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My boyfriend before the one that married my friend said I wasn't "Christian enough" because I was a Catholic. He also told me I was going to hell just because I was Catholic.
Yeah...I don't have much luck, haha.
Don't be scurred Viking. I have earned a huge VIP spot down there, you can all hang.
As a fellow catholic, that's real disappointing news for me. Damn, I really don't want to go to hell.
Don't be scurred Viking. I have earned a huge VIP spot down there, you can all hang.
We're all a mess of paradoxes. Believing in things we know can't be true. We walk around carrying feelings too complicated and contradictory to express. But when it all becomes too big, and words aren't enough to help get it all out, there's always music.
Me. We were engaged and he said he didn't think it was God's plan for us to get married. We had the most amazing sex...but he thought he should marry a virgin.?
He did. And I married a Muslim. (not devout) Funny how things turn out.
I once dumped a Hindu guy because I met the JW and found Jah. For a minute anyways.
We're all a mess of paradoxes. Believing in things we know can't be true. We walk around carrying feelings too complicated and contradictory to express. But when it all becomes too big, and words aren't enough to help get it all out, there's always music.
Don't be scurred Viking. I have earned a huge VIP spot down there, you can all hang.
As a fellow catholic, that's real disappointing news for me. Damn, I really don't want to go to hell.
Don't be scurred Viking. I have earned a huge VIP spot down there, you can all hang.
Hurray! perfect place for the Roman Orgy I was imagining. We will just need lots of booze, corn, food, etc, and everything will be perfect! Oh and tunes. Maybe some Marley, switching to Underworld for Late Night.
i am not going to whine about my current relationship, but just to say that it is seeming like a perfect person, wrong place/time. he is dealing with a recent divorce and he lives in houston (3hrs from here) so we are still taking things slow. i like him a lot though, so i'm willing to wait. (he's british and a nurse who likes to surf. don't be too jelly ladies. )
for all you peeps out there that want to start going on a bunch of dates, i would suggest okcupid. i honestly see myself as someone that might never marry (not in a sad way, but just a "it's not for me" way) so dating is just fun to me and not serious.
okcupid is good b/c it is FREE and not a lot of pressure. there was no way i was gonna pay $40 for match.com or any of those other sites. i've been on there since the end of october and i've had 7 first dates.
three went past that and two i'm still talking to (one is the divorced guy). it is kind of nice to be able to window shop before you "buy". hahahaha
My boyfriend before the one that married my friend said I wasn't "Christian enough" because I was a Catholic. He also told me I was going to hell just because I was Catholic.
Yeah...I don't have much luck, haha.
Yeah I have also been dumped for God. It was a sensitive situation but still sad and frustrating. Basically my girlfriend at the time was a recovering heroin addict. I couldn't even imagine what it must be like to go through that (she started recovering before we even met so I never knew her when she was addicted). She was doing well for awhile and then she relapsed. She had to go to rehab, this time, and when she came out, she was more or less a born again christian (used to be pretty much a stone cold atheist). She was a totally different person than when she went in there, and I don't mean to knock rehabilitation centers OR religion because they are both seemingly extremely effective coping methods for addicts, but she just wasn't the same and refused to let me acknowledge my lack of religious beliefs, and so we broke up on still friendly terms, but basically because she had become a born again christian and I was not going to pretend to be christian just to stay with her.
Plenty of fish is a wealth of opportunity also. OKC is a little more "alternative". POF is kind of a meat market.
POF is the ultimate meat market! It's the AOL of the online dating world! I tried it for TWO WEEKS after my last LTR ended, just to see what's out there. That's all it took!
I met two old friends from college (one of whom was still married but pretending not to be!), another I'd already met back in my late-20s rave phase, and one guy who was halfway decent. I deleted my account the day some stalker guy showed up IN MY OFFICE after we'd exchanged 3 messages. He'd Googled my profile name, cross-referenced it to my Twitter or blog, then figured out where my office is on campus and WALKED UP TO ME while I was sitting at my desk meeting with several students (yay for witnesses!) and introduced himself. I had never even told him where I worked or what my last name was.
There are some desperate, strange people out there with more libido than common sense.
Post by sleepyjean on Mar 26, 2012 14:04:22 GMT -5
Yikes. What a creeper!
I haven't tried out online dating - sometimes I think maybe I should just give it a shot but the guys from my area are...underwhelming. That's probably as nice as I can get on that one. So I either should just move or embrace spinsterhood.
I need to whine about a very important relationship that I have. My best friend Denice, who I mentioned in another post, (the one I helped her get her floor situation taken care of) last night was over. As we occasionally do, we hooked up. It is not a regular thing, but it just happens sometimes.
I love this woman, but not in a romantic way. Although, I can not imagine her not in my life. THe thought of that is very difficult. So she decided to stay over last night, and as we were falling asleep she asked a few questions about married girl. Then she got quiet.
Then she professed her love for me. Said she had to go, because she deserved better, etc.
I do not want to lose my best friend in the WORLD, but she asked me not to contact her or talk to her or text her basically disappear. She has to get over me, and she can't with us talking to each other pretty much ALL THE TIME.
I am conflicted here. I want to be a good friend to her and I don't want her hurting (which she explained that she pretty much hurts a LOT and cries over me a LOT), so I WANT to respect her wishes. However, I REALLLY don't want to lose my best friend.
This is a SHYTTIE situation. UUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Post by abrakapokus on Mar 26, 2012 14:44:42 GMT -5
Not to be insensitive because your situation really does suck but that's the exact reason you don't sleep with your friends. You either have to become more or the friendship fades away. The only time I've seen it work if it was a one time thing and they never slept together again. Pretty much though, you are screwed.
^^^Surfbum, as a lady who's asked a guy to not contact her in any way, so that she can get over the situation - DO NOT CONTACT HER. I completely understand your predicament. You guys are best friends - you talk about everything, you trust each other, you love each other etc. etc. But the bottom line is this: while you can't imagine life without her as your Friend, SHE can not imagine you in her life as anything other than MORE than a Friend. So if you continue to contact her as a friend, she will continue to imagine/dream/hope for MORE than that - because that's what SHE needs.
When the person you asked to stop calling/texting/contacting you continues to do so, it makes it SO HARD to move on. And now that I've been through it, and am on the other side of it, it's easier to see how SELFISH that person is for continuing the relationship in any way, no matter how minuscule. One text, no matter how mundane, even only once a week, once a month, once every 2 months and can unravel weeks of progress, and quite frankly, is infuriating. It's just a way for them to keep you in their lives because its what THEY want, and they have no consideration as to how it can affect the person they allegedly "love."
It sucks for you. Really. I really hate that you have to say goodbye to this friend right now. But thats just it: RIGHT NOW. Give her time to figure her head out and get over the hump. Then one day, she'll come to you a better, stronger person and can be an even better friend to you. Just let her do it on her time, not yours. Good luck mister.
Music Midtown'01'02'04'05'11-'13::Ultra'02'03::Roo'07-'16::ACL'10::AF/TheNational'11::Sasquatch'11::Voodoo'11'16::Counterpoint'12'14::Moogfest'12::TommorowWorld'13'14::MOEMS'13::Coachella'14'15::ShakyKnees'13-'17::MFGLASTONBURY2017
Understood. I will have to go to no contact with her until she gets back in touch with me (which I think she will do eventually - hell, she is going to be at Hangout...).
It is a hard pill to swallow, because I really do not have many friends. I have lots of superficial "friends" or buddies, or whatever you want to call them. LOTS. Believe it or not, I am a fairly likable guy. But I do not develop deep relationships with people often. I trust VERY FEW people.
I wish I felt the same way about her. We are incredibly compatible on every level. Seriously. I have never met a woman before where I cared about her this much and not been in a relationship with her. I have never been with a woman where the compatibility was so great.
Music Midtown'01'02'04'05'11-'13::Ultra'02'03::Roo'07-'16::ACL'10::AF/TheNational'11::Sasquatch'11::Voodoo'11'16::Counterpoint'12'14::Moogfest'12::TommorowWorld'13'14::MOEMS'13::Coachella'14'15::ShakyKnees'13-'17::MFGLASTONBURY2017
This is not only the most tragic thing you could hear from an otherwise interesting person, but something I just don't get... I seem to chat with a lot of these people... THIS kind of exchange is a dealbreaker for me...
Me: What kind of music are you into? Guy: Rock, classical, techno. Me: Right on. What are some of your favorite artists? Guy: I don't know. I don't know bands. Me: ...Songs? Guy: I'm not good with names but if I heard it I'd like it.
Or even worse
Me: What are you into for music? Guy: Everything. Me: Right on! What do you like the best? Guy: All of it. Me: ...What do you hate? Guy: Country.
PLEASE CARE ABOUT MUSIC EVEN IN A NEGATIVE FASHION!! Even if you hate a particular band that's better than not caring at all... just can't wrap my head around it... it'd be like dating an alien.
Understood. I will have to go to no contact with her until she gets back in touch with me (which I think she will do eventually - hell, she is going to be at Hangout...).
It is a hard pill to swallow, because I really do not have many friends. I have lots of superficial "friends" or buddies, or whatever you want to call them. LOTS. Believe it or not, I am a fairly likable guy. But I do not develop deep relationships with people often. I trust VERY FEW people.
I wish I felt the same way about her. We are incredibly compatible on every level. Seriously. I have never met a woman before where I cared about her this much and not been in a relationship with her. I have never been with a woman where the compatibility was so great.
I am going to miss my friend a lot.
Wait, you feel like you are greatly compatible with her, you find her attractive enough to sleep with her, you have affection for her.....What's missing that prevents this from going to the next level?
We're all a mess of paradoxes. Believing in things we know can't be true. We walk around carrying feelings too complicated and contradictory to express. But when it all becomes too big, and words aren't enough to help get it all out, there's always music.
Understood. I will have to go to no contact with her until she gets back in touch with me (which I think she will do eventually - hell, she is going to be at Hangout...).
It is a hard pill to swallow, because I really do not have many friends. I have lots of superficial "friends" or buddies, or whatever you want to call them. LOTS. Believe it or not, I am a fairly likable guy. But I do not develop deep relationships with people often. I trust VERY FEW people.
I wish I felt the same way about her. We are incredibly compatible on every level. Seriously. I have never met a woman before where I cared about her this much and not been in a relationship with her. I have never been with a woman where the compatibility was so great.
I am going to miss my friend a lot.
Wait, you feel like you are greatly compatible with her, you find her attractive enough to sleep with her, you have affection for her.....What's missing that prevents this from going to the next level?
That's the all time secret ingredient. This above has the making for a lifelong happy relationship, If only he lusted for her as much as loves her. Lust + Love + Respect = relationship Nirvana.
Hang in there Surf. Mayo was right.... I get you 100% on the close relationships.. Inforoo has opened me up there a ton. Unless you can give more - as in your heart (which sounds like a damn good idea based on what you wrote ) do not contact her. Sucks, but she's in love with you by the sounds of it, and you just love her. Two different animals. sigh... GL surf.
She is more than "attractive enough" she is quite pretty. On the inside AND outside. There is literally NOTHING I would change about her. ExcePt, I just don't feel romantic feelings for her. I wish I did. I think about it all the time. "if only" I felt that way. I have honestly never met a woman I was more compatible with. And I don't have romantic thoughts towards her. It's kind of torturous honestly.
We're all a mess of paradoxes. Believing in things we know can't be true. We walk around carrying feelings too complicated and contradictory to express. But when it all becomes too big, and words aren't enough to help get it all out, there's always music.
She is more than "attractive enough" she is quite pretty. On the inside AND outside. There is literally NOTHING I would change about her. ExcePt, I just don't feel romantic feelings for her. I wish I did. I think about it all the time. "if only" I felt that way. I have honestly never met a woman I was more compatible with. And I don't have romantic thoughts towards her. It's kind of torturous honestly.
Before I met Chris and after a really bad relationship I met this amazing guy. He was so good to me and I credit him for being part of the reason the previous break up didn't destroy my self confidence, although Dave was responsible for the majority of that repair. ANYWAY he was a really really good guy and there wasn't anything wrong with him. On paper he was perfect and all my friends and family were telling me not to quack it up. We dated for a month and I broke up with him when I found he was really falling for me and I wasn't for him at all. Got lonely several months later and after dating some losers I called him back. We started dating again and a couple weeks later I broke up with him again.
As hard as I tried there wasn't a spark there. I should have never called him the second time, it was very selfish, but I had hoped it would work out or we could at least be friends. All that is just a long way of saying no matter how good a person is there has to be chemistry, you can't make yourself love someone you don't.
She is more than "attractive enough" she is quite pretty. On the inside AND outside. There is literally NOTHING I would change about her. ExcePt, I just don't feel romantic feelings for her. I wish I did. I think about it all the time. "if only" I felt that way. I have honestly never met a woman I was more compatible with. And I don't have romantic thoughts towards her. It's kind of torturous honestly.
Before I met Chris and after a really bad relationship I met this amazing guy. He was so good to me and I credit him for being part of the reason the previous break up didn't destroy my self confidence, although Dave was responsible for the majority of that repair. ANYWAY he was a really really good guy and there wasn't anything wrong with him. On paper he was perfect and all my friends and family were telling me not to quack it up. We dated for a month and I broke up with him when I found he was really falling for me and I wasn't for him at all. Got lonely several months later and after dating some losers I called him back. We started dating again and a couple weeks later I broke up with him again.
As hard as I tried there wasn't a spark there. I should have never called him the second time, it was very selfish, but I had hoped it would work out or we could at least be friends. All that is just a long way of saying no matter how good a person is there has to be chemistry, you can't make yourself love someone you don't.
At the risk of sounding cliche - give it time. Im so sorry you're going through this. you're doing the right thing though.
Im not sure, but that looks like 4 cliche's in the same post LOL
(kidding - kind of )
It's totally cool! I also use wit to make myself feel better - Im a silver lining kinda person, and funnies get me in a good state of mind. No offense taken at all.
Music Midtown'01'02'04'05'11-'13::Ultra'02'03::Roo'07-'16::ACL'10::AF/TheNational'11::Sasquatch'11::Voodoo'11'16::Counterpoint'12'14::Moogfest'12::TommorowWorld'13'14::MOEMS'13::Coachella'14'15::ShakyKnees'13-'17::MFGLASTONBURY2017
Post by candyflippedaround on Mar 27, 2012 23:19:34 GMT -5
I knocked out one of my best friends Sunday over a girl. That's a good start I guess. Nearly lost my job because of it, still am not clear on the exact repercussions but I think I'm alright. Anyways one of my good friends thought it would be a grand idea to interrupt me kissing a girl by taking my arm off of her an putting his own around her. It was not. I tried very hard to not let it escalate to the level it did but it was inevitable due to his attitude. Long story short I badly hurt a good friend, who unfortunately probably deserved what he got, and am now unsure of how to go forward with either relationship. I don't know what's going on in my life. I can't wait for Bonnaroo.
) 
Good luck mister. 
a lot.
)
