Whether it's your first Bonnaroo or you’re a music festival veteran, we welcome you to Inforoo.
Here you'll find info about artists, rumors, camping tips, and the infamous Roo Clues. Have a look around then create an account and join in the fun. See you at Bonnaroo!!
I hate to tell you this but covid isn’t what’s stopping you from getting laid. I’m almost 40 and all my single friends who want to actively date, absolutely are. I am not exaggerating when I say they are having sex with like 3 different people in one week sometimes.
My issue isn't not getting laid, I don't get how you get that from my post. It's with not being able to get proper social development due to isolation. Hard to even make friends when you can't go out and meet people. I graduated college and a few months later Covid was here, so I didn't get a chance to make proper adult friends, other than coworkers. The majority of ways I make friends are through concerts, pickup sports, and meeting friends of friends at large gatherings, all of which aren't really happening rn.
I hate to tell you this but covid isn’t what’s stopping you from getting laid. I’m almost 40 and all my single friends who want to actively date, absolutely are. I am not exaggerating when I say they are having sex with like 3 different people in one week sometimes.
Exactly. Are there any states or major cities with any sort of restrictions right now on restaurants, bars, etc? If you really want you can go wild and it's been like that for a while now.
I live in Denver which is a very liberal city and you can basically do anything here. Was recently in Hawaii and NYC and the only real restrictions were showing a vax card and wearing a mask inside places.
Adequate mental health care was already a huge issue pre-pandemic. It's a problem a lot of the powers that be want to throw a metaphorical bone, but realistically don't really do much about.
There's a fine line in feeling isolated and being isolated. It took me a long time to come to grips with the pure terror of having extremely bad covid living by myself which included a hospital trip during the initial lockdown. While I have a good support system having such an experience where I was thinking about how I would kill myself if that pain wouldn't go away was very depressing for a long time, even though there were many others who went through the same and came out worse. Getting to a certain point of social interaction to for that feeling to fade is all we can ask for.
Most people are feeling some level of isolation and the geographical and social differences on this thread seems to make that impossible to communicate sometimes.
I hate to tell you this but covid isn’t what’s stopping you from getting laid. I’m almost 40 and all my single friends who want to actively date, absolutely are. I am not exaggerating when I say they are having sex with like 3 different people in one week sometimes.
My issue isn't not getting laid, I don't get how you get that from my post. It's with not being able to get proper social development due to isolation. Hard to even make friends when you can't go out and meet people. I graduated college and a few months later Covid was here, so I didn't get a chance to make proper adult friends, other than coworkers. The majority of ways I make friends are through concerts, pickup sports, and meeting friends of friends at large gatherings, all of which aren't really happening rn.
Literally all of these things are happening right now. Choosing to not participate in them is not the same thing as them not happening.
I hate to tell you this but covid isn’t what’s stopping you from getting laid. I’m almost 40 and all my single friends who want to actively date, absolutely are. I am not exaggerating when I say they are having sex with like 3 different people in one week sometimes.
Exactly. Are there any states or major cities with any sort of restrictions right now on restaurants, bars, etc? If you really want you can go wild and it's been like that for a while now.
It just feels like specifically with kids wearing masks in school that it's a litmus test. If vaccinated members of the least at risk group have to wear masks all day while learning, then logically adults who are much more at risk shouldn't be going to bars, restaurants, concerts, sports game, parties, etc... It feels like my main issue is just not understanding what is and isn't ok to do due to weird risk stratification. I'm failing to understand where the line is being drawn on what's socially acceptable and what isn't.
My issue isn't not getting laid, I don't get how you get that from my post. It's with not being able to get proper social development due to isolation. Hard to even make friends when you can't go out and meet people. I graduated college and a few months later Covid was here, so I didn't get a chance to make proper adult friends, other than coworkers. The majority of ways I make friends are through concerts, pickup sports, and meeting friends of friends at large gatherings, all of which aren't really happening rn.
Literally all of these things are happening right now. Choosing to not participate in them is not the same thing as them not happening.
I explained what I meant my this better in my last post. What I'm saying is that I don't understand where the line for what is and isn't acceptable (socially/morally/ethically) to do is being drawn. If vaxxed kids (the lowest risk group) have to wear masks all day at school, then how is it ok for statistically more at risk adults to be doing maskless activities like playing basketball, eating together, etc...?
The political aspect of masking has been a horse that's already left the barn. A huge percentage of people choose to see it as a tell-tale sign of what "team" you're on.
If I leave the bubble of Huntsville, I might as well be screaming that Alabama Football is going to have a losing season based on the looks I get wearing a mask in public places.
Because living a life of isolation is extremely depressing and unfulfilling and people want something better for themselves? Not getting to make friends, date, travel, go to shows, play sports, etc for the majority of 23 months isn't how I want to live my life, so it's fair to ask when I won't have to live like that again. Life eventually returned to normal after the 1917 influenza pandemic, and it likely will after Covid. Pre-delta, and then post-delta but pre-Omicron, hospitalizations were extremely low. Even now, hospitalizations of the vaxxed remain extremely low. It's seems logical to think that once Omicron starts to fade, that living life like it's normal again is possible, at least in the absence of another variant. The risk to a vaxxed person is incredibly low, the primary issue right now is hospital capacity being low due to selfish antivaxxers getting sick to Omicron. Once there isn't a surging variant causing that problem, allowing people at least the option to return to nromal seems fair, a reasonable light at the end of the tunnel, one that's only taken away again when there's cause (such as a variant like Omicron causing a surge). I could see restrictions coming and going with surges, but they just aren't necessary in times where it isn't surging, and surges get less and less likely with every person who gets vaccinated and/or catches it. Variants can also slowly become weaker, as Omicron is, as happened to the Spanish Influenza. I don't think it's a unrealistic at all to suggest life will go back to normal once the pandemic phase is over... that's what happened in every other airborne pandemic in history.
I think most people agree with a lot of your argument but you are acting like everyone is arguing for strict lockdowns when most people are just saying we should be a little cautious and wear masks when appropriate. No one is making you isolate. There are no lockdowns. You are making the decision to do so to protect your vulnerable loved ones which I find commendable. Don't you think we should take practical precautions to help protect other people's vulnerable loved ones as well?
Yes, but I also feel very empathetic to the majority of people who don't have vulnerable loved ones and are having to sacrifice things for a virus they are at very little risk for. I feel like taking it on a case by case basis and helping the people who need to take stronger precautions to isolate, while simultaneously allowing for those who don't to be able to have normal healthy lives, to be a better way to approach it than sweeping mitigations than have some negative consequences.
It's also that the idea of having a "normal" life to go back to when I feel like my household risk level is lower (I'm hoping to convince my father to get the vax one day or figure out a way to live w/ them and pay them rent money they need w/o having to come in regular contact w/ them) is what's keeping me going through these trying times. And I feel like at times people are just glossing over what phenomenal protection vaccines provide and how they are a ticket to normalcy for at least 97% of the population who don't have an underlying condition that would leave them still at risk.
Literally all of these things are happening right now. Choosing to not participate in them is not the same thing as them not happening.
I explained what I meant my this better in my last post. What I'm saying is that I don't understand where the line for what is and isn't acceptable (socially/morally/ethically) to do is being drawn. If vaxxed kids (the lowest risk group) have to wear masks all day at school, then how is it ok for statistically more at risk adults to be doing maskless activities like playing basketball, eating together, etc...?
i don’t mean this to be rude but as someone who lives in northern Virginia, does it really feel like people are acting like playing pick up bball or going to shows are unethical acts in Central VA?
I think most people agree with a lot of your argument but you are acting like everyone is arguing for strict lockdowns when most people are just saying we should be a little cautious and wear masks when appropriate. No one is making you isolate. There are no lockdowns. You are making the decision to do so to protect your vulnerable loved ones which I find commendable. Don't you think we should take practical precautions to help protect other people's vulnerable loved ones as well?
Yes, but I also feel very empathetic to the majority of people who don't have vulnerable loved ones and are having to sacrifice things for a virus they are at very little risk for. I feel like taking it on a case by case basis and helping the people who need to take stronger precautions to isolate, while simultaneously allowing for those who don't to be able to have normal healthy lives, to be a better way to approach it than sweeping mitigations than have some negative consequences.
It's also that the idea of having a "normal" life to go back to when I feel like my household risk level is lower (I'm hoping to convince my father to get the vax one day or figure out a way to live w/ them and pay them rent money they need w/o having to come in regular contact w/ them) is what's keeping me going through these trying times. And I feel like at times people are just glossing over what phenomenal protection vaccines provide and how they are a ticket to normalcy for at least 97% of the population who don't have an underlying condition that would leave them still at risk.
is your dilemma that you live with elderly loved ones who refuse to get vaccinated? If things went fully back to normal without mask mandates, etc would that not be worse for you?
I think most people agree with a lot of your argument but you are acting like everyone is arguing for strict lockdowns when most people are just saying we should be a little cautious and wear masks when appropriate. No one is making you isolate. There are no lockdowns. You are making the decision to do so to protect your vulnerable loved ones which I find commendable. Don't you think we should take practical precautions to help protect other people's vulnerable loved ones as well?
Yes, but I also feel very empathetic to the majority of people who don't have vulnerable loved ones and are having to sacrifice things for a virus they are at very little risk for. I feel like taking it on a case by case basis and helping the people who need to take stronger precautions to isolate, while simultaneously allowing for those who don't to be able to have normal healthy lives, to be a better way to approach it than sweeping mitigations than have some negative consequences.
It's also that the idea of having a "normal" life to go back to when I feel like my household risk level is lower (I'm hoping to convince my father to get the vax one day or figure out a way to live w/ them and pay them rent money they need w/o having to come in regular contact w/ them) is what's keeping me going through these trying times. And I feel like at times people are just glossing over what phenomenal protection vaccines provide and how they are a ticket to normalcy for at least 97% of the population who don't have an underlying condition that would leave them still at risk.
But that’s what has been said several times now. The majority of people who don’t have vulnerabilities are currently able to consider for themselves what risks they are willing to take, and the opportunities are there for those people to go out and live their lives if they want to do things. Maybe not 100% exactly like before, but remarkably close. Many people who locked down hardcore in the beginning have loosened up what they are doing now because they can, largely due to vaccines, which I’m pretty sure most of us here are very grateful for and not discounting at all.
Regardless of what the policy is for masks in schools, what’s right and wrong to do as far as precautions isn’t really dictated by what politicians and school board members say. It’s dictated by the virus, how much it is spreading, and how bad the current variant is.
Yes, but I also feel very empathetic to the majority of people who don't have vulnerable loved ones and are having to sacrifice things for a virus they are at very little risk for. I feel like taking it on a case by case basis and helping the people who need to take stronger precautions to isolate, while simultaneously allowing for those who don't to be able to have normal healthy lives, to be a better way to approach it than sweeping mitigations than have some negative consequences.
It's also that the idea of having a "normal" life to go back to when I feel like my household risk level is lower (I'm hoping to convince my father to get the vax one day or figure out a way to live w/ them and pay them rent money they need w/o having to come in regular contact w/ them) is what's keeping me going through these trying times. And I feel like at times people are just glossing over what phenomenal protection vaccines provide and how they are a ticket to normalcy for at least 97% of the population who don't have an underlying condition that would leave them still at risk.
is your dilemma that you live with elderly loved ones who refuse to get vaccinated? If things went fully back to normal without mask mandates, etc would that not be worse for you?
It's not all about me. You can advocate for what you think is right even if it hurts you. I also feel like a more unified message of vaccines = ticket to normalcy, and more public health explanation about how breakthrough cases don't mean the vaccine isn't working, would help me convince my dad to get vaxxed.
xfinitypass if you haven't yet and are able to, talking to a therapist might be helpful for you to navigate everything you're thinking about
I second this.
On the subject of mental health and the pandemic, let me tell you something I don't like to talk about ever...I had a mental breakdown in March 2020. My adult son got covid in my house when his girlfriend literally got sick while staying here. I lost my mind. I freaked out, I thought I was going to die and I went into a bad, bad place. I was like that for months. It took my husband and son to tell me to literally do something and them forcing me to get out of bed and to eat. I lost 10lbs without knowing and I had to start online counseling. I also turned to doing something to helped alleviate (in my mind) the issue and that was making masks and selling them.
I also turned to yoga along with therapy to help get healthy again. It took me MONTHS to even think about doing craft shows or going inside a grocery store (which I still rarely do). So I get the mental aspects. You can't say you want things normal for mental reasons, you have to make yourself mentally healthy regardless of the situation life throws at you. That is just my tidbit, experience and insight.
is your dilemma that you live with elderly loved ones who refuse to get vaccinated? If things went fully back to normal without mask mandates, etc would that not be worse for you?
It's not all about me. You can advocate for what you think is right even if it hurts you. I also feel like a more unified message of vaccines = ticket to normalcy, and more public health explanation about how breakthrough cases don't mean the vaccine isn't working, would help me convince my dad to get vaxxed.
NYC DOH has spent shit tons of money on getting people to get vaccinated. and we still have 1/4 of the population unvaccinated.
It's not all about me. You can advocate for what you think is right even if it hurts you. I also feel like a more unified message of vaccines = ticket to normalcy, and more public health explanation about how breakthrough cases don't mean the vaccine isn't working, would help me convince my dad to get vaxxed.
NYC DOH has spent shit tons of money on getting people to get vaccinated. and we still have 1/4 of the population unvaccinated.
It's really not that simple.
Not to mention the fact that the whole vaccine=ticket to normalcy has been a huge part of the vaccination push.
xfinitypass if you haven't yet and are able to, talking to a therapist might be helpful for you to navigate everything you're thinking about
I second this.
On the subject of mental health and the pandemic, let me tell you something I don't like to talk about ever...I had a mental breakdown in March 2020. My adult son got covid in my house when his girlfriend literally got sick while staying here. I lost my mind. I freaked out, I thought I was going to die and I went into a bad, bad place. I was like that for months. It took my husband and son to tell me to literally do something and them forcing me to get out of bed and to eat. I lost 10lbs without knowing and I had to start online counseling. I also turned to doing something to helped alleviate (in my mind) the issue and that was making masks and selling them.
I also turned to yoga along with therapy to help get healthy again. It took me MONTHS to even think about doing craft shows or going inside a grocery store (which I still rarely do). So I get the mental aspects. You can't say you want things normal for mental reasons, you have to make yourself mentally healthy regardless of the situation life throws at you. That is just my tidbit, experience and insight.
That's fair, I appreciate the insights. I feel like I was making progress on myself from March-September of 2020, but ever since then I'll make a week of progress on weight loss/productivity/mental health, then fall back into negative patterns again. It's been especially hard ever sense May 2021 when I realized two of my family members won't be getting the vaccine, and with not being able to move away (they need my help w/ money, not the other way around), I just feel kinda trapped here. I feel like logically it's safe for me personally to be resuming the hobbies I miss again, but the added risk on my dad and brother (and mother who is vaxxed, but just generally sickly), makes it very difficult to decide if it's ok or not to do those things again. I just cancelled a big trip with some internet friends (which is what got me wanting to talk Covid online again, which I had largely avoiding all year so far), so I'm at a bit of a low point w/ it. I'm tired of giving up concerts, friendships, professional opportunities, etc just to stay away from people, but I kinda have to for others safety sake. As summer encroaches, I just want some sort of resolution to be in sight, if I have to give up the Primavera trip I planned by saving all that money from skipping shows for most of two years, it'll devastate me. Just feels lie a no-win situation that I'm trapped in.
On the subject of mental health and the pandemic, let me tell you something I don't like to talk about ever...I had a mental breakdown in March 2020. My adult son got covid in my house when his girlfriend literally got sick while staying here. I lost my mind. I freaked out, I thought I was going to die and I went into a bad, bad place. I was like that for months. It took my husband and son to tell me to literally do something and them forcing me to get out of bed and to eat. I lost 10lbs without knowing and I had to start online counseling. I also turned to doing something to helped alleviate (in my mind) the issue and that was making masks and selling them.
I also turned to yoga along with therapy to help get healthy again. It took me MONTHS to even think about doing craft shows or going inside a grocery store (which I still rarely do). So I get the mental aspects. You can't say you want things normal for mental reasons, you have to make yourself mentally healthy regardless of the situation life throws at you. That is just my tidbit, experience and insight.
That's fair, I appreciate the insights. I feel like I was making progress on myself from March-September of 2020, but ever since then I'll make a week of progress on weight loss/productivity/mental health, then fall back into negative patterns again. It's been especially hard ever sense May 2021 when I realized two of my family members won't be getting the vaccine, and with not being able to move away (they need my help w/ money, not the other way around), I just feel kinda trapped here. I feel like logically it's safe for me personally to be resuming the hobbies I miss again, but the added risk on my dad and brother (and mother who is vaxxed, but just generally sickly), makes it very difficult to decide if it's ok or not to do those things again. I just cancelled a big trip with some internet friends (which is what got me wanting to talk Covid online again, which I had largely avoiding all year so far), so I'm at a bit of a low point w/ it. I'm tired of giving up concerts, friendships, professional opportunities, etc just to stay away from people, but I kinda have to for others safety sake. As summer encroaches, I just want some sort of resolution to be in sight, if I have to give up the Primavera trip I planned by saving all that money from skipping shows for most of two years, it'll devastate me. Just feels lie a no-win situation that I'm trapped in.
Feeling that way is completely understandable. Unfortunately you have bad actors that have underlying conditions that rely on you and that puts you in a tough place. I do feel for your situation and I get that you want to keep your family safe, but at some point you need to do stuff to make you mentally good also. You can't be expected to give up your life for those that are choosing to not protect themselves (ie not get vaxxed).
You can still live life and mitigate life to keep your loved ones safe. I don't go to restaurants, but I will takeout and eat at home or outside with friends. Outside is a much safer environment. I do realize that you are up north and it is much colder than here, but that won't last for forever. Masking is the most efficient way to protect your loved ones and all you can do is make sure you are doing things while masked and with others that are as well.
Also, I highly recommend yoga. You can do it in your house, in a small space and it really helps physically and mentally. It was a life changer for me and really helped me put shit into perspective.
On the subject of mental health and the pandemic, let me tell you something I don't like to talk about ever...I had a mental breakdown in March 2020. My adult son got covid in my house when his girlfriend literally got sick while staying here. I lost my mind. I freaked out, I thought I was going to die and I went into a bad, bad place. I was like that for months. It took my husband and son to tell me to literally do something and them forcing me to get out of bed and to eat. I lost 10lbs without knowing and I had to start online counseling. I also turned to doing something to helped alleviate (in my mind) the issue and that was making masks and selling them.
I also turned to yoga along with therapy to help get healthy again. It took me MONTHS to even think about doing craft shows or going inside a grocery store (which I still rarely do). So I get the mental aspects. You can't say you want things normal for mental reasons, you have to make yourself mentally healthy regardless of the situation life throws at you. That is just my tidbit, experience and insight.
That's fair, I appreciate the insights. I feel like I was making progress on myself from March-September of 2020, but ever since then I'll make a week of progress on weight loss/productivity/mental health, then fall back into negative patterns again. It's been especially hard ever sense May 2021 when I realized two of my family members won't be getting the vaccine, and with not being able to move away (they need my help w/ money, not the other way around), I just feel kinda trapped here. I feel like logically it's safe for me personally to be resuming the hobbies I miss again, but the added risk on my dad and brother (and mother who is vaxxed, but just generally sickly), makes it very difficult to decide if it's ok or not to do those things again. I just cancelled a big trip with some internet friends (which is what got me wanting to talk Covid online again, which I had largely avoiding all year so far), so I'm at a bit of a low point w/ it. I'm tired of giving up concerts, friendships, professional opportunities, etc just to stay away from people, but I kinda have to for others safety sake. As summer encroaches, I just want some sort of resolution to be in sight, if I have to give up the Primavera trip I planned by saving all that money from skipping shows for most of two years, it'll devastate me. Just feels lie a no-win situation that I'm trapped in.
It’s no wonder you feel the way you do. You’re dealing with A LOT. it’s totally understandable to feel trapped and somewhat desperate given your circumstances.
Please, please consider seeking help. As Vieux so elegantly pointed out, if you put all your emotional eggs in a basket of circumstances that are completely beyond your control, you’re setting yourself up to never get better. Being level is work, especially when one is dealing with trauma (as we all are in this mess) but it can be done, and having help getting there from someone who knows what they’re doing can make a big difference.
I think they are a bit better. I gave thejeremy a gummy last night along with 16oz of water and tylenol and he slept all night. His body isn't on fire anymore, just hurts now. I made him some food and forced him to eat and I am making him drink 16oz of water every 2-3 hours. I also gave him 2 gummies today so far. It keeps him in bed and helps him sleep. My drip is back and my throat hurts again, so that kind of sucks, but I am way better today than yesterday. Yesterday was the worst and I can't believe that they did nothing for us still, well except verify it isn't his MS acting up, it is indeed just the covid.
My bestie is making a small grocery run for us today to get us some juice, gatorade and snacks.
Work got pushed another week, but I am still "working" from home and getting paid, which is very important right now. Being quarantined for real sucks and I haven't been able to do yoga for three days this week, so I feel mentally off but otherwise, I am hoping that we are on the mend.
If I were sharing my thoughts a year ago, I'd have been a lot more cynical about it. I'd had a really bad experience with a lot of therapists, going all the way back to being entirely misdiagnosed with terrible medication when I was in middle school. I'd also seen some truly terrible ones in the last decade, it was clear they just didn't care to give me headspace and were just sitting through another hour for the paycheck.
But I took advantage of my contractor's EAP program after mom passed away back in December, and the lady I got connected with this time actually and finally works for me. She's been doing this for decades and has a more upfront and factual approach to things as opposed to the flavor of the moment methods that most modern therapists found on Twitter threads as opposed to researched scientific journals. Not to say that a modern or trendy approach isn't right for some people, it just didn't work for me personally.
Finally some stuff started to click for me. A lot of my issues had to do with relating with others, and she was able to help me better understand how they might think through scenarios as opposed to feeling like I had to completely adapt my approach. Much of it's way too long to really extrapolate here, but the summary is it helped me better understand the situation at large and not let myself stress so much.
what if i don't like sharing my feelings. i'm not some wimp. i like cars and hamburgers, masculine things. i'm fine.
I know you aren't like that for real, but if you were then you DEFINITELY need therapy.
On the real therapy is great and I agree with JTK that everyone should do therapy. Just like we go to a medical doctor regularly we should do the same with a therapist.
Also a big fan of group therapy.
I also think everyone should receive a 75 minute full body massage every month but that's a whole nother thing I guess.
I know you aren't like that for real, but if you were then you DEFINITELY need therapy.
On the real therapy is great and I agree with JTK that everyone should do therapy. Just like we go to a medical doctor regularly we should do the same with a therapist.
Also a big fan of group therapy.
I also think everyone should receive a 75 minute full body massage every month but that's a whole nother thing I guess.
