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Post by relaxrelapse on Jul 1, 2013 20:23:51 GMT -5
Sorry if this is lengthy. Hopefully my storytelling will keep you captivated enough....
So me and a friend of mine got separated during the Wu-Tang show. Her phone died earlier that day, but we were to meet each other in the VIP viewing area at the Which Stage. She was talking to an employee (red shirt so one of the higher ups) while smoking a cigarette. I don't smoke so I decided to head in.
Well the show ended, and I couldn't find her. I walked around a bit, heading back to the tent, and still couldn't find her. She had my number written on her arm incase we got separated, but she never contacted me so I was a little worried. I figured most people would be watching Paul McCartney, so after grabbing a piece of pizza I kept looking. It was getting dark though so I knew it was only going to get harder to find each other. I watched half of Macca's set and then headed to where The XX would be performing. I knew she wanted to see them, and that she wasn't too interested in Paul McCartney so I headed over there thinking I might find her. Unsurprisingly she wasn't there either. So I went back to Paul and watched most of his set. I left early to head back to The XX to see them, and hopefully find her.
A couple of songs in, I was starting to get tired. I really wanted to stay up for Pretty Lights, but I was beat from earlier that day and headed to the tent. She's technically an adult so I figured she could find her way back.
I walked up to our tent and saw something was off about the entrance. I was just there not more than an hour before and clearly remembered closing all the zippers. Maybe she finally made it back to the tent, but the aura of the whole situation felt wrong. I was afraid to open the tent and see what was inside. This is MY tent though. I have every right to enter it. I decided to open the tent.
There standing INSIDE the tent was the Bonnaroo Employee I had met earlier that day. His shoes were off, but other than that (thankfully) fully clothed. He greeted me with a sheepish "Hey", and I greeted him with a stern "Get out". He left mumbling something about "Just seeing if she wanted to come back out".
I was visibly shaken by the whole experience. From what she told me the next day she was "5 beers in and high as fuck", so was for the most part passed out. When I asked her what he was doing there she asked "What are you talking about?" I don't know if she was playing dumb or not, but she stuck with her story to this day. I tried to prod her with a few more questions about what happened, but besides some basic things she was only becoming more frustrated I wasn't just letting her sleep. At this point I had the difficult decision of either going looking for him or staying in the tent and waiting to see if he decided to try again. She let out a sheepish "Don't leave" so I decided to wait it out. I slept with my shoes right next to the door that night.
....
The next day she was able to share a little bit more of what had happened the day before. Although I pointed it out to her, she was trying to enter the wrong VIP area. I guess in her defense the VIP enterance and "Roll Like a Rockstar" / Handicap entrance were only a few feet away. When she couldn't find me the guy invited her backstage. She's the type of girl who won't say no most of the time so she went with him. She was able to walk behind the stages with him. He was also going to try and get her backstage for Paul McCartney, but the other staff members wouldn't allow him to take her back. The ended up going to the VIP hill where he bought her a few beers. After getting a little tipsy and smoking most of the weed she had she wanted to head back. It was dark by then and he got another staff member to take her back on one of the golf carts.
She said she had gotten to the tent half an hour before I got there. They dropped her off and were on there way. So if she was telling the truth the guy came back to the tent 30 minutes after dropping her off.
Now I don't have a problem with an employee using what he has at his disposal to get with someone. I don't have a problem with her drinking and smoking (though I wish she would've called me before she got too out of it). I have a BIG problem with someone entering a tent I share when they weren't invited in. It turned a second home into a place I didn't feel safe. I'm not going to lie. It killed my vibe for a little bit of the next day.
Not to play devils advocate here. But. This sounds pretty normal.
She got effed and bided her time with someone that she'll never see again. It happens to the best of us.
The fact that he was in her tent is a little creepy. But if a few beers and some pot were all that were indulged in, I don't see a real problem.
In hindsight I would have engaged in a conversation with "guy" to get a second point of view.
But it doesn't sound too rapey if it all happened the way you said.
If anything next time have a conversation with tent mates before the festival to lay out some ground rules. Like. "Hey, while we share an address don't invite ransoms into the tent. " if you plant that seed then the other person will have in the back of their mind to say "check yourself "
Hope this situation doesn't ruin future festival endeavors.
Post by pondo ROCKS on Jul 1, 2013 22:31:56 GMT -5
My questions are as follows...
1. He was fully clothed correct?
2. Both of you guys share a tent?
Here is the way to solve this problem. Take 2 smaller tents next time. Me and my buddy Dave always pack 2 tents just in case something like this happens. (long story short, you never know but it is pretty hot and such. To me, it just seems like a perfect way to avoid any problems). The fact that the guy was fully clothed does bode well for the situation I suppose. Next question is this: Was any thing stolen? Was anything missing when you guys packed up?
Providing an outlet and a voice for music lovers to unite under the common theme of music for all. Join The Pondo Army to show your allegiance to musical freedom! Fighting for no censorship of the arts & music education in schools, The Pondo Army will triumph! The Pondo Army Movement
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Here is the way to solve this problem. Take 2 smaller tents next time. Me and my buddy Dave always pack 2 tents just in case something like this happens. (long story short, you never know but it is pretty hot and such. To me, it just seems like a perfect way to avoid any problems). The fact that the guy was fully clothed does bode well for the situation I suppose. Next question is this: Was any thing stolen? Was anything missing when you guys packed up?
I hope your time was not ruined by all of this.
Sooooooooooo, just curiousssssssssssss, when you have Roo sex, do you leave the horns on?
Providing an outlet and a voice for music lovers to unite under the common theme of music for all. Join The Pondo Army to show your allegiance to musical freedom! Fighting for no censorship of the arts & music education in schools, The Pondo Army will triumph! The Pondo Army Movement
Follow me on twitter@Pondoknowsbest
Here is the way to solve this problem. Take 2 smaller tents next time. Me and my buddy Dave always pack 2 tents just in case something like this happens. (long story short, you never know but it is pretty hot and such. To me, it just seems like a perfect way to avoid any problems). The fact that the guy was fully clothed does bode well for the situation I suppose. Next question is this: Was any thing stolen? Was anything missing when you guys packed up?
I hope your time was not ruined by all of this.
Sooooooooooo, just curiousssssssssssss, when you have Roo sex, do you leave the horns on?
Here is the way to solve this problem. Take 2 smaller tents next time. Me and my buddy Dave always pack 2 tents just in case something like this happens. (long story short, you never know but it is pretty hot and such. To me, it just seems like a perfect way to avoid any problems). The fact that the guy was fully clothed does bode well for the situation I suppose. Next question is this: Was any thing stolen? Was anything missing when you guys packed up?
I hope your time was not ruined by all of this.
Sooooooooooo, just curiousssssssssssss, when you have Roo sex, do you leave the horns on?
From what I read, a) the employee came back to the tent when he wasn't invited and b) when the employee got there, the girl was essentially passed out/out of it. Maybe he was just trying to take care of the chick because he was worried about her, but if he had any intention of something happening between her and him, then no, what he was doing wasn't right and isn't something to joke about. He knew she was messed up, hence getting her a ride back to her tent. If someone is so out of it that they can't walk back to their VIP camp, then yeah, there's not going to be sex.
I'm curious how he found the tent. Did the girl tell him or did the guy that drove the cart tell him? That makes a big difference.
Providing an outlet and a voice for music lovers to unite under the common theme of music for all. Join The Pondo Army to show your allegiance to musical freedom! Fighting for no censorship of the arts & music education in schools, The Pondo Army will triumph! The Pondo Army Movement
Follow me on twitter@Pondoknowsbest
She obviously told him. She had a few beers and some mmj. She was tired but she was not black-out drunk from how i read the story. I bet the convo on the hill went something like this Girl -"Thanks for the good time, i'm beat now think i'm going to go back to camp" Guy - "well i have this awesome Roll like a rockstar perk. they will just come pick us up and we can take you to your camp real quick" Girl - "Yeah that'd be great my camp is right over here."
She gets dropped off while guy chickens out on what he wanted to ask her.
So Guy leaves and is like damn i'm bored and buzzed now and I should of flipping asked her to keep partying or at least her number damnit!. Maybe she wants to party some more.
This is where me and guy disagree.
If guy wanted to try his luck Guy SHOULD have went back to the tent without even going into the camp area let alone the tent and yell "Hey Girl's name, Im kinda bored. You want to rally and have some more beers and have a dance party? It is ffking Roo afterall!!" If girl doesn't respond or says no mosey on. If girl says "Frick yeah!" start your dance party.
But in reality guy comes back and is like, "Damn i'm all creepy and getting in this tent and shiz of some girl I just met and my shoes are off and im creepin all over the place."
Moral of the story. Guys we need more dance parties and less creepin.
Last Edit: Jul 2, 2013 10:43:47 GMT -5 by Deleted - Back to Top
Post by FuzzyWarbles on Jul 2, 2013 10:44:15 GMT -5
The way I read it the guy took the girl backstage then to the VIP Hill and then back to her tent. Though in her story she does say he got another staff member to drive her to the tent.
Post by lukescrazyarms on Jul 2, 2013 11:21:31 GMT -5
I don't let people in my tent with shoes on, so maybe he was just being considerate? The whole deal of taking his shoes off just to check on her doesn't make sense though. Unless he was wearing flip flops because then he could have just kicked them off to not walk around someones tent with mud and shit on his feet. Idk just a thought
Post by FuzzyWarbles on Jul 2, 2013 11:26:23 GMT -5
The thing is, this backstage tour probably began right after the OP entered the pit since the last time he saw his friend was when she was smoking and talking to the staff member in the red shirt.
Yeah I will say, guy with backstage access who has girl who wants to go tour it with him and then girl wants to go watch Paul with him and they watch that amazing set at Bonnaroo together and he didn't end up in the tent invited means he probably failed left and right.
Last Edit: Jul 2, 2013 11:46:51 GMT -5 by Deleted - Back to Top
I don't think that having her backstage means that she owed him anything or that he "put in his time." I don't care if the staff member introduced her to McCartney himself, no one is "owed" sex. Period. That's rape culture right there.
And if the girl was so out of it that she a) wasn't concerned about the dude being in her tent when her friend asked about it (or was saying she didn't know what was going on) and b) kept talking about wanting to sleep, then she was pretty darn out of it, not just "buzzed." When I'm to that point, I'm not myself anymore and I'm certainly not making rational decisions.
So either the staff member was invited back to the camp and knowingly went despite the girl being messed up, or he got the camp info from the other staff member and knowingly went despite the girl being messed up, or he went to check on her because she was so messed up and just got caught at a weird moment. I hope it's the third option, I really do.
Post by crazykittensmile on Jul 2, 2013 12:21:30 GMT -5
Call me old fashioned, but I get uncomfortable at the mention or possibility of overly intoxicated sex between strangers. I'm sure it happens all the time, but blurring the consent lines doesn't seem wise for anyone involved.
Clearly the OP sensed something was "off" about the situation and was concerned for his friend.
It could've been an innocent situation with no bad intentions, but it could've just as easily not been.
Call me old fashioned, but I get uncomfortable at the mention or possibility of overly intoxicated sex between strangers. I'm sure it happens all the time, but blurring the consent lines doesn't seem wise for anyone involved.
Clearly the OP sensed something was "off" about the situation and was concerned for his friend.
It could've been an innocent situation with no bad intentions, but it could've just as easily not been.
I feel the same way. It's not "no means no" anymore, it's "yes means yes." If you don't get a yes, don't do it. I'm just glad I'm married and I don't have to worry about all that stuff anymore. I mean, if I'm at a party by myself, I am careful, but if I'm with my hubby, I can pretty much guarantee there is someone looking out for me.
Hopefully, as a staff member, the dude was like, "Gosh, that chick was messed up. I should probably go check on her so she doesn't choke on her own puke or something," and went into the tent when she didn't give a coherent response. I'd like to think that all the people working at Roo have our best interests at heart and can be trusted to take care of us, even when we aren't ourselves.
I don't think that having her backstage means that she owed him anything or that he "put in his time." I don't care if the staff member introduced her to McCartney himself, no one is "owed" sex. Period. That's rape culture right there.
And if the girl was so out of it that she a) wasn't concerned about the dude being in her tent when her friend asked about it (or was saying she didn't know what was going on) and b) kept talking about wanting to sleep, then she was pretty darn out of it, not just "buzzed." When I'm to that point, I'm not myself anymore and I'm certainly not making rational decisions.
So either the staff member was invited back to the camp and knowingly went despite the girl being messed up, or he got the camp info from the other staff member and knowingly went despite the girl being messed up, or he went to check on her because she was so messed up and just got caught at a weird moment. I hope it's the third option, I really do.
My comment wasn't owed in a real sense nor do I think the other one was.. It was just said in fun pointing out to the obvious situation here. That situation is if ever there is a random Roo hookup in the making, this scenario is generally how they would go down. Humans have sex. Humans have sex more frequently when libations, Paul McCartney and two single people are involved. These are just facts.
You met your husband somehow. People propose at Roo multiple times a year because people have found their life long partners at Roo. Those stories probably resemble this. We all agree the dude in the tent is creepy. But up until that point seems super standard to me and I don't see how it isn't.
And I don't think a girl at Roo having "a couple of beers and some mmj" is about to die in her tent. I highly doubt her brain is shutting off due to alcohol intake at this point either. The reason blackouts happen is your brain is shutting down to life support. If the staff member was thinking that he probably should go check on all 90,000 tents. And stop at mine twice... Thanks
Last Edit: Jul 2, 2013 12:51:19 GMT -5 by Deleted - Back to Top
Guy looses his friend for several hours. Guy get's worried, assumes rape. Turns out everything is fine.
IMO, your friend not telling you the full story of what happened is the only reason you think something weird was going on.
and i agree with this 110%...
When I was younger we'd annually do a group of 15-20 of us to some destination. Inevitably one to three of the single girls would find some hunks they wanted to drool all over. THe males in our group naturally and instinctively protective always were on high guard and watching our female friends like hawks. If I stumbled back to camp and found this I'd been like "WTF dude too" Even if they were consensually having sex and she was wide awake. It is how the world spins. It is built into the backwire of our brains. At least all of my guy friends' brains and most of the animal kingdom as well.
If you think Guy's are the only ones who want to have random dirty sex well... That is just insane.
Last Edit: Jul 2, 2013 12:48:16 GMT -5 by Deleted - Back to Top
Call me old fashioned sensible, but I get uncomfortable at the mention or possibility of overly intoxicated sex between strangers. I'm sure it happens all the time, but blurring the consent lines doesn't seem wise for anyone involved.
Call me old fashioned, but I get uncomfortable at the mention or possibility of overly intoxicated sex between strangers. I'm sure it happens all the time, but blurring the consent lines doesn't seem wise for anyone involved.
Clearly the OP sensed something was "off" about the situation and was concerned for his friend.
It could've been an innocent situation with no bad intentions, but it could've just as easily not been.
So people out there have never once in their life had a magical drunken hookup night before? Never hooked up after a party, a concert, on some wild trip etc..?? Not even as a rebound after a long relationship? This is starting to just derail this thread but that is wow. Quite freeing. And I can count the amount of people I've had sex with on my fingers...
And take me as sensible, but it is pretty damn obvious when a girl has had a few beers or when a girl is unconscious, about to puke, passed out, spun out on something you don't want to know about and/or saying no.
Last Edit: Jul 2, 2013 13:23:05 GMT -5 by Deleted - Back to Top
Im shocked at how many people (one in particular) on here are making light of this situation. These things happen far too often and easily. The fact of the matter is, nobody on here knows what happened or what could have happened. We should all be so lucky to have friends like the OP.
Post by wannaberoo'ing on Jul 2, 2013 13:30:26 GMT -5
I think we're talking about the difference between being obviously able to make the decision on your own, even if you are a bit buzzed/drunk, and being so very drunk you cannot really determine at that moment if you are ok with something or not.
The OP's story sorta leaves that open to interpretation but I lean toward the girl in the story not being in the right mind at the time to truly consent to sex. I'm not saying anything about the staff worker or whoever the guy was- I don't know- the story is ambiguous to me.
Im shocked at how many people (one in particular) on here are making light of this situation. These things happen far too often and easily. The fact of the matter is, nobody on here knows what happened or what could have happened. We should all be so lucky to have friends like the OP.
You can just say my name.
No one does know. But clearly it is guilty until proven innocent here. Obviously I'm not saying a guy going into a tent to rape an unconscious women is remotely ok. Im saying no one in here as a ffking clue and to assume a guy is just going to rape her sure is jumping to conclusions.
If guy wanted to try his luck Guy SHOULD have went back to the tent without even going into the camp area let alone the tent and yell "Hey Girl's name, Im kinda bored. You want to rally and have some more beers and have a dance party? It is ffking Roo afterall!!" If girl doesn't respond or says no mosey on. If girl says "Frick yeah!" start your dance party.
Last Edit: Jul 2, 2013 13:55:44 GMT -5 by Deleted - Back to Top
