The 'Whine About Relationships' Thread

Lol, I went to St. Paul by myself last week too and totally flirted with a member of the band. It was a very nice time. But agree, concerts alone aren't too bad at all because once the show starts (totally typo'd "shart" there first, it made me lol.) there it really doesn't matter if you're with someone or not. Waiting for the show can be a little awkward, but once I get a few beers in me I'm pretty social so even then it's not too bad.

Jaz, I'm doing Forecastle alone for sure, then maybe 1 or 2 smaller fests alone too. Forecastle isn't a camp out, but the other two are... would you still do a small camp out fest alone or do you think going alone is better suited for larger fests like roo?

That's what I was thinking too. Not that I won't be able to chat up people around me, but there will be less of the "getting lost in the crowd" aspect to a smaller fest. The two I'm considering only have a couple thousand attendees and is a much more intimate environment that I feel requires a companion. I will have to think about it a bit before I make my decision. Thanks for the advice buddy!!!!

Let me get real for a moment here haha.

I was just down in Texas for some work crap and met up with a girl I've known for like nine years via each other's writing. We used to talk on the phone and write letters but had never met. Years back there was a mutual romantic interest that never went anywhere because of distance and then me dating someone. For quite a while now its mostly been a check in a few times a year kind of thing. Saturday we went out for some drinks then sat around chatting about our lives and back in the day type of shit. I think we both had fun and it wasn't awkward but at the same time it wasn't spectacular either. I wasn't expecting anything to happen and nothing did. That was totally fine and it was still cool to hang out with an old friend who once knew me so well.

The next day I was driving for many hours and kept thinking about her and wondering all of those what ifs. Not so much just about her but romantic opportunities in general. I'm 28 now so the chances to meet new and interesting girls seem fewer and farther between. While driving I kept trying to decide if the visit made me like her again as I felt something akin to butterflies. I realized it was more about romanticizing the past than anything that exists now. It's probably kind of pathetic but Texas girl has always been someone I've thought of as being in my back pocket -- if we both got old enough and stayed single it'd maybe happen one day. I know it's a self-centered way to think. I've had that mentality with a few people and know it's unrealistic yet still used to take slivers of comfort from it. In the past few years I've had to let a lot of that go. Now there's no one left as she was the last person from those I drew this false comfort from. Meeting her caused me to close that book and that's probably a good thing.

A couple nights later I was passing through Colorado and banged some old lady born in 1947. Half the time I just do stuff like that because it's a goofy experience that's hard to pass up. I think of those things as more a story than anything I actually desire. That's fine with me but at the same time I find myself less and less pursuing the things I actually care about. I need a better balance between the two. There's no emotional risk in banging a crippled juggalo or old lady because I know I'm just doing it to see what that rare experience is like. But I'd like to start having real experiences again too. The sex with 1947 was exceptional except her braying like a horse half the time haha. But when I got back on the road I went straight back to thinking about Texas girl or moreso what she represented about my past and who I was then. Its been tough knowing I won't recapture a time where I felt so much and longed for someone so hard. When I didn't realize how complicated relationships really are. I think the older I get the more my optimism fades. I'm all about healthy doses of delusion to get by but it's becoming harder to let myself be fooled by my own errant thinking. It makes it pretty hard to believe that any relationship I enter will actually work out. Not that they all need to but I have trouble thinking that any will.

I've been more or less single for the past three and a half years. Over this period my ex and I tried making things work many times, either in the form of friendship or even more often a relationship. It was always about rekindling what we had in the past because we'd become very different people. Towards the end I didn't even like her, I just kept trying to go with it because she used to make me so happy and excited. I've only had that feeling with one person since her and it was very brief. I liked knowing I could still feel it but at the same time have realized it's fucking rare to find. This fall I was kind of seeing someone but she wanted to be together and I didn't. We still sort of go on and off with that but I know it's going nowhere. Ever since my ex and I originally split I've had so much trouble finding the desire and energy for a relationship, even with my ex haha.

This girl from the fall was super kind and fun to be around but there wasn't much to it. We'd basically spend a week having incredible sex but then I'd get restless and go do my own thing. Even sex isn't as important to me as it once was. Usually as long as I bang it out for a week then I'm pretty good for the next few months. I don't know if it all means I'm emotionally closed off or what. It's not that I'm unhappy. I've been in a pretty good place ever since I left Minneapolis a year ago and like the things I'm up to. I actually enjoy being around people now and getting to know them which isn't something I was really about in the past. But when I think about relationships I have such a meh feeling. Lately I've become more and more used to just doing my own thing with occasional periods of sex and hanging out that I know will go nowhere. I'm sure I'll want something real again one day but that seems pretty damn far off. I've sort of set a mild goal to find a summer girlfriend that's somewhere between hookup and relationship but don't know if I'll put the energy into finding that or not. I guess I'll see what I've done and where my feelings are come the end of summer. Thanks for listening.

Glad you were able to get that off your chest.  Would it be too much trouble to ask for a condensed version, because you lost me at "let me get real for a moment"

Seriously though, how did I not see this thread sooner...there isn't enough Tide in the world to clean my dirty laundry!

My wife understands me.

Go to Colorado.

Really? I need to find a job. I'm only 22 , we have the same degree butch want to travel before moving there. I would, she's amazing. It's just a big decision moving away from my friends and fam for her. Where we both know no one.

Lol thanks for the input. Hello from death cab show inforoors

I'm considering this. Expensive though, in the Boulder area at least.

We are all full.. Sorry

I'm not moving there. Any time soon. I have things I need to do here, including make as much money as I can. I'm kind of glad she's leaving the week of Roo because it'll allow me to have a clear head afterwards. Roo has that healing power. If it's meant to be it's meant to be and we'll find a way. Thanks for being kind everyone.

Also, Death Cab was great. Not really a big fan but the girlfriend is and they blew me away, you all will love the show when you see them.

As you should be.... Have you ever done anything like roo with her before? If she's cool and down to earth you should be fine. If she's kind high maintence type then you may be in for a long weekend.

If you want her to create your children then go with her.

Same.  Is there a "Whine About Lack of Relationship" thread?  Oh yeah, that's over in the Mingle thread