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I’m going to be brutally honest here. When I was 14, if David Bowie had wanted to deflower me, I would have been more than willing. Would it have been right? Hell no. And at that stage in his career he probably would have preferred my male best friend. But that was the reality back then. Things are changing. And I’m glad.
I’m going to be brutally honest here. When I was 14, if David Bowie had wanted to deflower me, I would have been more than willing. Would it have been right? Hell no. And at that stage in his career he probably would have preferred my male best friend. But that was the reality back then. Things are changing. And I’m glad.
Wow. You went through 4 years of my shit to find that. I feel validated.
Post by Jake Jortles on Jul 11, 2023 19:15:47 GMT -5
Jonah Hill is just on the unfortunate end of an ugly x hot relationship. Sucks to suck. Most of the people who are on the ug end of the situation probably feel like he does and are insecure that the hot will find another hot. He did tell her she can dip if she can’t deal with how much of a loser he is, and it would have made sense for her to do so right away.
I personally believe that he isn’t lying about the way he naturally feels about it and don’t view his revealing of those feelings to be abusive.
Post by jorgeandthekraken on Jul 11, 2023 19:44:06 GMT -5
Thought exercise: Let's replace "wants to control what she can post, who she can hang out with, etc." with, "is going to punch her in the face." Like, he texts and says, "Look, in order to be in this relationship, I need to punch you in the face again and again. That's just who I am. You should know up front that those are my terms. Take it or leave it."
How would we feel about him then? Because I feel like two things can be true, here: 1) The "boundaries" Jonah Hill had for being in that relationship are manipulative and emotionally abusive, and being up front about them doesn't make that he thinks it's OK to treat someone like that OK, and 2) it is better that he told her about them rather than making her guess.
Even with #2, though, the whole "she could just walk away" thing is reductive. We haven't been exposed to the other side of his behavior - the good side of things that I'm sure was there. The vast, vast majority of abusive relationships - physical or emotional - aren't just all abuse all the time. I would bet good money he treated her like gold some of the time, maybe even a lot of the time. That's how these things end up so difficult for the abused party to leave, in many cases, because they can never quite get their emotional footing and process the abusive side.
These things are hard and complicated. I'm sure he may not even be consciously aware of some of the stuff he's doing. I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship as the one being abused, and I've engaged in behavior with a past partner that I later came to realize through therapy was manipulative in a way I had no intention to be. I'm glad she's out of a relationship like that, and I hope he gets the help he needs to realize that, when it comes to working on these sorts of insecurity issues, as GI Joe said, knowing is only half the battle.
Do you want to dance while also thinking about all the ways you've failed as a human?
UPCOMING SHOWS 11/18 - Slowdive @ Brooklyn Paramount 11/21 - Caribou @ Avant Gardner 11/23 - LCD Soundsystem @ Knockdown Center 11/25 - TV on the Radio @ Webster Hall 12/5 - LCD Soundsystem @ Knockdown Center 12/7 - LCD Soundsystem @ Knockdown Center
Thought exercise: Let's replace "wants to control what she can post, who she can hang out with, etc." with, "is going to punch her in the face." Like, he texts and says, "Look, in order to be in this relationship, I need to punch you in the face again and again. That's just who I am. You should know up front that those are my terms. Take it or leave it."
How would we feel about him then? Because I feel like two things can be true, here: 1) The "boundaries" Jonah Hill had for being in that relationship are manipulative and emotionally abusive, and being up front about them doesn't make that he thinks it's OK to treat someone like that OK, and 2) it is better that he told her about them rather than making her guess.
Even with #2, though, the whole "she could just walk away" thing is reductive. We haven't been exposed to the other side of his behavior - the good side of things that I'm sure was there. The vast, vast majority of abusive relationships - physical or emotional - aren't just all abuse all the time. I would bet good money he treated her like gold some of the time, maybe even a lot of the time. That's how these things end up so difficult for the abused party to leave, in many cases, because they can never quite get their emotional footing and process the abusive side.
These things are hard and complicated. I'm sure he may not even be consciously aware of some of the stuff he's doing. I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship as the one being abused, and I've engaged in behavior with a past partner that I later came to realize through therapy was manipulative in a way I had no intention to be. I'm glad she's out of a relationship like that, and I hope he gets the help he needs to realize that, when it comes to working on these sorts of insecurity issues, as GI Joe said, knowing is only half the battle.
I love thought experiments, but I think changing it from “this is something I don’t want my partner to do” to “I need to punch my partner in the face” is so materially different that it’s hard to follow your point.
Do you want to dance while also thinking about all the ways you've failed as a human?
UPCOMING SHOWS 11/18 - Slowdive @ Brooklyn Paramount 11/21 - Caribou @ Avant Gardner 11/23 - LCD Soundsystem @ Knockdown Center 11/25 - TV on the Radio @ Webster Hall 12/5 - LCD Soundsystem @ Knockdown Center 12/7 - LCD Soundsystem @ Knockdown Center
Jonah Hill is just on the unfortunate end of an ugly x hot relationship. Sucks to suck. Most of the people who are on the ug end of the situation probably feel like he does and are insecure that the hot will find another hot. He did tell her she can dip if she can’t deal with how much of a loser he is, and it would have made sense for her to do so right away.
I personally believe that he isn’t lying about the way he naturally feels about it and don’t view his revealing of those feelings to be abusive.
Jonah Hill is just on the unfortunate end of an ugly x hot relationship. Sucks to suck. Most of the people who are on the ug end of the situation probably feel like he does and are insecure that the hot will find another hot. He did tell her she can dip if she can’t deal with how much of a loser he is, and it would have made sense for her to do so right away.
I personally believe that he isn’t lying about the way he naturally feels about it and don’t view his revealing of those feelings to be abusive.
Jonah Hill is just on the unfortunate end of an ugly x hot relationship. Sucks to suck. Most of the people who are on the ug end of the situation probably feel like he does and are insecure that the hot will find another hot. He did tell her she can dip if she can’t deal with how much of a loser he is, and it would have made sense for her to do so right away.
I personally believe that he isn’t lying about the way he naturally feels about it and don’t view his revealing of those feelings to be abusive.
Lol nice victim blaming there buddy
The best moments are seeing the men who come to the defense.
I’d say this behavior is exclusive to men, but alas it is not. Disproportionately men? Sure.
This has been said all over the Internet but therapy speak / boundaries can be used as a manipulation tactic. Boundaries are never demands!
Post by abefroman1 on Jul 11, 2023 22:31:58 GMT -5
It's really not that hard to see the difference between what Jonah Hill said vs actual boundry concern (i.e. "hey babe could you watch out around that creepy friend of your friend that is obviously in love with you")
I’m not going to jump to his defense in this situation.
I just don’t like that people are supporting the normalization of airing dirty laundry and private messages when you KNOW it’s going to go viral and cause a shit storm for that person that is at a level that none of us will ever understand.
It’s stupid to me to care about what he said and condemn him but also ignore the shitty thing she did in retaliation. At least hate on them both
You basically implied that’s it’s all good bc he said “well if you don’t enjoy me treating you like shit, why don’t you just leave?”. That’s the equivalent to “if you don’t want to be raped, don’t wear short skirts”. Telling your partner what to wear is NOT normal (unless you’re going somewhere with a dress code I guess) and it’s especially not normal to tell your SURFER gf she can’t post pictures in a bikini?? Does she need to wear a head to toe burka on her board and then he’s chill?
Also I find it funny you blame this on him being the “uggo” in the relationship. For two reasons. 1-I have been the ugly person many times and have never told them they can’t be friends with people?? If I felt the need to say that, I usually stopped seeing them bc I realized I was the one feeling insecure and that I prob just didn’t trust the person. And 2-homeboy lost soooo much weight and is still considered ugly? Like that is ALL fat people are told-“lose weight and you’ll be hot”. Buncha bullshit.
I’m not going to jump to his defense in this situation.
I just don’t like that people are supporting the normalization of airing dirty laundry and private messages when you KNOW it’s going to go viral and cause a shit storm for that person that is at a level that none of us will ever understand.
It’s stupid to me to care about what he said and condemn him but also ignore the shitty thing she did in retaliation. At least hate on them both
Airing "dirty" laundry only goes viral for "famous" people and people that are already in the public's eye. His dirty laundry is disgusting behavior. Sometimes being put on blast is necessary.
I’m not going to jump to his defense in this situation.
I just don’t like that people are supporting the normalization of airing dirty laundry and private messages when you KNOW it’s going to go viral and cause a shit storm for that person that is at a level that none of us will ever understand.
It’s stupid to me to care about what he said and condemn him but also ignore the shitty thing she did in retaliation. At least hate on them both
Airing "dirty" laundry only goes viral for "famous" people and people that are already in the public's eye. His dirty laundry is disgusting behavior. Sometimes being put on blast is necessary.
Depends which state you live in too. We saw what happened with depp and amber heard. We gonna get a sequel?
I’m not going to jump to his defense in this situation.
I just don’t like that people are supporting the normalization of airing dirty laundry and private messages when you KNOW it’s going to go viral and cause a shit storm for that person that is at a level that none of us will ever understand.
It’s stupid to me to care about what he said and condemn him but also ignore the shitty thing she did in retaliation. At least hate on them both
Airing "dirty" laundry only goes viral for "famous" people and people that are already in the public's eye. His dirty laundry is disgusting behavior. Sometimes being put on blast is necessary.
But when your non-famous friends do that stuff on social media, is your first thought “oh he got what was coming to him!” Or is it “good lord, what a jackass but I also can’t believe they’re doing this publicly like this.”
I’ve been in some shitty relationships before, but after we broke up I never sat there and decided “in about a year from now I’m going to ruin this girl’s life”
You basically implied that’s it’s all good bc he said “well if you don’t enjoy me treating you like shit, why don’t you just leave?”. That’s the equivalent to “if you don’t want to be raped, don’t wear short skirts”. Telling your partner what to wear is NOT normal (unless you’re going somewhere with a dress code I guess) and it’s especially not normal to tell your SURFER gf she can’t post pictures in a bikini?? Does she need to wear a head to toe burka on her board and then he’s chill?
Also I find it funny you blame this on him being the “uggo” in the relationship. For two reasons. 1-I have been the ugly person many times and have never told them they can’t be friends with people?? If I felt the need to say that, I usually stopped seeing them bc I realized I was the one feeling insecure and that I prob just didn’t trust the person. And 2-homeboy lost soooo much weight and is still considered ugly? Like that is ALL fat people are told-“lose weight and you’ll be hot”. Buncha bullshit.
The rape analogy is pretty unfair. Actually more than that it’s just completely not applicable and I’m surprised you’d even attempt it. He has a life too. If he doesn’t want to date a girl that is very sexual in public all the time, maybe that’s something he had to learn. Also sometimes, well actually very often, people put themselves out there more when they are single and then they put themselves out there less when they are in a relationship. And I do believe ultimatums in this sense are ok. If she doesn’t like it, which she shouldn’t, she should just end it.
And to the ugly thing… I’m mostly focused on the comparison between the two. I’m proud of him for losing weight. good job. He’s still not in her league physically. If you’ve been in that situation and dealt with it better, that’s great.
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