What can Bonnaroo do to improve in 2014?

If VIP didn't have the privilege of getting to cut in line, I doubt I'd pay for it.

It isn't like VIP people are super rich either, I'd say a lot of people I camped with were far from it, but what they were, were good savers. Skrimp and save through the year, and then be able to purchase the tickets in November. I have the feeling that if anyone looked at their vice budget throughout the year (druqs/alcohol/cigs/videogames/movies etc...) they'd be able to find that money.

Any good conspiracy theories on the Which Ditch? Has to be a form of crowd control or something if they just dont fix the giant mud pit in the middle of the most high traffic area of Bonnaroo.

Considering you can expect 80K people in the What field for a major show.

Then you have 3 acts coming on that will all draw big crowds(R Kelly, Billy Idol, and Weird Al) Two of those are in tents, how many people does a tent support? How many people skipped the big show to get in the front of the tent? What kind of crush would there be to the people already in the tent? Not to mention all the lines for the vendors, portapotties, and food stands that the massive crowd is moving past, the lanes are only so wide, having a set number of people exiting the mud funnel at a time helps to keep from overwhelming these avenues.


I'm thinking some psychological/fire safety genius came up with this ditch.

It is sad. Just took that Roo census from my email. One page it says "We are thinking about changing X, X, X, X, X, X, X.. Which of these do you like?" Not one is tent on screens or fixing Which :/.. Adding amusement park crap and shiz. Think this is falling on deaf ears but still wrote in SCREEN ON TENTS in obnoxious capital letters

Well, they know that it is something a lot of people want. Capps has been told this to his face by multiple inforoosters and also been asked about it in interviews. I do think it will happen one day and they probably don't include it in the surveys because they know that it's wanted already. The real question is why the F aren't they doing anything about it?

I thought Delicious Meatball Sub had a great idea that they could even just add screens to ONE tent but try to keep the more popular shows/expected crowds in that specific tent. That'd still be a huge improvement over what they have now.

Definitely possible to do and definitely a bit more complicated than just "throw up some screens and be done with it" but I think it'd be totally worth it to invest in the technology/personnel. Adding these additions would likely also make it easier for saving and releasing footage later on whether through their youtube page or even if they decided to sell full sets (which I'd buy...but not sure how difficult it'd be to do legally).

Because we don't have to, you braindead dope huffer!

Greetings suckers cash cows morons hillbillies inbred hairfarming shut-ins friends! Ol' Capp Dogg coming atcha' with some post-festival nuggets!

First, let me just say, it was a real treat having all you mangy clowns once again descend on the experimental pesticide testing facility otherwise known as Great Stage Park for a weekend full of semi-interesting music and lots and lots of hot cash flooding my pockets. It's refreshing to know that I can offer you chuckleheads a steaming hot bowl of the same old crap year after year and you eat it up like a blind pig at the trough. Soul jams? New Orleans? Jim James? Nothing Capp'n Crunch over here hasn't booked a dozen times before!

Now, let's talk turkey, turkeys. (WORDPLAY FROM THE CAPPSTER!) I see you all just flocked to your local public library to use the free internet just to hop on here and register your frustration, disgust and anger with the sh*t that I, frankly, just don't care about. And guess what? I STILL DON'T CARE.

Fixing the ditch? Costs money, f*ck you. Putting screens on the tent? Costs money, f*ck you. More trashcans? More porto-potties? Costs money, f*ck you. Acquiring more hay and grass to spread over muddy areas, essentially free natural resources which we could easily harvest should we choose to ever mow this scraggly field of broken hippie dreams? COSTS MONEY, F*CK YOU. And what, you think I'm going to pay someone to pick up trash? I'm not like that idiot Tollett, once I give you degenerates an inch you'll demand a foot. Next you'll want air-conditioned bathroom trailers and shade!

Besides, here's a clue, gang. No matter what Capp-adonna does, you fools keep coming back? You could get back home with weeping red welts all over your back as a result of the MANDATORY BEATINGS administered by the gate staff (coming in 2014!), moaning and crying, then you'd all convince yourselves that Phish or Daft Punk or whoever the f*ck is playing a secret set at 2:00 a.m., and I watch the cash roll in. I'll book one legend like my main man Pauly, and watch you idiots overlook an entire lineup filled with rehashed dreck. Grab a few artists already playing, tell them that oops, sorry, your contract actually calls for THREE shows, and BAM! We've got four Superjams and a couple Sonic Stage sets to pad out the lineup with MUSIC YOU'VE ALREADY HEARD.

So get with it, chumps. Here are some improvements we're making for next year, just to wet your whistles (though I doubt you dope fiends will be able to remember this in a year's time anyway!):
- We're making the clock tower louder, and it's going to go off every 15 minutes. Not only that, we're putting one in every Pod! Every 15 minutes you'll be serenaded by the sounds of cash registers ringing, as you make a futile attempt to stave off madness by cramming your ears full of mud to try and block the incessant sound!
- Less screens. Let's face it, most of the braindead zombies stumbling around the farm, drooling and sweating and pumping their fists aimlessly don't give two sh*ts about who's on stage. All they want is a place to get loaded up on goofballs for a weekend and celebrate sophomore year. So why do they need to see who's playing? By 2015 it's just going to be DJs and rap acts anyway (that's where the money is!), and nobody needs to see close ups of turntables or angry looking gentlemen yelling into microphones.
- MORE BROS. We're booking Dave Matthews, Mumfords, Drake & Lil Wayne, and Deadmau5. Enjoy.
- More goofy artwork repurposed from that traveling carnival I snapped up at a discount. Smells of dead carnies and failure, just like most of your lives.
- I'm ripping up that damned fountain. It just spreads your hippie stink straight into the local aquifer and I'm getting complaints from the locals about developing string warts from drinking tap water.
- We're opening up the Which stage, Thursday night...and shutting down the tents. That stage has plenty of space, you'll be fine. Enjoy watching Sleigh Bells from 2 miles away.

That'll about do it for the Capp Dogg. Stay greasy, AC Slater over and out.

There is really no way this could ever feasibly work. The entire reason it works now is largely because relatively few people are willing to stake out a spot for hours on end - otherwise, everybody and their mother would be trying for pit tickets. It only works with the comedy tent because demand for those shows is comparatively low.

Saying not to book David Byrne for his stage appearance is like saying don't book Paul McCartney because he plays too many Beatles songs.

ziplines to BFE, disc golf

Free food

Also, stuff about infrastructure improvements that he'll ignore. And more fireworks.

"Mr. Capps, we really need to fix the massive ditch and add screens to the tents."
"Naah. Say, how about a giant question mark on the Which and a shade structure that does jack shit?"

Let me write this down for MOEMS. Of course I will only
remember shiny things.