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Post by actually @fortyfive33 now on Jan 3, 2017 1:12:18 GMT -5
Some of you might have been aware of the podcast I did with a girl this last semester. We've known each other since freshman year (lived on the same floor) and our social circles generally overlap, even if mine is much smaller (at least in CoMo itself). I'd think to think we know each other pretty well and we have fairly similar tastes and such, although we differ in some areas.
Well...if I didn't like her I wouldn't be posting in this thread would I?
Thing is, I don't how to approach her about this, or even if I should. For one, she's pretty busy (which is a problem I ran into with my first girlfriend), and secondly...well I don't know how she'd react, and if there's one thing I cannot afford right now it's losing a friend, especially one who knows me as deeply as she does. She knows much better than most people and I'm far more comfortable talking to her about how I really feel than most (and I'm a fairly open book to begin with).
Some of you might have been aware of the podcast I did with a girl this last semester. We've known each other since freshman year (lived on the same floor) and our social circles generally overlap, even if mine is much smaller (at least in CoMo itself). I'd think to think we know each other pretty well and we have fairly similar tastes and such, although we differ in some areas.
Well...if I didn't like her I wouldn't be posting in this thread would I?
Thing is, I don't how to approach her about this, or even if I should. For one, she's pretty busy (which is a problem I ran into with my first girlfriend), and secondly...well I don't know how she'd react, and if there's one thing I cannot afford right now it's losing a friend, especially one who knows me as deeply as she does. She knows much better than most people and I'm far more comfortable talking to her about how I really feel than most (and I'm a fairly open book to begin with).
Advice?
I think you could take one of three approaches:
1. Sit on it for awhile and see what develops.
2. Continue spending time with her progressively getting more date-ish. I don't know how you guys hang out now but gently increase that. At the right time, do #3.
3. Tell her that you are developing feelings and see her reaction. Be prepared for her to say she isn't, and tell her that you had to know and now your friendship can continue to grow. And if she doesn't reject it, sweet.
I would suggest 2 into 3, not knowing all of the details obviously.
I really wish I would stop catching feelings for girls with boyfriends. Every time, man.
Do you know about the boyfriends before the feelings are caught or find out about them after?
Also, technology is interesting in that the ladyfriend and I were quite confident on the 4th that the second anniversary of our first date was the 5th. I was checking the Facebook on the 5th and discovered that the anniversary is, in fact, the 12th. We both knew the first date was on a Monday. It just happened to be the wrong Monday that we picked.
I really wish I would stop catching feelings for girls with boyfriends. Every time, man.
Do you know about the boyfriends before the feelings are caught or find out about them after?
Also, technology is interesting in that the ladyfriend and I were quite confident on the 4th that the second anniversary of our first date was the 5th. I was checking the Facebook on the 5th and discovered that the anniversary is, in fact, the 12th. We both knew the first date was on a Monday. It just happened to be the wrong Monday that we picked.
Boyfriend and I can't remember the exact date of our first date. We know it was mid- to late May and the Sunday after we met at Dogfish Head Night at The Ruck. Luckily, Dogfish Head Night is a bi-annual event so we use that. It's like the bar throws a huge party full of great beers just for us!
Who remembers exact dates when you're busy falling for awesome people?
Do you know about the boyfriends before the feelings are caught or find out about them after?
Also, technology is interesting in that the ladyfriend and I were quite confident on the 4th that the second anniversary of our first date was the 5th. I was checking the Facebook on the 5th and discovered that the anniversary is, in fact, the 12th. We both knew the first date was on a Monday. It just happened to be the wrong Monday that we picked.
Boyfriend and I can't remember the exact date of our first date. We know it was mid- to late May and the Sunday after we met at Dogfish Head Night at The Ruck. Luckily, Dogfish Head Night is a bi-annual event so we use that. It's like the bar throws a huge party full of great beers just for us!
Who remembers exact dates when you're busy falling for awesome people?
Agreed. The only reason I remember it was a Monday was because I had been going to a local comedy night that was held weekly on Mondays. I ended up skipping it because things were going well with her. She lives her life in planners, so she could actually consult her 2015 one if she wanted to determine the date. She obviously didn't know it off the top of her head though.
I really wish I would stop catching feelings for girls with boyfriends. Every time, man.
Do you know about the boyfriends before the feelings are caught or find out about them after?
Also, technology is interesting in that the ladyfriend and I were quite confident on the 4th that the second anniversary of our first date was the 5th. I was checking the Facebook on the 5th and discovered that the anniversary is, in fact, the 12th. We both knew the first date was on a Monday. It just happened to be the wrong Monday that we picked.
Typically, and more important recently, I've known about their boyfriend or ex who is still very involved in their life. So it's my fault for allowing the feelings to happen.
Right now, there are two girls. I am still hung up on a girl I was hanging with a few months ago but she was never over her ex. Now her ex is a big part of her life again, and guess who allowed themselves to be the person she talks to about it? Me. I opened myself up to being there for her to talk about how much he is screwing with her head. They used to live together then he moved many states away for four months and they broke up because of it. It was in the middle of those four months that she and I got to know each other well and spent time together. But now he lives closer and therefore is back in her life on some weekends. So I'm being an adult here and trying to be a friend to her, but it's a constant reminder of what I can't have.
To a lesser extent is a girl on my team who is super cute and nerdy awkward, but has a boyfriend. Not very much else to that story.
EDIT: I'll give you the story of what happened last night to prompt me into making that post. First off, the girl on my team is really fun and outgoing and a cute dancer. So it was mostly just fun to hang out with her and my teammates. But that's not what prompted it.
So I haven't gone out with the girl with an "ex" (we'll call her ES) in weeks. I guarantee there are at least 2-3 other messages on this thread devoted to her from the past two months. So we had been texting again more frequently and I met her at a bar on Wednesday night. We just get each other, on a deep level. Like we understand the reasons why each of us are a little crazy and little wild sometimes, and why both of us have deeper sadnesses and loneliness. It's tough to explain.
Anyway, we spend a good portion of the night talking about her ex situation. Like I said, I opened myself up to this shit. Ever since he moved closer, he is in town like every other weekend, but he maintains that they are not in a relationship. I know she is hung up on him; I've always known this. It's why when he lived far away she would go out with me and we would make out and I would spend the night with her and we would talk all the time but we were never dating. But in her words she wishes he would stop stringing her along. She said that she feels like he is keeping her from being able to move on. She doesn't like the person she becomes around him (her words, who knows if she really believes that or not). I think if they had a conversation about being together again, there is a 75% chance she would do it. She also said that she wishes he would just stop coming here because she wants to move on with her life and start new relationships.
End of the night comes and we've had these great open heart to heart conversations, albeit mostly about her and another guy. When she is dropping me off at my car, there was definite tension. If I would've tried to kiss her, pretty sure it would've happened. But obviously I didn't and wasn't about to given her situation. I can't do that to myself or complicate things for her. She needs to figure this out on her own.
Fast forward to last night after the games. She is at the bar with all the other teams and players. Later in the night, guess who shows up. The ex. And they come over and hang out with me. Honestly, the dude is cool. I like talking to him. And in another world, we would definitely be friends. And maybe if they get back together, him and I will be. But I can see that he doesn't really know anyone there and I made an effort to make him feel comfortable and have someone to talk to. Eventually I'm ready to leave and I go home.
About five minutes after I get home, she sends me a text: "Thank you for being great seriously"
I really want her to be happy, even if it's with him, but she obviously isn't very happy with that situation. And I just want to be happy, too.
Do you know about the boyfriends before the feelings are caught or find out about them after?
Also, technology is interesting in that the ladyfriend and I were quite confident on the 4th that the second anniversary of our first date was the 5th. I was checking the Facebook on the 5th and discovered that the anniversary is, in fact, the 12th. We both knew the first date was on a Monday. It just happened to be the wrong Monday that we picked.
Boyfriend and I can't remember the exact date of our first date. We know it was mid- to late May and the Sunday after we met at Dogfish Head Night at The Ruck. Luckily, Dogfish Head Night is a bi-annual event so we use that. It's like the bar throws a huge party full of great beers just for us!
Who remembers exact dates when you're busy falling for awesome people?
I remember when JR and I had our first date... Mostly because we met on a Thursday during Winter Carnival for a local college back home in MI... Neither of us wanted a relationship and both said as much, but we were instantly attracted to each other... I couldn't spend Friday with him because I already had prior plans... So then that Saturday was our first date... Been together everyday since! It'll be 12 years this year on Feb 12!
And I'm just weird and remember dates and numbers.
Boyfriend and I can't remember the exact date of our first date. We know it was mid- to late May and the Sunday after we met at Dogfish Head Night at The Ruck. Luckily, Dogfish Head Night is a bi-annual event so we use that. It's like the bar throws a huge party full of great beers just for us!
Who remembers exact dates when you're busy falling for awesome people?
I remember when JR and I had our first date... Mostly because we met on a Thursday during Winter Carnival for a local college back home in MI... Neither of us wanted a relationship and both said as much, but we were instantly attracted to each other... I couldn't spend Friday with him because I already had prior plans... So then that Saturday was our first date... Been together everyday since! It'll be 12 years this year on Feb 12!
And I'm just weird and remember dates and numbers.
Im so terrible with dates. If Boyfriend's birthday wasn't a week before mine, there would be no hope.
I remember when JR and I had our first date... Mostly because we met on a Thursday during Winter Carnival for a local college back home in MI... Neither of us wanted a relationship and both said as much, but we were instantly attracted to each other... I couldn't spend Friday with him because I already had prior plans... So then that Saturday was our first date... Been together everyday since! It'll be 12 years this year on Feb 12!
And I'm just weird and remember dates and numbers.
Im so terrible with dates. If Boyfriend's birthday wasn't a week before mine, there would be no hope.
I know Josh and I met on Halloween in 1999, although there was something weird about that year because it fell on like a Monday or something, so I'm not 100% sure it was actually 10/31 when we met. I have no idea when our first date was, but I know he didn't think it was a date. We were set up by my roommate, and Josh thought I was my roommate's girlfriend, and he was just taking me to see a movie that she didn't want to see.
The main reason I remember our wedding anniversary is because it's the same day as my oldest friend's birthday, which I can remember because it's 20 days after mine.
I love all the pneumonic devices you folks use to remember important dates. At a certain point it's easier to just write down, "Our anniversary is September 1st."
I love all the pneumonic devices you folks use to remember important dates. At a certain point it's easier to just write down, "Our anniversary is September 1st."
I feel like this might sound bad, but I'm not really that concerned with remembering when my anniversary is. So it's not so much that I can't remember without the mnemonic, but more that the reason I usually do remember is because I happen to be thinking about my friend's birthday (which I would probably also forget to think about if Facebook didn't remind me). I love my husband and I'm happy we're married, but things like celebrating the anniversary of the day we got married aren't terribly important to me, so they tend to slip my mind.
I love all the pneumonic devices you folks use to remember important dates. At a certain point it's easier to just write down, "Our anniversary is September 1st."
I feel like this might sound bad, but I'm not really that concerned with remembering when my anniversary is. So it's not so much that I can't remember without the mnemonic, but more that the reason I usually do remember is because I happen to be thinking about my friend's birthday (which I would probably also forget to think about if Facebook didn't remind me). I love my husband and I'm happy we're married, but things like celebrating the anniversary of the day we got married aren't terribly important to me, so they tend to slip my mind.
Nah that sounds like a perfectly normal approach to relationships. I dated a woman who was way more concerned with relationship signifiers than actually building a good relationship. It was bizarre. If you have and your husband are on the same page about important dates then hell yea.
Also thanks for the low key correction on mnemonic. My roommate and I were talking about pneumonia and clearly it was on my mind haha.
My gf and I don't know our anniversary either, just that we had our first date in March and became exclusive sometime in April.
Fun first date story though: we met at a Barnes & Noble in Philly; I was happy to find a parking spot in front. There were other cars on the street in front and behind me so I didn't think much of it. Fast forward a couple hours to the end of the date, and we walk outside of the store to find that the entire street was now void of parked cars, including my own. We go to the other side of the street and look at the street signs - No Parking 5PM-7PM. Poop. Apparently they clear the street out during rush hour, and my car had been towed. So then we Google the nearest Philadelphia Parking Authority location so we can walk there and I can pay my ticket, and after that she departs to happy hour and I catch an Uber to the tow yard to pick up my car. It was definitely one of the more ridiculous dates I've been on.
It kinda worked out in my favor though, because it gave me a prime opportunity to flex my chill muscle - one of my better attributes is that I'm good at remaining calm in situations that would stress a lot of people out, and she later said that she was thoroughly impressed with how I took it in stride and continued enjoying the date. I'm happy with the way things ended up. =)
Last Edit: Jan 6, 2017 23:40:07 GMT -5 by Jaz - Back to Top
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My gf and I don't know our anniversary either, just that we had our first date in March and became exclusive sometime in April.
Fun first date story though: we met at a Barnes & Noble in Philly; I was happy to find a parking spot in front. There were other cars on the street in front and behind me so I didn't think much of it. Fast forward a couple hours to the end of the date, and we walk outside of the store to find that the entire street was now void of parked cars, including my own. We go to the other side of the street and look at the street signs - No Parking 5PM-7PM. Poop. Apparently they clear the street out during rush hour, and my car had been towed. So then we Google the nearest Philadelphia Parking Authority location so we can walk there and I can pay my ticket, and after that she departs to happy hour and I catch an Uber to the tow yard to pick up my car. It was definitely one of the more ridiculous dates I've been on.
It kinda worked out in my favor though, because it gave me a prime opportunity to flex my chill muscle - one of my better attributes is that I'm good at remaining calm in situations that would stress a lot of people out, and she later said that she was thoroughly impressed with how I took it in stride and continued enjoying the date. I'm happy with the way things ended up. =)
Went on a date today with a girl I met on Tinder - it went very well. She's been to several Bonnaroos as well, so we spent the majority of our time talking about music and fests and such; it was pretty great to have substantive music-based conversation, because I don't get too much of that outside of Inforoo. She also has a deep understanding of the fact that pizza = love, so I don't anticipate any religious incompatibility issues, which is important.
We met up at a Barnes & Noble in Philly, and upon leaving I realized that in my infinite lack of observational skills, I neglected to notice that there was no parking after 3:30 in the space in which I was parked. So my jawn got towed. She walked with me to the Parking Authority office so I could pay my towing fee before she Ubered off to meet with her friends for happy hour. Even with the annoying (and expensive) car debacle, overall I still had a very pleasant afternoon. She's cute and easy to talk to, and I plan on seeing her again soon. I admittedly didn't feel any sparky butterflies, but I haven't really felt them for anyone in years so I've kinda stopped taking stock in that. I've just considered that to be a symptom of getting older, though the Elders have told me that sometimes those things take time to develop. We will see.
Welcome back Bonz, but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal.
My roommate was out of town this weekend. I got to spend a lot of time with his cats and it's the most interaction I've had in a while. I think we might hang out again soon.
Welcome back Bonz, but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal.
It was in my carefree youth, but now I'm old and picky.
My friend likes to tell me things like, "You don't get to participate in this conversation, your vagina has cobwebs"
I have loving friends.
Haha. After the lady and I had been dating a bit, we were out drinking, and her friends asked "so, tell me something. Exactly how much dust was on her vagina?" She turned an amazing shade of red at that point and expressed a similar sentiment about friendship.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
There would be a difference though between choice and just not having any luck in the game
Yeah, here's was much more choice than luck. She went on a lot of terrible dates before she met me which went a long way in making my mediocre date seem awesome.
There would be a difference though between choice and just not having any luck in the game
Yeah, here's was much more choice than luck. She went on a lot of terrible dates before she met me which went a long way in making my mediocre date seem awesome.
I wasn't specifically referencing your lady friend when I mentioned luck, as I've yet to meet her and have no idea of her back story.
I was referring to choosing to be single vs. wanting to date someone and just not having found the right person for a potential relationship yet.
but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal. 
