The Comment Section: Lineup Hot Takes

These people talk like supre

The other day I got recommended an Instagram video of Dead & Co. at the Sphere. In the video, the giant screen displays the back half of an extended arena with skeletons filling the imaginary seats, as so:




The accompanying video, which was about 10 seconds long, featured a brief snippet of guitar noodling. I have no idea what song it was during. One thing I've come to notice from foolishly clicking on Instagram video comment sections a lot is that in comment sections haters tend to attract haters and this comment section was 90% haters. I have to assume maybe half those people were Tool fans since two of the top rated comments were about how Tool needs to play the Sphere, unlike these assholes. (an aside: while I hate Tool, I do think they would be a good Sphere band.) Anyway, here's a list of hateful comments about Dead & Co. at the Sphere. If it helps, imagine reading these in the voice of a Tool fan:

"That music is just plain horrible"

"Looks pretty lame. Like a show for idiots who didn't watch cartoons as kids."

"They even have everyone dancing to their own tune as if there's no actual live music playing. Well done!"

"Imagine watching  experiencing gladiators fight at the Roman coliseum  That would be cool simulation"

"I liked U2, but good God the grateful Dead just sounds like generic rock hold music that you'd hear calling a plumbing company. It's just an excuse for friends who are addicted to drugs to hang out."

"When the dead suck so bad they have to create fans enjoying themselves."

"So when does cannibal corpse play there and the imagery that goes with that? lmao"

"Sounds like when I'm just picking around on my guitar not really caring 😂"

"Tippers performance would be the best use of this space"

"Mannnn save this music for a bonfire somewhere   Let's get ACDC here"

"This is the music they play in restaurants in the background and there's a family of 5 seated in the booth behind you. The podium is empty as a hostess tries to make it to the front and there is pleather seating near the entrance. It's getting full because it's 6PM on a Sunday in the summer. There's random shi on the walls and there's am empty bar with tvs above it running football, cnn, fox, and some random sport like tennis or golf." (I remain fascinated by people who write fanfiction like this about deeply personal experiences they've had. I cannot remember ever hearing the grateful dead playing at a restaurant. anyway, this comment had no likes, which I think is kind of a shame.)

it's not all that wrong though lol

"Mannnn save this music for a bonfire somewhere Let's get ACDC here"


Imagine them doing Whole Lotta Rosie in the Sphere

Fortunately M.I.A. Isnt an American citizen.

I’ve noticed a lot lately that people on Boiler Room comment sections are really fucking mad all the time now. I was going to do a compilation of people being mad at Boiler Room, but it appears the most crucial arbiter of good taste in the world has already spoken:

I mean people in the comment section of anything are going to be mad, people enjoy being mad and complaining. 

Funny thing is John Summit playing Boiler Room would be much closer to officially killing it than Rebecca Black. 

Duh. On both parts. You never hear anyone gloat in the comments section cause theyll get piled on

Looking forward to mass amount of confused comments when they see the Coachella lineup and have no fucking clue who Fred again.. is.

You know this one is fake because there’s no one in the world who attended both Hangout and therapy.

i actually reached out to MW about tickets, it's crazy, he is ready to play the show but needs me to send him some amazon gift cards so he can get across the border. also he is in love with me and we are going to get married on the beach at the show.

absolutely! good news is MW apparently also has learned how to get rich trading crypto with this cool app. he showed me his bank balance it is really high! he's going to show me how it works. i won't have to post on this board anymore, sayonara suckers!! i'm gunna be rich and married to a country guy.

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