going to a small most likely crowded punk show at some hipster ass venue for a band you're not familiar with at all can be uncomfortable for most people.
See her during the day if possible, maybe play her a song off YouTube or Spotify, and ask if she's interested in going with you based on that. If she says no, just plan something for another time and you go get your rage on at the show solo.
I just can't bring myself to do it. I'd much rather communicate less frequently and have her get the picture. I firmly believe that if you ignore problems they go away...right? RIGHT?
See her during the day if possible, maybe play her a song off YouTube or Spotify, and ask if she's interested in going with you based on that. If she says no, just plan something for another time and you go get your rage on at the show solo.
Thanks for all the responses everyone, I appreciate it! I'm gonna make an account right now. And to echo what several of you have said, while I'm not necessarily looking for anything in particular, I'm just jones-ing for some new experiences and meeting new people. I think this is a good way to open up.
I also realize that the indoor soccer comment was far too specific to not be rooted in reality. If anyone has any idea how to join such a thing, I'd absolutely love that.
there should be adult sport and social clubs in your area. i've recently joined a kickball and bowling league. it is basically an excuse to drink and touch balls. i'd def recommend it, as i've made new friends for sure.
See her during the day if possible, maybe play her a song off YouTube or Spotify, and ask if she's interested in going with you based on that. If she says no, just plan something for another time and you go get your rage on at the show solo.
I like this idea
if it were me, i'd just be straightforward about it and say something like, "hey so this band i'm super into is in town and it's gonna be loud and rowdy. interested?" you can play her some songs too but i think that'd be an infinitely more awesome first date and would leave a lasting impression rather than the normal run of the mill stuff.
it would be a pretty intense start but if she's down i say go for it. if things get uncomfortable you can still take opportunities to step outside for a second and chill out and talk.
i agree with rummy tho in that it's a great way to gauge your compatibility while being a really unique and fun first date.
A girl that I'm real good friends with had introduced to this really cute chick a few weeks back. So, i texted my friend today and asked what the deal was with this other girl and she immediately got excited and said the girl liked me and gave me her number and then gave my number to the girl and had her text me. Anyway, I'm just excited that a girl i could see myself having a real, deep attraction to, feels the same way about me. We've been texting for a few days and next time i visit gainesville, she wants to hang, woo woo!
I just can't bring myself to do it. I'd much rather communicate less frequently and have her get the picture. I firmly believe that if you ignore problems they go away...right? RIGHT?
NO GHOSTING.
Sigh, too late...
Edit: that sigh is me being disappointed in myself.
Orrrrrr it is the optimal way to gauge if she is right for you.
Maybeeee but I can see how going to a small most likely crowded punk show at some hipster ass venue for a band you're not familiar with at all can be uncomfortable for most people.
This is the Atlanta show, right? You've got Bookhouse right next door for some library drinking vibes, a fun gay bar upstairs, a hipstery dive bar up the road, and bougie-as-hell Ponce City Market right across the street. So if you go and she hates it you can bail and still have plenty of good date options.
Or if she's real champ you can take her to the Clermont afterwards.
Also I'm going to that show. If your lady friend doesn't want to go then I'll drink a beer with you.
Edit: that sigh is me being disappointed in myself.
One time I went on a date with this girl and we sorted started dating for about a month and she was way more into me than me her. I went out of town for a month and didn't really text or call,and when I got back in town I just pretended like we were friends. It's probably the biggest asshole thing I've ever done. Even nine years, a marriage and kid later she hasn't let me live it down.
Edit: that sigh is me being disappointed in myself.
One time I went on a date with this girl and we sorted started dating for about a month and she was way more into me than me her. I went out of town for a month and didn't really text or call,and when I got back in town I just pretended like we were friends. It's probably the biggest asshole thing I've ever done. Even nine years, a marriage and kid later she hasn't let me live it down.
Just like job interviews, all dating experience is valuable... even when it's terribly awkward.
but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal. 
