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Here you'll find info about artists, rumors, camping tips, and the infamous Roo Clues. Have a look around then create an account and join in the fun. See you at Bonnaroo!!
Post by g a b f r a b on May 12, 2013 17:35:03 GMT -5
Dang that's an interesting ploy that dude has going on. I severely doubt his illness is real or as severe as he claims, but it's an ingenious angle to take.
Here's the ad I've been trolling with lately. I'll put it and the responses in a spoiler since it's all a tad NSFW:
1. "Oh hell yes! How about I just end it for him while we bang?"
I asked if he knew how to do that and this was his response: "Yeah I'll just look it up on the internet. Anyhow, I'd rub your bump in oil, then drape my balls across it for a few. After that, put my c*ck in you slow.. and deep. Balls deep. Then hold it there until I feel you twich a little. Deal?"
2. "Hey seen Ur add n wanted to know if I was the guy u are looking for. I love pregnant sex. I've done it b4. Id love to lay behind u hold Ur belly as we slowly have sex I love going down on girls. It's ok if Ur hairy understandable for have a big sexy belly."
3. "would you like your a$$hole licked? does your bump need a golden shower? I would love to play with your pregnant bump and give it kisses all night."
4. "i can show you a great time
my music choices would be... tool, rage, marley, ben harper, michael franti, phish,string cheese, yonder mountain, dave, cake, sublime, wookiefoot, oasis...just to name a few."
I told him I love Phish and that we should pick a long jam for our lovemaking. His response: "maze is my favorite phish song, and it is really long with a lot of good jams! it would be so hot to get wild with that in the back round
i am very very open minded, and kinky as well, so there is nothing i would not be up for doing i could totally lick and rub all over your belly i really really love giving oral, so i hope you like your p*ssy and ass eaten too... but let me know what you want done to your bump and i am there
yes i can drive"
5. "One thing that I am an expert at is making women squirt. I can make women have such a stron gorgasm that they ejaculate and I usuallydrink al the c*m. Yum"
6. "do you have any pictures? not sure what i would do with your bump, never been asked that before, most likely i would think of things on the spot. do you get high at all?"
I said I got high and asked what kind of dr*gs he could provide for me to do while pregz.
His response: "do you like speed?"
7. "Ok..I will take care of you..run you and give you the sex you need..now if you change your mind about ending, if you choose to, I will take your son and raise him and you can chose to be in his life if you want..so in the meantime, I can take care of your sexual needs .and afterwards too..please let me know..Paul..how do I get a hold of you?"
8. "Ill shoot my c*m all over your bump and lick your p*ssy"
Post by g a b f r a b on May 15, 2013 1:47:12 GMT -5
O'neil, that's a nice example of the good CL can do. What they want is specific enough that it'd be hard to locate without the aid of the internet. I like that people are using CL to explore their sexuality and bring new elements into their relationship. When it's a couple things seem less sinister, though that's not entirely fair of me to think.
I know I'm presenting most of my ridiculous finds in a mocking tone. There's no doubt CL is littered with creepy misogynists and those clinging to their humanity by a gutter clogged with hatred and c*m. But underneath the ridiculous is a very interesting tool that can be utilized for sex positivity, fetish exploration, and an examination on the manifestations of loneliness. I often find myself flipping between this view and just hoping I come across a guy who wants to bang armpits. Either way, it's all underpinned with my intense curiosity that arises at the crossroads of sex and internet.
This Iron Man one uses identical sentences so it's prob just someone goofing around.
I want this thread to be inclusive of general trolling and internet people watching. Stuff like OKC Goldmine is perfect. That site and some people in chat inspired me to set up an okcupes profile.
It was made solely to elicit ridiculous messages. Unfortunately 95% of them are buku boring. Fortunately, my profile mentions licking and sniffing people's behinds. I've received many kind solicitations relating to that topic. I compiled one day's worth into a massive NSFW spoiler pic:
g a b f r a b, can you ask him if he was planning on using a paper plate? I don't think there's a setting on any dishwasher in the world that is strong enough for "poo".
Post by g a b f r a b on May 22, 2013 16:24:58 GMT -5
There's always a chance there's a troll or two in the mix but I severely doubt it. Sometimes with my CL trolls I get troll emails but I try parse those out. With the abortion ad I included one response in my post that was probably trolling because I thought it was funny. But overwhelmingly I'd say these dudes are genuine. I feel that they see a dumb person's profile looking for sex and feel free to say whatever. The lure of sex is the strongest bait out there. There's a societal subsection of dude's who'll go to ridiculous lengths for a few moments of pleasure. And oftentimes there's more to these conversations than what I post, I just lay out the good bits. Also keep in mind they're on a legit dating website looking for people.
Some of them are quite explicit in their profiles, talking about how endowed they are and what they can offer in bed. Others there's a complete mismatch between profile and what they're saying in messages. I've had some dudes who talk about chivalry and raising a family in public, then call Sasha a c*nt and offer to pimp her in private.
I also think butt licking is sort of a fantasy quirk for lots of people that never gets fulfilled. When they see it mentioned so openly they become intrigued. The no risk environment that is the internet allows them to safely explore the concept of it and be a bit primal, disgusting, etc.
Some of the dudes in those photos continue to ask me for sex, butt licking, etc. well after I've stopped talking to them. I'd say they're real. Here's a message that just rolled in that's pretty representative of how upfront these guys can be in their first communication:
"I want to f*ck you so hard right now! Holy sh*t that was a hot profile to read! You only have the one pic, and i am absolutely dying to see the rest of your body...preferably naked. To be honest, i kinda have this thing about pregnant chicks. For some reason a naked pregnant chick just makes me want to c*m like crazy...if i saw you naked right now i would c*m, hard! Please make me cum! I want to see your body bad! Text me at ***-***-5788...im rock-hard, waiting for you! You could also email at *******@gmail.com"
Sasha broke two dates yesterday: one with a dude who wanted to pay her for sex, the other who has no problem with getting a pregnant lady drunk. The drunk guy was a rescheduled date because the first night he wasn't allowed in the bar they were to meet at due to his backpack. The pay for sex dude has a reschedule with her today. She was afraid to meet because she thought he was a terrorist and hadn't been taking her depression meds! I'm going to sit in McDonald's and watch him as he waits for her. I'm trying to schedule with another of Sasha's lovers to show up at the same time but we just hit this snafu:
"I'm not sure what's going on with a sitter for my little girl at the moment might be a little later"
Post by g a b f r a b on May 25, 2013 21:03:06 GMT -5
Lately my parents have been worried about their 27 year old son being unemployed. But now there's no more need for them to fret! I just now found my new career:
I wish my parents would answer the phone so I can tell them the good news.
Post by g a b f r a b on May 29, 2013 1:39:41 GMT -5
No haha but I'm glad you posted that! I've read every entry on his site and some of it has made me laugh buku hard. I'm not sure if I'm influenced by him as I've been doing stuff like this since I was fifteen, but his use of CL is ingenious. I wish he'd update again. If y'all haven't read his site then check it out. Each entry is pretty short and the dude is a good troll who knows how to work his targets for good responses.
Here's probably the weirdest message my OKC has received yet:
02/08 Tool 02/11 Jeff Mangum 02/17 of Montreal 02/29 Blind Pilot 03/31 The Naked & The Famous 05/14 M83 and I Break Horses 05/19 Flaming Lips, Young the Giant, Dawes and AWOLNATION 06/07 Bonnaroo 2012!!! 06/13 Roger Waters 07/28 Toadies
ok...this is not craigslist related, but I discovered this website recently and it has brought many lulz: okcgoldmine.com/ Fans of this thread should appreciate it the most so I'm posting it here instead of creating a new thread or letting it get buried in random thoughts thread. Forgive me if it has already been posted on this forum somewhere and I missed it.
edit: also this one got me the hardest because it looks JUST like a friend of mine:
I HATE the friend zone. The friend zone is something guys invented so that they can ruthlessly chase after every woman they meet through "friendship," then call the girl a c*** when she thinks she and the guy are friends instead of catching on to his ulterior motives.
I'm sick of guys putting me in the "girlfriend zone." Here I am, trying to be friends with the guy and then he's suddenly trying to unbutton my shirt while watching "My Little Pony." WTF?
Did he poop with all his clothes on? Don't leave us hanging.
He sent this lame response about how he's not allowed to play with poop, vomit, or blood in the room where his master allows him to use the internet. As a consolation he pooped in a toilet for me.
1. I know that dog costume will fit me perfect. I like this fantasy. Makes me want to bark and Howell. Even thanking of humping your leg. Even puting my nose in your crotch and lick. Ruff ruff
2. Your fantasy sounds like fun! I'm 27, husky, 6' or so and very hairy, even have a beard! I've personally had a lot of fantasies involving animals that I'd never want to actually act out with an animal.
3. Hi I can help you fulfill your doggy fantasy. I'd love to f*ck a girl in the ass, been a long time for me. If acting out your fantasy helps me get it then that's fine with me. Fantasies are weird, no judgement from here. One thing though. I have a fantasy of getting deep throated until my jizz sprays down your throat. Is that something you could go along with afterwards? I'm 42, 5'11, 210lbs. I bet your doggy outfit would fit me nicely. Nick
4. I'm Brandon. First, I am going to say way to go for just putting yourself out there. I chuckled a few times when reading it, but the freakish lover inside me said..... "OH how I hope this goes down". If you dont choose me that is totally fine, but I do wish for you a great fantasy f*ck....... one that satisfies this vision for yourself and Sloopy.... =) This takes a little courage I am not gonna lie. For you and for me....lol. I have experience as an actor so I think I would be a great candidate because once I completely sumurge myself into the role I believe it will be a better experience for you, rather than someone who is in it for themselves. I would like to be of assistance, I think this is great...... I also think that it would be a once in a lifetime thing...... maybe for the both of us. =)
5. Subject Line: Pig Ears Let me be completely upfront, I want to do this because I want to f*ck a girl in the ass and haven't had any luck. That being said I will wear the suit, I will talk dirty, and completely role play as a Harris if it means I get to f*ck you sweet a$$hole.
6. Pleaser. 5'11", average build, I broke a rule and brushed my teeth - wine or beer would bring back some dog breath.
7. It doesn't seem like a Disney fantasy, so dirty dog talk may be mixed.
I am 5'11"
8. This guy included a bunch of pics of him at the backroom of a vet's office with a parrot on his shoulder and caged animals nearby:
First off: It's really hard to believe you're real. But on the off chance you are - because your fantasy turns me the hell on - I'm going to respond. Note: I'm not being a d*ck and asking if you ARE real - just sayin' ... it's hard to believe.
Second: Glad to see you posted again. I was super annoyed when I typed out my response only to see you had gotten flagged. So flippin' lame. I think guys do it to limit how many responses you get. Ultra ridiculous.
I'm responding because I think it's totally awesome that you've got this fantasy, aren't going to abuse a real dog, and have found an awesome way to fulfill the fantasy. I'm in vet med, and people who <actually> use dogs kinda sorta piss me off a little. But, I'm also pretty non-judgmental and I understand the <fantasy>. So your creative solution? It's awesome, it rocks, and it deserves to be rewarded. I'm happy to re-read your fantasy a few more times so I have it down pat and can stick to the book, so to speak.
What's in it for me?
It turns me on to no end to know I'm fulfilling somebody's fantasy. I enjoy sex the most when I see the other person just melting because of how awesome it is for them. So if this is your fantasy .... I'm happy to bark, pant, lick you, and f*ck you doggy-style. If you want it anally first, that's fine with me. If you want to lead me back to the kennel ... I'm happy to do it. It would be my reward just to see you get off on your fantasy, ya know?
For what it's worth, I'm not a flake. Or an asshole.
I am older (34), but you said you didn't care, so I'm replying anyway. I'm 6' tall, but you said the suit should fit. I live west of Minneapolis - about 20 minutes from Dinkytown. So that works, too.
All in all, I'm down for playing out your fantasy.
02/08 Tool 02/11 Jeff Mangum 02/17 of Montreal 02/29 Blind Pilot 03/31 The Naked & The Famous 05/14 M83 and I Break Horses 05/19 Flaming Lips, Young the Giant, Dawes and AWOLNATION 06/07 Bonnaroo 2012!!! 06/13 Roger Waters 07/28 Toadies
Post by g a b f r a b on Jan 13, 2014 20:43:33 GMT -5
NSFW but I came across one of my fav CL finds ever the other night. I emailed the guy posing as a woman looking to take a shot of horse juice but he didn't bite the bait:
Post by g a b f r a b on Aug 14, 2014 23:35:18 GMT -5
When I'm not at home in North Dakota I sometimes get laid off of Craigslist. I had an ad up the other day and received this message:
"This might be weird but would u be interested in meeting my mother when shes drunk and seducing her? if not its cool, i understand its not guaranteed but still"
I asked for some more details and why they wanted their mom to get laid. The response:
"shes on the left in pic 48 honestly i just wanna hear u pound her"
Their mom was hot so I said I was interested. I asked if they were her son or daughter, already knowing the answer. Their response:
"im her son whats ur number ill txt u"
I sent my number. I doubt anything will come of it but if I bang this dude's mom while he jerks off through the walls I'll be so fucking happy. Here's to hoping.
When I'm not at home in North Dakota I sometimes get laid off of Craigslist. I had an ad up the other day and received this message:
"This might be weird but would u be interested in meeting my mother when shes drunk and seducing her? if not its cool, i understand its not guaranteed but still"
I asked for some more details and why they wanted their mom to get laid. The response:
"shes on the left in pic 48 honestly i just wanna hear u pound her"
Their mom was hot so I said I was interested. I asked if they were her son or daughter, already knowing the answer. Their response:
"im her son whats ur number ill txt u"
I sent my number. I doubt anything will come of it but if I bang this dude's mom while he jerks off through the walls I'll be so fucking happy. Here's to hoping.
