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Well, we were supposed to go out again to celebrate the life of one of my best friends (RIP) at the bar we all used to hang at. At least some friends told me I can totally crash with them. I've kinda reached the point of just throwin' my hands in the air.
I'm sorry dan. that's incredibly frustrating. I would feel like my wants and interests are being disrespected if I were in your shoes - and that's not cool.
hopefully you'll figure it out. don't be afraid to follow your gut - whichever way it takes you.
Well, we were supposed to go out again to celebrate the life of one of my best friends (RIP) at the bar we all used to hang at. At least some friends told me I can totally crash with them. I've kinda reached the point of just throwin' my hands in the air.
I'm sorry dan. that's incredibly frustrating. I would feel like my wants and interests are being disrespected if I were in your shoes - and that's not cool.
hopefully you'll figure it out. don't be afraid to follow your gut - whichever way it takes you.
Well, we were supposed to go out again to celebrate the life of one of my best friends (RIP) at the bar we all used to hang at. At least some friends told me I can totally crash with them. I've kinda reached the point of just throwin' my hands in the air.
Is the problem that she doesn't like to do the same things you do or that she has a problem with you doing things without her? Either way I'm sorry and I hope you can work it out.
Well, we were supposed to go out again to celebrate the life of one of my best friends (RIP) at the bar we all used to hang at. At least some friends told me I can totally crash with them. I've kinda reached the point of just throwin' my hands in the air.
Yeah. Making you miss a show is one thing. Causing you to miss that is another level. Hope it works out for you.
Well, we were supposed to go out again to celebrate the life of one of my best friends (RIP) at the bar we all used to hang at. At least some friends told me I can totally crash with them. I've kinda reached the point of just throwin' my hands in the air.
Is the problem that she doesn't like to do the same things you do or that she has a problem with you doing things without her? Either way I'm sorry and I hope you can work it out.
Thanks fer the support, gang.
We normally enjoy similar things. And she doesn't mind me goin' out on my own, which is great fer me! But I had no right to drive home last night, which was one reason I wanted her with me. She knows I'm mad at her too, but I just couldn't even collect my thoughts before work this afternoon.
And let's be real; I'm not a saint. But just...ugh.
I originally posted this in the GRR thread, but on second thought, I think it's more appropriate here.
Today was a somewhat shitty day. My friend Will came over to help me with my poster run for street team, and I was up til 4 in the morning so I was pretty tired and not really feeling like going. Then we drive out to Philly and only get as far as hanging up six posters, when I run into my ex. It was the first time I've seen him since we broke up over a year ago. It's weird, because I've had a feeling for quite some time that one of these days I was going to run into him (he lives in Philly but I don't go there very often at all), and it turns out today was the day. Forgive the mumbo-jumbo, but it's instances like this that make me think some things were fated to happen - I saw him walking across the crosswalk while I was waiting at a red light, in a part of the city I've never been to before, on the opposite side of the city from where he lives. What are the odds? So I waved him down and pulled over to say hi, and we briefly chatted for a minute or two (it was good to see him and I'm glad that he's doing well), but it totally fucked up my day for reasons I can't explain. It didn't overwhelm me with emotion or anything like that - I've felt like I've been completely over him for a couple months now, and just a week or two ago I deleted his number from my phone - but all these small niggling emotions just coalesced to make me feel like shit. It was a little bit anxiety, a little bit of regret for letting our relationship go on for so long, a little bit of missing him, a little bit of anger...just enough "little bits" to join together in a ball of confusion in my gut. I'm not sure what this means - if it means that I'm not really over him yet (which is fine if that's the case; these things take time and I allow myself that), or if it's just a natural reaction to seeing the person who once brought me so much happiness and heartbreak for the first time in so long. Nonetheless, whether it was fate or happenstance, it happened, and here I am. I wouldn't go as far as to say that it ruined my day, but I immediately lost all interest in doing the poster run, and instead went for some retail therapy and Halal, which I didn't even eat because I had no appetite.
Later in the day he texted me, reiterating that it was good to see me and that he wants to catch up, but I haven't replied yet. I'm not sure what's best for me. If in the long run it's going to help me resolve whatever these feelings are, I don't mind doing it even if it makes me little uncomfortable. But on the other hand, even though he's a good guy and I'd like to be his friend if it were possible, I'm not sure that I'll ever be in his presence without being reminded of...everything. I have good, healthy friendships with some of my exes, I've lost contact with some, there's one that I absolutely never want to see again, but him...I just don't know. I don't know what I'm capable of and I don't know what's best for me. If I tell him I'd rather keep him in my past he'd understand, but if that's just me trying to bury unresolved emotions, then that might not be what's best in the long run. I just don't know.
I originally posted this in the GRR thread, but on second thought, I think it's more appropriate here.
Today was a somewhat shitty day. My friend Will came over to help me with my poster run for street team, and I was up til 4 in the morning so I was pretty tired and not really feeling like going. Then we drive out to Philly and only get as far as hanging up six posters, when I run into my ex. It was the first time I've seen him since we broke up over a year ago. It's weird, because I've had a feeling for quite some time that one of these days I was going to run into him (he lives in Philly but I don't go there very often at all), and it turns out today was the day. Forgive the mumbo-jumbo, but it's instances like this that make me think some things were fated to happen - I saw him walking across the crosswalk while I was waiting at a red light, in a part of the city I've never been to before, on the opposite side of the city from where he lives. What are the odds? So I waved him down and pulled over to say hi, and we briefly chatted for a minute or two (it was good to see him and I'm glad that he's doing well), but it totally fucked up my day for reasons I can't explain. It didn't overwhelm me with emotion or anything like that - I've felt like I've been completely over him for a couple months now, and just a week or two ago I deleted his number from my phone - but all these small niggling emotions just coalesced to make me feel like shit. It was a little bit anxiety, a little bit of regret for letting our relationship go on for so long, a little bit of missing him, a little bit of anger...just enough "little bits" to join together in a ball of confusion in my gut. I'm not sure what this means - if it means that I'm not really over him yet (which is fine if that's the case; these things take time and I allow myself that), or if it's just a natural reaction to seeing the person who once brought me so much happiness and heartbreak for the first time in so long. Nonetheless, whether it was fate or happenstance, it happened, and here I am. I wouldn't go as far as to say that it ruined my day, but I immediately lost all interest in doing the poster run, and instead went for some retail therapy and Halal, which I didn't even eat because I had no appetite.
Later in the day he texted me, reiterating that it was good to see me and that he wants to catch up, but I haven't replied yet. I'm not sure what's best for me. If in the long run it's going to help me resolve whatever these feelings are, I don't mind doing it even if it makes me little uncomfortable. But on the other hand, even though he's a good guy and I'd like to be his friend if it were possible, I'm not sure that I'll ever be in his presence without being reminded of...everything. I have good, healthy friendships with some of my exes, I've lost contact with some, there's one that I absolutely never want to see again, but him...I just don't know. I don't know what I'm capable of and I don't know what's best for me. If I tell him I'd rather keep him in my past he'd understand, but if that's just me trying to bury unresolved emotions, then that might not be what's best in the long run. I just don't know.
And I still have to finish my poster run.
That's tough. I know what you mean about having the range of exes, where it is totally fine to stay on good terms with some while others just can't be a presence in your life without confusion/pain/residual feelings/whatever it may be. If it was me, I would probably get coffee with the ex and see if it feels better to catch up and develop that kind of casual contact, but then if it feels bad for any reason, don't do it again. I'm also pretty forgiving though, and if possible, I also prefer to remain on good terms. It is totally your call, but that's my advice.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
I originally posted this in the GRR thread, but on second thought, I think it's more appropriate here.
Today was a somewhat shitty day. My friend Will came over to help me with my poster run for street team, and I was up til 4 in the morning so I was pretty tired and not really feeling like going. Then we drive out to Philly and only get as far as hanging up six posters, when I run into my ex. It was the first time I've seen him since we broke up over a year ago. It's weird, because I've had a feeling for quite some time that one of these days I was going to run into him (he lives in Philly but I don't go there very often at all), and it turns out today was the day. Forgive the mumbo-jumbo, but it's instances like this that make me think some things were fated to happen - I saw him walking across the crosswalk while I was waiting at a red light, in a part of the city I've never been to before, on the opposite side of the city from where he lives. What are the odds? So I waved him down and pulled over to say hi, and we briefly chatted for a minute or two (it was good to see him and I'm glad that he's doing well), but it totally fucked up my day for reasons I can't explain. It didn't overwhelm me with emotion or anything like that - I've felt like I've been completely over him for a couple months now, and just a week or two ago I deleted his number from my phone - but all these small niggling emotions just coalesced to make me feel like shit. It was a little bit anxiety, a little bit of regret for letting our relationship go on for so long, a little bit of missing him, a little bit of anger...just enough "little bits" to join together in a ball of confusion in my gut. I'm not sure what this means - if it means that I'm not really over him yet (which is fine if that's the case; these things take time and I allow myself that), or if it's just a natural reaction to seeing the person who once brought me so much happiness and heartbreak for the first time in so long. Nonetheless, whether it was fate or happenstance, it happened, and here I am. I wouldn't go as far as to say that it ruined my day, but I immediately lost all interest in doing the poster run, and instead went for some retail therapy and Halal, which I didn't even eat because I had no appetite.
Later in the day he texted me, reiterating that it was good to see me and that he wants to catch up, but I haven't replied yet. I'm not sure what's best for me. If in the long run it's going to help me resolve whatever these feelings are, I don't mind doing it even if it makes me little uncomfortable. But on the other hand, even though he's a good guy and I'd like to be his friend if it were possible, I'm not sure that I'll ever be in his presence without being reminded of...everything. I have good, healthy friendships with some of my exes, I've lost contact with some, there's one that I absolutely never want to see again, but him...I just don't know. I don't know what I'm capable of and I don't know what's best for me. If I tell him I'd rather keep him in my past he'd understand, but if that's just me trying to bury unresolved emotions, then that might not be what's best in the long run. I just don't know.
And I still have to finish my poster run.
That's tough. I know what you mean about having the range of exes, where it is totally fine to stay on good terms with some while others just can't be a presence in your life without confusion/pain/residual feelings/whatever it may be. If it was me, I would probably get coffee with the ex and see if it feels better to catch up and develop that kind of casual contact, but then if it feels bad for any reason, don't do it again. I'm also pretty forgiving though, and if possible, I also prefer to remain on good terms. It is totally your call, but that's my advice.
This is solid advice. Dip your toe in the pool before you jump all the way back in. Sometimes, revisiting things helps make sense of that part of your life. Other times, revisiting things just reopens the wound and makes everything even more confused. It's going to be up to you to decide which path you think reopening that relationship will take down. Just remember that it doesn't make you a bad person if you choose to not continue the relationship in any capacity.
I just bought an engagement ring. It's stretched my funds out real thin, and I'm not proposing until late March on her birthday so my GF is having a hard time understanding why I can't afford anything, and its frustrating because I can't tell her. Why are diamonds so fucking expensive? Why aren't ring pops sufficient? Why didn't I buy her a new car instead of a ring? Fucking life man.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
Thanks!! It's exciting, but its honestly causing a ton of fights. Just simple misc things that I normally would have no problem saying yes to, I just can't right now. I want it to be a huge surprise so there's no way I'm spilling the beans. It's a weird problem to have.
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
I don't know. I've never been proposed to so I have no idea the significance of the feelings involved for a gal.
Its probably going to come down to that. Once I see this ring when it's finished, I'll want her to have it as soon as possible. I don't see myself having the patience to wait another month.
Jaz, this is delayed, but I def agree with the other two. Maybe meet up and grab a bite to eat or something super casual and see how it goes and what you feel. If your confusion and anxiety worsen, don't do it again. If you feel some relief to have a little more closure then that's even better. Exes are hard, but it sounds like you either want or need something more there and it'd be unfair to yourself not to try and resolve whatever that is.
As far as your response to him, you have to go back into the city to finish your poster run. That sounds like an easy/casual way to go meet up. You're not going out of your way to see him but it totally justifies the meet up. You probably already responded to his text by now, but whatever decision you made here you can't really go wrong. You're the only one who knows what feels right.
That's tough. I know what you mean about having the range of exes, where it is totally fine to stay on good terms with some while others just can't be a presence in your life without confusion/pain/residual feelings/whatever it may be. If it was me, I would probably get coffee with the ex and see if it feels better to catch up and develop that kind of casual contact, but then if it feels bad for any reason, don't do it again. I'm also pretty forgiving though, and if possible, I also prefer to remain on good terms. It is totally your call, but that's my advice.
This is solid advice. Dip your toe in the pool before you jump all the way back in. Sometimes, revisiting things helps make sense of that part of your life. Other times, revisiting things just reopens the wound and makes everything even more confused. It's going to be up to you to decide which path you think reopening that relationship will take down. Just remember that it doesn't make you a bad person if you choose to not continue the relationship in any capacity.
Thanks, I agree. There are plenty of other things that make me a bad person.
Jaz, this is delayed, but I def agree with the other two. Maybe meet up and grab a bite to eat or something super casual and see how it goes and what you feel. If your confusion and anxiety worsen, don't do it again. If you feel some relief to have a little more closure then that's even better. Exes are hard, but it sounds like you either want or need something more there and it'd be unfair to yourself not to try and resolve whatever that is.
As far as your response to him, you have to go back into the city to finish your poster run. That sounds like an easy/casual way to go meet up. You're not going out of your way to see him but it totally justifies the meet up. You probably already responded to his text by now, but whatever decision you made here you can't really go wrong. You're the only one who knows what feels right.
I haven't responded to him yet; I decided to sleep on it. This makes sense though - if I go to meet up with him, I'll gain clarity for myself in one direction or the other.
I'm all for clarity and closure. That said, I've had about four or five semi/almost/temporary break ups with my current loverrrrr, so... it can definitely be a dangerous move haha. Sometimes you reach back out to get clarity and assurance that the relationship meant something, then suddenly you're back in it. But I have faith that you might very well be better at life/dealing with complicated situations than me!
Considering you've found the need to respond to my threads as if you are threatened by me I offer you some peace my confused counterpart. May you find peace in your restless soul.
I'm all for clarity and closure. That said, I've had about four or five semi/almost/temporary break ups with my current loverrrrr, so... it can definitely be a dangerous move haha. Sometimes you reach back out to get clarity and assurance that the relationship meant something, then suddenly you're back in it. But I have faith that you might very well be better at life/dealing with complicated situations than me!
Oh, I'm not too worried about that.
Friendship is definitely the furthest our relationship could go at this point. We're both pretty awesome, but a horrible match for each other, and we both know that.
my friend just posted this on facebook, and I haven't related so closely to anything ever.
Before you grab that whole pizza to sadly inhale by yourself.. lemme add to your disgrace by blessing your eyes with a mural of magnets of all your cheerful friends eye humping and frolicking with their soulmates -refrigerator
Welcome back Bonz, but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal.
Welcome back Bonz, but I do not find it strange that your presence being requested in the Orgy thread and then you showing up, like it was the quacking Bonzai Bat Signal.
Found myself single in the fall, through mutual agreement with a girl who had been a long-term partner up until we realized it just wasn't working. We both moved on, are still good friends, et cetera et cetera.
I started seeing a girl I occasionally work with. Really casual, just sex and hanging out. The sex was phenomenal, but it became apparent to me after a couple of months that as a relationship, it didn't have legs. Her depressive issues and mine just would not play together well long term, especially given our ages and so forth. This realization coincided with a musician that I have been talking to for a while breaking up with her boyfriend. Turns out that she is and has been just as interested in me as I've been in her. We went out for coffee, which turned into a date, which all went as well as I could have hoped, if not better. All of this was incredibly unexpected, but also wonderful.
But as part of the thing with the occasional coworker, we agreed that if anyone came into our orbit, we'd tell the other. So tonight, I called her up and told her. And hoo boy, did she go off. Said she didn't think she could be friends with me, that she doesn't believe a thing I've ever said, that I'm top of the list of friends who have let her down lately, that I'm oblivious (which is a self-serving insult: I have no idea why she is calling me oblivious, which makes her feel vindicated). She somehow 'knew' who the other girl would be (they are acquainted, barely) before I even got a chance to tell her. I could practically feel the flames lapping at my earlobe when she talked.
I don't know. I've never been proposed to so I have no idea the significance of the feelings involved for a gal.
I feel like I've misrepresented myself a bit. I have in fact been proposed to. And I have been married and divorced. But I was proposed to at a rave when I was 19. By the MC so it was in front of a 1000 people. And I was white girl wasted so I don't really remember it. I never married that boy. When I did get married it was a simple court house wedding.
So….I do stand by my statement…I've never gotten traditionally proposed to, married, divorced.
I don't know. I've never been proposed to so I have no idea the significance of the feelings involved for a gal.
I feel like I've misrepresented myself a bit. I have in fact been proposed to. And I have been married and divorced. But I was proposed to at a rave when I was 19. By the MC so it was in front of a 1000 people. And I was white girl wasted so I don't really remember it. I never married that boy. When I did get married it was a simple court house wedding.
So….I do stand by my statement…I've never gotten traditionally proposed to, married, divorced.
and theres that.
carry on….I suck at relationships.
I just haven't found the ONE…yet.
Monie's never gonna give you up... She's never gonna let you down!
Is the problem that she doesn't like to do the same things you do or that she has a problem with you doing things without her? Either way I'm sorry and I hope you can work it out.
Thanks fer the support, gang.
We normally enjoy similar things. And she doesn't mind me goin' out on my own, which is great fer me! But I had no right to drive home last night, which was one reason I wanted her with me. She knows I'm mad at her too, but I just couldn't even collect my thoughts before work this afternoon.
And let's be real; I'm not a saint. But just...ugh.
Just some quick advice.... and this comes from someone who stayed with a true asshole for too long (and got married to, had kids with)
Relationships should make you feel good more often than bad. Maybe it's a rough patch, but maybe she should have been there for you during a loss. Even if I was truly uncomfortable around people/situation, I would have dropped you off and picked you up. It's the least I could do for someone in that situation.
Sometimes we stay with people when we shouldn't -- bc much like an old shoe, it's familiar, it's comfortable. The thought of being single/moving/etc is overwhelming and just easier to stay put.
But please think about the following: the pants in the relationship should be a 50/50 thing. One person shouldn't always get to override the other. If that is continuing to get worse (if this isn't just a rough patch), imagine down the road if you get married, have kids. You will be miserable....
Hopefully it's just a rough patch.... BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, ALWAYS SEEK HAPPINESS! Hope things get better man
I also married someone that I was with out of comfort.
Since then I've made a promise to myself to never settle for anything less than that instant attraction, passionate, pound your fists against the wall, scream it from the rooftops type of feels.